Chapter 6 : Sorry Saturnus, Sorry

"Which question is Saturnus?" asked Lea confused. The feeling that all the questions Saturnus had asked her had been answered quickly earlier.

"That was Lea. That one just now," said Saturnus with exasperation from across the phone.

"Ha? Which one is Saturnus? Just name it!" replied Lea seemed not to remember at all. Her tone sounded confused.

"Oh Lea, you're only in grade XI high school, are you getting senile?" asked Saturnus shaking his head. He unconsciously shook his head and smiled faintly. Even though Lea couldn't see it, could she?

"Hehehe... Yes, Saturnus. When Saturnus is near, my brain goes blank. Saturnus always makes me happy." Lea said shyly and patted her head lightly. What did she say just now? She is very stupid. How could she be that honest with Saturnus, now Saturn I'll feel for her for sure? Not! What should she do now?

"How can it be blank? What have I done to make you happy like that?" asked Saturnus trying to lure Lea. He was very curious about Lea from the beginning, but he didn't want to admit it all. Saturnus doesn't want to be labeled as liking Lea back. Let people see that it was Lea who was always after him.

"Lea also doesn't know Saturnus, why can Lea always go blank when she's near Saturnus, even though now she's only on the phone? It's simple Saturnus, Saturnus just wants to talk to Lea, Lea is already very happy and happy, like now for example." Lea said in a happy voice. As if she is the happiest woman in this world. Lea likes Saturnus, Lea loves Saturnus.

"That means you're nervous when you're near me, that's why you're blank... You can't just get used to it, Lea?" Saturnus asked again and swallowed his smile. This was the first time he had found a woman like Lea, to be honest with Lea. If only he could return Lea's feelings, surely he could make Lea not sad anymore. He was sure of it. But he couldn't as if something was preventing him from returning Lea's feelings, but what?

"You can't, Saturnus. Lea doesn't want Lea to do that. Lea suddenly becomes like that, everything happens without Saturnus being able to prevent her. I'm sorry..." Lea replied with a bit of regret. She feels sad when she cannot fulfill what Saturn wants. She felt useless. She was afraid that Saturnus would be angry with her, that was all she was afraid of.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Lea, why do you have to apologize so quickly?" asked Saturnus in surprise. Lea felt guilty very quickly, even though for him Lea was not at all wrong. Is Lea like this to everyone? Or is Lea just like this to himself? He feels lucky to be loved by a woman as sincere as Lea. But stupidly he wasted it.

"Lea feels sad when Lea can't fulfill Saturnus's wishes. Lea has tried not to be nervous when facing face to face or talking on the phone like this with Saturnus, but Lea can't. No matter how hard Lea tries, Lea still can't. Lea also doesn't understand herself, Lea... How come Lea is like this?" Lea asked in an irritated tone, blaming herself. Lea hit her head as an outlet for her frustration. She was really sad when she couldn't do what Saturnus wanted.

"Lea isn't wrong. Maybe it all just takes time, Lea. Stop blaming yourself, I don't like you like that." Saturnus warned in a gentle tone. Saturnus didn't know why he could talk softly to Lea, what was clear was that he didn't want to give Lea a new wound. Because just rejecting Lea, would hurt Lea. He didn't want to look even worse.

"Sorry Saturnus, sorry..." Lea said in a bitter voice. Her eyes filled with tears wanting to cry. She quickly raised her head so the tears wouldn't fall. She wanted to hold back the tears in her eyes. She immediately wiped her tears gently. No, Lea has to be strong, she has to! Saturnus won't like Lea if Lea is a crybaby, she said encouraging herself in her heart.

"I told you it's not your fault Lea. Why do you have to apologize to me all the time? Stop apologizing. I'm not angry with you, for me, it's not that easy to get angry Lea." Saturnus said feeling a little uneasy. Why was Lea so afraid of him like this? How much did he mean to Lea? How scared would Lea be if he was angry? He could not stop thinking, why there is a woman like this Lea?

"Yes Saturnus, thanks for understanding me," said Lea smiling again, of course, Saturnus couldn't see her smile. She couldn't wait to get to school and meet Saturnus at school. Saturnus sure looks handsome. Saturnus is always handsome, every day.

"You're welcome, Lea. Thank you for putting up with my character, thank you for fighting so far to chase me. I hope that one day my heart can melt for you." said Saturnus with a tone of regret. Saturnus felt like the worst person on earth because he always rejected Lea, hurt Lea, and made Lea cry. Therefore he wanted to fix it from now on. Even though he couldn't accept Lea, at least Lea didn't cry anymore because of him.

"It's okay Saturnus if you can't. Don't force it, Lea doesn't force Saturnus to like Lea too. Lea doesn't want Saturn to have to accept Lea, just like this, Lea is already happy. Being a close friend of Saturnus, whom Saturnus trusts, has made her Lea so happy." Lea said with a small smile. It is appropriate for him to speak like this. It's okay if she can't be with Saturnus, until whenever she will never regret loving Saturnus. She just wants Saturnus to be happy with his choice of the heart because for her Saturn'uss happiness is everything. If Saturnus is happy, Lea will also be happy. Even though Lea knows that Saturnus's happiness is not in her.

"Your heart is really sincere Lea. For some reason, I feel I don't deserve the love you give me. I feel that I am very mean to you. You should hate me, instead of liking me even more. Don't you realize that I've been mean to you all this time?" asked Saturnus shaking his head briefly, he couldn't stop thinking about Lea, how could there be a woman as patient as Lea in his life?

"Saturnus deserves it, only Saturnus deserves it. Saturnus has never been mean to Lea, never has been Saturnus at all, Saturnus doesn't say that Saturnus is not evil, but for Lea, Saturnus is good to Lea. Lea can't hate Saturnus, How can Lea hate a man that Lea likes? Whatever Saturnus does, Lea will never hate Saturnus." said Lea from across there, Lea's voice sounded sad. Indeed... Lea was indeed sad, sad because she always had high hopes for Saturnus. Even though Saturnus didn't want to give her more hope.