Chapter 38: Truth of the Deep

Loren POV

I spent the next few days in meditation, flooding my body with pure mana and allowing it to flow deep within my soul.

Lilith had been right; everytime I pulled it back from the depths all I felt was my own doubt, and the magic took the shape of that doubt. It was dark, and while powerful, made me feel nothing but anger and hate towards myself.

I felt no light that she described to be within a Child of Roses, the power that was claimed to be able to kill the most powerful supernatural creatures to ever walk the Earth. I began to doubt that I even had this power in me.

More doubt.

The more I doubted myself, the more I failed. The more I failed, the more I doubted myself.

“I can’t do this, Lilith,” I said in frustration one evening, “All that the Deep Magic brings out of me is more darkness, proving that there’s nothing special about me at all. Perhaps it is better if I die and someone else takes my place.”