CHAPTER 9 : From Father, To Son

"Your condition has improved.  So you don't have to stay overnight.  But if you want to stay overnight it's also not a problem.  At the very least, call your guardian first, okay?"

 A doctor smiled kindly.  Successful young man with a stethoscope around his neck.

 "Yes Doctor, thank you!"

 In response, Dean also carved the same smile.  While busy re-buttoning his top which had been opened due to a brief inspection earlier.

 "Since it's late, you should call your parents.  Especially this little girl here."  said the doctor, turning around.  Precisely to the young girl standing by his side.

 "Yes Doctor."  Amel – the young girl, smiled and nodded.

 Before they could speak further, the three of them were turned around by a knock on the door.  There a beautiful nurse was seen standing and looking at the doctor in their midst.

 "Excuse me!  Doctor Andre, the family of the patient in room A would like to speak to you."  said the nurse.

 In response, the young and handsome doctor who was only known to be named Andre smiled and nodded lightly.  A second later he turned his gaze to the two teenagers in front and to his right.

 "Then I'll excuse myself, if there's anything, don't hesitate to ask the nurse for help, okay?"

 "Okay Doctor!"  Amelia answered quickly.

 Shortly after, the young doctor left.  Leaving two people of different types in this treatment room.  Without realizing that he had also left a question mark on the mind of one of them

 "Doctor Andre she said?"  Dean had a monologue in his mind.

 For a moment when he heard the nurse say the doctor's name, Dean was disturbed to recall the main male character in the novel oasis.  Same name and profession, it would be strange if Dean didn't suspect anything.

 "Dean?  What are you looking at?"

 Suddenly Dean turned around.  His daydream was interrupted, thanks to a tap on the shoulder and the question Amel asked him.  It was then that Dean realized that he had been silent for quite a while looking at the door.

 "Oh... nothing."  His answer was a little stammered.

 "Dean thirsty?  Want me to buy you a drink?"

 Even though he wasn't really thirsty, for some reason Dean just nodded.  It was as if someone had ordered him to do that, and he only realized it right after Amel had left the room.  Once again, Dean was left alone.

 Deandra is not someone who likes to wait.  But at the same time, staying in silence had become his habit for a long time.  No wonder, because that's how he spent ten years of his precious life.

 "We've never been close.  The reason we keep seeing each other is only because of Ivan.  Honestly, I can't judge.  In my eyes you look like someone who can do anything."

Oh no!  he could feel the tightness as the words echoed in his ears again.

 "So, we weren't friends in the first place?"  Deandra monologue.  Asking him who isn't here.

Once again, the image of a dream from a while ago came back to haunt him.  Dean couldn't say for sure which one was a dream and which one was real.  This confusion tormented him even more, so he decided to ignore it and just live with it.

 The more he thought about it, the more Dean wanted to blame someone for any bad luck that had happened to him.  And when he thought about who was the most to blame, the first thing that came to this young man's mind was none other than someone.

 The funny thing is, as if he felt called, the person in question actually appeared at the door of the infirmary with beads of sweat running down his temples.

 "Dean?!  How are you?  I come as soon as possible!"  Dirga - the father of Deandra, caused a stir with his panicked cry.

 "Why are you here?"  Dean sneered.  Then rise from his original position lying down to sit on the patient's bed.

 "Don't try to wake up if you're still weak!  Just rest."  Instead of answering questions from his son, Dirga was more focused on Deandra's movement.

 His son's cynicism didn't affect this man at all, and his indifference only irritated Dean even more.  Even now, Dirga is so relaxed and then takes a seat on the empty chair right next to the bed.

 "Your mother is also worried, but she can't come.  There's still a lot of work to do."  he said so calmly.

 On the bed, Dean put on a very unfriendly face.  He continued to look hateful at his father even though the man gave him a worried look.

 "Are you really okay?  Don't push yourself.  It doesn't matter if you wants to stay at the hospital for a while."

 Dirga reached out, wanted to touch Dean's shoulder and at the same time check if there were any wounds on his son's body.  But in return, he actually received a hard slap on the back of his hand.

 "How many times do I have to tell you?  Do not touch me!  Don't act like you're a good dad!  I know how rotten you are.  Don't expect me to be deceived!"  Dean cursed.

 The emotions that he had been holding back as best he could at the breakfast table this morning had now almost reached their limit.  If his father tried to touch him again after this, Dean couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't explode.

 But it seems Dirga understands.  Even though he actually quite questioned Dean's meaning, because he himself felt he never intended to deceive anyone.

That's why instead of forcing his will, he prefers to keep his hands away from Deandra's body.  Then carved an understanding smile at Dean's behavior towards him.

 For a moment Deandra was stunned.  Half were shocked and half couldn't believe it.  Because as far as he could remember, this was the first time in his life that Dean had seen his father smile at him.

 That smile is different.  It wasn't the same smile his father would show in front of the homeroom teacher when distributing report cards or when they having dinner with coworkers.

 Deandra didn't want to believe her eyes.  That's why right after consciousness slapped him, Dean immediately turned his gaze to another direction while snorting in annoyance.

 "I don't know why you like this.  But if i did something bad to you, I'm sorry."  Dirga said so sincerely.

 "Apologize without realizing what your mistake was only done by someone who wasn't sincere."  Dean sneered.

 At the bedside, his father did not respond much.  Only a light laugh typical of middle-aged men could be heard by Deandra.

 "Well, then why didn't you just tell me what's my fault?"

Dirga's words this time managed to attract Deandra's attention to him.  Still trying to understand his son's behavior, Dirga chose not to worry too much about Dean's change in attitude towards him.

 For a moment, there was only silence.  Dean didn't want to believe his eyes.  The smile and gentle manner of the man at the bedside felt like a cheap trick.  There's no way Deandra would be deceived.

 Meanwhile, Deandra's silence made Dirga sigh lightly.  After a while, his hand was stretched out again.  This time to pat his son lightly on the shoulder.  Surprisingly, this time Dean didn't immediately brush his hand away.

 "You've been having problems lately, haven't you?  What is the problem?  School? A Girl?  I can understand why.  When I were your age, my emotions were also unstable.  Therefore, Dean is free to talk to me.  Tell me what's wrong."

 As a father, it is natural for Dirga to pay attention and try to understand his son.  But unfortunately, he didn't realize that his attitude actually triggered Dean's emotions to rise higher.

"My problem is you!"  as if he had been released from the chains that bound him, now Dean did not hesitate to yell while once again slapping his father's hand violently.

 "Me?  Why?"  Dirga asked quietly.

 This time Dirga could not return to being calm.  Even the smile disappeared from his face just as he saw the way his own son was looking at him.

 That gaze was filled with hatred, and the kind of hatred that was seen there would not arise over a trivial matter.

 "I told you didn't I?  My problem is you!  From the start all the trouble started with you!"  Not only yelling, now Dean is starting to dare to point at his father's face.

 Of course his son's attitude made Dirga shocked.  In fact the only thing he could say was ask a question in such a low voice.

 "What did Daddy do to you, son?  Why is Dean so angry?"

 "As long as you know Mr.Dirga Atma Wijaya!  It's been ten years!  For ten years I kept all this by myself!  Ten years I wished I could die so I could meet you in hell.  Just to say that I really hope…"

 Suddenly, every sentence Dean wanted to say caught in his throat.  Just when the sad look shown by the man on the bedside pulled back Deandra's consciousness.

 Dean realized that every sentence he said would hurt Dirga's heart.  But on the one hand, he didn't want to feel sorry for the man who had ruined his life.

 "Why?  What does your expression mean?  It's your fault!  All your fault!  You shouldn't act like a victim!" His mind screamed.

 But the deepest part of his heart was doubtful.  The remaining bit of logic forced Deandra to ask.  Was this man really worthy of any hatred from him?  What if this man was different?

 "What do you hope for?  Go ahead."

 Dirga asked a question that was clearly unexpected by Deandra.  The shock made Dean's entire body freeze.  He didn't want to look, but he couldn't take his eyes off him either.  In the end he had no choice but to continue the conversation that hurt them both.

 "I wish… I was never born as your child.  I wish mom never married you.  And most importantly, I wish you to die alone somewhere without dragging us along with you."  Ignoring his logic, Dean spoke again but this time in a very low voice.

Every sentence he had strung together during the ten years behind bars, which he was also prepared to utter in anger, unfortunately couldn't finish to the end.

 Maybe that was the reason why he could still feel empty in his heart even after saying everything.  Or perhaps, the reason was because Dean felt that he had taken his anger out on the wrong person.

 "You know, kid?  I used to hope the same thing.  There were days when I wished I had died in an accident and never made it home."

 After a moment of silence, Dirga's words silenced Deandra.  Feelings of sadness, and frustration welled up in Dean's heart when he heard that.

 "But I'm sorry… because I never expected it, and I never even thought about what if mom and dad didn't meet.  Of course, I never expected that you weren't born either."

 Dean refused to admit it.  But the feeling of surprise was evident in the two wide eyes.  The gaze that was still fixed on his father made Dean able to catch clearly when the man smiled back at him.

 "That's why Dean… I'm sorry, but even if Dean wishes never to be born as my son, I will still wish my son was you."

 Dean wanted to dismiss the reality he saw.  He wanted to hold on to the belief that all of this was fake.  But this falsehood is so sweet, that slowly but surely his heart wants to fall asleep.  In the end, without any warning Deandra might get trapped again.

 Meanwhile neither of them noticed a bespectacled man sitting somewhere.  With a cup of coffee on the table and a pen in his right hand.

 He smiled as he watched how slowly but surely Dean's heart melted, thanks to the scenario from him.  The smile widened, and produced a sentence that was said full of jokes.

 "Maybe it's time for me to visit my favorite extra character."

 To be continued....