Father came to me again to discuss my marriage proposal. Mother and Father had already prepared betrothal interviews countless of times before.
The two of them would arrange the engagement, and I would break it off.
I already lost track of how many times that cycle had been repeated.
The status of my partner had gradually gone lower, and now, my partner was the son of a viscount.
However, this time around, Father had been extremely enthusiastic about this betrothal despite the low rank of their peerage
I tried to ask the reason for his eagerness, and apparently, my partner was the proprietor and manager of Lurvan Enterprise.
A tiny bud of hope sprung in my heart when I heard that.
He surely must be a gentleman that was quite advanced in age, given that he was the proprietor of a relatively huge company.
Father would only choose a person who was suitable in terms of ability to be the successor of the House of Sevensworth
A young, capable person could take his pick among the beautiful ladies, so he would probably decline this engagement. However, it would be a different story if he was someone older. A middle-aged gentleman wouldn't have that much of an option when it comes to ladies, so perhaps, just perhaps, he wouldn't be too picky, and would agree to be with such an ugly person as me.
That was what I thought.
"You don't have to worry. He is sixteen, the same age as you. Moreover, the results of our investigation came, and he is quite the attractive lad. Girls secretly named him 'The Black Flower of Ice', and he even has a fan club from his client companies"
Mother beamed as she explained.
And so I asked more questions, and was told that he built his business from scratch when he was only ten, and he had been managing the company since then.
The Larvan Enterprise was also present in the Royal Capital, so I also knew about it.
However, I couldn't help but feel shocked when I heard that the proprietor was the same age as me.
My ten-year old self fleeted through my mind, but as expected, I couldn't imagine building my own trading company at that age.
He seemed to be a truly excellent person incomparable to such as I.
Thus, I knew that this engagement would not work out when I learned about him.
One of the prerequisites of being my fiance was the capability of being entrusted with the House of Sevensworth, so each and everyone of those potential partners were all excellent gentlemen.
However, those who were so brilliant that they were desired to be successors much more than the eldest son could grasp their status with their own hands, even without relying on the engagement with me.
Thus, not a single one of them desired to be tied to me, who was considered a female demon on top of having this rank.
That person must be the same, considering that he was very beautiful, enough to be christened as the Black Ice Flower by the ladies around him.
The Black Ice Flower was a rare plant that grew in the highlands.
Its stems and leaves were ebony, and it would bloom with a transparent blossom that looked like it was made of ice. Thus, this name was given to a person with an attractive face and figure, and they were even used along with the roses for such a person.
Since he was a person blessed with wit and features, he wouldn't choose such a hideous woman such as I.
Father told me that we would visit in person instead of just sending a letter regarding the betrothal to show our sincerity and good faith, so I was exasperated when I heard that.
Really, for a duke to go to such lengths just for a viscount — it was coercion in essence.
If we did this kind of engagement proposal that was almost like a threat, then the other party would be reluctant about this, for sure.
Actually, even if we didn't resort to such means, all the partners that had been introduced to me were opposed to it.
The moment they saw me, I could see their faces warp in despair, and they seemed to be sorely disappointed.
It would be the same this time around, I was sure.
◆◆◆◆◆
"It is an honor to meet you. I am Zhinorius, the fourth son of Viscount Adorni."
The gentleman who courteously bowed towards me didn't show a single trace of ill-will against me.
He must have matured earlier than his peers, as expected of a person who managed a business at such a young age.
He managed to impeccably hide his true thoughts.
I imagined him to be a person with a smile continuously plastered on his face when I heard that he was involved in commerce.
However, reality proved that he was actually the opposite. Lord Zhinorius rarely smiled, and he was expressionless most of the time.
Rather than a businessman, he had an aura that was akin to an engineer, and I could keenly feel how he seemed like he came from a highly intellectual profession that handled more numerical figures than a normal trader.
He had raven hair with purple eyes, and his face was cool and beautiful.
I was certain that he was popular among the ladies.
So, his air and raven hair was the source of the title of "Black Ice Flower", it seemed.
It perfectly suited him.
I thoroughly understood why he had been lionized by the women who surrounded him.
He could surely pick any girl that he wanted since he was brilliant, capable, and very handsome.
There was no doubt about it.
For this person to desire me would be like shooting for the star.
Thus, I thought that I needed to break our engagement during this occasion, for the sake of this person.
Lord Zhinorius and I engaged in small talk together with our parents after we finished with the greetings.
The Adorni family seemed to be very nervous at the start, but it was nothing new for me. This had always been the case everytime we visited the middle and lower ranked aristocrats.
Father and Mother were also used to it, so they just eased the tension through relaxed chatting and light jests.
At this point, the other gentlemen wouldn't hide their disgust any longer, and they would all refuse to talk to me.
However, Lord Zhinorius was different.
Whenever the topic involved something I totally didn't have an inkling of, such as the territory management of the Adorni fief, Lord Zhinorius would do his best to explain it. He would also strike a conversation with me whenever I ended up just listening, and he would also make sure that I would be included
He was just a sixteen year old young man, but he could already follow Father and Viscount Adorni's discussion about the fief administration without forgetting to be considerate to his surroundings. He even displayed impartiality towards such a hideous person as me.
How admirable.
He was truly a lovely gentleman.
Mother seemed to be quite taken with him, based on her attitude.
"Alright, let's leave the chitchat to the young ones, shall we."
When Father said that, everyone else rose and left the room. Only Lord Zhinorius and I remained.
"Would you like to take a stroll to the garden with me? Our garden is nothing compared to the one owned by the House of Sevensworth, but you can enjoy the magnificent flowers of Sithis, which I believe doesn't bloom in the capital."
I was shocked when Lord Zhinorius asked me that.
Until now, my partners would burst in indignation once we were left alone, even if they tried to hide it when we were in the company of our families.
It was already good if he sulked without a single word, but there were also those who would continue on a barrage of insults and hurtful words, and they would blame me for using my power to force the engagement.
They were right, so I could only apologize to them.
I couldn't believe my ears when he invited me for a stroll around the garden just so I wouldn't be bored.
Moreover, he even offered his arm to escort me.
In the past, there had been many times when they would also force us to take a stroll in the garden, just so we could be alone.
However, not once did a gentleman escort me during all those times.
The young man would walk on his own in front of me, not bothering to hide his disgruntlement, while I wordlessly chased after him.
It had been really painful to bear.
Really, he was truly splendid.
That was why I needed to break this up now.
I also wanted this person to be happy, no matter what.
Lord Zhinorius remained the same, even if we were left on our own. He kindly guided me to the places where the flowers bloomed, and he would talk about a lot of different things. He was really being considerate so that I would not feel that this was tedious.
This was the first time I enjoyed having a pre-engagement meeting.
"Lord Zhinorius. There is something I want to say to you."
I called out to Lord Zhinorius, carefully choosing my timing right when there was a pause in our conversation.
"In that case, I will have tea prepared for us in the gazebo over there. Let us continue there."
Lord Zhinorius said, and he escorted me to the gazebo and prepared some tea for us.
"I am very sorry, Lord Alexis. Father was the one who arbitrarily decided on this engagement. I will talk to Father and do something about this, so please give me some time."
I rose up and apologetically curtsied towards him.
"Are you perhaps telling me that we will cancel the engagement?"
Lord Zhinorius said that.
How weird.
Normally, they would all express relief when I said that, but contrary to that, Lord Zhinorius seemed discomfited.
"Indeed."
I declared my intention of breaking this betrothal.
"I see. Do you have someone else in your heart, perhaps?"
It was my turn to be baffled now when Lord Zhinorius said that.
Did he perhaps think that such a repulsive woman could ever hope for love?
Men would already show disgust just by talking to me.
It would be extremely difficult to fall in love with a man who treated me like I was some kind of monster, but perhaps he didn't understand a maiden's heart?
"Certainly not. There is no one like that."
I replied, intending to correct his misunderstanding.
"In that case, it really is my fault. Please pardon me for my crudeness. I am not experienced with women."
And why did you arrive at that conclusion?
Lord Zhinorius had already surpassed all the other partners in terms of excellence.
I couldn't grasp his thoughts.
"No. There's no way that is true."
"It's alright, there is no need to be so considerate. I fully understand how crude I am when it comes to women. If you don't mind, can you please point out my issues and problems for me? I want to understand my shortcomings."
"No, you are truly an outstanding person. Oh dear, why on earth did you arrive at such a conclusion?"
I didn't understand.
Oh, now that I thought about it, he did say that he had been very busy with his business, so he didn't have any relationship of love with other women.
I thought it was just lip service because of how charming he was, but don't tell me it was really true?
If a person wasn't really confident about herself, then she might probably think it was the truth.
"It might sound presumptuous coming from me, but my parents love me very deeply. If the time comes that Lord Zhinorius falls for another woman, my parents will do everything in their power to ruin you. Mother, in particular, is the younger sister of His Majesty, and he dotes on her extremely, enough for him to turn into a totally different man just for her sake. His Majesty will be furious if she comes running to him in tears.
"Mother's power is absolute. If in case they don't immediately ruin you when you have an affair with another woman, they will do so after turning the tables against your parents.
My mother's influence will not cease until the time His Majesty abdicates, so it will continue on for twenty years, at the very least."
I didn't really want to talk as if I was bragging about our family, but it couldn't be helped.
I showed him the power of our House, so that he would understand how hopeless the future would be.
"Ahm, pardon me, but why are you saying these things? I don't have the slightest inclination of having an affair."
Oh my.
So this person was also a faithful one.
He was truly magnificent.
We couldn't see eye to eye since earlier, but I was already drawn to Lord Zhinorius's charm the more we talked.
"Then all the more reason for you not to be engaged to me. Father told me that you are a clever man. I can attest to that fact, now that I met you personally today . You have an excellent appearance and are skillful with conversations. I can see how attentive you are. You are a very kind person. If having an affair didn't even cross your mind, then Lord Zhinorius, you truly are such a gem, and many women will definitely be attracted to you. So it would be a tragedy if you have to be tied to someone like me."
"Pardon my rudeness, I am aware that it might be something very difficult to discuss, but Lady Anastasia, do you have any problems that you are carrying right now? If it's alright with you, maybe I can help with it."
I was actually troubled when he told me these.
Don't tell me he didn't see my appearance?
To begin with, why did he reply in such a way towards my explanation?
I couldn't help but laugh, because of the absurdity of it all. It was funny that we weren't on the same page.
And he even offered to help me, despite meeting me for the first time today.
It was impossible that he had been captivated by my womanly charms, so he must be truly a kind person through and through.
"As for my problem, I am referring to my appearance. This unsightly appearance is detestable and it will be such a pity to be tied to me, don't you think? Moreover, my parents hold tremendous power, so the groom could never turn to another woman. Only a miserable fate awaits the person who would marry me, if we think from the side of the man who will become my partner."
"Perhaps…you are thinking that you will not be happy in marriage?"
I was stupefied yet again because of Lord Zhinorius' unexpected question.
See, men were repulsed whenever they saw my revolting appearance.
That was the reason why I couldn't find a marriage partner until now.
Nobody even asked me regarding happiness in being a bride.
"Happiness in marriage…is it. I never thought of that. I look like this, so I already gave up on being married long ago."
Lord Zhinorius looked thunderstruck when I said that, as if he just received such a heavy blow.
Was my answer that weird?
"…Please do not give up."
"Eh?"
"Please do not give up! So what if the face is ugly!? The structure is just different from other people, isn't it? So why do you have to give everything up just because of that face!?
Don't give up!
Don't give up on being happy!
YOU CAN ALSO BE HAPPY!
IT'S ALSO OKAY FOR YOU TO DREAM OF BEING HAPPY!!!
THAT'S WHY DON'T SMILE LIKE THAT, AS IF YOU ALREADY GAVE UP!
YOUR LIFE'S JUST ABOUT TO START NOW, GOT IT!"
Lord Zhinorius jumped to his feet and he strode towards me. He then grabbed my shoulders, and tears springing up in his eyes.
Lamentation of the Soul
Those words floated to my mind.
It was like the wailing of a soldier who had been captured by the enemy nation and tortured as a slave for a long time, expressing his agony in order to protect his human soul.
Those words were extremely heavy, and their weight reflected the anguish that he had endured for decades on end.
Of course, Lord Zhinorius was only sixteen years old, and he was the son of a viscount.
There was no way he would experience such things.
However, the words he released sounded as if they were the cries welling up from the bottom of his heart, as if it came from someone who had been tormented by pain for most of his life, and they had an immense weight that a girl like me could not easily refute.
Giving up
Indeed, that was right.
I had long given up any semblance of marriage with a man and being filled with happiness
"I want you to let me be the instrument to bring happiness in your entire life."
Lord Zhinorius suddenly knelt down and kissed the back of my hand.
(!!!!!!)
This!!
This was the etiquette for when a person would propose!
I couldn't help but feel extremely shaken at the prospect of receiving a proposal from a gentleman.
No. There's no way it would happen.
I was jumping to conclusions.
As if, there's no way a gentleman would propose to me!
That was absolutely impossible!!
"Marry me. I promise that I will make you happy. So don't give up on your own happiness."
(!!!!!!)
No way… I wasn't mistaken?
The cool-faced Lord Zhinorius turned his scorchingly hot gaze towards me.
His purple eyes seemed to burn with fire, and I could feel the heat creeping towards my face. I couldn't tear my eyes off his.
"...Ye...yes...."
The intense heat of his beautiful eyes swallowed me up, so I got carried away and ended up giving that 'yes'.
"Thank you."
Lord Zhinorius' smile was dazzling as he beamed at me.
It was the first time I saw him that happy since the first time we met, and its brilliance melted my heart.
(Ehhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!)
Lord Zhinorius rose to his feet and he hugged me with that same fluid motion. It was my first time to be embraced by a gentleman.
I was thoroughly flustered. I didn't know what to do, so I just stood frozen and rooted to the spot.
I heard someone clearing his throat, so I turned around, and the scene of both our parents, guards and servants greeted me — everyone was there staring at us.
Each and everyone saw the proposal, and they also saw me being embraced.
Fire burned in my cheeks.....
"Well, well. Isn't it fine? Even Ana is really glad to be so passionately courted."
Oh Mother.
Please do stop talking like that.
I was so mortified that it felt like I would die.