Anatu desperately concentrated on looking calm and in control. When Balthazar had asked her why she'd volunteered, she'd said, "I want to be a person. A person would make decisions, volunteer for a job like this." At the time she'd thought it would make her braver, give her redemption for her failures. But she didn't feel braver or redeemed standing next to the human male who was so large, he could be a cyborg.
Balthazar had said, "You have nothing to be ashamed of, Anatu. When we escaped, you didn't know anything but the inside of that house."
"Yes, General," she said, but she would always be ashamed of the fact that Balthazar had to come and get her because she'd been too scared to leave that house. That delay had caused the death of two cyborgs.