Chapter 9

“You okay?”

My head lurched upwards toward Jessica’s concerned expression. It hadn’t occurred to me that I had been staring out the window, deep in thought, as Jessica was talking about her party preparations for tonight.

“Yeah, sorry, I must’ve zoned out for a minute,” I answered, trying to direct my attention to Jessica. It was rude to zone out like that, so I tried to focus on what she was saying.

Frankly, I didn’t care about the party. I didn’t like to drink. I didn’t like crowds. I was dreading it and debating whether or not I should even go. As I watched Jessica’s face light up as she talked about it, I knew that she was so excited. It didn’t really matter if I didn’t want to go. Jessica wanted me to be there, so I’d be there. Simple.

She talked about decorations, drinks, and what she was planning on wearing. I must’ve missed the part where she told me that she was picking out my outfit too. It was fine. She was a fashion major. I’ll let her dress me up.

I kept her company at the sorority house while her sorority sisters and her set up the decorations. To my knowledge, all the frat houses nearby were invited, and this was the talk of the social circle.

Jessica told me that they were cracking down on underage drinking and checking ID at the door so the sorority would stay in good standing. That made me feel a lot better. It’s already too difficult to keep the upperclassmen safe at a party, much less a bunch of teens.

“Do you guys need help with anything?” I asked, feeling awkward just sitting around while all these other people were busy setting up.

Jessica shot me a smile. “We’re good, Astrid! I’ll let you know,” she said reassuringly.

“Okay, I’ll just be over here,” I mused, walking over to a windowseat and cracking open a book that I brought with me. This time it was a book on various French cooking techniques like a sous vide or how to make a classic beurre blanc. I really enjoyed learning new methods of preparing food. The possibilities were endless.

Maybe I’d be able to put my skills to good use when I visited mi familia that week. I just knew that I’d be in the kitchen preparing tortillas with mi mama while we caught up. She’s might even make me some tamales! Typically saved for Christmas, but visiting family was also a special occasion.

Just thinking about mi mama’s cooking was enough to make my mouth water. I could even teach her this new technique I learned for braising beef.

I’d like to really make something special for my friends too. I knew Jessica and James liked my cooking, but I wondered if Rowan would. Come to think of it, I didn’t think I’d ever seen him eat anything. I pondered what he liked. Bacon-wrapped chicken? Spaghetti and meatballs?

What if he was a vegetarian? I think I could probably make a mean ratatouille or eggplant parmesan.

Why was I thinking about him again?

He was swimming in my thoughts, and I couldn’t seem to get him out. I thought about how his shoulders would bunch up whenever I was nearby and how his lips would curve to the side after I said something amusing. I had the urge to talk to him, look at him.

Okay, stare at him. I stare a lot.

Not that it really mattered too much. I didn’t even have his phone number. I might be reading too much into it. What if he didn’t even like me? My history in relationships tended to be one-sided. The other side always seemed to use it to their advantage, keeping me around for their own pleasure, not because they actually cared about me. I ended up getting hurt.

I was not ready for that. Even if Rowan wasn’t like Marco at all, I had to prepare for the worst. Prepare for the pain. Prepare to fight.

Thinking about Marco was enough to sour my mood. My heart squeezed like a vise in my chest when I imagined getting hurt like that by someone I was beginning to really like. The big difference is that I wasn’t going to run away this time.

“Hey! Astrid, mind giving me a hand?” Jessica asked from the stairwell.

I jumped up from my seat, closing my book and placing it next to my bag.

“What do you need?” I asked as I walked over to her. She was placing a banner across the top of the stairs.

“Help me with the other side? The girls left to help with the kegger. I don’t want randos sneaking into their rooms,” Jessica said. I nodded and helped her secure the banner to the other side of the railing.

The sign read: “KAT Sisters ONLY.”

“That’s a good idea,” I agreed. “No one needs to go up there anyways.”

The ground floor was huge, with a large backyard and deck. I knew from Jessica that the den mother was pretty strict when it came to people visiting in the upper level anyways.

Jessica seemed pleased with the signs and looked around at the now decorated house. She pulled out her phone to check the time. “Nice. We still have time to get ready. Come on, I can’t wait to get you all dressed up.”

Like I said earlier, I must have missed that part. But she seemed too excited to decline, so I hesitantly agreed. She clapped her hands together and we walked back to our dorm.

“So is James coming tonight?” I asked.

“Actually, he had some last minute family plans come up, so he left this morning. Looks like it’s just you and me,” Jessica answered.

“You sound disappointed,” I observed.

“A little, but I get it. I mean, we’re flying back to Texas on Monday,” Jessica mused. “How about you? You invite Rowan?”

“Yeah, but I doubt he’ll come.”

“Oh, he’ll be there, especially after I get you all dolled up,” Jessica teased as we got to our dorm room.

I was very clearly displeased with Jessica’s decision to ‘doll me up,’ but I’ll let her have her fun. Rowan didn’t seem too thrilled by the prospect of a party, so he’ll probably just be working on his paper or something.

Jessica wasted no time in throwing open my closet. She hummed under her breath, and I sat on my bed, waiting to shoot down any outfit she picked for me. I decided to go over to my dresser and put in my contacts.

The contacts clearly had other plans because they slipped out of my hands and spilled onto my carpet. “Oh, cr*p,” I muttered.

“What?” Jessica asked from my closet.

“Dropped my contacts,” I replied, scooping them off the floor to wash them. I wouldn’t be able to wear them tonight though.

“Just wear your glasses, babe. They’re cute,” Jessica said.

I slid my glasses back onto my nose. I’d rather wear glasses than be blind.

Jessica was still humming, deep in thought. “None of your clothes scream party to me.” She stepped over to her side of the closet.

No. No. No.

“I’m not wearing your clothes, Jessica. They don’t fit me!” I complained.

Jessica picked out a cute dress, even though I would never actually say that, because I’d much rather just complain. She lifted it so she would see how it would look on me. “Oh, it’ll fit.” Jessica confidently handed me the dress.

The dress itself wasn’t too loud or short. It was one of Jessica’s more modest pieces, even though it was still a little low cut. I looked over at Jessica and narrowed my eyes. “Fine.”

I couldn’t complain once I put it on. Jessica had a good eye; I’ll give her that. It was a pretty navy blue, and it would look really good with my baby blue cardigan that my abuela knit for me. I looked at myself in the mirror and actually felt good about myself for the first time in a while.

It hugged my hips, and even if it was a little low cut, it didn’t seem like too much. I still wore my cardigan over it. I picked out my silver cross necklace that my papa gave me and wore it proudly. It was a little hidden under the cardigan, but I liked the ensemble.

Jessica was wearing something with a lot more flair and she looked really good. She grabbed some shoes. “I’m not a monster, I won’t make you wear any heels, but these booties will match.”

I slipped on the shoes and was pretty happy about the comfortable but cute outfit. Jessica did know me pretty well and would never put me in anything that I was uncomfortable in. “I don’t know why I doubt you,” I teased.

Jessica gave me a genuine smile and looked up at my hair. My curls were tied into a messy bun because I didn’t feel like breaking a hairbrush today. “Can I do your hair? We still have some time,” Jessica asked.

I nodded and pulled it out of the scrunchie. I had recently washed it, but it was still a tangled mass on top of my head. I sat down at a chair by our desk and Jessica got to work.

“I’ve been waiting for my chance to dive into your hair. Mi mama gifted me with straight hair, but I would love to have your curls,” Jessica admitted.

She would frequently do my younger sibling’s hair. It was always a really nice bonding experience. I hated my hair. It was always tangled and really hard to deal with. “Are you serious? I wish my hair was straight.”

Jessica paused and thought for a moment. “Astrid, look into the mirror in front of you.” I did. “What do you see?”

“I see a mess,” I admitted.

“Well, I see an opportunity. I see gorgeous locks and gentle eyes. You’ve always been beautiful, Astrid. You just need to see it,” Jessica told me.

I blushed and looked ahead at the mirror, trying to see what she saw in me. She combed my hair gently with leave-in conditioner, diffused it with her hairdryer to protect the curl. When she was done, she easily combed her fingers through with mousse.

My mass of curly hair didn’t seem so overwhelming anymore. It looked so nice, falling past my shoulders freely. Thick and luxurious. I almost didn’t even think it was mine.

“What do you think?” Jessica asked.

“Are you sure this is my hair?” I asked teasingly. “So, what’s next, a makeover?”

Jessica gave me a wink. “You don’t need it. You ready?”

I nodded and bit the corner of my bottom lip. “Yeah, let’s get going!”