Darius walked...

August 2005

Darius walked one of the many paths that crisscrossed the university's grounds. Eventually, the one he currently traveled would lead him to Hill Hall where his girlfriend, Anna, lived. She'd been assigned there ever since freshman year. She tried a number of things to get a different dorm but no such luck. She ended up there year after year and hated Hell Hall. They'd been dating for the last two years and up until recently, he'd thought they were doing great. They both loved each other and were genuinely happy to be around the other.

Things changed, though.

And it was frustrating.

He was frustrated because of her recent one-word dismissals and erratic mood swings. Three weeks ago she was her normal, loving self and then all of a sudden she was just...hollow. It was like someone scooped out everything inside her that made her who she was and put nothing back in. She would barely talk to him and when she did, her words were emotionless and empty. Darius tried countless times to get her to open up, but she wasn't willing to do so. It made him angry to know that she didn't want to talk to him anymore, about anything. No matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't fix things.

So what options did that leave him with?

No good ones but he had to do something. He finally settled on a surprise attack of sorts. He thought catching her off guard was his best chance of making her actually talk to him. He had it all laid out. He'd show up, surprise her, and then guilt trip her into taking a walk with him through Hastings Park. Anna always loved nature. He thought taking her for a walk through the park, when the leaves were a mix of reds, golds, and oranges, would get her to let her guard down. He needed to find out what was wrong so he could change the direction their relationship was starting to head down.

Which was looking more and more like she was going to break up with him.

He knew he didn't want that. Anna was another matter entirely. He wasn't as sure about her feelings. Or maybe he was. Maybe he just didn't want to admit it to himself.

He turned his mind away from those dark thoughts and instead, focused on all the happy moments of their relationship. His memory flashed through several of them but finally ended with the first time they met. He'd been lost to her almost the second he saw her. He remembered her hair, which had been black and cut to fall just beneath her chin. It framed the lovely features of her face perfectly. Then there were her eyes. They shone with happiness and a warmth he rarely saw in people. It was her smile, however, that really ensnared him. She always smiled so radiantly. It was like she smiled with everything she had. He went up to her seconds after he laid eyes on her and asked her out. It had been one of the most exhilarating and scariest moments of his life. His heart had been beating super fast and his hands wouldn't stop shaking.

All that was gone now. Her smile was never genuine anymore, and her eyes looked shadowed and haunted. Something was definitely going on but he couldn't figure out what it was. What he did know was that this...thing, this mysterious thing that was bothering her, was hurting her so deeply she wasn't even herself anymore. That, in turn, was ruining their relationship.

Not for the first time since this all started happening, he realized he could lose her. Possibly forever.

He came out of his thoughts when he was almost to Anna's dorm. He walked inside a minute later, shoving every poisonous thought he had into the furthest reaches of his mind and burying them there.

He took a deep breath and headed toward the front desk. When he got to it, he swiped his card through the reader sitting on the counter. The light on the machine switched from red to green. After it did, he went up the stairs to the third floor, deciding not to ride in the elevator. He still remembered his first and last ride on the damn thing. There had been numerous screeching sounds, jerking motions, and when he finally reached his floor, the doors wouldn't open for a long time. It was enough to make anyone afraid of elevators.

After he got to the third floor he turned right and headed down the east wing of the building. As he passed the floor's common room, he looked through the large windows to see if Anna was in there. The only person he saw was the floor's resident advisor, Victoria Pance. She was a tall, skinny girl with angular features that made her look like she was always angry or annoyed about something. Her hair was pulled painfully tight into a bun, which she habitually wore. All in all, she looked like a particularly nasty librarian.

Darius quietly hurried past the windows, even ducking down so he wouldn't be seen. If Victoria caught him out in the open, she would flay him alive. Somewhere in the past he somehow pissed her off (although she refused to tell him what he did). Now, she was determined to make his life a living hell every time she saw him in her hallway.

He cleared the common room just in time. Just as he moved past it, he heard the microwave inside beep. Whatever Victoria had been making was done and she'd be coming out soon. He quickened his pace and got to Anna's door a few seconds later. He ducked into the little alcove there, hiding himself from Victoria right as the common room's door opened and shut. His heart quickened and he didn't feel like he was in the clear until he heard her going into her own room.

He breathed a sigh of relief, waited a couple seconds more just to be sure, and then approached Anna's door. The only thing on it was a dry erase/corkboard hybrid so people could leave messages for her. The board was wiped clean and a cluster of pins with colored balls on their ends were neatly arranged by color. Above the message board was a peephole that was bright from the mid-day sunshine. He wasn't afraid of bothering her roommate because Anna didn't have one. The girl that had been sharing the room with her decided to drop out of college last semester. She had it to herself now.

He approached the door and hesitated, feeling more than a little self-conscious. A stab of doubt hit him as thoughts of pushing her too hard infiltrated his resolve. It was so strong, he almost turned and walked away. The reasons for doing so were compelling after all. The biggest one being that she told him, sternly, she wanted to be alone. Several times.

His doubt, however, was outweighed by his concern.

Without stopping to think about it again, he knocked.

The sound was loud in the empty hallway. He looked around nervously in case Victoria came out to investigate the knocking. He stepped back slightly and waited…and waited some more. She was supposed to be there. She told him yesterday she was staying in.

He knocked on the door again, this time a little harder.

He continued waiting for Anna to answer and when she didn't, his imagination started running wild. Images of her invaded his mind that were so intense and horrifying, they were like tangible objects. His mind tortured him with an image of her lying on her bed with a handful of pills shoved down her throat. Then with a gaping hole in the back of her head from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Finally, with an image of her body hanging limp and lifeless from the pole in her closet with a belt noose around her neck.

He was almost positive she was depressed but he'd never given serious thought to her committing suicide. She wasn't capable of that. Atleast, that's what he would have said if asked that question even a month ago. As he stood in front of the door she still wouldn't open, his confidence in that certainty wavered and started to crumble. He was about to try and force his way in when he saw the light in the middle of the peephole suddenly darken. His heart soared with joy as he realized his fears and morbid, mental pictures were entirely baseless. The door opened, but only as slightly as Anna could possibly manage.

When Darius looked at her, the only thing he could really see was a curtain of black hair and her left eye. Her hair was longer and somewhat frizzy. Her left eye, Darius noted, was sad and filled with a deep sense of pain and anguish.

"What do you want?" Anna's voice was a lifeless monotone. She peered at him with something akin to anger, but it lacked the intensity most people have when something makes them mad.

"I thought we could go for a walk in the park." He tried to make it sound like it was the best idea in the world but he wasn't all that convincing. "The leaves have changed colors and I know how much you like to look at them. I thought we could go to the park and talk things out. You know?"

"I just want to be left alone." She started shutting the door on him.

Darius slapped his hand against it, forcing her to stop.

"What's the matter with you?" The anger and hurt he felt surged forward and colored his tone. "Why won't you tell me what's going on?"

"It's not a good time right now." Her voice was cold and her eye flashed a warning look at him. She shoved harder against the door but there was nothing she could do to stop Darius from holding it open.

"You're gonna make time. I'm tired of this shit. You act like you want nothing to do with me. You're distant to the point where you're on a whole other planet. You snap at me for no reason, even though all I'm trying to do is save this relationship and show you that I love you. Tell me I don't deserve some kind of explanation. Tell me I don't deserve at least that much and I'll leave and never come back. You can go on living whatever this is and I'll move on too."

He looked at her, trying to convey how serious he was. That's when her hair shifted and he got a good look at her other eye. The minute he saw it, raw, burning, fiery rage consumed him.

"What the hell?"

Anna's right eye was completely covered in bruises. They were dark purple and the edges were yellow-green. The flesh was swollen to the point where her eye was just a slit.

Anna saw the look on his face and terror swept through her. She tried to slam the door on him again but Darius was quicker. He managed to push his way in completely. Anna was a slight, petite girl and he outweighed her by about a hundred pounds so there was little she could do to stop him. His left hand latched onto her shoulder, pinning her in place, while his right gently traced the edges of her injury. He leaned in, trying to get a better view of the damage, but after a second or two of that, he decided he wasn't able to handle the up close and personal view. He took a step back from her, not even trying to hide the disbelief on his face.

Everything started falling into place. Her hollowness. The way she dismissed him. The way she didn't even seem like herself anymore. It was all because of one fact.

Someone was beating his girlfriend.

Every bit of anger and frustration he had toward their situation coalesced into a hard knot of determination in the pit of his stomach. A determination to find out who was abusing her and make sure they, whoever they were, never hurt her again.

He pulled her to him, her body stiff and rigid. He grabbed the tip of her chin with his thumb and forefinger. He gently tipped her face so that he could look her in the eyes. She stared back and he saw a tiny depth of emotion, of love, buried deep within her glittering brown eyes.

"Who did this to you?" Darius's voice was strained with the effort to keep any animosity he was feeling out of it. "Tell me who it is and I'll take care of it. You don't have to worry, okay?"

Anna suddenly bucked in wild terror the minute the words were out of his mouth. Her eyes were huge with fright.

"No!" She thrashed against him.

His hold on her was ripped away and he was left staring at her, dumbfounded.

"You can't do that!" She was yelling now and so out of control he actually backed up a bit.

Then his anger came back. He took a step closer to her.

"The hell I can't," he said, his voice as hard as steel. "There's no way I'm letting some piece of shit beat on you. I'm going after him. Is it your dad? Is that who's doing this to you?"

"You can't, you can't, you can't." She repeated these words over and over. She shook her head back and forth aggressively. Her hair flew around her head.

"I can't just walk away," Darius pleaded, his eyes begging her to let him help her.

"JUST LEAVE IT ALONE!" She sobbed uncontrollably now.

Darius rocked back as if she'd slapped him. He never saw her lose control like that, not even once. She rarely raised her voice and when she did, it was usually out of laughter or joy, not anger. This version of Anna was something Darius never knew existed.

He moved a bit closer to her. She collapsed to the floor with her arms wrapped tightly around her knees. She was rocking herself back and forth, still sobbing.

"Just leave." Her voice was a croaky whisper.

"If that's really what you want, then I'll go."

She nodded her head, the movement jerky and awkward looking.

Darius felt his world collapse around him.

"Okay. I'll be here for you when you finally decide to talk. You know that don't you?" Darius asked.

"I do." She nodded her head but she didn't look at him.

He turned his back on her, probably the single hardest thing he's ever had to do, and left her room. In his rush to get out of there, he almost ran headlong into Victoria. The loud crying from Anna must've summoned the she-beast.

"What are you doing here, Clarke?" Her mouth was curled into a vindictive sneer. "What's all the yelling about? I always knew you were no good. What did you do to her?"

Darius shoved his way past her and ignored what else she was about to say. At that moment, her irritating voice was dangerously close to setting him off.

Victoria looked like she might chase after him, but apparently decided against it.

As he left Anna, he felt the hard knot of determination in him start to expand rapidly, consuming his mind. He was going to find out the truth and make sure whoever was beating Anna paid for hurting her. Abusing a woman was bad enough, but whoever was physically assaulting Anna also destroyed everything he loved about her.

As far as he was concerned, they murdered her.