Chapter Twenty-Eight: Escapism

Cordelia couldn't understand Tom Riddle for the life of her.

It wasn't that she didn't know why he would do such a thing, in fact, Cordelia was almost certain the kiss was just another way for Tom to ease his way into her mind and manipulate her into thinking what he felt towards her was more than just malicious intent.

The real problem was the moment it had happened.

Cordelia had always known there would come a day when Tom decided to use physical or romantic attraction to manipulate her into getting his way, however, somehow the kiss in the chamber of secrets felt like something more than that.

One could have just said it was in the heat of the moment, or because Tom felt a sudden burst of pride for her and expressed himself in the only way he thought was befitting, but the real problem was that she kissed back.

The troubled head girl had spent hours on end lying away convincing herself that it was a mere instinct, something that she did because it felt like the right thing to do, yet as the morning sun rose and the hustle and bustle of classes got the better of her, Cordelia couldn't help but doubt herself.

However, even in her fit of confusion, the blue-eyed brunette knew one thing for certain: she and Tom held no romantic feelings for each other.

The other seventh-year Slytherin girls, however, seemed to think otherwise.

"Holy Merlin, finally!"

Phyllis's excited squeal was followed by a series of shushing as the rest of the girls attempted to maintain a level of noise that would ensure they didn't awaken the entirety of Slytherin, and that no one eavesdropped on them, however, Druella and Cordelia's poor attempts to quell their friend's excitement was ruined by Aurora quipping in.

"I always knew the two of you would end up together! You're meant to be!"

"Yeah, both as crazy as the other."

Druella's words earned her a scoff from Cordelia as she sunk her back deeper against her old bed, causing their makeshift circle on the floor to widen.

"But weren't you interested in Theo?"

The sudden question had Cordelia letting out a sigh as she genuinely contemplated her answer.

Theodore Nott was everything she thought she deserved. He was smart but not awfully so, kind but with a hint of a Slytherin-esque personality, and above all, he understood her. Theo understood Cordelia more than she would have liked to admit, and the fact that he had been there for her time and time again proved that he was willing to stand by her, whether it be the Triwizard Tournament or fights with her family.

He was the only person outside of Druella and Orion who knew almost everything about her, or at least the information that wasn't directly affected by or about Tom Riddle, and was someone she had come to trust and genuinely love over the years.

Cordelia just didn't know whether she could allow that love to be romantic.

Just like most good things in her life, Theodore Nott was like a fairytale. Like a fever dream that had her convinced that she could have any semblance of a happy and content marriage, or that she could somehow convince the Notts to break their only son's contract with the Yaxleys in favour of choosing Cordelia.

He was everything she could have ever wanted, yet Cordelia knew Theodore was but another unattainable bit of happiness present in her life, like the summer fling you couldn't help but forget and move forward from once the new year began.

Except their situation was much worse, for Cordelia and Theodore had never taken the step to make their friendship a relationship.

Perhaps if she had been brave enough to do it then, Cordelia wouldn't feel a sense of regret clutch her heart as she once again sighed and gave her friends what was possibly the vaguest reply of the night.

"Honestly, I don't know."

The girls giggled at her response, making Cordelia's frown only tighten.

"You haven't had this much boy drama since Aldrich, Lia!"

She groaned at the mention of her first and only relationship, with the sound only heightening everyone's amusement and urging them to press her for more information.

"Before we continue-"

Druella turned towards her cousin as she spoke, with her gold eyes holding a familiar twinkle of mischief that made Cordelia question whether speaking to the girls was the best course of action.

"-you have to tell us everything!"

Aurora nodded along to her friend's words, even going as far as to tug on Cordelia's arm in excitement.

"I agree! You can't just say Tom Marvolo Riddle kissed you and not elaborate!"

It was then that Phyllis finally rejoined the conversation, evidently prepared to join sides with her friends and pester Cordelia until the brunette finally gave in and spilled everything. Or at least, spilled a story that was believable and full of half-truths.

"Oh, this is so exciting! We can have a sleepover and catch up on everything!"

Phyllis left no room for arguing as she and Aurora rushed towards their wardrobes, fetching any and everything they could possibly need for a night of girl talk and indulgence. The sight made the two Black witches giggle as they reached for some of the chocolate frogs scattered on the floor before them, paying no mind to their excited friends' rambles.

While Druella cast muffling charms for the night, the brunette beside her allowed herself to indulge in anxious contemplation as she genuinely considered the entire situation and the lies she would settle on for the night.

Cordelia knew escaping to the dungeons for the night wasn't the most effective way to avoid her current problems, but for now, creating physical distance between them was a matter she regarded as highly important.

After all, maybe if she avoided him enough Tom Riddle would realise that she didn't actually feel for him what their kiss in the chamber of secrets would have let on. She could have just told him face-to-face, but something told Cordelia that confessing to Tom Riddle about kissing back because it felt natural wasn't exactly the best thing to do.

Especially not when she herself wasn't certain that was the right answer.

A heavy sigh escaped her lips as Cordelia moved away from the bed and closer to the centre of their circle, choosing to rest her head on Druella's shoulder while Phyllis gathered all kinds of makeup and care products for them to experiment with for the rest of the night.

The night was going to be the long one, but even with her most trusted friends by her side, Cordelia somehow knew that she wouldn't be finding the answer she needed within those four walls. But it didn't matter. After all, a little escapism never hurt anyone.

If only she could escape the heads dorms forever, Cordelia could find a way to avoid Tom Riddle until their graduation. However, with the winter break fast approaching, something told Cordelia that avoiding the Dark Lord was just about to get all but impossible.

But then the moment passed and she was sitting up straight, sifting through various colours of nail paint with the other girls and allowing herself a moment or two to pretend Tom didn't exist.

Cordelia knew it wasn't right to run away from her problems for the night, yet she couldn't help but give in to the sweet lull of escapism. After all, with her life being all but overrun by Tom Riddle and his schemes, it was natural for her to find solace in those she treasured.

She could only hope that Tom Riddle wouldn't steal them away too.