Chapter 8

The hidden feeling

Jade rode her Richo Bike back from the Military Base after seeing Miss. Tara, who taught her War Strategies and Planning. Jade did well for that module for two continuous years while completing her Psychology Course. Being Miss Tara’s favourite student, she felt privileged to have given the priority.

Miss Tara introduced Jade to her twin sister, Professor Sheila, who was the assistant supervisor of the Intelligence Department. Meeting Miss Tara’s twin sister for the first time gave Jade an unexpected shocking discovery. Okay, it isn’t a big deal that some twins just don’t look alike because they happen to be fraternal twins. But my oh my, Professor Shiela looked absolutely nothing like Miss Tara. She was taller (so much taller), slimmer (so much slimmer), and prettier (hate to say, but yes, so much prettier). Gauging her height at about 5’8, she could easily be a supermodel with that height and that perfect, super fit figure.

Miss Tara, on the contrary, was short and plump with podgy arms. She had the same frizzy hairstyle for every day, passé ensembles, no makeup, no eye for fashion. Being short and plump doesn’t make her a horrible person though. In fact, she had an adorable angelic face and a charming personality. She was cheerful, easygoing and a bit bubbly. It was just hard to believe that they were twins from their appearances. If there has to be one thing they share, it would be the colour of their pale blonde hair.

With Jade’s mock exams results, Professor Sheila gladly offered her a position of Strategic Intelligence Officer. She would be a trainee, under three to six month probation depending on her performances. Strategic Intelligence Officer’s tasks are mainly collect, research and analyse information collected from the intelligences or other sources regarding any possible war or plots. Some of them may be allocated in the Cyber Department to assist in any critical crime cases especially those concerning with the country’s political affairs. Some officers specialized in analysing and planning for battle strategies. Jade was hoping she would have a chance to blend into that division.

“You will do well, I’m sure. Give it a try, or you’ll never know.” Miss Tara was trying to build Jade’s confidence, prodding her into taking this job. She was being very nice and helpful. Jade was quite pleased being offered to this position.

But for some reasons, a part of her lured and urged her to go to the combat field. After all, she was gifted that strength amina, which made her a capable fighting army. Why waste it away? It was an ambivalent of mixed feelings. She was actually interested in engaging in real battles. Growing up with two brothers, playing imaginary battle games at the backyard almost every other day, and a father that tells war stories… it was hard not to like it (being in the battles) though it is dangerous.

Dangerous yet challenging.

It was not like she enjoys hurting people. It is just the part of being able to fight and wipe out bad dudes always exhilarates her, giving her the contentment of august accomplishment.

I should listen to my head, not my heart.

Marteena was right, the battlefield is a very dangerous place for a woman. Jade was sure her mom would disapprove vehemently, cry for weeks, months even. So she decided to force a cerebral red light to drop the whole enlisting in the army idea instead, and another cerebral green light imagining herself working in the Intelligence Department. A cushy, quotidian nine-to-five job isn’t so bad, she thought, as she rode along the road, accompanied by swathes of grass verge on both sides. At least, she will be working in the Military Camp, that is close enough though.

Aisha was already waiting for her at a cocoa house (anything produced from cocoa such as coffee and chocolate is called cocoa). She wouldn’t want to miss any girl time with Aisha. Aisha grudged the only downside being a medic is the night duties. They could really ruin a girl’s beauty recovery process by manipulating the sleeping time.

Caramel Cocoa was a swish cocoa house with an old Victorian design, conspicuous among the nondescript shop houses. Jade could see Aisha, sitting by the window perfect spot, her face half covered by the white laced curtains. She smiled and waved at Jade when she saw Jade, parking her Richo Bike outside.

The cocoa house was all warm and aromatic, with smiling waitresses in maroon waist aprons bustled around.

“Hi, you are early.” Jade took her seat opposite Aisha. “I hope you didn’t wait for too long.”

“Not at all, Jade. I got up early for some workout, although the initial plan was to stay in bed and be lazy. How I wish there will be no more night shifts. I really need to live like a human.” Aisha was wearing an apple green top with a butterfly motif. Her hair was mussed up, projecting her large, dangling triangular earrings. She looked younger than her age, and younger without her dreary, white doctor’s uniform.

“Let me see what’s on the menu first.” Jade was swiping the menu with her finger, which is a built-in touch screen on the surface of the table. Each table has four touch screen menus to allow dine-in customers to choose and order from the menu from their own table.

“I’ll have the Frothy Pink Cocoa and waffles,” Jade said and touched on the ‘Confirm’ button.

“So, how did everything go?” Aisha asked impatiently as soon as Jade has done her ordering.

“It was good. I couldn’t be happier. They offered me a place as Strategic Intelligence Officer.” Jade could not hide her elation. She was literally smiling the whole time.

“It’s great to hear that, congratulations! Although I haven’t a clue on what is an Intelligent Officer. Sounds like a smart job.”

A skinny young waitress with short brown hair approached her with a glass of pink frothy cocoa and four pieces of waffles with honey over. “Enjoy your meal,” she said shyly.

“Thanks.” Jade beamed in a good mood.

“Strategic Intelligence Officer,” Jade corrected, taking a sip at her pink cocoa. “Well basically handling and analysing information that leads to any possible political conflicts, threats, attacks, wars et cetera et cetera.”

“Sounds fun, well, if you manage to crack a case.”

“Hopefully. Not as fun as yours but at least I work five days a week, no night shifts, if there isn’t any urgent crisis to be dealt with.”

“Oh about that, it will be fun if I get accepted by the Green Sand Military Hospital.” Aisha had sent her job application to the Green Sand Military Hospital since many of her doctor friends recommended the place to her. She thought it would cool to work at the Military Hospital as medic officer. Another reason is because of Commander Pine, whom she was hoping to bump into him accidentally, or shows up in her consultation room one day.

“So, how did your application go?” Jade asked.

“I don’t know. I’ve just submitted the application few days ago. It would probably take a week or two. Oh I really hope they would take me in,” Aisha clenched her hands together.

“Best of luck to you.” Jade smiled.

The girls spent the late morning with casual talks on works, friends, and family.

“Seriously Jade,” Aisha said, and slurped her hot cocoa. “Why don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“What a sudden bizarre thing to ask, Aisha.” Jade shoved a piece of waffle into her mouth.

“Well, you don’t go out for dates anymore. I think it’s a little peculiar… of you.”

“I dated Josh. Just in case you forgot.” Jade rolled her eyes over the unpleasant memory.

Josh West. Not a bad looking guy, but what a squirt. The two dated two years ago, and it only lasted for two weeks. Why did she even think of dating him was the question. Was it because of loneliness? Or simply a try-out? Her first boyfriend turned out to be a horrible, self-praising fellow who rhapsodised about his family fortune and oh-so-glamour social class brazenly in almost every conversation. Jade couldn’t stand him. She just had to get rid of him. Once they bumped into each other at school, and Josh gave him that dirty look she would never forget. Clearly he was hot under the collar for being dumped. With that kind of ego level, Jade had guessed he hates her as long as he lives.

Aisha chuckled over Josh, because she simply thought that he was just an iffy choice. She advised Jade to analyse and inspect a man thoroughly before accepting his proposal, like an intelligent officer.

“Tell me, Jade. Honestly. You are in love with someone already, aren’t you?” Aisha asked with a grin, yet giving penetrating look in the eyes. It sent her a chill down her bone for no reason.

“Hah. What makes you say that? You’ve been taking up psychology class lately?” Jade prevaricated, and kept away from eye contact with Aisha. This is a sensitive topic that she had been trying to avoid to discuss openly with anyone. She was extremely reticent about her inner feelings. Deep down, she felt uneasily shameful for having this special feeling towards this person. She quickly impaled another piece of waffle and shoved it into her mouth.

“Jade… you like Romey, don’t you?” Aisha said, placing both her elbows on the table, and her chin on her back of her hands. She leaned closer with a suspicious look. The dark brown orbs of her eyes were as piercing as a javelin.

Jade went jumpy after hearing what Aisha had said. Her heart started to pound impetuously beyond her control. Aisha’s daring question triggered another level of her angst.

“Romey? Come one. He is my brother.” Jade laughed raucously, with a mouthful of waffle, highly aware that that wasn’t going to dispel Aisha’s curiosity. Aisha gave her a scathing look.

“Good attempt to circumvent my question, but uh, unfortunately I know what you are thinking,” Aisha said, her scathing look remained. “You are in love with Romey. I have a feeling of that, long time ago. But I don’t want to interfere because, you know, you two are my good friends. So I’m just waiting to see if anything happens. But nothing happens between the two of you and that starts to irk me.”

“Wh… what makes you think I am in love with Romey?” Jade couldn’t help but stammered over her words.

Aisha gave an irritated sigh. “Oh I have lots of unrecorded proves for you. I’ll just say one out randomly. Once, I told you one of my friends had a crush on Romey. I remember the look on your face. You should look how your face changed instantly. You were infuriated, displeased, it’s all written on your face. If that wasn’t obvious enough, I caught you looking at the short clips of Romey playing SOAR when you accompanied me to the dentist.”

Mummed and terrified. Jade recalled back to the day she accompanied Aisha to the dentist. Aisha wasn’t lying. She did flip a few clips of Gerome while waiting for Aisha. Aisha must have seen it when she came out from the dental room, from behind. Her heart raced frantically. Her face was boiling hot, extremely embarrassed. How long did Aisha stand behind her? What did she see? She wanted to bury her head into the ground like an ostrich right at that moment.

“Goodness… I didn’t know you actually saw that.” Jade shook her head, too mortified to even look at Aisha.

Aisha leaned back and sighed. “What took you so long, girl?”

Jade’s shoulders dropped like quicksand. She dreaded to even imagine about it. “I just… don’t know if it is right or wrong. I mean, he is my brother. What if he thinks I’m insane?”

“Romey likes you. I am hundred percent sure,” Aisha said, leaning her back against the chair. “Just in case that is what you have been worrying about the whole time,” she added.

“I’m not sure about this,” Jade said. Her voice was tiny and feeble. She looked outside the window and saw a happy couple walked by, holding hands and whispering endearments to each other. She realized how much she ached for that kind of love.

“I mean, you know. Romey is part of our family. And if we… you know get together, I don’t know if mom and dad will approve it. It would be weird, wouldn’t it?”

“You think too much. We all know you and Romey are not blood related.” Aisha stirred her cocoa with a stainless steel stirrer stick. “The thing is Jade, you care too much about what other people think, and how they feel. You just want to make everyone feels happy, and then you take the sour part to yourself. I mean, what is the point? You are not obliged to please people.”

Aisha was right. She didn’t do psychology, but she was definitely right this time. Jade knew it all along but she just did not see it as a problem. “I guess you are right. I am a people pleaser.”

“Mmm hmm.” Aisha gave a serious nod. “So how are you going to please yourself?”

Jade pondered, then shrugged melancholy. “I have no idea, honestly.”

“Why don’t you find a time, just the two of you, then tell him?”

“No, I’m not going to do that. I mean, I’m not the type, you know.” Tell him my feeling? Impossible. She was already in cold sweat just imagining Gerome’s reaction. “You know I can’t face him. It kills me.”

“You are hopeless,” Aisha rolled her eyes. “So you intend to wait?”

Jade nodded, stiffly.

“I’m not saying that you should make the move, or whoever should make the move. But you have to understand Jade, Romey is a soldier. He flies his jet and goes out for war. You should really appreciate the time you have together, you know what I mean.”

Aisha’s words flew across the table like a dagger, stabbed right into her heart. She was right again. Armies, they go out and fight, offer their lives in order to gratify peace for the multitude. Some were fortunate enough to come back alive, some were left physically handicapped, others never come back.

Aisha crossed her fingers. “Whatever you have in mind, don’t take too long. I really hope you two could be honest to each other, and just… be together. Why fritter away the precious time you have now?”

For the first time in her life, Jade felt determined after the spirited conversation she had with Aisha. She finally had someone to share her complicated feeling with.

“I guess you are right, Aisha. I really do love him. From the day he came to live with us, I have already fallen in love with him. He is always more than a brother to me. I hide my feelings everyday living like this, until now.” Jade cleared her throat. “Until now, I am still waiting.” She led out a light puff.

“It’s up to you to decide. Make the best decision and don’t regret,” Aisha spoke in a comforting tone, and took a last slurp of her cocoa.

Jade was transfixed by the uncertainty of her future with Gerome.

“Let’s go. I know how to get this done,” Aisha said in an abrupt lively tone.

“Get what done?” Jade had no idea what Aisha was up to. She always seems to have a sudden impulse to do unplanned things.

“We’ll go get ourselves full body massage. It helps to relax. You’ll be refreshed after that. Trust me,” Aisha said with a conspiratorial smile.

“Is it… expensive?” Jade sounded worry. Aisha had this overly-generous spending habit.

“All expenses on me, sister. Let’s go.”