Chapter 13: True Intentions

I, Anna Brown, have to be one of the dumbest people I know. Somehow, I have found myself surrounded by the very people who have trampled over my heart and made me feel worthless. Even though there were good times I shared with them, any smart person would’ve ghosted them ages ago.

But here I am, trying to patch things up in our rocky relationship so that they can feel better about themselves. Yippee.

“Here, I got you your favorite!” Jessica puts a strawberry smoothie in front of me with a smile as saccharine as the contents inside.

But sugar is poison as they say.

“Thank you.” I smile back and take a sip.

“So, uh, the reason we brought you out like this is because, well…” Claire starts out, not really knowing how to go about it. “We feel terrible for leaving you like that. That should’ve never happened.”

“Yeah, like ever.” Annica emphasizes. “We were so in the wrong for that.”

“Super wrong.” Jessica adds.

Good grief.

I smile painfully. “Like I told Adam earlier, it was a scary and stressful situation. It’s understandable your first thought was to get out of there.”

“Speaking of,” Jessica slaps the back of Adam’s head. “You’re such a dick for leaving her behind! You’re a guy, you should’ve protected her!”

She talks as if she didn't leave me behind as well.

“I know,” he states, a bit resentful that Jessica shoved all the weight on him. “I was an unbelievable as*hole. Can’t really call myself a man at this point, can I?” He tries to laugh it off, but it falls on an awkward note since I myself did not join in.

Geez, this is painful to sit through. I shouldn’t have come after all. Although it was kind of hard to decline with him practically forcing me to go. The quicker we get through this, the better.

“Look guys,” I earn their undivided attention. “I appreciate you all treating me to this and apologizing for what happened. So, why don’t we just say this is water under the bridge and move on?”

They all glance at each other.

“Does that mean…we can be friends again?” Jessica reluctantly asks.

I sigh, rolling my shoulders back. Time to expose myself.

“You know, I’ve kind of been hiding something from all of you,” I admit. Surprised, they keep silent, allowing me to continue. “I’ve always wanted to be a better version of myself. So much so, that I thought changing who I was entirely was the way to go about it. When in reality, it made me become the opposite.”

I twist the cup in my hand. A part of me just wants to end it there, but I need to say it. This needs to get off my chest.

“I didn’t become friends with you guys with the best of intentions. I wanted to be as, if not more, popular than my sister. That way, I could finally live my life without being compared to her as second place. So, I’m sorry for not being genuine in my friendship with you all.”

Jessica lowers her head to the floor, looking down at her heels.

Claire eyes me sadly. “So…this is it, huh?”

I nod.

“I want to work on myself. I want to change, but in the right way this time. Maybe one day, we could all chat about how ridiculous this was,” I laugh. “But for now, I want to do what’s best for me. Which, I think, may be good for you all, too.”

Adam and the girls didn’t know how to register my proposition. A part of them looks a little sad…maybe guilty? I know we’ve all been using each other, but I at least want to acknowledge my own faults in this. I don’t expect them to do the same, and that’s fine.

“Wow…you know, I’m actually happy for you, Anna.” Annica suddenly says, earning everyone’s attention at the table. They look just as shocked as I am.

“W-What? It’s just…even after everything that happened, these past few days you’ve looked…I dunno, happy? Like you’re actually enjoying yourself.” She scratches her head. “I don’t know what you’re doing now, but keep doing it. Seems like it’s helping you become what you’ve always wanted.”

I could feel a genuine smile slip on my face this time. She meant that.

“Thanks, Annica. I appreciate that a lot-”

“Um, Anna.” Jessica bites her lip. She looks anxious to say something. “We…well, there’s something we…” her voice trails off glancing at everyone’s face.

“Yes?” I ask.

“We…wish you good luck with everything.” She says with a pained smile.

It doesn’t seem to be everything she wants to say, but there’s no need to push for it since I’m just about done here.

I nod.

“Now that that’s settled, I have to go. I had a previous arrangement with someone, so I guess I’ll see you around campus-”

“W-wait, Anna!” As I’m about to walk out, Adam takes my hand and stands in front of me, earning many looks our way.

What is happening?

“I want to start over.”

No, seriously, what the f*ck is going on? I thought we were done saying our farewells, why are we still trying this? Even the girls look surprised.

“I’ve had feelings for you ever since we first met. I know I f*cked up really bad this time, but I want us to try again. I…I want to be your boyfriend, Anna.” He looks so earnest, almost as if he’s about to cry.

What are we in, some cheesy rom-com reality TV show? What in the world compelled him to do something like this, with so many people around no less?

The sound of someone hitting record on their phone catches my attention.

Wait a minute.

I glance around the room, seeing a few evil grins before I feel something cold drip down my head and onto my shoulders. A little slosh of red hits my hand. My drink is no longer on the table.

I turn to the culprit who happens to be Claire. Although she didn’t hesitate to dump it on me, her face didn’t look very confident in her actions.

“Ha ha, nice Adam.” Oscar comes from behind me and pats said athlete on the back, raising him up to his feet. “Didn’t think you’d go with a confession bit. You’re definitely one of us now.”

Adam actually looks a bit taken aback, like he didn’t know this would happen.

“You too, girls!” A high pitch voice rings, and I feel like I want to just disappear.

I should’ve known Taylor was behind all of this.

“You’ve graduated into my clique! We gotta get matching bracelets together!”

Even though I can’t see them, they don’t sound as excited as Taylor. Then, what was all of this for? A promotion?

Rather than being embarrassed, my heart goes rigid. The light in my eyes dim. I’m done trying. I can no longer see any good in these people.

“Aw, are you shocked, Anna? That you were never really one of us?” Taylor pokes her head into my peripheral, smiling at the strawberry drink staining my hoodie. “Don’t tell me you actually thought any of them liked you?”

It sucks when you put your hope in the wrong places. In the wrong people. I really thought I saw a flicker of an honest connection with them. But no matter how hard I fight against reason, believing that there could be change, there never is.

My eyes grow hot. I really am pathetic.

“Is my poor ‘sister’ about to cry? Need me to get my mom and dad for you? They always seem so eager to come to your rescue even though you’re not their real daughter.” Taylor whispers the last part with such wickedness it makes me feel sick. “All these years you tried to be like me, wanting to be a part of everything I’m in. Well, this is my way of saying that you never will be. You’ve never belonged anywhere.”

Although the people closest to us could definitely hear how nasty Taylor is being, they keep their mouths shut. They finally got what they wanted. A better reputation for a bunch of people who don’t actually give a sh*t about them.

I sigh. Just let her laugh it out, and it’ll all be over soon.

“Wow, what a b*tch.”

My heart leaps seeing Sam walk up to us, arms crossed.

“And who the hell are you?” Oscar steps in front of Taylor who quickly hides behind his back.

“Funny that you answered me. I didn’t know you were a b*tch, too. But hey, who am I to judge?” She smirks. “I was talking to b*tch number one.”

“You b*tch-” Oscar pulls up a fist, but Sam only smiles, unbothered.

“Hey now, I’m not like you two. My name’s Sam. And I’m her friend.” She takes my hand and pulls me behind her, shielding me from Taylor’s scowl. “And I’m not going to stand here and let you continue talking sh*t about her.”

I could just about cry right now.

A warm sensation trickles down my cheeks.

Oh yeah, there it is.

“What, you’re coming to her rescue now?” Taylor giggles.

“Nah, not me.” A devilish smirk graces Sam’s lips. “But he is.”

She motions her head behind them.

I look in the same direction and freeze on the spot. At the entrance, Ray is blocking the door with a glare that could kill.

Oscar immediately shrinks back.

Ray’s eyes flick to me and I am petrified.

His face darkens at the sight of the milkshake dripping down my head.

“Who the f*ck did this to you?”