Chapter 29

The giant bird didn't drop me in the ocean.

Or shit on my head.

My life didn't end, drowned in water, or eaten by a kraken.

Nor did the mermaids get their fins on me. Which I assumed was a good thing. It didn't bode well that they'd shown up after the sea monster did. As for the trying to get me into the water...not cool.

Not cool at all.

The giant birds were kind of awesome once I got over my initial shock. Big, majestic things, their plumage a mix of white, gray, black, and brown. Conan yelled that they were no better than seagulls when one holding him had a wet flatulence moment. I couldn't blame him for yodeling again when he got dipped into the water and rinsed.

My ride thankfully didn't bring me anywhere near the water. I don't know what I would have done if it had. It terrified me. There was so much of it everywhere. And that monster...