Hello, New York City!

I was walking on the streets of New York City, when I saw a man standing in the middle of the street. He looked very weird, he was wearing a black suit with a red tie and a pair of sunglasses.

He has a very long beard and a ponytail as well. He was looking at me and smiling. I was curious and walked closer to him.

"Excuse me sir, do you have any spare change?" He asks.

"I would love to! Happily, but how are you homeless when you're wearing a suit and tie? You look too formal to be a hobo." I said to him,

He laughed, "I'm not a hobo, I'm a wizard. You see, I am a wizard and I use magic to become a wizard. Now, do you have any spare change?"

"Oh shit, you're crazy. You're a crazy man, here's 500 dollars so you can get professional help and medications for your head. Alright? Don't spend them on heroin."

"Thank you very much, Mr. Klei." He said as he walked away.

I was shocked and confused, what just happened? Was that real or fake? What does he mean by "Mr. Klei"? Did he recognize me?

I was still thinking about it when I saw another man with a ponytail. This one is wearing a red shirt with a white vest and blue jeans.

His hair is brown and he's wearing glasses. What the hell is going on? Are these guys trying to prank me? Or are they trying to scare me?

But then I saw a woman with short blonde hair and she was wearing a pink blouse with a yellow skirt.

Her skin is fair and she's wearing black rimmed glasses. She was looking at me with her blue eyes and smiled.

"Excuse me miss, do you have any spare change?" The man with the ponytail asked her.

"Of course, but why do you ask?" She asked.

"Well, I'm a wizard and I use magic to become a wizard. Now, do you have any spare change?"

I started to get suspicious of them, what the bloody hell is going on here? The fact that they even know my name is super weird. I'm not THAT famous yet, at least not yet because I'm about to be soon.

But these hobos are super suspicious. I'm thinking whether I should just ignore them or observe them until they do something crazy. I can't let a lady get hurt by a crazy hobo who thinks they're a wizard. So I just observed from a short distance.

The first guy who was a wizard just asked the girl for spare change and she gave him some money. Then the second guy who was a wizard also asked the same question and she gave him some money too.

WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS THIS? This is super sketchy and shady. I got curious how they knew my name so I went to ask them and said to the hobos, "How did you guys know my name?" I asked.

"Oh, we're just playing around. We're just having fun." The first guy said.

"What? Why?" I asked.

"It's just a game. A fun little game that we play sometimes."

I sighed in relief, "But how did you know my name as Mr. Klei?"

"Because we're wizards, and we can read minds."

I was really relieved, I thought they were trying to prank me. But now I'm starting to get scared because these people seem to know me very well.

"That's funny, because I'm a psychotic vampire and I can read minds and can infect my insanity towards you. So if you don't tell the truth now I can drive you to a mental asylum."

"Oooh, scary!" The girl said, laughing.

"Now, are you gonna tell us the truth or not?" I asked them.

They both stared at me, "Yup, we know everything about you."

"I was just playing around too, LOL. So anyway, what do you know about me and how?" I asked them.

"We know you are a psychopathic vampire who wants to suck blood out of innocent people, and kill them. And you want to drink their blood and eat their flesh."

"Yeah, but that was me being delusional when I was in a psychotic episode, it never happened."

"You don't believe us? Fine, I'll prove it to you."

"Fine, I'll show you."

Then one of the 'wizard' hobos pulled out a knife on me.

I grabbed the long dagger from my leather trench coat and equipped it in my hand, and threatened them "You know... there are CCTV cameras all across New York City... you shouldn't be killing anyone in the streets..." I threatened them to at least stop them from acting all tough.

"Screw you, Klei." The hobo said, laughing.

"Hahaha! You're so funny!" The other hobo said.

The girl was just watching.

I shouted at them with the same intimidating hysterical psychotic shout that could drive anyone shivering their spine.

As I give them the craziest glare ever to at least threaten them enough to shrink. Going into a Taekwondo fighting stance with my right hand holding the back handle of my knife raising up.

"Okay, okay, I'll stop. No need to fight. Just give us some money and we'll leave."

"No! I'm curious how you knew my name! I could kill you right now and get away with it the same as I pleaded insanity from court, or even the time I killed someone for self defence.

But I don't want to ruin my night by getting blood in my mouth tonight..." I shouted at them acting all crazy so much that it scares them where they regret trying to rob a genuinely clinically insane person.

Then the girl took the opportunity to run away. The guy tried to chase her but I caught him.

"Hey, wait!" He said.

I grabbed his collar and punched him on the face and said, "Why are you trying to follow that girl? And how did you know my name?!" I punched him almost to death, but left him barely alive enough to talk,

"TELL ME!!!" I grabbed the knife I dropped and put it in his neck, "If you don't talk, I will make you..."

"Because we're hobos, and we are trying to survive by begging for spare change."

"But how did you know my name was Klei? Speak! Because I'm a paranoid schizophrenic and I don't like it when I think I'm being watched or planned against."

"Oh, sorry about that. It's just a nickname, Klei."

"I'm tired of you. If someone knows my name without me telling anyone at all, especially if I'm new. I'm not letting anyone know about this...

I was about to kill you but on second thought, I promised my psychotherapist that I would change. So it's your lucky day."

I let him go and tied him up onto the railing and called 911 and explained everything to the cops for the shady things they are on. I am expecting they'd be high on drugs. I still got my 500 dollars back though.

The cops came and they listened to everything I said, especially how the hobos tried to rape the girl. I felt bad for the girl because she's so young and pretty.

"Do you want to press charges?" The cop asked.

"No, I don't want to press charges."

"Alright."

"Although, I would like to know how they knew my name despite the fact that I'm new to this city.

Can you please investigate that? Here's my number and please tell me if you have any leads on that. I have a mental disorder and I can't afford being paranoid..."

The cops told me they will look into it and they will call me once they have any leads. I thanked them and walked away from the scene.

"Have a good evening, sir." The cop greeted me and I just went back home. Feeling paranoid. I just hope I didn't hallucinate the whole thing when they called me Mister Klei. That's just some scary shit!