Existential Crisis

I finally got my contract with the New York Times to write for them. I even read it more than twice just to make sure what Devil's Deal I'm making. I'm not sure how everyone knows my name, I didn't know I'd get famous that fast when I just got here in New York City as an author.

But for sure, I'm the BEST bestselling author on WebNovel right now. And I am still getting royalties from WebNovel to this day.

I'm not sure how I got so popular. I just wrote what I felt. I don't know if my stories are even good or not.

I never thought I'd become a writer, and I never thought I'd be able to sell my books to a publishing house.

I'm just a common guy that's struggling to make ends meet. But I did it. I did it!

I also made friends in New York City. Some of them are good friends, some of them are acquaintances, and some of them are just strangers.

Then I got a call from Sharon, I haven't heard from her since I left North Carolina. I hope she's not upset, I bet she misses me. I guess she didn't go back to her home country yet because she couldn't get a visa to leave the United States.

I picked up the phone, and she told me she's living in a motel room.

"What motel room? Wait, did you follow me here in New York City?!" I was surprised and very suspicious of my intuition.

"I followed you here, Klei. I'm so glad I found you."

"But why?"

"I miss you, Klei. I want to stay with you. Please let me stay with you."

"Babe, not this again please. I have so much to work on. Stay in North Carolina. I'll just write one book, just one. That's part of the contract.

And I'll come back there in North Carolina in no time, alright? I don't like getting distracted by you when I work because in fact,

I am obsessed with you and I can't risk my mental health and being distracted by you. That contract is for a lifetime and it can only be done once it is finished.

I have multiple deadlines every month for this one book. So, please. Give me some time, alright? Go back home... please. I promise once I finish this."

"Klei, I know you're afraid. You are afraid of losing me, aren't you?"

"Yes I'm afraid of losing you, what are you on about?"

"I know you're scared of letting me go, because you're afraid of losing yourself. Don't worry. I won't get in the way of your writing. I'll be quiet and listen to you."

"You promise me? I'll let you stay with me."

"I promise. I promise. Just give me a chance, okay?"

"Alright, fine. I will give you a chance. You're my stalker, you already probably know where my address is right now."

"I do. But I will not be following you anymore. I will be staying at a motel near your place. I will wait for you to come and visit me. I promise."

"Okay. Good... good... now if you don't mind. I'll go back to work with my book."

***

I finished the entire saga, a total of five books in one series, the Writer's Reincarnations series with multiple editors to work on it with different types of editions.

The abridged one is my favourite even though it wasn't meant to portray like that in the story as I originally intended. But the rest did well on their goddamned job on editing it.

They wrote better than the AI I used to help edit my books especially with a writer's block.

I have so many readers now, I don't know how many. I think it's like 100,000+ now.

I don't know how they all found out about me. I think it's because of my fans on Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr.

And my Instagram is blowing wild. Especially my YouTube and Twitch career as a hobby rather than trying to make a living out of it.

I called an Uber to give me a ride to the New York Times and ask them if that was enough for the contract to be done and I don't have to keep writing for them anymore.

I was told to write a series and once it finishes within five million words, I don't have to do it anymore.

As soon as I arrived and asked them about it, they felt disappointed because I was their best starlet. The Prodigy of their company.

They refused to let me go despite that it wasn't part of the contract. I told them I want to take a break and maybe come back again. I missed someone dear to me. Someone I loved.

I got a call from my editor and he told me that the Editor-In-Chief of New York Times wants to meet me personally. I think I have a lot to say to him. I want to know why he chose me as the star of his company and not someone else.

I went to the office of the New York Times, and I saw the Editor-In-Chief himself. He looks really nice and handsome. I felt nervous, but I tried to talk to him and tell him everything I wanted to say.

"Hi, I'm Klei. I want to know why I was chosen as the star of your company. I want to know why you gave me a contract. I don't want to be a part of your company anymore.

I want to know what happened to my manuscript. I want to know why you called me here today. I want to know..."

"I understand. Take a seat."

I sat down in the chair across the desk of the Editor-In-Chief.

"Let me explain first. I have been reading your work for years now. I have been waiting for you to come back to New York City. I have been watching you online.

I have been searching for you everywhere. I knew that you were hiding somewhere in this country, and I was hoping that you would come here.

Your story wasn't very good to be honest, it never was. I just bribed WebNovel for you to win so they could advertise me to you as a layer of disguise so you wouldn't suspect why I would even choose you.

I wanted you here in this company not because your book was good, never was. Have you ever wondered why so many artists and celebrities weren't good at their roles but they still managed to get to the mainstream anyway?

That's the exact same thing for you. Such as those overrated music not being good enough by those hippies who say it's too overrated or it's not their taste.

It's all about the power of advertising, if people know enough about it, they will buy it. That's why they chose your book, not because it was good."

"So you're saying that my story isn't good? What do you mean?"

"Haven't you been listening? Anyone can be a star, either good or bad at what they do. The people in power randomly choose anyone they want for the role and not because of their talents.

You see many stars don't have any talents and they still get to be chosen anyway? That is the true face of the entertainment industry.

Now if you want to leave, then leave. I'm not going to stop you. But if you leave, you're not able to come back here again, and your royalties will be declined. Especially the contract you signed up for."

I sighed, "Alright... fine... I'll write, not for you, but for my fans. I know they think I'm the best at writing, no matter how you portray me inside and out of this company!"

"Look at you, a narcissist that had his ego entirely killed... How sad... now show yourself out, or I'm calling the guards from going hysterical on a psychotic breakdown."

I left the office and went back home feeling like my life has no meaning anymore, or was there even one to begin with. I had an existential crisis.

My books... my work... everything I've worked hard on, completely useless. And for what?! I flew out of rage destroying everything in my house then committed suicide by slitting my own throat.