The Book of Chanos

Prologue

15th February 2022

Over the years, my aliases changed from Fear to Vayne, Matryoshka, Voltaire, Alucard. Lastly, it's just a generic name, Dante. But my name is Chanos because "Chanos Chanos" is the scientific name for MilkFish or the national fish of the Philippines.

And it's an inspiration from Vampire: The Masquerade, Malkavians. The crazy vampire race in the bloodline. Where people who roleplay as funny Malkavians thinking mental illness is cute and quirky are what they call "Malk Fish." Which goes the same for every edgy 13-year-old on TikTok.

Dante is the author of the Divine Comedy, which I took inspiration from and definitely not from my favourite game Devil May Cry. It was my childhood game since it first came out on the PlayStation 2, then I got myself a PlayStation 5 to play the last of the series.

My personality in real life is like Dante from the DMC series. Basically, because of something anyone could relate to… anyone who watches, plays, or reads too much of their favourite character. They download the character as input for the fan's new personality.

It's like falling in love with your crush. You become so close together you start to mirror their personality subconsciously.

But all in seriousness, I chose the name Dante as a pen name than the first pen name I made up for myself, which was Klei Nightwriter was, because I wasn't so proud of the Book of Voltaire series. After I edited the entire draft and copy-pasted them on WebNovel, it started to get recognition, which made me proud of myself.

I was an arrogant writer when I first got it published on Amazon and became extremely narcissistic about it, to be honest. I had a superiority complex about my books, which I took too much pride in. And then suddenly, someone just had to kill my ego, and it was my worst mistake as a writer. I deleted it and was forgotten in the sands of time until I thought to myself…

"Is it just a deleted draft? Or an unpublished masterpiece?"

And so, I spent more days editing just the grammar and punctuations without changing anything to show the world about my true self that I love. I became as one with my shadow self and threw away my ego.

I acknowledged my evil side and worked with him, all thanks to the occult and spiritual practices I've been working on with Lord Lucifer through invocation/summoning. As he presented himself in the form of the most beautiful Seraph and gave me forbidden secrets of the universe.

The knowledge I got made me feel motivated that no matter what life strikes at me, be it depression, suicidal thoughts, trauma, anxiety. It won't stop me from becoming a, no scratch that, THE Bestselling Author. I did not sell my soul or anything because he didn't want it and would instead care for my betterment.

This works for every demon I've worked with during my past times. Meditating on infernal angels 6 hours a day while I was fasting and restrained myself from all pleasures, even sex and masturbation, for a month despite my "addiction".

And ascended beyond the 4th Dimensional Astral Planes. And there I met my shadow self. It was Fear himself in his truest form.

And I walked up to him, shook his hand, and agreed to work with him. The truest form of self-love is to love your dark side despite it being evil because your dark side is still yourself. You must love all aspects of yourself and throw away your ego.

Then, alas! I've ascended my soul beyond the universe where I've cleansed myself. The void had purified my soul from all atrocious malice in my mind, body, and spirit.

And then, I woke up from my alpha stage meditation, where my soul came back to my body from astral projection as I thanked the lights that had guided me without getting lost in the realm of spirits and succeeded in getting back to my body.

It's 10:08 am. The problem is, I'm still stuck inside my own home. House arrest, as it seems, is the usual everyday life that I suffer from.

The isolation from society and the rest of the world, seeing nothing but the news on the internet. Anonymous followers from the books I contributed to the realm of the internet.

Where from too much meditation after my soul transcended, I found a new profound power. It's not the one I used to infect my insanity to other people as I usually use, it's not the charm that I inflict on people to do what I tell them, it's not the intimidating words I say out of my mouth to do as I demand, it is not the usual psychic ability that is causing my mental illness.

And it is not the typical obscured words I say where people think otherwise of what I genuinely say as they understand in their perspective. It is unique, and no one has ever found or used it before.

It is a type of charm where I say something and, to those who hear it, dismiss the other negative things I say or the stuff they know related to the words coming out of my mouth. I tried it on my father, asking if I could go outside.

He looked at me, staring down at me, and I thought I might have messed up because he usually said no.

He smiled and said yes and told me to come back by 9 pm because of my medications. He even gave me my favourite hoodie and told me to wear my outing shorts instead of the usual boxers I wear around the house.

He did this casually, as if it's an ordinary thing we do every day. But in fact, he would usually yell at me for asking to go outside since he's overprotective despite my adult age. Asian parents, am I right?

I wore them, sent myself outside, and wanted to try this power again. I went to a random intimidating thug and told him the F-BOMB.

"Hah! Thanks, man. You too, have a good day." he chuckled as he smiled.

I abused this power throughout the day, saying the most vulgar things and people didn't mind it. They would think otherwise, as if it's a good thing.

And literally anything I tell them, they would just do it. Like giving me money, giving in to my seduction, and if I would steal something from convenience stores, I would just say "I don't care." and they would laugh it off and tell me to have a nice day. They would even act so kind that they would tell me to take anything I had.

At first, this felt amazing for the first day. It's been annoying until a week later, and it's driving me insane! Too much affection and love towards me without any neutral, angry, or spiteful reactions are just driving me mad.

So, thanks to this. I felt all alone in the world, pure loneliness in the void. Then suddenly, I found someone who finally understood me. Or I so thought.

This one girl named Lexy, who is the serious type, came up to me and said to me with pure intimidating spite, "How could you tell and do those to people for a week? You're vulgar and terrible! Just because they like you doesn't mean you can treat them like shit!"

"What?! You can understand what I say to them?" I asked in a surprised tone, leaning back in shock.

"Yes I can. Wait, they don't understand what you're telling them?" she said.

"Yes! That's been a problem for a month now and it's getting lonely."

Then suddenly, she just went to a personality switch, and she acted hyper and happy. "Oh hello! Sorry about Bunny, he's just having the same problem as you! He ~ would you like to ride a rollercoaster with me? If you know what I mean by rollercoaster, cutie boy~."

"Um… wait, who?" I asked, feeling puzzled.

Then a sudden personality switch came on again. "Forgive him."

"Him? Wait, but you're a woman."

"Don't mis gender us. We go by He/They. Despite we're biologically female, we prefer masculine because we're both non-binary." she- I mean, HE said this time.

"I see. But you're wearing girlish aesthetic clothing."

"Yes, we're a femboy."

"Ugh…"

"I'm sorry. Are you too stupid to understand what this all means?"

"No, it's just that in the Philippines, types like you are super rare around here. Unless you're in America, of course."

"What do you mean, types like me? What do you mean by that, huh?"

"I don't mean to offend, what i mean is that there are no Filipinos who go by the opposite pronouns and are non binary here. But it's okay. I respect you for that."

"Thank you. I thought another homophobe would be talking to me again. But that makes you a xenophobe."

"A what?"

"Someone who dislikes other foreigners."

"No, it's not that. The Philippines isn't usually like America."

"I know. I was just messing with you. Hah! You're not so smart as I thought you would be."

"I used to have a split personality. His name was Fear. Maybe you could meet him someday."

"And who is this 'Fear'?"

"He's a sociopath. Charming and charismatic. But has some ego trips from time to time. Just don't get on his bad side."

"He might not know how evil I can get. I know it sounds edgy, but I'm trying to prove a point. He sounds… interesting~..."

"Yeah. Indeed so."

"Well, I'll only come out when I have the chance to speak to Fear. You will have to deal and babysit this one hyperactive psycho that had been stalking you for months now. I don't really like you, to be honest.

But I think Fear and I can get along just fine~ I would keep my distance from you. But I'll be watching… while this… darling lovely Fear would come to me, eventually. But I'm not going to give in to him at all, never."

"If you say so…."

Then she had a personality switch back to the original Lexy and not the 'Shakespearean 17th Century British Talker' Bunny.

"Hi! My baby boy!!!" she excitedly screams as he hugs me from behind and refuses to let go.

We had a long conversation where we talked all day, and we had everything in common literally. It turns out Lexy is extremely psychotic, while Bunny is the same one. So far from her personality shifting from time to time. Bunny is her comfort character.

And Bunny would often take care of her like a little child. Even though her age is actually 19. She literally is like a child.

But then, there are times when they would fight. Both of the clashing personalities, Bunny and Lexy. Lexy would do something crazy that could hurt her friends, while Bunny would yell at her. All in the same body they share.

I tried to calm Bunny down, and Lexy would keep on crying while Bunny kept yelling at her.

I would tell Bunny not to call Lexy names because she has a condition she can't control while telling Lexy to listen to Bunny for once because she's only trying to help. They can't just argue all the time because they refuse to understand each other.

Because I know Bunny is in the right and know that she's frustrated from helping Lexy because she refuses to do what she's told. I also tell Bunny that yelling at her would make her worse. While telling Lexy to try to let Bunny help her for once.

Meaning both of them to work together because they both live in the same skin and would treat each other like siblings.

This would only temporarily fix things, while if it happens again, then it happens again. And I have to repeat the same process but different words this time.

So far, my other personality, Fear, had woken up after a long time of not fronting. He'd been dormant for some time now. I was why Bunny fronted because Lexy had been stalking me for months, as she was madly in love and obsessed with me. She knew I had Dissociative Identity Disorder. So, yeah. It's like that.

And there are times where Bunny shows and gives affection subconsciously towards Fear but consciously hates him. While Fear does the same towards her. I could tell they were madly in love with one another.

This would go on for days. But I'm glad at least someone understands me with this same power we have. It is more like a curse where whatever we say, no matter how terrible or vulgar, they would think it's a good thing, and they would be happy about it. No matter what we say… it's driving her and me mad.