Truth

After a while of listening to a long story of a fallen Goddess, Adam returned to his temporary room.

He sat on the bed while clasping his hands…

[Genre Switch- Stealth Game]

Just so he could move around more freely, he changed his Taboo System's setting to match him.

Since he wasn't thinking of fighting anyone anytime soon, this genre was worth putting himself into.

His combat capabilities lowered drastically…

Though this didn't stop him from sinking into thoughts while holding the Adamanthea Mask.

"Four Siblings… No, five. He doesn't know how they were born, but they were already Gods." The image of the figures he was told about arose in his head while monologuing thoughts to himself.

Trying to wrap his head around what he'd heard…

He was alone with himself.

"Five Gods… Karma, Life, Creation, Destruction, and… Mortality." He imagined the celestial beings.

A man in a top hat. A faceless silhouette that was half light and half darkness. He was destruction.

His name… was 'Enigma'.

The self-proclaimed oldest sibling of five. The one who took charge when others were on their own.

The centre of the group…

Compared to him, the Karma Goddess who decided the fate of many was insignificant.

The youngest of the five godly siblings.

Maybe that's why it happened…

"The Destruction God, 'Enigma', betrayed and stole the Divinity of the Karma Goddess, as well as other Gods. She fell from grace, and had no choice but to journey to regain her strength." Although what he heard didn't have context, he could guess a lot.

He didn't know much about her, but he knew the identity of this 'Karma Goddess' pretty intimately.

She was… Red Rabbit.

That was the modifier the current Sword Goddess by the same name went by. She was that 'Void'.

Such a fact made him reinterpret a lot of things.

The more he asked about her, the more disjointed facts made his perspective of her shift somewhat.

Apparently, her consciousness began as an ego formed by the lingering thoughts of called warriors.

Something he didn't know could even exist.

When she fell and had to start anew, these many memories allowed her to find a new path by herself.

That was to say… she'd never once been 'human'.

Apparently, that kimono wearing aesthetic was just a disguise meant to hide away her alien mindset.

A woman unfeeling when it came to killing others.

Maybe that's why she killed 'them' so easily.

And also why Gaia seemed to be closer to the Sword Goddess despite being harsh and strict.

To her, it must've been easy kills. She was once a Goddess who decided fate, then became the sword that could cut other Gods. If she was ranked among her own kind, she'd be the highest tier.

So… what was he supposed to do with this?

"He also said 'Divinities' are a concept, and the only way for an avatar to surpass their God was to combine several Divinities and cultivate them. It was something Gaia had intended to let me do."

This was a heretical method that wasn't popular to do. After all, who'd want their avatar to grow up?

Keeping them by their side was good enough.

But from the fact Gaia had earned him an opportunity to gain a new Divinity, one could say that she was his greatest ally. Without her using connections, Void would've been uninterested.

Adam paced around in circles while trying to identify who was a friend and who was a foe.

Gaia might've done many things to him, but she was also someone who cared about him the most.

…Why?

Red Rabbit… Void… The more he heard about her past, the more it seemed like he was overreacting.

That what happened between them was just an accident. Maybe Solaris and Lumina could Blanche her, but 'he', who split himself in two, couldn't say anything about how others they reacted to him.

The thought of everything being his fault lingered…

'Is that why they left?' Adam felt his thoughts accelerating again, and his heartbeat unstable.

He felt weak in the knees…

[You have been self-inflicted with and are suffering from the mental type status ailment: 'Confusion'.]

[Warning: You must rest up.]

[Warning: It is recommended that you sit down.]

"Shut up!" Adam's face twisted for a moment while screaming at the texts, which chased them away.

It felt like the Taboo System had become meek…

"Are you taking things out on others again?" He suddenly heard a voice coming from the mirror.

When he turned his head, a man with livelier eyes and slicker appearance appeared in the reflection.

"…I must be confused."

"Isn't that what it was trying to tell you? You seem really unstable. Is this because you're indecisive?"

"What do YOU know?" Adam put on a strong face in front of the imaginary figure… Adamanthea.

But the fact he was in this state couldn't be hidden.

"Funny… Didn't you say I'm basically you but hyper? What happened to that?" The man with cleaner face walked out of the mirror. He seemed like a ghost that wasn't dictated by common sense.

"What are you here for?"

"What 'I' am here for? Then what about you: What are YOU here for? To become a God among men?"

"Is that bad to want?"

"It's not what you desire. So… for the first time in your life… say it." Adamanthea gazed down on him.

"Say what?" Adam averted his eyes.

"What you truly want. The thing you've been hiding deep inside. Do you think I don't know you?"

"…" It was the truth. In a twisted sense, this ball of hyperactive joy was a reflection of his true self.

Of course, he couldn't hide his feelings.

…No matter how pathetic they may sound.

"No one can judge you. The only 'person' here is the voice in your head, aka your imaginary friend."

Adamanthea leaned toward him and continued:

"Say it."

Adam's racing heartbeat started to slow down the moment those words reached deep into his mind.

Drawing out the words he'd kept to himself:

"I don't want to be here anymore. I want to go home. It's lonely… No one is here. They left." Adam started to feel like gravity was pulling him to the ground and trying to strangle the life out of him.

He'd be much happier if it would…

It was only when Lumina and Solaris left did he start to miss his family. The way they treated him.

He'd taken them for granted…

Adam had always thought his life was empty, but he had failed to cherish those who filled his world.

Those who could've made him feel whole…

They were right there, always waiting for him.

Always by his side. Willing to listen to anything on his mind. Sharing struggles, and just being there.

Wasn't that a family?

So why did he reject them like that…?

Always keeping his distance. Thinking that they may be disappointed in him or get tired of him.

He wanted to apologise to his older brother.

'I want to be there.' His brother had already gotten hitched long ago. Adam had nephews and nieces.

He wanted to return and hug them.

Tell his parents that he was sorry for leaving. That it was his fault, not theirs that he was like this.

Closed the distance that he'd kept for so long.

But how was he supposed to do that now?

Ironically, a 'void' stood in his path. He couldn't get to his own realm any more no matter how he tried.

The only option left was becoming a 'God' himself.

Gaia lived with her family in the lower realm like he did too, didn't she? She could traverse the realms.

So… didn't that mean all he needed was power?

Once he attained Godhood, he could reunite with his family once again. Tell them he was alright.

"Wouldn't that be perfect." As if reading his chaotic maelstrom of thoughts, the man laughed at him.

"Except… you're not saying everything."

"Like what?" Adam didn't seem to know what Adamanthea was saying. He was being sincere.

"Ah… You don't. So..." The slick figure leaned next to his ear and whispered: "Do you trust them?"

"Who?"

"The people around you other than family."

"…What's that have to do with anything?" He may have trust issues, but that wasn't a problem.

It had nothing to do with getting back home.

"You're a lot like me. Without others, you don't think you exist. Without others, you feel 'empty' inside. Aren't you a parasite?" That last sentence struck a chord that ignited a speak within Adam.

"…What did you call me?"

"Please don't get violent. I'm imaginary. You can't touch me. Or maybe… you can use your Divinity."

Adamanthea skipped behind him and made him remember exactly what his true power really was.

He looked at Adam's figure and spoke again:

"The Divinity that Gaia gave you is 'Birth'. If you use that, life can be created as easy as killing them. It's thanks to that Solaris and Lumina had become independent from you. They were 'born' from you."

"Stop talking."

"Alright alright. My apologies~ I'm just feeling sorry for you right now, is all. What can you do?" The slick figure looked like he felt pity towards Adam, who was real, compared to his imaginary self.

There was no rage or irritation in his tone.

Only a lighthearted whimsy…

"I'm going to become a God myself."

"Then what?"

"Go home." The miracle gamer repeated, but it felt like a snake looked at his back when he spoke up.

"And you'll say what, exactly? 'Mommy~ I am a bad boy~' You're already preparing yourself for rejection using that Taboo System of yours. Can't you come back to reality before pretending?"

"I'm being honest here."

"Yeah, sure… First you wanted immortality because you're deathly afraid of death, ironically. Then you wanted a house and some land to leisure about. It came around to you wanting to conquer the nation around my time, and now you want Godhood?"

"I'm just changing methods."

"You're sick. Talk to a therapist already. Settle down in this world. Don't you have a new family?"

"Them…?" Adam made a disgusted expression when he thought of those people in his mansion.

Some bastard who becomes strange whenever he's given a parental type role, a pervert, a little runaway princess, and the guy who almost blew off his face when he was living his life as Lumina.

Did he call that mess his family?

"Hah… You're crazy. You are." Adam felt better and smiled when he realised how off the slick man was.

How were they a family?

"Families come in different forms." Adamanthea could tell what the miracle gamer was thinking.

"No, don't give me that. They are just random bastards gathered at my house. They're nothing."

"Who are you to call them 'Nothing', Mr Empty?"

"I'm not the parasite here. They are. You are. Do you want to exist that bad? Should I make you?"

"Go ahead. Then I'll leave you the same way everyone else does." Adamanthea stopped smiling.

He put his hand over his mouth and corrected:

"That wasn't what I meant."

"No, you're not wrong there." Adam didn't seem hurt, but the wound on his heart was opened up.

A crazy obsession for attachment had arisen…

"Solaris and Lumina left for your sake. You know that yourself. Don't be like this. You don't have to try so hard for-" The imaginary figure's words no longer went through to him. His voice was fading.

[Warning: Forcibly pulling your mind out of the mental type status ailment is not recommended.]

[Warning: System cannot calculate the damages.]

"Right. No one loves me. I'm a stranger to this world. I'm alone. No one cares about me. No one loves me. No one loves me." Those last words started to repeat like a broken tape recorder.

His neck cracked trying to hold himself together.

Trying to make sure his composure wouldn't break down so easily. After all, that was mere weakness.

What? Was he gonna cry?

Would crying solve his problems? No, only the weak broke down because they were 'feeling sad'.

That's why… it was fine. All good.

'They will accept me. They have to accept me. My family… my brother… my parents… had said they will always love me for who I am.' His psyche went through rough patchwork with these thoughts.

The wound festering in his heart seeped its acid into him. Melting away his confidence little by little.

He didn't believe his own words of comfort.

Would they love him?

What would be the point if they didn't…?

Wouldn't living become worthless?

*Knock* *Knock* *Knock*

Someone came to the door. Likely Terran. Without giving him a chance to respond, the door opened.

When the blacksmith looked at the face of the figure holding a mask, he saw no signs of turmoil.

The emotions had been buried deep. No longer able to surface without the desire to express them.

[You have forcefully exited the state of 'Confusion'.]

[Lingering damage cannot be quantified.]

"What's wrong?" Adam spoke in a way that would've disoriented someone who'd saw his state.

The chaos was no longer there anymore. Only the serenity of having found a goal to work towards.

The essence to his existence…

"Pandemos is calling for you. I think enough time has been spent here with me. Agreed?" There was a slight discomfort in the dwarf-like man's tone. It likely had to do with knowing what happens next.

Adam didn't give him any false comfort.

"Agreed. Thank you for everything." He walked up to the divine blacksmith and looked him in the eye.

"You're welcome…? And what brought this on?"

"It's only thanks to you I managed to understand more about myself. About what I truly want in life."

"That's… alright…" Although Adam seemed to be talking sincerely, Terran felt something was off.

But he couldn't put his finger on what.

Maybe it was how the gamer had stopped talking about the relationship he had with his beloved wife.

There was a subtle sense of alienation mixed into that demeanour that was trying to act intimate.

The God of Fire watched on as the mortal man's figure was vanishing through the door-like portal.

He wondered if he'd given an unnecessary favour.