Meeting again (10)

A warm voice woke him up from those nightmares. That voice was calling his name. It was familiar to his ears and close to his heart and yet his brain couldn't recall who was the owner of that voice. Gabs's eyes fluttered open but it was blurry. He blinked few times to adjust his eyesight and then he saw a blank faced with an attractive yet lifeless dark eyes.

His memory box was triggered by these dead eyes but only flashes of vague memories popped into his mind. Someone had told him that he's got a rusty memories in his head but this time he felt his chest tightening at the thought of unable to recall those forgotten memories. He felt like he had missed very important memories but no matter how hard he racked his brain it was just useless.

"What do you think of life?" He blurted it out in the moment of nervousness. He was scared to see this person's dead eyes glistening a flash of hope but when he turned her down, that hope went away as fast as it came.

He continued acting shamelessly. That was he coped with this pent-up anxiety within him as if those words that came from his mouth would also carry away these indescribable tension. Some people thought that he spoke nonsense but it wasn't entirely wrong. He spoke what he saw in a subtle way as to not frighten anyone. But people would just brushed him off.

These two lifeless eyes in front of him now had just saved him from those endless nightmares so he just wanted to repay her back by telling her the look she's got in her eyes. But he must have frighten her with his words right? She glared at him ferociously so she must be upset with him.

But staring into her eyes lead to many chaotic thoughts came into his mind. They were messed up but he believed those were important so he anxiously wrote them down in case he might forget them later. Although he was busy scribbling, he still briefly peeked at her to check out her reaction and then he noticed the dry blood on her knuckles.

That blood...how did she get hurt? It must be painful. It reminded him of those times he got bruised. Often he convinced himself that he was fine with those bruises but the truth hurt. He was in pain but if he openly admit the pain, it would only become worse. That was he thought.

So this woman....she also must be suffering but he shouldn't point out somebody's pain because he hated when people did that to him. So he just offered his handkerchief with the hope that it would comfort her in any way possible.

But when she walked away with that fierce gaze, he felt lost. Who was she actually? The one that his brain couldn't recall. Why did he mind her reaction? Why he felt this nervousness around her? Why he was concerned over those lifeless eyes? Why this cold face...Gabs was certain at this point that he had forgotten something that was very important to him...and to her as well.

Gabs leaned against the pillar and closed his eyes But he wasn't sleeping. In that darkness, that cold face emerged again and Gabs could outline every facial features of her in his head. That soulless almond shaped eyes...flat eyebrows...diamond face...sharp nose...thin lips...few faint freckles on her cheeks...fair skin... brown shoulder length hair. How could he forget her?

"Gabs?" Someone was calling him again but it wasn't her. He wished to hear her warm voice again.

"Gabs." Ryan nudged him again. No choice, Gabs drowsily opened his eyes but felt slightly disappointed when he didn't see her face alongside Ryan. Gabs debated whether he should ask Ryan about her but he was hesitant. Something was holding him back from mentioning her.

"Let's go. Tomorrow we can come here if you want." said Ryan. He was very patient with Gabs. Ryan had been accommodating to all Gabs's demands ever since they found him three months ago. Ryan would treat to all the food he wanted and go to every places he missed going. It was all because Ryan couldn't let go of the guilt for not rescuing him much earlier. Gabs could see how much Ryan tormented himself over and over again.

Gabs desperately wanted to hug Ryan, told Ryan that it was fine and time to let go the past but Gabs was also traumatically affected by this incident. So how could he comfort someone when he, himself, yet to recover from these nightmares and pains?

He used to be a great profiler. His deduction skill was incredible and he significantly contributed to Black Eagle's growth over those years. But now he felt powerless and worthless. He could not see himself shining again although he often claimed that he was the greatest profiler. He joked around with his brothers as if this traumatic episode was nothing.

He knew that his brothers had been wanting to know what had happened to him, how did he go missing and lose those 5 years memories. But he refused to relive those horrific and terrible moments. He miserably wanted to forget all of those nightmares so he didn't want to mention them at all. Let bygones be bygones. It was easy to say but never easy to actually make it happen.

Gabs just hummed to Ryan as he stood up and carried all his stuff in his arm. The notebook was important to him. It was like a diary to him, a place for him to confide his dark thoughts and nightmares. So it was very private to him and he didn't let anyone touching it or even reading whatever he wrote there. Gabs became more timid and hardly opened up to his brothers including Ryan.

Both of them headed towards the car which Ryan parked a bit far from the pavilion and went back to where Black Eagle's main hang out was located. Their leader was waiting for Gabs and Ryan as of this time. They just received a great intel from their network and they had to work on it as fast as possible. It was showtime!