ch 14 - humanity's darkness

Le Fay Pendragon didn't really care about the Khoas Brigade or its cause. If asked, she would gladly tell everyone that the only reason she even joined this group was because of her brother, Arthur Pendragon, who had been swayed to join with the promise of getting to battle against powerful holy sword users. Knowing of her brother's insatiable desire for combat against other swordsmen, and his somewhat snobbish personality, she had followed him in order to keep him out of trouble, which was a lot harder than it looked.

Especially when all they had her doing at the moment was standing guard.

Standing beside her was Bikou, the descendant of Sun Wukong, and another silent figure, one that towered over them both. Its form composed of stone, it stood, a silent sentinel that appeared to be made from thousands of boulders both large and small. The very crude-looking golem was her latest magical creation. Its unstable body rattled every so often, and Le Fay knew it wouldn't do much in a prolonged fight, but since they were just guarding a single prisoner, it was okay.

Besides, they needed all the help they could get. None of the other factions wanted the job, it seemed, as all had refused when asked. Thus, the task of guarding the one known as Uzumaki Naruto was up to them.

Bikou stretched his arms above his head.

"Man, this is so boring. I thought this Naruto guy would have at least made some noise by now."

"Why would he do that, Bikou-sama?" Le Fay asked curiously. She hadn't heard much about this Naruto person, other than that he was an annoying fly who had a bad habit of running his mouth off, according to her brother.

"Because he's an interesting guy who loves causing trouble," Bikou answered, grinning. Le Fay assumed he was remembering something their captive had done. "He's a lot like me—except neither as dashing nor as skilled as I am—and is always getting up to no good. Thinking on it, he actually reminds me of a sly old fox."

Le Fay had yet to actually meet Naruto. No one was allowed into or out of the chamber they were guarding—or so her brother had ordered. There was even a slot drilled into the door for when they had to feed him.

She was actually kind of surprised Bikou had even heeded Arthur's orders. He was never one to listen to Arthur, which was actually a cause for contention among them.

"Oh… I wonder if that's why my Arthur-nii-sama dislikes him so much."

"Most definitely," Bikou agreed, "Your brother's a real stick in the mud—no offense—so it's only natural that someone who knows how to have fun would get on his nerves."

"That's not a very nice thing to say about my nii-sama…"

"But it's true, isn't it? Heck, I'm surprised that even you can get along with your brother. You've got such a vibrant and outgoing personality that it's hard to imagine you two are even related."

"You think so?"

Le Fay had never really thought about it before. Her brother was her brother and she loved him very much. She wouldn't have followed him to join the Khaos Brigade, abandoning her position at the Magician's Association known as Golden Dawn, if she didn't.

"I know so."

"What'cha guys talking about?"

Le Fay turned to answer the voice that spoke up in her left ear. "We're just talking about my brother and how he doesn't… doesn't… eh?"

The descendant of Morgan Le Fay stared at the young man she'd never met before. Eyes as blue as the azure sky were set on the boyish face of a teen nearing full-maturity. Six whiskers on either cheek marred sunkissed skin. They were actually kind of cute. His dark black pants with orange trim ruffled as he moved. A dark orange shirt adorning his frame hid broad shoulders and a chiseled chest. He was also tall, not as tall as Bikou, but at least a head and shoulders taller than her. He was eating a bowl of ramen.

"Wha—how did you get out of this cell?!" Bikou shouted, causing Le Fay to feel confusion.

"Um." The young man with bright blond hair blinked. "I just walked out through the door."

Bikou gawked some more.

"That's not possible. We've had people guarding this door around the clock. There's no way you could have escaped without us knowing about it. Even if you could escape, I would have detected your chakra signature moving, but it hasn't moved from this room since we put you in there."

The man shrugged and continued slurping up his ramen. "I don't know what to tell. Maybe your ability to detect chakra signatures just sucks."

Rather than get angry, Bikou snorted. "You really are an amusing guy, you know that?"

"So you've told me. Numerous times, I might add."

"Um, Bikou-sama?" Le Fay gathered the attention of her partner and the blond man, who she pointed at with her staff. "Who is this?"

It wasn't Bikou who answered.

"I'm glad you asked, little lady! Allow me to introduce myself!"

All of the lights turned off, which Le Fay found weird because they didn't have any lights to turn off in the first place. The light in this hallway came from sunlight that filtered through the glass roof above their heads. And why was she suddenly hearing strange kabuki music in the background?

"From the east to the west, I am known far and wide as the greatest ninja to have ever exist, a man whose power is undeniable and whose strength of will is unquestionable. I have gone by many names: hero, sage, the manliest man this side of mansville."

A spotlight appeared in the room, allowing only a small circle of light to appear before her, revealing the blond man who stood in the center making a weird pose.

"In my time I have also been called The Great Gama-Sennin of Mount Myoboku, the Hero of Konohagakure, the Slayer of Evil, the Level 100 Master Head Petter and the Boyfriend of Rias Gremory. However, you may call me Uzumaki Naruto-sama!"

She watched the man calling himself Uzumaki Naruto hop from one foot to the other. What a strange dance. Was this some kind of ancient ritual? And he called himself Naruto. Wasn't Naruto the person they were supposed to be guarding?

"Um, excuse me, Naruto-sama," Le Fay said, getting Naruto to stop dancing. "But are you, by chance, the person we're supposed to guard until Ophis-sama gets back?"

Naruto adopted a thinking pose, left hand on his chin, right hand underneath his left elbow. "Hmm, yes, I believe that I am."

"Right." Le Fay nodded to herself—until the situation caught up to her and she began gawking at him. "What are you doing out of your room?!"

"I got bored, so I left."

"You left?" Blink. "Because you were bored?" More blinking. "But how?"

"Um, I just walked out the front door. You guys didn't see me?"

"No," Bikou said dryly, clearly not believing a word this man said. Le Fay wasn't sure she believed him either. Surely they would have noticed this door opening and someone as cheerful as him walking out of it. "We didn't, and where did you get that ramen?"

At the mention of his ramen, Naruto slurped up some of the noodly goodness. "Found it lying around."

"Can I have some?"

"Hell no! Get your own ramen!"

"Tch, stingy."

Le Fay Pendragon watched as Naruto and Bikou argued back and forth over, of all things, ramen. She studied the one they were supposed to watch carefully. It startled her to see how carefree he acted, like he wasn't even worried about how he'd been kidnapped by a group of unknown people. He just stood there, bantering with one of his kidnappers like being taken from everything you knew and loved was an everyday occurrence for him. What an odd man.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO MY HAIR?!"

Just then, a scream erupted from somewhere in the base. She didn't know where, but it must have been either really close or really loud. This section of their base was located in a wing as far from the epicenter as you could get. It was basically an abandoned section, with only Naruto taking up residence there.

"Was that Arthur-nii-sama?"

"Hehehe, yep."

"Why was he screaming like that?"

"Let me guess, you played a prank on him, didn't ya boyo?"

"Oh, so now you're calling me boyo? You can't keep changing my nickname like that, you know, and of course I played a prank on him. He needs to loosen up, and pranks are a great way to let loose."

"Kekeke! I should have known you would do something like this. You've been far too quiet since we captured you."

"Speaking of me being captured, you mentioned that the reason is because your leader wants to speak with me. Why hasn't this Ophis character come back yet? Shouldn't she have met with this Vali guy by now?"

Bikou shrugged.

"Who can say? I'm sure she's got her reasons."

Just then, more shouting emerged from the hallway. Le Fay thought it was getting closer.

"UZUMAKI NARUTO! YOU SHALL PAY FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO MY HAIR!"

"Uh oh. Sounds like someone's angry."

Naruto seemed intent on avoiding her brother, because he quickly finished off his ramen, then wandered back over to the door that she and Bikou were guarding. It really made her wonder if they should even guard this door, since Naruto could apparently escape without them even knowing it.

The door opened and Naruto turned to Bikou.

"If Arthur asks, I never left this room."

Bikou gave the spiky-headed man an amused look.

"Of course."

Naruto nodded, then turned to Le Fay, who suddenly realized that this was the first time she'd actually met their captive.

Deciding that he couldn't be all bad if he and Bikou were talking like old friends, she offered the boy a bright smile and a wave.

"Hello, Naruto-sama. It's very nice to meet you."

"Nice to meet you, too," Naruto sounded amused. He turned to Bikou and pointed at her. "I like this girl. She's polite, unlike you and the stick wielder."

"Kekeke, I bet you just like her because she's cute."

"There's that, too."

Le Fay didn't really know what to say about that, so she didn't say anything. She did become startled, however, when Naruto grabbed her by the hand and began dragging her into his room.

"Um, Naruto-sama, what are you doing?"

Naruto turned and gave her a very serious look.

"If I'm going to be cooped in this room, then I'm going to need someone to talk to. Between you, the monkey, and the stone man over there, I would much rather talk to you. That's not a problem, is it?"

Le Fay honestly considered the question. Technically speaking, she didn't think they were supposed to be getting chummy with Naruto. Then again, she wasn't even sure why they were sent to capture him in the first place. However, she assumed Ophis wanted this man to join her cause, and if that was indeed the case, then it might be a good idea if she and the others got to know him. He already knew Bikou and Kuroka and her brother, but he didn't know who she was. Therefore, wouldn't it make sense if they talked and got to know each other a little better?"

"Sure!" She replied cheerfully. Le Fay was sure that Ophis wouldn't mind. Ophis didn't seem to care what they did with their free time; how else could she explain the chaotic state the Khaos Brigade was in with its constant infighting between factions?

"Great!" Came the equally cheerful reply of Naruto. Thus, the two blonds walked into Naruto's room, the door closing behind them.

"What up, boss man," another Naruto said from where he lay on the bed, "Finished your… errands?"

"Yep," Naruto replied to the other Naruto while Le Fay stood there blinking, "All finished. Thanks for playing chakra sonar for me."

"No prob," the Naruto on the bed said before popping in a literal burst of smoke.

Le Fay turned to Naruto.

"Who was that?"

"My clone."

"You can create clones?"

"Yep," Naruto grinned, "I can do a lot of other things, too. Maybe someday you'll get to see what I can do."

Several seconds later, Arthur Pendragon stormed the down the hall like a man possessed. Le Fay heard him stop at the door and begin screaming at Bikou.

"Let me in that room!"

"Sorry, no can do," came the reply, "You know we're not supposed to let him out-on your orders, I might add. By the way, nice hair."

"Shut up! Don't talk about my hair! Don't even look at my hair! And I'm repealing that order, so let me in that room right now!"

"Just why do you want to go into this room anyway? Gotta crush?"

"S-S-S-SHUT UP! Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

"Man, when did you become a tsundere?"

"WHO'S A TSUNDERE?!"

"Kekeke. You know all this shouting and yelling isn't helping your case."

"GRA!"

The sound of Arthur's screaming echoed through the room. Le Fay looked at Naruto as the sound of Arthur's angry stomps receded. He was sitting on the ground, leaning against the bed while she claimed the bed for herself, her legs crossed indian-style on the mattress. The young devil's bright blue eyes were alight with mischief, and he had shoved his fist into his mouth to keep from laughing.

"What did you do to him?" she asked curiously.

Naruto looked up at her with the bright, shining eyes of a child who'd managed to escape punishment after successfully stealing a cookie from the cookie jar.

"I dyed his hair bright pink and gave him cornrows."

Le Fay stared at the young man for several seconds.

Then began giggling.

And thus, a new friendship was born.

~Devil Ninja~

Rias sat on the couch, waiting. Her eyes surveyed the room. It didn't look like much. The walls were bare of life; no tokens, no pictures, no mementos from the past. A cream colored floor defined much of the rooms surface, save where it changed to tile several meters to her left, signifying the room turning into a kitchen. A staircase on the other side led to the loft.

Kiba's studio apartment hadn't changed since she last saw it. It remained much the same as it always had. Neat. Clean. Tidy. Impersonal. Perhaps this was because he rarely ever spent time in this place. She had bought this for him so that he would have a place to return to and rest after school and finishing contracts, but that's all this place seemed to be. It wasn't home.

The sound of the door opening and closing alerted her to someone entering. Kiba stood in the doorway, taking off his shoes.

He hadn't noticed her yet.

"I was wondering when you would show up."

Kiba's head snapped up. His eyes widened when he saw her. He turned around and tried to flee.

Rias snapped her fingers.

All around them several magic circles with the Gremory clan crest flared into the existence. They were everywhere; the walls, the floor, the ceiling… and the door.

"This spell is a magical barrier that I devised with the help of Naruto. The magic circles are placed in an overlapping pattern both inside and outside of this space to create a single, much larger seal that is twenty times more powerful than what it would be if I simply created a bunch of smaller seals." Rias smiled at the memory. Her boyfriend acted like an idiot, but he had some incredible ideas locked away inside of that goofy head of his. "Low and mid-class devils can't break it."

Kiba hadn't turned around. His shoulders were unnaturally stiff.

"Look, Rias, I understand that you might not like what I'm trying to do—"

"You're damn right I don't like what you're trying to do," Rias's words were calm, yet contained a hint of her anger, "You think that going off on your own and leaving us, your family, to worry for your safety is the right thing to do? Or do you just not care what we think at all?"

Kiba winced.

"I know what you're going through, Kiba."

"You don't know what I'm going through," came the soft reply, "How could you, when you've never experienced what I have. You couldn't possibly understand—"

"Then make me understand!" Rias stood from her seat, shouting. "You stand here talking about how I don't know anything, as if I'm not aware of what happened to you, as if I don't know what the church did. I am well aware of what they did. I was the one who saved you, in case you forgot. So don't just stand there, telling me that I don't understand. If there is something I'm not getting here, then tell me!"

Silence. Her words were met with silence. Kiba said nothing for the longest time, and she just stood there, waiting. She would wait for as long as necessary. Kiba couldn't escape from this room without killing her, and she was confident that he would not do such a thing. He wasn't lost to her yet.

"You know of my history, buchou. I was an orphan who was picked up by the church. They offered me a place to stay, food, a warm bed, a roof over my head and friends to share it with. I thought it was almost too good to be true." A mirthless chuckle. "Turns out I was right."

Rias didn't say anything. While she knew what happened, it was not because of anything Kiba said. Her brother had found out what was happening and decided not to interfere, as it did not involve devils. Being the curious girl that she was, Rias had gone to where the experiment known as the Holy Sword Project had taken place and it was there, in a snow covered forest, that she found her knight.

"It didn't happen right away, the disappearances. We were first given a place to call home, were fed warm food, given beds and had a roof over our head. It was everything the church said it would be, and we were all so very happy. And then my friends began disappearing."

Kiba shuddered, his body suffused with barely suppressed emotions.

"One by one my friends vanished into thin air. The priests told us that we couldn't see our friends because they had been selected to help them bring about God's work. That they were doing a great service to the church and would surely be rewarded for their efforts. Even though we were sad that our friends weren't able to see us anymore, we were happy because we thought that our friends were helping God." Kiba's bitter chuckle almost brought Rias to tears. "We never even realized what was truly happening until much later."

Kiba paused. Rias used this moment to center herself. What her knight was telling her now was something that he had never shared with anyone. This was the heart of his hatred.

"They eventually stopped being so secretive about what was happening, and they stopped pretending that our friends had been sent off to some far away place. Some of my friends would be taken somewhere else, then brought back as sobbing wrecks, their bodies wracked with unimaginable pain. However, even then we did not hate the church. We believed with all our hearts that we were doing God's work. We had faith, the belief that if we could just hold on a little longer, just endure a little more, then we would eventually be rewarded."

"But you weren't," the first words Rias had spoken since Kiba began his story. It wasn't a question.

"No, we weren't. I can only assume that, at some point, they must have gotten whatever they wanted, or maybe they just deemed everyone there as failures and planned on starting from scratch. I don't really know. All I remember are the choked screams of my friends as gas was leaked into our bedrooms one night. Half of us never even got a chance to run. Most inhaled too many fumes and died before we even knew something was wrong. They were the lucky ones, those few that died quickly. The rest of us weren't so lucky."

Rias's shoulders began to shake. She knew that crying would not be the right thing to do. Kiba did not want her pity, so she would not give it to him, even if it meant sucking up her own feelings of sorrow.

"I remember those of us who managed to escape were gunned down from behind. A few of the braver ones turned and ran back to protect the younger ones. It didn't matter though. All of us were gunned down one by one, until only I was left."

Rias held a hand to her mouth and stifled her sob.

"You want to know what the worst part about all this is? The worst part about all of this isn't just knowing that my friends died, but that their deaths were in vain. That they died for nothing. The holy sword project, which tried turning regular humans into potential holy sword users that could wield Excalibur, was a failure, and all they had to show for it was a pile of corpses. Perhaps, if the project had been successful, if my friends deaths had achieved a greater purpose, maybe then things would have been different, maybe I wouldn't be this bitter. But it wasn't, and now I am haunted by my friends deaths, of the people I loved who died in vain, of how I didn't have the power to protect them."

Kiba raised his hands and looked down at them, clenching and unclenching. Rias could imagine the mirthless smile on his face.

"Naruto would probably hate me. He was always going on about how revenge and hatred solves nothing."

"No, he wouldn't," Rias said with absolute surety, "Naruto isn't capable of hating a friend. He's barely even capable of hating an enemy. He wouldn't approve of the hatred you feel, but he would at least understand it."

"And what about you? Do you think it's wrong for me to feel this hatred? To want revenge?"

"Of course not," Rias shook her head, "I am a devil. I know a lot about negative emotions, and I know how those strong those emotions can be in a human. Feeling hatred toward someone who has wronged you is a natural feeling. Everybody who has ever lived has felt hatred—even Naruto. Love and hate, happiness and sadness, completion and loss. One cannot feel one emotion without feeling the other. They go hand in hand with each other."

"Yes," Kiba said faintly, "I suppose they do." A pause. "After seeing how you and Naruto act around each other, it is easy to forget how… worldly, you are."

"Worldly," Rias tested the word, "I guess that fits, in a way. As a pureblood devil, I am an embodiment of desire. The sins that humanity calls deadly are what drives our kind forward. Lust. Gluttony. Greed. Sloth. Envy. Pride… Wrath. We embody these traits fully, however, the mark of a good devil is to never let these traits control you. We are always in control of our emotions and never let our emotions control us."

"And that is why I am worried about you."

Kiba stiffened. Rias walked forward with slow, delicate steps.

"Ever since the holy sword users arrived, I have watched you descend into darkness. I've seen your hatred manifesting in ways that make me worry for you. I see you lash out at people, isolate yourself from your friends, and I worry that if you keep letting these emotions control you, then you will slip farther and farther away from me and the others. And I do not want that."

Rias reached Kiba, stopping behind him. She placed her hands on his shoulders, which caused Kiba to stiffen. Ignoring his response, she slowly turned him around until they were facing each other.

Then she hugged him.

It was almost amusing to see the startled look etched on his face right before she grabbed his head and pulled it to her chest. She wrapped her arms around him, cradling his head on her bosom, her hands gently stroking his hair.

"You are my Knight, Kiba, a member of my peerage and a part of my family. I love you very much and I refuse to let you go. Even if you try pushing me away, I will always be there for you."

Something wet stained Rias's shirt. Tears, she realized. Kiba's tears.

"If it is revenge that you seek, then I, as your King, shall do everything in my power to make sure that you can have your revenge." The tears increased, soaking into her shirt and expanding outward from her chest. "The only thing that I will ever ask of you is this: do not abandon us for the sake of revenge. Allow us to walk alongside you. Rely on us, on me, and promise to never leave my peerage again."

"I promise," Kiba's sobbing voice choked out. "I promise, I'll never leave you. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Everything is alright now. Just let it all out," Rias murmured, stroking Kiba's head with the tenderness of a mother comforting her child.

~Devil Ninja~

Naruto ate lunch with Le Fay Pendragon and Bikou. They no longer confined him to his room—probably because he kept sneaking out. It didn't matter either way. All that Naruto cared about was eating lunch with his two… friends? He considered Le Fay a friend, but he wasn't sure about Bikou. Pranking rival would be more accurate.

He spent a lot of time with these two, more than he did the other two; Arthur and Kuroka. The holy sword user didn't like him and he didn't like Kuroka. It had nothing to do with her personality. Naruto was sure that, had their circumstances been different, they would have gotten along famously. He was just being stubborn. Kuroka left Koneko to fend for herself, and Naruto loved the younger Nekousho. Getting along with Kuroka while Koneko hadn't forgiven her sister felt too much like betrayal to him.

"No way!" Le Fay looked at him in shock, her face red and breathless from giggling. Bikou couldn't even say that much. He was too busy laughing. "Did you really?"

"I shit you not," Naruto grinned, "When I was twelve years old, I painted the monument that possessed the faces of all my village leaders in broad daylight, wearing nothing but a bright orange jumpsuit."

"Get out of here. I don't believe you."

"I believe him," Bikou nodded, still cackling like a, well, like a monkey, Naruto supposed. Did monkeys cackle? Son Goku sure hadn't. His belly laugh had been rumbling. "That sounds exactly like something he would do."

Their mirth halted, if only for a moment, as a flushed red Arthur sat down next to them.

"Not. A. Word," the young man spat.

A single second of silence ensued. Then Bikou, Le Fay and Naruto began laughing once more with renewed ferocity.

Arthur Pendragon, descendant of Morgan Le Fay and the man whose namesake he was born from, looked like he'd been dipped in rainbow-colored tie-dye. His face was a facet of numerous psychedelic colors. It would not be inaccurate to say that he looked like an American Hippy from the 70s who took the idea of tie dying stuff just a little too far-or maybe a man who ate too many skittles and was finally paying the price.

"Oh, Kami!" Naruto exploded. "You look absolutely ridiculous!"

Arthur's face turned red. At least Naruto thought it had turned red. It was hard to tell since he looked like a carnie gone wrong.

"Shut up!" he spat. "This is all your fault! You and your damn pranks!"

Naruto just grinned.

"Hate to break it to you, but this time it wasn't me."

Arthur, in his embarrassment induced rage, didn't even seem to catch the "this time" part of Naruto's words.

"Wasn't you? But if it wasn't you then who…" His eyes widened, right before they began smouldering. "BIKOU!"

Bikou was also grinning.

"Kekeke! What's the problem? I think you look good like that. You could probably even start a new trend. We'll call it 'Psychedelic Sacred Gear.'"

Being the apparent nicest of the trio, Le Fay Pendragon decided to soothe her brother's anger.

"Please stop having fun at Arthur-nii-sama's expense like this, Bikou-sama, Naruto-sama."

"I don't know… what do you think?" Bikou asked Naruto, who looked genuinely thoughtful.

"Well, normally I would say not a chance in hell—" Le Fay pouted "—but since Fay-chan is the one asking, I guess I can stop. We need to find a new target anyway. Pranking Arthur is just too easy."

Arthur grumbled before making the apparent decision to ignore them. A figure soon appeared before them. Multiple figures. Naruto sensed their presence before they reached them, but ignored the group until their shadows hovered over him.

"Can we help you?" Naruto asked with a bored expression.

"I had not realized you were allowed to leave your cell," was the response, "Are we letting prisoners out now? How can you deal with this devil anyway? Bikou I could understand. He's not human. But you, Le Fay? Arthur? Leaving my faction wasn't enough? Why have you decided to befriend this devil?"

"He's not my friend, stupid git," Arthur mumbled and was subsequently forced to suck in a breath when Le Fay elbowed him.

"Be nice, nii-sama."

"... Sorry."

"You're not sorry at all."

Naruto looked up at Cao Cao, surrounded by three members of his faction. His vision trailed to a blond woman, beautiful, with an even more beautiful smirk that reminded him of a pit of vipers. A large man that towered over everyone else, heavily muscled, and with his arms crossed over his chest. His expression spoke of arrogance and disdain. Another man with silver hair stared, not at him but at Arthur, glaring daggers into the swordsman who did the same thing. Rivals, perhaps?

"Is there a reason you're bothering us?" Naruto asked mildly, honestly curious. The so-called Hero Faction of the Khaos Brigade, as he learned they called themselves from Le Fay, did not appear to like him very much, for reasons that he couldn't understand.

"I was not talking to you."

What a rude remark. This Cow Cow wasn't earning any points with him.

"I see. In that case, why are you bothering my friends? Don't you have better things to do, like, you know, getting the base some milk or something?"

Cao Cao twitched, but kept his cool. Damn. It seemed the idiot was learning.

"I would not expect a devil like you to understand. Then again, I am also surprised that you would stick up for devils." Ah, here it goes again. "Being a devil who has been resurrected under the Evil Piece System, don't you feel angry at those devils for what they have done to you? For forcing you to serve them, and all because they sought the power you contain for themselves?"

"Not really," Naruto shrugged, "Why should I? It's not like I was doing anything worthwhile with my life. I simply drifted along until they came and helped me put the pieces of what I had once been back together. If anything, I consider myself grateful for getting a second chance."

"Then you are truly lost," Cao Cao shook his head.

"Says the man who's got his head shoved so far up his own ass I doubt he'd know which way is out."

"You'd better watch your mouth, blondie," the heavily muscled man, who Naruto knew as Heracles, growled at him.

"I'm not sure how you expect me to do that, unless you want me looking at a mirror all day. But, if you want me looking at the mouth of a hot blond, then I could always just look at Fay-chan's pretty little mouth. She's hot." While Le Fay flushed at the blunt statement, Arthur growled. "Of course, I suppose I could also look at Jeane's mouth, but it looks like it might start spitting poison, so I'd rather not."

"Kekeke, you've got such a way with words," Bikou chuckled. The one known as Jeanne glared at him.

"Like I would want to have a devil looking at any part of me."

Naruto's smirk was devilish.

"Don't worry, we devils have standards, and while you're undeniable hot, your personality leaves much to be desired. I can't see anything attractive about you when all I see is this ugly bitch who froths at the mouth when someone steals her panties."

"THAT WAS YOU!"

"Of course that was me," Naruto ignored the gaping jaws being sent his way and Jeane's accusing finger, "Who else would steal a person's panties and do some interior decorating with them?" A pause. "Except for maybe Bikou."

"Kekeke!"

"Shut up, you damn monkey!" Jeanne snapped at Bikou, then turned her ire back on Naruto. "You fucking perv! I should kill you where you stand!"

"Bring it, bitch," Naruto grinned at the woman, smacking his left fist into his right palm, "I'll kick your ass so hard my foot will smack your womb!"

Jeanne's face turned puce with anger.

"You… you…"

Cao Cao raised a hand to silence Jeane. Naruto had to admit, he might not like this arrogant son of a bitch, but the man had charisma.

"It bothers me that you refuse to see the inherent wrongness of the Evil Piece System," Cao Cao shook his head sadly, "As someone who was resurrected while on the verge of death, surely you of all people could understand why humanity should be wary of devil kind. Don't you feel even the least bit annoyed by how your humanity was forcefully taken from you, without you even being given a chance to deny them? They sacrificed your ability remain human, without your consent, and all for the selfishness of a she-devil who has no trouble enslaving you to her will."

Naruto frowned.

"You say that like devils are the only ones capable of committing evil deeds when that couldn't be farther from the truth. Humans are more than capable of committing great sins upon other humans. Devils enslaving humans against their will? Humans are more than happy to enslave each other on their own. I've seen it. Humans hurt people for their gain. They kill out of greed, out of hate, out of jealousy. If anything, the creatures that humanity should be most wary of aren't the inhuman entities that exist, but their own species, who have proven time and time again that they have no trouble enslaving their fellow humans."

Naruto stared Cao Cao down, unbothered by the irritation his words caused the other man.

"And I would be careful when making comments about my girlfriend. Insult Rias Gremory again and you'll become the latest victim of the One Thousand Years of Death: Uzumaki-style."

Arthur leaned over to his sister and put a hand to his mouth.

"What's this One Thousand Years of Death that he speaks of?"

Le Fay shrugged.

"Beats me."

Cao Cao's eyes lingered on Naruto a bit longer, then he scoffed.

"It seems that nothing I say will change your mind. And here I was thinking you might be able to understand, seeing how you were once human, but I guess not. I almost forgot how bewitched you were with that Gremory she-devil. How repulsive."

Okay, now that made Naruto angry.

"Repulsive is seeing your ugly mug every day. Now why don't you just mooove on back the way you came. I'd like to continue eating lunch with my friends here, and you're ruining the mood."

Heracles took a step forward, snarling and spitting.

"I don't like the way you're talking. Keep it up and I may have to rearrange your face."

"Oh?" Naruto stood up from his seat. Blood began pumping through his veins. He could hear a deep hum in the confines of his mind. It wasn't a literally hum, but the metaphorical kind that came when he called upon his chakra. "If you think you can take me on then be my guest. I'd love to show you what happens when you screw with the great Uzumaki Naruto-sama."

The tension thickened. Heracles glared at Naruto, who returned the look with a fierce grin. Several people around them held their breaths. No one spoke. All of them watched and waited to see who would make the first move.

And that's when it happened. That's when Naruto felt it, the powerful presence that appeared out of nowhere.

"Kurama."

"I feel it. Whoever this person is their power is nearly on par with my own."

"This person must be their leader."

"I suspect so. Be careful, Naruto. While I have confidence that we can beat whoever this person is together, I'm not sure if we can deal with them and all of these people; humans, yokai, devils, at the same time. There is a lot of power in this place, and a prolonged battle with whoever this person is, whatever they are, may end badly for us."

"I'll keep that in mind."

It didn't take long for Naruto to discover the source of this power. She stood only a few meters away, near the entrance to the mess hall. She was short. Really short. Her hair appeared darker than night, twilight tresses that trailed down to her hips and with bangs framed a pair of gray eyes. He could just barely make out pointed ears hidden beneath her hair. Standing next to her was a handsome man with silver hair and an arrogant, battle hungry smirk.

From across the distance, the girl's eyes locked with Naruto's. She regarded him inquisitively, her head tilting. In return, Naruto stared back, his expression giving nothing away.

His right hand did twitch, however.

"You are the one whose power I felt not too long ago," she said. He noted that her voice sounded cute—even if it was completely lacking of emotions. "The resurrected devil known as Uzumaki Naruto, who played in a recent rating game and summoned that incredible power to destroy the one known as Rizer Phenex. I am glad that you have agreed to meet with me. I have a proposal for you."

Naruto didn't say anything at first. He simply stood there, regarding the girl in a manner that made some of the people around him very, very uncomfortable.

Finally…

"You're adorable. Can I pet you?"

…

"... Eh?"

~Devil Ninja~

Rias allowed her body to soak in the hot water. She had just come back from speaking with Kiba. Her heart felt lighter. It was good to see that her knight, for all the hatred and vengeful desires in his heart, had not completely lost himself to darkness.

While devils were the embodiment of sin, that didn't mean they were evil. Only the devils who let their sinful desires control them became evil. That's what her brother once told her.

Sitting beside her was Xenovia and Irina. The two church goers seemed to love bathing in the hot spring. This was probably because of their spartan way of living. Asia once said that the people of the catholic church lived in humility. Rias didn't get it, but assumed her devil nature meant she couldn't understand the point of not living in luxury.

"So what was up with that Knight of yours?" It was interesting to see the changes made in the two holy sword users. While Xenovia remained tight-lipped around her peerage, Irina, who, quite oddly enough, struck her as the more faithful of the two, seemed much more comfortable now, as shown by her asking that question.

Rias pondered whether to tell her or not, but decided that revealing a small bit of her Knight's past wouldn't hurt, and may at least help ease any bitterness the two felt toward his rude behavior.

"Kiba was a part of the holy sword project," they both winced, causing her to smile mirthlessly, "And I see you two know what that means."

"We've heard about the holy sword project," Xenovia allowed with slight scowl, "It's one of the largest blights on the church. However, we didn't know what the director, one Valper Galilei, was doing until well after he'd already murdered all of the children he planned on experimenting on. We assume he realized we were coming for him and was trying to get rid of the evidence."

"I see."

"I'm sorry I asked," Irina sounded subdued. Odd for such a perky girl, but then, this wasn't a very happy subject.

"It's fine. Kiba never goes around talking about his past, but it's not like he really tries hiding it either."

"I had not realized there was a survivor of the holy sword project," Xenovia muttered, "It would explain his hatred of the Excaliburs."

"So you noticed that, did you?"

Xenovia gave Rias a dry look. "Kind of heard not to."

"Speaking of the holy swords, I wanted to talk to you about our plans. You mentioned that you wanted to retrieve them, but were willing to destroy them if it meant keeping them out of enemy hands."

Irina and Xenovia narrowed their eyes.

"Where are you going with this?"

"I want you to let Kiba destroy one of the Excaliburs," Rias stated bluntly. The two exorcists eyes widened.

"You can't be serious?" Irina looked shocked, "You're asking us to let a devil destroy one of the Excaliburs? Do you know how angry the higher ups would be if they found out?"

"So don't let them find out," Rias shrugged, "Tell them that you managed to capture two of the three Excaliburs, but the last one was destroyed during the fight."

"But that would be lying!"

"Indeed it would."

"You can't seriously expect us to lie to the church like that!"

"I could always kick you out of my territory."

Irina sputtered. "But we already agreed to your conditions!"

"So?"

Rias observed the two. It seemed her initial assumptions were correct. Irina was bubbly and amiable, but also fanatically religious. Xenovia held a strong belief of God, but not to the point where she wouldn't consider a proposal if she thought it would make sense. What an odd pair.

"I don't mind."

Irina whirled on Xenovia.

"How could you say that, Xenovia? You're talking about letting a devil destroy one of the Excaliburs! I thought you of all people would be against that."

"I don't necessarily like the idea," Xenovia admitted with a frown, "But I also don't mind allowing this if it will help us accomplish our goals. And besides, if Yuto really was part of the holy sword project, then we, as members of the church, owe him an apology for letting Valper Galilei get away with the crimes he committed."

Irina worried her lip for a moment, but eventually conceded.

"Yeah… you have a point there," she looked at Rias, "I guess we could let your knight destroy one of the Excaliburs."

"Thank you," Rias smiled graciously. Irina crossed her arms and pouted.

"But don't think this means I'm not still mad at you. Trying to blackmail us by kicking us out of your territory because we wouldn't let you do something isn't nice."

Rias's smile was very Naruto-esque. "I'm sorry."

"You don't sound very sorry."

~Devil Ninja~

Naruto sat in a grand room, on a throne-like chair. The room was empty save him and his current companion. The large marble columns felt strangely lonely, even as they stood with their brethren, silent monoliths to a time long since gone. He found it odd that such a place existed here, especially because he knew that "here" was actually a separate dimension created by Ophis, which explained why no one had discovered them after he was kidnapped.

His companion of the hour, Ophis, was sitting on his lap. She told him that she wanted to speak to him, and he had agreed, provided she let him pet her.

Most people would have probably balked at the request. Ophis had merely raised an eyebrow before agreeing.

Bikou had seemed awfully amused, even as most of the others—sans Le Fay who looked horrified for some reason, and the new guy, Vali, who had laughed in amusement at the request—seemed disgusted that he would ask her such a thing.

That was good. Naruto needed to keep these people off guard. He didn't want any of them thinking he was anything more than a disgusting prankster with a loli-fetish—even though Naruto was beginning to wonder if he might actually have a loli-fetish himself. He wouldn't deny that he loved large breasts. Rias's breasts were some of the most beautiful he had ever seen, and Naruto absolutely loved motorboating them and using them as pillows. And yet, he also loved cute things, especially cute girls. He didn't know why.

Weird.

"I have a proposal for you," those were the first words Ophis had spoken. He didn't know how long they had been sitting there, but it must have been a while. He wondered if maybe his head-petting made her forget why she had asked for him. He wouldn't be surprised. Koneko often said he was an awesome head petter.

"I'm listening," Naruto said, his hands straying past her hair to find those adorably pointed ears. They reminded him of elf ears—except elves weren't so short. He thought about saying she was dwarf-size, but she was far too damn cute for him to think of her in the same capacity as dwarves.

Ophis didn't speak for a second, and when she leaned her head into his skilled hands, Naruto grinned. It looked like head petting worked on lolis of all types, regardless of whether they possessed enough power to destroy the world several times over.

Oddly enough, even head petting did not get Ophis to change her voice from its bland overtones. It didn't even make her facial muscles twitch. Naruto felt the stirrings of a challenge in the air.

"I have been gathering strong people from every race; humans, yokai, devils and dragons in order to accomplish my goal of kicking Great Red out of my home."

Naruto found himself intrigued.

"Who is Great Red?"

"Great Red is the most powerful being alive, a dragon whose power even exceeds my own. He goes my many titles. Apocalypse Dragon. The True Dragon. The True Red Dragon God Emperor. The Dragon of Dragons. He has been a thorn in my side for many years. He currently resides within the Dimensional Gap."

"The Dimensional Gap…"

Now just why did that sound so familiar? Naruto could have sworn he'd heard someone say something about that gap-thingy before. After thinking about it for a second, he shrugged. If he didn't remember it, then it probably wasn't important.

"The Dimensional Gap is my home. It has been for as long as I have existed. However, awhile ago, Great Red barged into my home and kicked me out."

For the first time since seeing her, Naruto saw an inflection of emotion within her eyes. He didn't know if he could call it sadness. It seemed nothing like sadness, or rage, or anger, or even irritation. But, still, even though he couldn't place the emotion in her eyes, he still felt the tug on his heartstrings at seeing something in her eyes.

'Ugh, maybe I really am becoming a lolicon.' This girl was just too adorable. He wanted to hug her and never let go. A part of him was even tempted to travel to that gap place right now and kick this Great Red's ass for kicking such a cute little thing out of her own home. That was an incredibly rude thing to do.

"So, just for clarification, are you asking me to help you kill this Great Red? Because if so, then I'm gonna tell you right now that I won't partake in murder. I'm not above kicking the ass of sanctimonious jerkwads who deserve it, but I try not to kill unless it becomes truly necessary."

"I don't care if he's killed or not," Ophis informed him in her bored, emotionless voice, "I just want him gone. I don't want him in my home anymore. I wish to return to the solitude of the Dimensional Gap and not have him annoying me with his antics."

Naruto contemplated her words. On the one hand, so long as she didn't want him to kill someone for her, he wouldn't mind helping her out. She seemed nice enough, though he wished she would be a little more emotional. Maybe he could convince her to call him onii-chan…

'Hehehe, onii-chan… no! Focus, Naruto! Focus!'

Bringing himself back to his previous thoughts, he couldn't help but feel a bit… sad, he guessed. He didn't know much about this Dimensional Gap, but her entire mentioning of solitude made him think that the place she spoke of was an empty one, a place where nothing but she existed. The thought depressed him. Did she really want to be alone? Why? Why would anyone want to be alone? He didn't understand.

And that's when it hit him. An idea. A brilliant, wonderful idea. Yes, yes. His idea was genius, as expected from a man of his stature. All of his ideas were rather impressive, but this one definitely took the cake.

Naruto looked down at the little girl on his lap. She stared back at him with emotionless eyes.

"I don't mind helping you kick this Great Red guy out of your home, however, I do have several conditions that my help comes with. You can agree to these conditions, or you can kiss my help goodbye."

"I could always just force you to help."

"No you can't," came the retort, "If you know of the power I possess, then you know that I have enough to rival even you. A battle between us would either end in a stalemate or become a battle of attrition, and I can guarantee that in a battle like that, I would come out on top."

What Naruto didn't mention was that he would only win if Ophis didn't bring the Khaos Brigade into the battle. He didn't know if he could fend off both Ophis and them at the same time. Even so, he felt that, should it become necessary, he could probably retreat and live to fight another day.

"Hey, Kurama…"

"I already know what you're going to ask. To answer your question, yes, I can break through this dimension and get us back to the one that your friends are in. A fight between you and Ophis won't even be necessary. If she shows any signs of hostility, I'll just break through the barrier and we can escape."

"Got it. Thanks."

"Anytime."

While Naruto held a conversation with his inner fuzzy, Ophis continued staring at him like he was a puzzle to be solved. He didn't even notice her curious gaze until he and Kurama stopped speaking.

"Something up?" he asked.

"Why did you stop petting my head?"

"Did I? My bad."

With a sheepish grin, Naruto once again resumed petting the gir'ls head.

Head petting: the solution to all of Naruto's loli problems.

He did have to marvel at this girls hair, though. He wondered how she kept it so soft and shiny. It was even softer than Rias's hair, and he knew because her hair was the first part of Rias that he became attracted to. He would even go so far as to say it was love at first hair.

"So, then, are you willing to agree with my conditions?"

Ophis deliberated for a moment.

"Yes," she nodded her head at last, displacing Naruto's hand before it resumed its petting, "I can agree to your conditions." She turned her head to look at him. "What are they?"

In answer to her question, Naruto just smiled.

~Devil Ninja~

It didn't take long for them to reach their intended destination. The large structure appeared European in nature; from the gothic era, if Rias wasn't mistaken. Large spires shooting from the top like stakes set to spear the heavens were adorned with stained glass windows, each depicting a scene from the bible. She supposed this place had once been pleasing to the eye. Indeed, she could envision people coming and going to this place during grander times, praying to God and joining in worship. Such was not the case anymore. Much the building lay in a state of neglect. Her enhanced devil vision could make out rust stains and scratch marks and graffiti that had been painted along the walls.

"This place looks abandoned," Issei commented.

"That's because it is abandoned," in response to the looks she received, Irina could only shrug, "Or it should be. This was once a place of worship that had many followers of Catholicism coming here for sermons. I used to come here with my parents."

"That's right," Issei smacked the palm of his left hand into the palm of his right, "Isn't your old man a priest? I think I remember him inviting me to church once."

"That's right," Irina nodded, seemingly pleased that he remembered, "My father held sermons here. We would always come to church on Thursdays and Sundays to hold services. Dad wanted to invite you, and then he found out about your fascination with breasts and decided to stop asking."

"Ugh."

"Ufufufu," Akeno held a hand to her lips, "Ise-kun does have quite the fascination with breasts. He certainly loves mine quite a bit."

Issei began blushing.

"For some reason I'm not really sure I feel comfortable talking about this in public…"

"Now don't be like that," Akeno smiled a devils smile, "You're always going on about how you're going to become a Harem King, but you blush whenever I mention how you enjoy my breasts? That sort of thinking seems awfully backwards."

"Listen, Akeno, this and that are two different things!" Issei clenched his hands into unholy fists that trembled with determination… and lust, but mostly determination. "I would gladly proclaim to the world my intentions of becoming the Harem King. It is a goal that all men should aspire to, for there is no greater worth of a man than the number of beautiful women he can call to his side."

"Oh boy." Rias resisted the urge to palm her face. Irina and Xenovia looked appalled. "Here we go again."

"There is nothing wrong with talking about ones dream," Issei seemed heedless of the disgusted stares the church goers were giving him, "I will never be ashamed of proclaiming my dream of having my very own harem to the world! Because some day, if I say it enough times, then maybe it will come true."

"The pervs lost his mind," Koneko deadpanned.

"Disgusting," Ravel agreed.

"I am terribly sorry about my friends behavior towards women," even Kiba was apologizing to the exorcists, "I don't know where he got his fascination with having a harem, or breasts, or butts, but I am sorry if he has offended you in anyway."

"Oh, shut up! You guys just can't understand what it means to be a Harem King! The boobs! The butts! I plan on seeing them all! I'll have one of every body type in my harem! And then we'll have jiggly times!"

"And there he goes," Akeno giggled as Issei became a drooling mess, "It seems we've lost him."

"I think he's gotten off track of his original topic," Ravel added.

"As expected of the perv," Koneko said, nodding, "His brain is filled with nothing but lecherous activities."

Issei shook himself from his stupor.

"Anyway, the point that I was trying to make is that, while I have no problem talking about my goals, my private life should be kept separate. I would never talk about what I do with the women in my harem, because it's special and something that should be kept between us. That's why I won't talk about what we do at home."

"That's so sweet," Asia wiped away a few stray tears, clearly taken in with Issei's words. Xenovia and Irina looked at the girl like she'd sprouted a second head.

"Yeah," Kiba just looked weirded out by the whole thing, "Maybe if he wasn't talking about being a Harem King, his sweetness would have a bit more impact."

"Issei's about as sweet as dango that's been left in a sumo wrestlers gym locker for six months," Koneko added.

"Can we just… get a move on," Rias sounded desperate, "Please?"

"I suppose we should," Xenovia said, "The sooner we do this, the better."

"Are you sure it's safe to go in?" Akeno asked.

Irina shrugged.

"It should be. This cathedral started to lose its appeal before my parents and I moved. I remember dad coming by and helping them remove all of the symbols of worship so they could be distributed to other churches. There shouldn't be any left, so devils should have nothing to worry about entering."

"Right," Rias took a deep breath, "Well then, let's go in."

The group continued moving up the cobblestone path. Trees encircled them from all sides. They isolated this place, blocking all the paths a person could take to get here except the main entrance several miles back. This cathedral had been built long before Rias became the overseer for this sight, and she'd made it a point to avoid going anywhere near here.

This place had definitely been abandoned for at least several years. Her eyes could see holes in the stone floor where pews once stood as monuments of worship. The marble columns had long since lost their luster. Mildew grew along the bottom of walls, crawling up the sides and showing off the cracks along the surface that came from age and abandonment. Several staircases made of wood were missing stairs, likely from decay, Rias concluded. However, these were all secondary to her vision.

In the back of the room were a set of doors. Burnished bronze and rusted with age, they didn't look like much anymore, though Rias could easily picture them back when this place had been filled with worshipers. They had probably been an impressive sight back then. Now they were just plain eerie.

"Well, hello," an obnoxious voice called out, "Welcome to this fine establishment of worship devils and gals. I hope you've brought your A-game on. It wouldn't be any fun if you didn't at least make me work before you all die."

"Freed!" Issei snarled, eyes darting around in fury.

"Ah, a familiar face. You're the boy with the dragon gauntlet, aren't you? And I see sweet little Asia has come to visit little old me as well. How are you, my dear? Have you been enjoying your life as this devil's cumdump?"

Quaking at the sound of the familiar voice, Asia huddled behind Akeno and Issei.

"Still hiding behind that weak little bitch of a devil, I see," Freed sighed sadly, "You really should learn to be a bit more confident. How ever will you become something other than dense little slut if you don't? Then again, you are a devil now, so I guess it doesn't matter."

Rias frowned. Was it just her? Or had this man's mouth become even more vulgar than she remembered?

"Rias-sama…"

Rias put a hand on Ravel's shoulder, steadying the girl.

"Don't worry. I know this man sounds vulgar and disgusting, and he is vulgar and disgusting, but we've dealt with him before. Doing so again shouldn't be a problem."

"Oh, but it will be a problem. A very big one, in fact. You see, I'm not the same man I was back then. I'm a new man. I've changed, reformed, you could say. A few bitchy devils aren't going to be enough to stop me this time."

"Come out and show yourself, Freed Selzan!" Irina stepped forward and brandished her Excalibur Mimic. "Come out and face your punishment!"

"Oh, look! It appears the church has sent two of its top sluts to come fetch me. How amusing." A figure jumped down from a balcony, crouching low before standing up. That silver hair, those red eyes, and that deranged expression were familiar to everyone could only belong to Freed. "And it appears you've joined up with bitch tits and her little group of fuckups. My, whatever would the Catholic church think when they learn you've decided to join forces with the devils?"

"Shut up, you damn stray priest!" Issei growled, his Boosted Gear glowing. "I'm going to pound your face in for all the trouble you've caused!"

Freed looked bored by Issei's words. He even yawned.

"You really don't have much originality, do you? Every time you and I run into each other it's always 'stray priest this' or 'stray priest that.' Can't you work on your pre-battle banter lines? It gets so boring when the person you fight keeps repeating himself like a fucking twat. If you'd like, I would be more than happy to give you some examples while I'm slicing your ass up like a mother fucking rapist in a penitentiary."

Chuckling was heard from above. Rias frowned as she looked up. Her devil-enhanced vision could just barely make out the figure several dozen feet above her standing in the balcony. He stood so far back that much of his body was blocked by the balcony itself.

"You always did have a mouth on you, Freed."

"I know. I don't know why that is. It's so shameful. Not!" Grinning his slasher's grin, Freed made a grand gesture. "Now that I have greeted our most esteemed guests, I suppose it's time to introduce you all to your most gracious host. Ladies and sluts, devils, bitch tits, allow me to introduce the man of the mother fucking hour, Valper Galilei!"

The figure finally stepped forward and Rias got a good look at the man who had become known as the Genocide Bishop. Valper was an old man, his hair gray and balding on top. He had a thin mustache and dressed in stately priest's robes, which would have made him look every bit the priest, were it not for the insanity gleaming in his eyes.

"Valper Galilei," Xenovia stepped forward and glared at the man, "In the name of the Catholic Church and the Vatican, I am placing you under arrest for crimes against God and the church."

"Crimes against God, you say?" The man tilted his head as if not sure what to make of that statement. However, he eventually nodded. "Yes, I suppose in your feeble mind, the things that I have done could be considered crimes against God. You followers of the church have always been so simple-minded. Always scrutinizing the methods and never looking at the results." A deranged smile. "But now you will finally see the pride of my research, the results of several years worth of hard work. Freed! Have fun."

Valper tossed something down from his perch. It carved a graceful arc through the air, spinning, before embedding itself point first into the ground. A sword, gleaming yellow in the light, pulsating with holy energy. Rias stared at the sword in worry. Whatever this weapon was, it held far more power than the two Excaliburs that Irina and Xenovia were using.

"Alright! Now this is a sword!" Freed's fingers wrapped around the hilt, holding it in a fierce grip as he yanked it from the ground. Then he proceeded to swing it around, laughing like an insane child. "This is so much better than the other Excaliburs, old man! Oh, I'm getting goosebumps just holding it! Think of how much better I'll feel using it! Mm, I may just orgasm on the spot!"

"That sword…" Irina muttered nervously. Valper smiled.

"Do you like it? While incomplete because I lack the other four Excalibur pieces, it still holds a lot more power than the original three this was made from."

"You reforged Excalibur?" Xenovia's eyes widened in horror.

"Indeed I did," Valper nodded. He looked quite pleased with himself. "You don't know how long it took to discover the process of reforging Excalibur into a single blade. Years of back breaking research, of pouring through old documents and tomes, only to come up short. I had almost given up hope when I realized that the method for reforging one of the greatest weapons in the world lay not in the past, but had to be discovered by those living in the present. It took me a long time, but at last, I have done it. And now that I know the method to reforging Excalibur, I can gather all of the pieces and create the blade that was once held up as the greatest holy sword of all time!"

"No," Rias whispered in horror. The situation was far worse than she had originally thought. She never would have imagined that someone could actually reforge Excalibur into a single blade again. The idea of such a powerful weapon that could be used against devils being made whole caused shivers to run down her spine.

"R-Rias… s-sama…"

Ravel. The poor thing was shaking horribly, clearly overwhelmed by the feeling that the holy sword gave off. Rias quickly moved in front of her, attempting to shield the Phenex heiress from the effects being near that blade caused.

"I can't believe you fused them," Irina's coarse voice muttered in wide-eyed horror.

"You'd better believe it," Freed, his tongue hanging from his mouth, held the sword near his crotch and began humping the air with it. "Oh yeah! Just look at my baby now! It's so big and long and hard! I just can't wait to shove my Excalibur up your cockstained devil asses!"

"This is blasphemy," Xenovia glared up at Valper, "Excalibur was meant to rest in pieces. That was the edict passed down by the church! You have no right fusing these swords together! Even if you were still a member of the church, this would be outside of your jurisdiction."

"Naive little girl," Valper shook his head in a pitying manner, "Swords are meant to be used. To not reforge Excalibur into a single blade is the height of folly and one of the church's greatest failings." His lips curled into a cruel smile. "Of course, it seems even Michael is not above using my research to further his goals. You two are proof of this, after all."

"W-what do you mean?" Irina looked almost afraid of the answer.

"I mean that you two are artificially created holy sword users, are you not?" The words sent ripples through the Gremory group; Irina's and Xenovia's eyes widened. "Did you really think I wouldn't recognize my handiwork at play here. From the moment I saw you two standing before me, bearing your Excaliburs, I knew that the church had used my research without me."

"I-Irina," Issei swallowed, "Is this true?"

"Yes," Irina looked pained, especially when she saw the expression on Kiba's face, "It's true, I'm not a true holy sword wielder. I was given a gem, which michael said was the blessings of God and that it would allow me to wield a holy sword. I… didn't know it was actually the result of this man's work."

Valper chuckled.

"I suppose I should take the knowledge that Michael isn't afraid to use my research as a compliment, although I highly doubt he has the will necessary to actually sacrifice his own subjects. He probably found some way of getting the genetic code needed without killing anyone, thinking it would be more humane or something. I'll never understand why some people are so afraid of getting their hands dirty."

"And what do you plan on doing now that you have reforged Excalibur?" Rias asked.

"Why, that should be obvious," Valper actually had the gall to chuckle, "I plan on helping my master start a war. I'll start by killing you, Rias Gremory, and then I'll send your corpse to your dear older brother in the underworld. Perhaps I should send it in pieces? What do you think I should send first? I think Sirzechs Lucifer would become quite enraged if he saw his younger sister's pretty little head packaged in a box? I'll even wrap it up and put a nice bow on it." The older man sighed in pleasure, like he was sipping a fine wine. "It'll be just like Christmas. Ah, but then, you devils don't celebrate Christmas, do you? Perhaps a birthday, then?"

Rias gritted her teeth.

"You're insane."

"Insane? Do you even know the definition of that word? Insanity is merely the act of doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results each time. No, I am quite sane, thank you very much."

"Enough of this!"

Xenovia shouted, holding her hand out to her side. The air around her hissed, wind whipping about, turning into a fierce gale. Light erupted from her hand, a multitude of beams that joined together, forming a hexagram, a ward that ripped a literally hole in space. She reached in, slender fingers wrapping around something inside, a hilt, which she pulled out from the depths of the space. Broad, long, and with a straight edge, the blade she brought to bare was unmistakable, as was the power that wafted from its frame like a hurricane.

"This is Durandal," Xenovia pointed the weapon at Freed, "I can't control him very well yet. He has a tendency to not listen to what I say and he likes destroying everything he touches. I normally keep him sealed because I don't want him destroying anything, but in this instance, I don't think I'll mind."

Rias shared the surprise of her fellow peerage. Even Irina seemed surprised. Oddly enough, and she got a sinking feeling upon noticing, their foes didn't seem to be worried.

"Oh dear," Valper muttered, "I don't remember doing any research on how to make artificial sword wielders for Durandel, and I'm almost positive that Michael doesn't have the guts necessary to research a method. Tell me, my dear, are you one of those natural Holy Sword wielders?"

"That's right. Unlike Irina, I am a natural, and I will use Durandel to slay you and Freed Selzan where you stand for crimes against the church."

"So I see. And judging from your actions, I can only presume that this is your trump card." Valper's cruel smile came back with a vengeance. "Very well then, since you have shown me your trump card, please allow me to show you mine."

They stalked out of the shadow in droves, cloaks wavering as they moved, steel grieves pounding against the stone floor with heavy thuds and the dull clanking of metal. They were like something out of a fairy tale. Armor glimmered with sparse trickles of moonlight streaming in from a hole in the ceiling. Glowing red eyes burned from deep within the regal frames of ironwrought helms reminiscent of armor from the Holy Crusades. Helberds gleamed brightly from scant traces of moonlight. Rias and the others took a step back in fear.

"Are these…"

"They are not Knight Templars, if that is what you are thinking," Valper still stood on the edge of the balcony and looked down at them with undisguised pleasure, "Most unfortunately, a group of fanatical knights like the Templars would not betray the church to join me—although they might, once they discover that two of their holy sword users are working with devils. But, no, these forms that you see before you, they are another one of my creations. They are suits of armor, empty husks that have been animated through the power of human sacrifice."

"The power of human sacrifice?" Xenovia looked physically ill. Irina clamped a hand over her mouth, trace amounts of vomit leaking from between her fingertips.

"Indeed. When I began working on creating an artificial holy sword user, the problem that I ran into was that none of the people who were selected had enough of the genetic material required to wield a holy sword. My theory was that if I could acquire and combine the genetic code required from all of them and transform it into a physical form, a crystal, then I could create a person capable of wielding holy swords."

"Their… genetic material?" Kiba looked torn between rage and sickness. Rias understood how he felt. Even she was disgusted by this man's depravity."

"Yes, their genetic material," Valper cupped a hand to his chin, "It took a while, but my research finally gave me the means of creating artificial holy sword users, however, afterwards, I ended up with all of this… excess material that I did not know what to do with. My first thought was to just throw it all away. I had what I wanted, after all, but then another thought occurred to me, a question, if you will; what if I could somehow use this excess material to create something else?"

Rias's stomach tightened in disgust. She felt like vomiting. Issei looked sick and Asia whimpered behind him, her fragile form quivering as she mewled pathetically. Next to them Akeno shook, not in fear or disgust, but in anger. Kiba seemed to be of like mind, while Xenovia and Irina fought of their own disgust at how this man had perverted humanity to further his own agenda.

"Oh…" Ravel nearly fell to the floor, and would have, had Koneko not caught her.

"I've got you."

Ravel cast her friend a wan smile.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Above them all, standing on high as if they were beneath him, Valper basked in his own sense of accomplishment.

"The genetic code, the material necessary to complete my project, was but one small part of the human psyche, the soul, if you wish to use the term. And that's when it occurred to me," Valper's grin made Rias's stomach churn, "What if I could use the rest of these souls to create an army! An army of undying, unyielding golems who would never disobey my will! Who would help ensure that my master's plans to embroil this world in war succeeded! And look! Look at my accomplishments! Look at my creations! I have succeeded in raising an army that obeys my every whim! And all it took was the sacrifice of a few hundred human lives!"

"You're mad," Rias declared.

"Genius and madness have always gone hand in hand, girl! One cannot be a genius without being a trace touched in the head. But that is fine. I do not expect you people to understand the greatness of what I've accomplished here. Now go forth, my army! Go forth and rip these devils and those two fools of the church apart! Rend them! Tear their flesh from their bones! Show me that I was not wrong to give you these forms!"

Like the turning of a giant spoke the figures lurched forward, slowly, ponderously, their heavy frames took thunderous steps that reverberated along the ground. They closed in on the group, who quickly began backing away. Xenovia swiveled her Durandel from Freed to these forms, but they did not slow, they did not halt, instead they continued inexorably forward as if incapable of doing anything else.

And then they spoke as one, their voices a sick, grating rasp filled with pain.

Help… us…

Release… us…

Please…

The demonic sword Kiba had conjured dropped to his side. His eyes widened in horror.

"No… those voices… it couldn't be…"

"Hoh? Do you recognize some of those voices?" Valper studied the young man with a hungry gleam in his eyes. "Ah, now I understand. If I am not mistaken, you're that Sword Birth user we had in our clutches at one point. I had actually planned on using you last, since I felt you were prime research material. How unfortunate that I never got the chance to see what gains I could have achieved from experimenting on you."

Kiba gritted his teeth as killing intent wafted from his body. Valper didn't even seem to notice. He just nodded his head in thought.

"Yes, it is no wonder that you of all people would recognize some of these voices." Sick chuckling bubbled from a mouth with a macabres grin. "After all, many of these golems were once friends of yours, if I am not mistaken. It only makes sense that you would recognise them."

The ironclad figures continued forward, their cries of pain, of despair, filling the cathedral.

Help… us…

Kiba…

Tears spilled from Kiba's eyes as the voices became more distinguishable. Rias could hear them, the voices of young children, boys and girls who had their lives ended tragically short.

"You monster," his voice was a low snarl that soon gathered volume, "I can't believe you would do something like this! Haven't you done enough to them?! Haven't my friends suffered enough?!"

"My dear boy, whatever are you getting upset over. You should be thanking me."

Kiba froze.

"Thanking… you…?"

"Of course. After all, it is because I decided not to discard the rest of their remains that you now have this chance to see them again. Even better, you can die by their hands for failing to protect them. Think of it as my way of helping you repent for the crime of letting all of your friends die while you ran away and became a devil."

"Don't listen to him, Kiba!" Rias shouted. "He's just trying to get under your skin! Your friends would never regret that you lived! They gave their lives so that you could escape! Don't let this man's tainted words destroy the faith you have in the people who loved you!"

Kiba…

Kiba…

Help me… Kiba…

The suits of armor powered by human souls brought their halberds to bare. Kiba stood there, his shoulders shaking, tears spilling from his eyes as he stared into the darkened depths of those knightly helms.

"No…"

Kiba…

"Enough… please…"

Kiba.

"Stop."

Kiba!

"Kiba!"

"STOP IT!"

Without warning a large circle appeared underneath Kiba. Dozens of demonic swords sprang from the ground, jutting like stakes and skewering the human powered suits of armor. But this did not stop their advance, they did not halt. Metal squealed as the blades struck armored plating, yet the swords did not penetrate, and the incoming horde of enslaved human souls continued advancing.

"VALPER GALILEI!" Kiba roared as he held up his sword, its frame wreathed in darkness. Stained. Black. Impure. They were the manifestations of Kiba's hatred. "I am going to murder you for what you've done to my friends!"

Valper did not seem worried. If anything, he looked quite pleased.

"By all means, be my guest. Just know that the only way to kill me is to go through your friends. But can you really do it? Can you raise your blade against the people you once cherished as family? Can you betray them like this again?"

"Kiba," Rias's heart ached at seeing her knight like this, shaking with rage and indecision. What should she do? How could she help him overcome this?

"What the hell kind of question is that?!" Issei shouted. "Of course he can! Look at them! Those people that you've imprisoned in those suits of armor are suffering! They're hurting, and you're the one who's hurting them! Kiba wouldn't be betraying his friends! He'd be helping them achieve peace by ensuring that you can no longer use them for your own purpose! He's going to kill your ass, old man! And as his friend, I'm going to help him do it!"

Everybody stared at Issei in surprise. Even Rias was surprised. That speech, those words, even that stance, all of it was familiar to the Gremory group. Naruto would often take that same stance when doling out long-winded speeches.

"Ise," Kiba's stunned look hardened after a moment. He nodded to his friend, then faced the oncoming horde.

Kiba…

Please help us…

It hurts, Kiba, it hurts…

End our suffering…

"My friends," the tears had long dried up, but anguish remained on his face, mixing with unwavering determination, "I will do as you ask. I will end your suffering. I will lay you to rest and ensure that this man can never desecrate your souls again!"

The words were spoken with resolve, stronger than steel, indomitable, unwavering. A wind began to kick up around him. The blade he summoned, Holy Eraser, vanished, dispersing into particles. A circle appeared underneath him, and from its depths, a new sword emerged, its form jagged, saw-like, gleaming a dull black that seemed to repel light, as if disdaining from it. Kiba grabbed the blade and pulled it free. He resumed his stance and prepared for battle.

"With this blade, Soul Severance, I will break the chains that have enslaved my friends to you!"

~Devil Ninja~

Standing on a large mountain, a sea of viridian laid out below and bright blue above, Uzumaki Naruto examined his surroundings with a bright smile. It was good to be back in his world. Now all he had to do was get back home. It should be easy enough.

"Why did you not say goodbye to the others?" A curious voice asked from above. Naruto looked up to see his companion sitting on his shoulders, her hands lightly gripping his hair. He smiled.

"Because I didn't see much point," he admitted, "Since I agreed to help you, I'm sure we'll all meet again. Besides," he grinned, "I left them all with such a wonderful parting gift. If I said 'farewell' or 'see you later' it would have diminished the effect."

The two paused, a moment of silence ensuing. For some reason, they could almost hear the abject screams anger and outrage from several hundred humans and devils, as they all discovered that someone had tattooed numerous vulgar images onto their faces. Naruto absently wondered how long it would take those tattoos to wear off. They were enhanced with sage chakra, so it would probably take a few months at least.

"I don't understand why you enjoy playing pranks like that," came the bland response.

"And I don't understand why you'd want to return to a place that's void of life," Naruto would have shrugged, but couldn't since his companion was riding his shoulders.

"Because I prefer the silence of the Dimensional Gap. I was born in silence, and so it is comforting to me."

"Oh yeah? Well, I think the only reason you find silence comforting is because you've never had a true friend to share the joys of living." Naruto patted his companion's leg. "But don't worry. You've got me now. I'm going to be your friend, and I'll show you that there is more to life than simply existing in a void. I'll show you what it means to truly live."

"So you have told me."

"By the way, are those people you've gathered going to be alright without you?"

"They will be fine. I have gathered them for the sake of fulfilling my ambition, however, that doesn't mean I command them. They have sworn their allegiance to me in order to gain power, but I'm mostly just a figurehead. I let them do what they want, and I aid them when they ask for power, but beyond that, I don't take any part in what they do."

"Isn't that kind of irresponsible? While Bikou, Fay-chan and their group seems nice enough, those people in the devil and hero factions are a bunch of douchebags. I'm not sure letting them run amok is a really good idea."

"It doesn't matter," was the dismissive response, "I don't really care what they do, just so long as they help me return to the Dimensional Gap and achieve everlasting silence."

Naruto sighed. He didn't think Ophis was a bad person, dragon, whatever, but her desire to return home superseded everything to the point where it seemed like she had a complete disregard for other people. She was, it seemed, a very selfish person, yet also strangely pure and naive.

"Ah, whatever," Naruto said at last, "Spend a little more time with me and I'll be getting you to sing a new tune. Pretty soon you'll forget all about that Dimensional Gap, the Khaos Brigade and will instead start caring more about other people and having fun with me."

"Fun?"

"That's right, fun. You're going to be living with me for the foreseeable future. Give me a few days, a week at most, and I guarantee that you'll eventually start wondering why you ever wanted to return to some void between worlds."

"That's an awfully bold statement," a bland response. She clearly didn't believe him.

"Of course," Naruto thumped his chest, "Have you already forgotten who I am? I'm Uzumaki Naruto, devil ninja extraordinaire, the greatest sage of Mount Myoboku, and the soon to be most powerful being in existence. There's nothing that I can't do."

His smug words were answered with a shrug.

"If you say so."

"I do say so," Naruto's hands gently wrapped around the girl's legs. He then began trekking down the mountain. "Now then, I believe we have dilly-dallied enough. You'll understand why I'm so confident once we're back home."

"Speaking of home, do you even know how to get there from here?"

"... Uh…"

"That's what I thought."