Faith

I thought this was real. I felt normal, nothing felt off, but I heard a voice. I couldn't make out what it said, because it was quiet, a faint whisper. I thought I was still in a dream, but I knew I wasn't. Days passed and I never woke up. This was no dream. But I heard the voice everyday. I can never make out what it says, and it only comes around once a day, usually in the morning. It's like a person lives within my head, whispering to me.

I haven't had a dream in a couple days. I'm glad though. I don't remember my last one, but I distinctly remember the absolute terror. But I think it really shook me. I haven't gone out in days. I usually just watch over everything from the safety of my home. But is it really that safe anymore? Will staying in my house really protect me from nightmares, or from whoever is whispering to me?

I put my head down onto my dinner table, defeated. It's been a crazy week. I was told I was going to be killed by my brother, I'm hearing a voice. Nothing is going right anymore. Even my habits have been broken for the first time in 10 years! Where did it all go wrong? Well actually... I think I have a good idea of where it went wrong. But what's the point in wondering that? I have to fix this.

Suddenly I heard something outside. I saw a black carriage. They're here? Why? "Come hanno scoperto?" I asked myself.

I walked outside, my knife stuffed in my back-pocket. A man hopped down. He grabbed something from the back of his carriage and held it up. He had a deer pelt. Phew, that was a close call. I waved to Antonio as he came over to me. He walked up the porch with the pelt.

"Looks like you forgot something." He said.

"Ha ha, nah, I've been a little busy. I was gonna get it eventually." I lied. I was actually too scared to go back to the city.

He looked at the fence on my porch strangely. "Been smoking?" He asked, pointing to ashes on the fence.

"No, but I ought to." I responded truthfully, but he didn't understand.

"Well anyways, that'll be 35 phila." He told me.

I went inside and got the money. When I came back outside I gave him the phila, and took the pelt. I waved him goodbye and went back inside. I dropped the pelt on the floor next to the door. I returned to my table and sat with my hands on my face.

"What's got you so down?" I looked up to see the Phoenix standing on the other end of the table.

"Surprised to see me?" It asked. I said nothing. I only stood and grabbed the knife from my back pocket. "Ha ha!" The bird laughed. "What do you plan to do?" As soon as it said that, I stabbed it. I let go of the knife due to the heat, but I got it. The Phoenix collapsed as the flame died out. It took one last look at me, before turning to ash.

"Liar..." I said under my breath. I then turned to my counter just to see it again.

"HA HA HA HA!" It laughed hysterically. "You really thought you killed me! What a joke!"

I looked at it, and then back to the ashes in confusion. "How did you come back from that?"

"Listen here buddy" It continued. "I'm literally a bird that's on fire and that can turn to ash on command. What did you expect?"

"I don't know!" I replied. "I expected you to disappear for good!"

"And why would you want that?"

"Because you lied!"

"About what?"

"You lied about my brother wanting to kill me!"

"And tell me, have you gone to see your brother ever since I told you about your fate?" I looked down, not wanting to admit I was still a little afraid to see him. "Hmm, that's what I thought." It said matter-of-factly.

"Go ahead and see him," it said. I do like a good show!"

"Very funny." I said. "You know what maybe I will."

"Great! I'll be watching!" The Phoenix turned to ashes once again, and didn't come back. I sat back down and looked across the table, at my knife.

"Maybe I should bring it after all."

I woke up the next morning and got ready. The I hadn't heard the voice, but something told me I'd hear it sometime today. I packed my carriage and got moving.

Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Why am I afraid of my brother? Should I be doing this? All these intrusive thoughts invaded my mind. I stopped my carriage. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea" I thought to myself.

"Oh come on!"

I'm finally starting to recognized that voice. I looked up to see the Phoenix perched on a fence. He looked disappointed.

"Cold feet?" He asked.

"No!" I retaliated. "I just forgot something!"

"Here I was thinking you were a good liar!" The Phoenix said giggling. "That's fine, you can go back if you want. There isn't much I can do to force you."

I felt insulted. This insolent bird was disrespecting me. "I'll be off now." I said taking off towards the city. I put on an act, pretending I was confident.

I suddenly felt something hot on my elbow. I looked to see the Phoenix sitting next to me, and my elbow was on fire.

"AGH!" I yelled as I smacked the fire, putting it out. "What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Aw man, I just wanted to ride with ya." The Phoenix confessed, whilst giving me a sad look.

"No you can't ride with me! You've got wings!"

"It's windy out though! I can me extinguished!"

"So?!"

We argued, but I eventually gave in. "Fine you can ride with me, but you gatta sit in the back."

"But this is where you keep all you're weapons and dead animals!" The Phoenix pouted.

"Yeah well I don't want to catch on fire."

I finally got moving again. There was silence for a moment, but it was broken by, of course, the Phoenix.

"Hey Lance-"

"How do you know my name?"

"Shh, I have a question." It continued. "Do you believe in heaven?

"What? Is this your attempt to scare me?"

"Ha ha, no. I'm serious, do you believe in it?"

"Not particularly."

"So when you die, what happens?"

I had to think for a moment. What happens when I die? That's a hard question. I've never really taken the time to think about it. But I thought about it for the first time. Non-existence? Eternal darkness? The further down the rabbit hole I went, the more that familiar weight on my heart pushed.

"I don't know." I finally said, not wanting to think about it anymore. "What do you think happens?"

"Well, I don't know either, nor will I ever know." It responded. "My kind never dies. I'll live until the end of time. I'll never experience death."

I kept my eyes on the path ahead of me. "What a boring existence." I thought.

"Y'know, faith is a beautiful thing. But not everyone gets to have it." The Phoenix said solemnly.

His words played on repeat in my head, but one word stuck with me. Faith.