Chapter 4

Garden View, USA.

Alodia Harvey knew she was going to die. She wasn't so naïve as to think that all of those drugs, treatments, and special food was going to help her get better and continue with her life. Those were just assets in prolonging her agony, because this was not life. She was exhausted by the continuous visits to hospitals and doctors. Trying out various treatment options only sucked out the remaining life out of her. They were just fooling her by making her think they're prolonging her life. And what kind of a life was that when she was experiencing tremendous pain after every chemo? After all, she was a nurse herself. She had witnessed a lot of death in her life. A few months after finding out they had colon cancer, patients, even after surgery was performed, were dying. The same thing was waiting for her. But this agony was nothing compared to the suffering she went through many years before. Even now, she had a deeper pain in all of that agony, hidden well inside her.

And everything had started as a great love story.

They were too daring, too free, too decisive, but too happy as well. Alodia Harvey, Janet and Suzan didn't stand up to fate – they just had a great desire to experience life.

Adventurous and curious, they cruised the States. They were only interested in places that caused their adrenaline to shoot through the roof, like rising mercury. Driven by extraordinary, unusual, unconventional places and sceneries, landscapes and fauna.

When even the grizzlies of Alaska didn't spark their excitement, they decided it was time to change the continent. All of them have already graduated and had jobs. The finances were not a issue for them to secure tickets for South Africa, where they expected to have a real safari adventure and hopefully, to see the great whites.

They had no real interest in the political situation, even though she didn't like what she'd heard, not even one bit. The papers were reporting all kinds of things. But they didn't read the papers and didn't watch the news. They would only learn something along the way about the apartheid and the decisiveness of the black population to liberate itself from discrimination. In spite of this, South Africa was a civilized country that offered them safety.

When they left the shore from Cape Town in search for great whites, she didn't expect that her destiny will be changed forever.

The tourists were excited and frightened, asking themselves will the old barge bring them back safely to port, since the weather took a turn for the worse.

The group of friends found all this very exhilarating. They laughed joyfully and huddled together.

This adventure came about unexpectedly, when they overheard a conversation between some hotel guests of an opportunity to sail off to the open ocean and observe the marine life. And when they figured out that the marine life includes the dangerous great white sharks, there was no doubt in their minds that they had to be on that boat. They'd left the safari for later.

They were rocking on rough waves. The mood shifted – from exalted cheerfulness, while the sun played with the clouds and when the bright rays warmed their faces, to bleak and dreary questioning of the decision to leave the port when the shadow of the clouds would engulf everything and transform the waves into a dark vortex.

She never had experience with sailing on rough seas. What she experienced in Florida was incomparable with these dark, murky waters.

Perhaps it was the thought of a six-hour round trip, on rough seas and poor weather, which caused her increasing apprehension that she wouldn't last long before emptying the contents of her stomach. That would be unpleasant, but inexorable. Even worse was the fact that she wouldn't be well enough to see the sharks and the seals. So she decided to separate from her friends and retreat to a bench, to ease her seasickness.

When someone shouted 'Sharks!' she instinctively, half-conscious, rushed to the railing. Perhaps it was her own fault or maybe it was due to a sudden turn of the vessel, but she was sent flying across the railing and into the water.

She was so weakened by the seasickness that she didn't even utter a sound for help. And when she found herself under the cold water, the first thing that popped in her mind was whether she'll become a meal for some great white shark. On the first touch she sensed, she decided to slip into unconsciousness, so she would never feel her own death.

Everything that followed was like a dream.

A gorgeous man watched over her.

He held her right hand in his and with his other hand he gently caressed her.

The warmth of her body gradually increased, but it was the kind of warmth that was sparked by a desire for intimacy. And so she continued sleeping, because the dream was pleasant, and she didn't want the handsome man to leave her. She expected his firm hand to climb up to her face and then to turn to the rest of her body, leading her to the peak of her fevered arousal. That would mark the end of this journey. A delightful end of a dream. Dying could indeed be a beautiful thing. And then, she was confused. What was the dream: the submerging in the cold seawater or the gorgeous man in front of her?

It turned out that both were real.

She was drowning in the freezing ocean.

And she was rescued by a young, brave and handsome man, who mindlessly jumped in the shark-infested waters to get her.

"My name is Aart. Aart Crump," he introduced himself. "And yours?"

"Alodia Harvey."

From that moment, he was constantly by her side during her entire stay in South Africa. It turned out the young man was friendly, interesting, funny, helpful and above all, courteous. The fact that he was egocentric, narcissistic, meticulously tidy and sometimes eccentric was overlooked due to the excessive enthusiasm and overjoyed feeling that consumed the girls.

Every moment was filled with some event, something happening. Each event was an experience that left no room for other feelings, save exalted astonishment with their host. He reveled in this and enjoyed every moment. Every gasp of amazement of theirs boosted his greatness. Aart Crump tried to impress them, especially Alodia Harvey.

And he succeeded.

Instead of hearing the ear-piercing roars of the lions, her insides were pierced by Aart Crump's insatiable lust for sex. She liked that. For the entire time, she was in a sweet trance-like state. With him, she believed, this would last forever.

When he proposed to her, she accepted right away.

From then on, all things followed the order of young married couple, until the moment when his possessiveness and jealousy started to suffocate her mental and physical freedom. She was forbidden to leave the house in his absence. And later, when she ignored this on several occasions, she was locked in. Every attempt for some sort of resistance from her was followed by violent outbursts on his side. After the beatings, she was subjected to his remorse, demands for forgiveness for the acts of violence, new offers for an even better life, and all this garnished with vows that he'll get better, fix things and wouldn't lay a finger on her ever again. But for how long? Until she breaks one of his restrictions on contacts with other men. She wasn't allowed to speak to men, she wasn't allowed to shake hands with men. No one was allowed to touch her. Once, he beat one young man senseless, just because the unfortunate fellow approached her during a dance on a party. Her first and last. She wasn't allowed to be friends with colored people, even though she had a black friend back in the States. She wasn't allowed to leave the house for too long. She wasn't allowed to visit the neighbors or her friends. The house had to be in perfect order and she had to wait by the front door like a good and obedient housewife when he arrived home. She wasn't allowed to object racist behavior in public, least of all his own, unacceptable for her, obsessive views on racial superiority. It was a foreign world. A society she didn't want to belong in, from which she would gladly isolate herself, and even better – leave it altogether. But she couldn't. His everyday tirades, persistent and loud, were squeezing out the open-mindedness out of her. He was systematically narrowing her worldview. She didn't leave her beautiful homeland for the horrible captivity of South Africa.

The magnitude of the possessiveness to which she was subjected and was enslaved by, was revealed through an accidental confession after one of their fights, when Aart Crump unintentionally spilled the truth.

He'd noticed her on the pier. He'd fallen in love with her on first sight and firmly decided that he had to have her. That's why he boarded the barge. To win her over? Rather, he'd boarded the vessel to hold on to his possession. That's why from the first sight of her it was unimaginable to him for someone else to approach his future wife. When a man jumps in the midst of bloodthirsty sharks, his courage is a consequence of the limitless love towards his loved one or of his limitless madness, driven by perverted possessiveness, which was his case, believed Alodia Crump. To be an object of such adoration was unbearable for a normal person.

She tried to find an appropriate behavior that would please him, so she could secure a little more freedom for herself. But such a thing was impossible. Submission to such a man didn't bring freedom for the submissive. It only strengthened the enslaved role. And she didn't want to be a slave. The agony in which she lived her days, together with the thoughts of how to escape from it, was slowly repressed by the concern about her pregnancy. Her being with child didn't change his mind. He was caring and gentle only when she didn't defy him. One of her attempts to test his patience ended up with a bloody nose and a black eye. From that moment, she firmly decided to start thinking about changing her life.

"We'll have beautiful children," he said to her, but her heart wasn't touched. The joy of the pregnancy was scattered like ashes through the African desert. But the 'You'll give birth until God doesn't take that blessed gift from you' unsettled her. In spite of the great cruelty, her husband was devout and regularly went to church and prayed. He also prayed and honored certain holy days in their home.

When their twins, Ernest and Roger, were born, that was proof of divine forethought. Aart Crump believed that his prayers had been answered. The white angel-like faces of the twins radiated brightly like the morning sun in the Crump household. And yet, not bright enough to stop their mother's thoughts about escape.

The need for medical care for her children enabled her to move more freely. Aart Crump was relying on the temporary sexual inaptitude of his wife and he tolerated her temporary freedom without objections. This opportunity couldn't be wasted. At the same time, Crump got his wish to transfer from the paramilitary to a special unit called 'death squad'.

While he was obsessed with thoughts about the preserving the domination of the white race, Alodia was trying to find a way out of the country. While she was at the doctor's, she used his phone. She gave her friend the short version of the events and explained to her that she had to figure out some way to leave her husband. She felt helpless and didn't want to involve her father in this, because she knew that he wasn't capable for something of this magnitude. He could also get himself into trouble and her sister was still very young.

And while the plot was slowly taking shape, she had to endure her husband's unpredictable and violent behavior. The thought that it wouldn't last much longer provided some comfort to her. And she had a strong need to believe in the success of the plan, because apprehension and fear had returned to her life once again. After one unfortunate event of food poisoning at home, Aart Crump had got into his head that he was a victim of his own wife, who was preparing him poisoned meals. His ill mind refused to acknowledge it as an accident and instead he even went as far as claiming that the mother would murder her own children. The ceaseless repeating, explaining, shouting, quarrels and unhinged nonsenses were not an obstacle for him to make love to her, seldom voluntarily, but often violently.

There is nothing more frightening than a nightmare in one's home, created by the people closest to you. The nightmare is even greater if the chances for escape are getting thinner with time. The lack of communication from her friend has gradually started to undermine her determination. She felt that the moment when she would crack and lose her mind entirely was getting closer, when she would finally fall to indifference and aimlessness. Not even the sight of the beautiful boys could spark and renew her defiance and will to endure. She was overwhelmed by powerlessness.

The boys were wonderful and strong. They were special. That's what she thought, although she didn't know why. But they were special to her, profoundly. Perhaps because, in time, she'd lost a big part of her courage and they brazenly stared with their blue eyes in their dreadful father, never crying, in spite of his harsh gentleness. She was frightened to think of their future with a father like that. What will they grow up to become.

The sex was repulsive and tiring. She felt no desire, no need, no lust. In contrast, Aart Crump was insatiable. Sometimes Alodia used her feminine wiles, but in time she gave up entirely and accepted the role of a sex slave. He was a beast of a man. Tenacious and unstoppable.

She prayed to God not to get pregnant again.

She didn't think that she had enough strength left to raise other children.

When she'd missed her period for the first time, she knew fate wasn't on her side. Still, she handled things wisely. She kept her condition to herself and didn't intend to share it with anyone else. And even if she'd wanted to, she didn't have anyone to share it with. Her isolation was absolute from the first day. Even though she was friendly and sociable, everyone steered clear of her. In the beginning she didn't knew what to think of this, but the words of one of the neighbors had cleared her doubts. She realized that her captivity was the reason that no one could or would get close to her. The fear from the troublesome neighbor kept everybody away from their house.

But for how long could she keep the pregnancy a secret? It was fortunate that she had her morning sickness when he wasn't at home, so for some time, her secret remained her own.

After the second attempt to establish a contact with her friend in the US, once again from the doctor's office, she returned home completely broken. The call was unsuccessful. No one picked up on the other side of the line.

It was obvious that fate has turned its back to her. Was there something in her past for which she had to repent to turn her life around? How else could she understand the fact that her prayers to God remained unanswered?

And when she least expected it, the hope for rescue came in the shape of a hairy and bearded hunter. During one of her rare trips outside of the house, he pretended to unintentionally stand next to her and said that he was sent by her friend Suzan Coyne. He asked her to stay calm. Not to reveal herself. Alodia Harvey quivered with joy. So she wasn't abandoned by her closest friends. They were thinking of her and they organized to help her. This hadn't only revived her hope, but also reinvigorated her courage. She felt alive once again. 'How important is to have someone in your life to rely on,' she thought.

And while she impatiently awaited the next move of her rescuers, she kept on playing the part of a submissive wife. Sometimes she held her tongue at Aart Crupms's harshness, not wanting to make a bigger scene. She thought that nothing betrayed her exhilaration to the possessive tyrant. In those endless moments of waiting, her thoughts constantly wandered and in certain moments she was taken over by paranoia, which steered the course of her thoughts. Once, after the brutal intercourse, Aart Crump told her, "Dear…," he was always affectionate with her, even though that phony kindness was mocking and repulsive. "You know I love you very much and that only God can tear us apart. But if something does tear us apart, the children will leave my side over their dead bodies." She then mustered all of her strength to contain herself. She thought of the hunter's words, telling herself to believe them and that way, she managed to hold off her panic.

When would the operation for her extraction begin, she didn't know. She couldn't understand why this was kept a secret from her. Later she'd realized that they waited for the ship on which she was supposed to make her getaway to arrive. A huge ocean liner, on which her presence would pass perfectly unnoticed, as well as her boarding.

On the day when she was due to leave her house, she had the luck of her husband being on an assignment up-country. Otherwise, she didn't know whether she would manage to conceal her intentions from him. The hunter appeared on the door. Obviously, he'd watched their house and the activities of its inhabitants. She'd sent the black maid which was ordered to control her movement to the pharmacy to get some medications for the children. She did this to have an opportunity to hastily pack their bags.

The hunter parked on a discreet spot on the pier. He turned towards her. On the back seat, she held her twin boys tightly and, for God knows what reason, she was shivering. This was an adventure on the brink of doom. The circumstances in which she was forced to find herself in, in spite of all the uncertainty, offered salvation. The alternative was certain, slow and agonizing death.

"This is where you'll have to separate from the children. You will board the cruiser alone, under a new identity, to cover your tracks. Here's a new US passport."

Alodia Harvey couldn't believe her ears. She thought she was imagining what she'd just heard.

Noticing her reservedness, the hunter explained.

"One of my associates will take the children aboard incognito. They don't have travel documents and won't be able to leave the country legally."

She hadn't thought of that. All this time she thought that there was some way for her children to avoid the border control, but she hadn't assumed that she would have to separate from them.

She shot a long, inquisitive look to the hunter, whose name was still a mystery to her. He understood the question.

"You'll have to trust me. Soon my associate with the connection will arrive to take over the boys."

In that moment, two men simultaneously approached the car. They both wore parkas and caps – one wore a naval officer's cap and the other a black knitted cap. They stopped next to the car. The man with the officer's cap lowered himself to the passenger window.

Alodia Harvey couldn't rid herself from the dreadful feeling owed to the fact that she had to part with her twins. Unintelligible, like in a dreamlike mist, she listened the explanations of the hunter – that everything was carefully and precisely planned ahead, that the right people were bribed to carry out the most difficult part of the escape – the transport of the children to the cruiser, and that everything was timed in such a way that after her boarding on the deck, the ocean liner would sail off right away. The twins would be waiting for her in the cabin they've booked for her.

She couldn't tell which urge prevailed when she accepted the assurances of the hunter – his confident composure which instilled trust or the fear of returning to the hell from which she couldn't wait to get away from – but she obediently turned the boys over to the men.

She trailed behind the hunter through all of the procedures in the port building. His self-assuredness gave her strength to compose herself and return the gaze of the customs officers. But she couldn't muster the courage to do one thing: take a look behind. Only when she reached the deck, she took a broad view which stretched over the entire sea front and breathed a sigh of great relief. She stood waiting in a secluded part of the deck until the gangway was hoisted. Deep inside her she felt a need to watch over the people who embarked, to see if she would recognize a hated face among them. She felt anger building up in her and transforming into a determination to persevere and endure the moments before she could go to her twins, realizing that death was not such a great, looming threat which could persuade her to go back.

The horns blared and the vessel rocked.

It was a cue for both of them to start their way to the ship's interior, towards the cabin.

She walked briskly. The hunter just pointed the way when she would turn back to ask him for directions.

Her impatience sent the cabin door swinging open.

Her eyes went straight for the bed, where two tiny bodies laid covered with white sheets.

She ran towards them and pulled the linens of them.

Two corpses of vervet monkeys laid in the bed, staring at her with their dead eyes.

She fell unconscious.

She never found out how it happened. The hunter swore that he had nothing to do with the cruel deception. Everything was done in highest secrecy. They didn't use the services of any South Africans. They had contacts with officials from certain agencies, but they didn't tell anyone, no one, about their plans. They were outsmarted. Outplayed. His face read perplexity, confusion, defeat. She believed him. He stayed with her during the course of the entire trip and later, because of the guilt he felt, he became a part of her life until his death.

The gruesomeness and the manner in which the act was committed were a clear sign of who was behind it all. He must've expected that the pain will cause her to lose her mind and that she'll end her life in the same place from which he rescued her two years ago – the ocean.

A deranged plan born from a twisted mind.

And perhaps that would be the case, if she didn't carry a fetus in her belly who expected her to give it a life. And because of this, she endured all that pain and suffering. Admittedly, she wasn't sure the stress from the past events wouldn't affect the unborn baby, but unless anything happened that would suggest otherwise, all self-sacrifices were worth it.

At home, it turned out that she was carrying twins.

She named them Ernest and Roger and added her last name, Harvey.

Ernest and Roger Harvey.

Ernest and Roger Crump were left in the past, repressed and hidden in the farthest and darkest corners of her mind.

For safety reasons, she'd bought a small estate near Garden View. Apart from her regular job in the hospital, she'd started to breed Beauceron dogs.

Up until the moment when she was diagnosed with the awful illness, she didn't mention the existence of the twin brothers to her sons. She was supposed to do that in the moments before her passing away, but death was quicker than her intentions.

"You know I love you very much and that only God can tear us apart. But if something does tear us apart, the children will leave my side over their dead bodies."

Those words plagued her for her entire life. Those words justified her decision in front of her conscience, but were they enough to justify her in front of the Almighty God? Now was the final moment to redeem herself for what she'd done in the past.

The time had come for her to bare her soul, confess her sins and confront her now adult sons.

Only one thing had still made her doubt her intentions and scared her, in spite of her decisiveness: what kind of people would she present in front of Ernest and Roger Harvey?

She didn't know. And she kept asking herself:

Had God gifted them with heart?