Destined X to X Fail

'Its okay, you got this. Your dumbass even watched food wars for the plot and not the softcore erotica. Not to mention all the slice-of-life animes about restaurants I have watched definitely translate to cooking skills… yeah I am fucked arent I? I mean I know how to grill some foods but that's all…' as I started to sweat while looking at my cooking station I looked around to see what others were doing.

'Leorio just made a ball of rice and a few different vegetables before stabbing it full of different assorted fish… Yeah, he will not be passing with that huh?' continuing to circle around my eyes landed on Kurapika's cooking station

'It looks like he is observing the dishes of other contestants like me while also paying attention to rejected contestants. I wasn't listening before but it seems Menchi is giving at least some feedback on rejected dishes… Ha! That guy just turned in a rice ball, how did he manage to confuse it?' Continuing to look at what my friends were doing I saw both Gon, and Killua doing essentially the same as Leorio.

'Looks like Killua left out any vegetables… I guess he is a picky eater? And Gon looks the most promising of the group so far…'

"Well, I guess it's time to get started…" I spoke my thoughts aloud as I began my cooking process. I first started by washing my hands at the sink and then preparing my workstation, I know it was not the best thing to cross-contaminate with the meat so I made sure to separate everything on my work surface. Preparing the fish was going to be difficult as I never really had experience doing it, all I knew was that you used that one flexible knife to fillet the fish. After I struggled to get the meat off of the fish I had I ended up with 3 cuts of meat from two different fishes. I started with three fish as Gon ended up taking 15 medium to small fish out of the lake, the first I completely butchered…

'I would say I am sorry for butchering that fish but… after a late-night blind Subnautica playthrough via recommendation of a friend I despise all aquatic life' Finally succeeding halfway through the second fish I ended up with said three cuts of fish meat. Washing my hands yet again I move over to the prepared container of rice. Opening the wooden lid and taking out a handful of its contents I began to form the sticky rice into a small bed for the following ingredients to lay on.

'If memory serves right the spices or seasoning goes in between the rice and meat… though I don't know much about plants and spices in this world besides the common ones that were in my old world… I guess this guy will do!' I spoke in my mind as I reached for an oddly colored plant I collected in our earlier forest visit. Laying a few leaves onto the rice I then move to place my nicest looking cut of meat on top. Stepping back to look at my handiwork I saw something that resembled sushi from my past life.

"Huh, that actually wasn't that bad… Maybe I should try to cook more?" I once again voiced my thoughts. Looking around I saw all my friends grouped together with dejected looks on their faces.

"The same as Leorio… was my cooking that bad?" Kurapika groaned in great anguish

"And why the hell is that such a bad thing!?" was all Leorio could exclaim in response to Kurapika

"Hmm? Did you guys all fail to make sushi? I thought at least one or two of you guys could do it no?" I say with a small smirk on my face

"Hoh? And what are you going to do old man? I doubt you will be able to make anything edible" Killua countered, being annoyed that his 'fun outing away from home' wasn't going well

"Well I actually made something that looks like sushi so… I don't know pass?"

"Tch!" and that quickly shut Killua up

"Well, off I go, wish me luck guys!" I said before picking up my dish, which had a lid over it for the "dramatic reveal." As I approached Menchi she had a bored and slightly angry look on her face. I assume the dishes before have not been up to her standards… oh well, here goes.

"I'm here to present my dish" as I set down my plate and took off the lid to show my dish to Menchi

"Huh, something that at least looks like Sushi," she said as she took her chopsticks and prodded and look at my dish. Though after further scrutinizing my dish a frown formed on her face

'Fuck. I am out, aren't I? Probably should not have talked so much shit before leaving…' I thought as my eyes were covered in shadow in a rather bizarre manner

"...pid?" Menchi quietly spoke, even I didn't hear her and I'm directly in front of her.

"Uh did you say something? I didn't hear you?"

"I SAID ARE YOU STUPID? I was finally looking forward to eating something that resembled sushi and you go and ruin it by putting on Kukan'yu Snakeroot, a commonly known poisonous plant in the area you DUMBASS! Consider yourself disqualified" She shouted in outrage as she mercilessly tore into me as she picked apart my dish in front of the rest of the contestants.

"In my defense, I'm not local to this area…" I weakly replied in shame, I mean how the hell was I supposed to know that that plant was poisonous? I mean yeah I probably should have run them by our resident aspiring doctor or assassin… okay yeah it's my fault.

*Snicker* even with my back facing the crowd I already knew who it was who was laughing at me. As I turned around to make the walk of shame back to my cooking station I was met with the smug faces of Killua and Leorio who were trying their hardest not to laugh at me.

"Hey Magen-" Leorio began to speak

"Go fuck yourself shitty four eyes." I tersely cut him off as I crossed my arms and looked in the opposite direction of them.