Heartbreak Slumber

Colleen was not feeling well at all that day. Maybe it was the leftover macaroni she'd been eating since yesterday morning? Oh my goodness. Did she have to leave the house? No. Sitting in front of the closed television, she could hear the rain pouring down on the city.It was on a day like this that she met Aidan, knocking on Jackson's door.

Part of her wished she had never looked back, and another part told herself that those past months, even for her, held deep and beautiful memories that she would keep until love knocked on her door again. Because let's face it, Aidan may not have been her Prince Charming on the beautiful white horse, but she loved him like one. Maybe more, considering how much she suffers.

With an effort that was no doubt provided by some deity who took pity on her, Colleen gets up from her couch and walks over to one of her windows and pushes the curtain back a bit to look out onto the street. Definitely, this rain is exactly what almost sent her to the hospital with bronchitis. Glancing at the building across the street, she notices a couple standing on the porch. The woman had her arms around the man's waist. The latter rested his head on his companion's skull and they seemed to be waddling. "Aren't they cold?" Colleen asked with a small grimace on her face.

Looking in the opposite direction of the couple, the young woman looks at another young man who, this time, is moving quickly through the rain, holding an umbrella, not over him, but over a woman at his side. He agrees to get wet so that she stays dry. She remembers Aidan telling her at that moment, in the middle of a hugging session.

"-To let you know how much I love you, normally I wouldn't have wanted to date a woman as tall as you. But you make a difference."

At the time she didn't understand anything. In her past, no boy had ever mentioned her height. Nor really any aspect of his physique now that she remembered it. Whereas Aidan always pointed out something tiny or insignificant to her. Maybe that's not what he likes about me. He notices everything about me. Maybe that was why I was never enough for him. Never perfect. Never acceptable.

Colleen runs a distracted hand over her face and feels the silent tears rolling down her cheeks.

"-Shit."

Crying was the only consistent thing that happened to her these days. Since Marco Polo's death and since Aidan broke up with her... by message.

She doesn't know what hurts her more but in both cases, something is missing from her daily life. Maybe it was time to move on, right? Marco Polo wouldn't have wanted to see her crying like that for days, not leaving her house and using Doordash or UberEats excessively.

Colleen runs her hand through her hair and encounters several knots that take away her desire to continue. Aidan wanted her to dye her hair and didn't like her curls. As their relationship progressed, the young woman could feel the change in her but did nothing to change it. He loves me, she told herself.

Love has many faces but deep down she knew that at some point it wasn't between them, it wasn't mutual. This realization made her heart ache and she realized that she always had

her eyes on the piece of sidewalk where she saw the young man wet so that his girlfriend would be dry under the umbrella. She and Aidan really didn't share anything. He liked his personal space. He said he liked independence and rarely had unnecessary physical contact. Which is just the opposite for her. On the rare occasions when he did want a few hugs, those moments seemed as magical as they were precious.

Turning her reddened eyes away from the window, Colleen takes a few steps into her living room -which was more like a second bedroom than a room for rest and sharing- and remembers one of the few gifts her ex-boyfriend gave her during an almost two-year relationship: an origami butterfly, made with yellow paper, yellow being his favorite color so she immediately thought that the origami was a gesture of love because he was thinking of her. But considering the current situation, maybe it was just an action produced by boredom. Was even one thing true in this relationship? Now that she is questioning everything, those two years seem more and more false and imaginary. It's even worse than she expected. Perhaps he never loved her. It was indeed her who proposed the first dinner. Did he force her to be in a relationship with him? But no, he's a grown man, saying no wouldn't have hurt him that much.

Maybe that's what we should have done in the first place, stopped everything. Because if you look at it, there would be nothing to save from a house that was already burned. What an idiot! She was the only one who stayed behind while the ship sank, ignoring the hands extended by her family and friends. Alone. She was for two years, in a relationship that didn't even happen. Oh my God. New but habitual tears streamed down her cheeks, at this rate, furrows had formed in her face and she had aged thirty years. What would her parents say if they saw her like this? She doesn't remember ever seeing her mother in such a state. Crying, yes, screaming, sometimes, frustration, some. But .... this?

Once again, a new wave of sadness takes hold of her, making her slump on her armchair where she has been wallowing for a few days. The velvet of the sheets received endless tears. She could no longer set foot in her room, so many memories of the last two years were stored in the room. When the call of a bed was too strong, the guest room served as her sanctuary. Finally, her entire apartment was in a deplorable state that was not at all what she liked. Shame, fear, and a sense of abandonment took the place of her heart broken by the one man she loved the most during these last few days.

Is it true that one can die of grief? Google preferred the term "broken heart" but at the moment, the evil of his vital organ has spread throughout his body and makes sure that there is no room for anything good.

Crying over her furniture, she fell asleep, only to wake up to the sound of a knock on her front door. Not wanting to get up for anything, the young brunette told herself that the person would eventually leave and leave her alone. As expected, after a few minutes, she no longer heard the knocking on the door but perceived a kind of rubbing. Gathering her strength, Colleen got up and walked slowly towards the front door and discovered a white envelope probably slipped under the door. With a sigh, she squatted down and opened it.

"Hi sis,

We are worried about you. Mom came by to see me and she wanted to come by your house too but I had to tell her that you left at the last minute for some meeting. I don't think she believed me but at least you have until the end of the week to call her or she'll come by with the police next time. Mateo dropped off some food for you on his way home from work, he said "from Mama", I think that means it's from his mom, but I'm not sure. He also said that Ida and Misha are worried but on their side, can't get too much time off right now so they thought they would send you some food and a couple of things that would make you feel better. We had a little fun with it and we hope you like it.

Elena and I also put in a couple of things we thought you would like to have. I miss you very much.

We need to talk. I have a couple of things to say to you.

I love you.

Jack"

The letter from her brother, written with two different pens for sure, puts a balm in her heart. She didn't think she would feel this warmth right away, but in a way, she's glad this letter reached her.

It was almost five o'clock and hunger was tugging at her stomach. She hurriedly opened the door for fear that someone would steal her present and discovered a large white box with "LYLY" written on it in black. She lifts it with a little grunt and closes the door behind her.

When Colleen lifts the lid, she discovers a multitude of things covered in wrapping paper with numbers written on them in black marker. An envelope was placed in the center of the box, as she took it, a bowl appeared and she guessed that it was Mateo's dish that Jack had mentioned. Food is his priority at the moment, the scent of the dish reaches his stomach which causes a grunt from him. She removed the bowl and underneath, there were still small bowls. The young woman puts everything on the counter of her kitchen and proceeds to remove all the covers of the bowls and jars containing what, from minute to minute, was becoming what she missed most at the moment: good food.

Colleen discovers a bowl with sauce, another bowl with rice, another with soft tortillas, and finally a bowl with chopped salad. She thinks it's birria, a dish she's wanted to try for some time but hasn't been able to due to her distance from her only Hispanic friends. Shame still grips her but hunger quickly takes over and without waiting, looking for an empty bowl and a clean spoon, our dear hopeless romantic dives head first into what was her first real meal since the death of her beloved Marco Polo.

With some time, finishing a second bowl of rice, Colleen looks up at the wall clock and notices that a good hour has passed since she took the box. Thanking her friends and brothers should be the least she can do.

After a few minutes of searching, she discovers her phone on the floor, under the sheets of her second room, turned off for lack of charge. While waiting for it to be in working order, she opens the envelope of the box and finds two sheets. Another letter explaining how the little game they had set up for her to discover the gifts her friends had given her worked. One of them said:

#4 If you want something warm to get you through the cold weather coming in the next few weeks. Seattle will be raining for a while sweetheart. Pledge. XOXO.

It was probably from Misha. Opening the package labeled #4, she discovered two pairs of long socks: one in the theme of Disney's "The Princess and the Frog" and the other featuring sunflowers. A smile painted itself on her lips and she promised herself to wear a pair tonight.

His phone suddenly starts ringing. Notifications come up one after the other without respite. She had to put it under silence. Several times Emmett's name comes up on the screen, making her anxiety grow. Her brother never liked to be ignored. Especially when the other wasn't doing well. She will hear from him.

Then a new notification goes up, from an unknown number.

"Hi, this is Alex."

Alex?

Below the notification, Emmett's last message appears:

"I have permission to come early. I'll see you in three days. With Alex."

With Alex?