Hell=Hero

What is a hero? Someone with the power to save people or someone willing to save people?

Many will choose the second answer, and will probably say that a person like that fits the description of an ideal hero.

However, if the hero at his turn is in front of the gate of death, who will save him if he doesn't have any power?

Heroes are human too, but in a society where superpower exists, people that are categorized as heroes are far from being, if completely not, viewed as normal humans.

Thus, in this world, someone who cannot sacrifice everything that categorized them as a normal human can never become a hero.

(The author wants to make a dramatic setting, but I tell you. It's worse when you live here like me.)

Unlike many people who struggle against the fate or the trauma of their dead parents before becoming a hero, I was born with the ability to use all of the power that is allowed to exist in this world.

I know that after hearing that introduction, many of you expect that I was a god in my previous life and lived in a fantasy world where a dragon exists, then reborn in an average family and that this is a story where I build a harem then become the president, but you got it wrong.

I am an orphan, and it is not as convenient as it sounds, since I can only use one kind of power at a time, and randomly, I repeat, randomly with om duration.

It goes from snorting deadly acid to teleportation and can last thirty minutes to one week or more.

Yes, it's completely useless most of the the the time, but I only realized that after testing it.

That means, that if given the choice, I will never choose to become a superhero

I don't have a high-tech laboratory where I can build armors and weapons anyway.

However, a very cunning and disgusting person changed how I perceived the world.

At first, I never realized what he wanted to do but he was already there from the beginning.

It happened not a long ago when I still lived alone in an old room inside of a shabby building situated in a zone abandoned by the authorities due to the high crime rate and mostly because of how the poor gathered in the area.

I was in that situation because of many reasons (personal and economic) but that's how this world-class system works.

Since I was still waiting for my curvy soul mate, I usually spent my days alone working as a streamer or giving advice to people in need.

However, to my surprise, a cat visited me on a very hot day.

It was a fat cat with fluffy white fur and crystal-like blue eyes. Its tail was standing high as it roamed around my room, and it mewled with a strange-sounding tone.

I couldn't help but caress it and the feeling of rubbing its belly is very satisfying.

I didn't think too much about it at first, but the cat visited me frequently after that first encounter and It ate a lot so I ended up buying it food and toys, even though I didn't have a stable income.

Nevertheless, I think it was worth it is given that it became fluffier than before. It's a little embarrassing but I didn't dedicate much time looking after it but I considered it as my friend.

Unfortunately, these days that I spent happily rubbing it, washing it, taking care of its fur, didn't last long and that was because I met an older woman.

The older woman in question told me something very ominous on that particular day, just after I came out of my room to resupply my survival rations.

It seemed that she rented a room inside of the shabby building where I lived too.

It is not that surprising to see older people in place like this in this world, mostly because they were abandoned by their children and couldn't afford to live in the city.

"Hey, youngster... It seems... like... one of us... have... to die... today."

That's what she said to me as soon as I stepped out of my room and passed the door next to mine.

I was freaked out and jumped back after hearing her talking, and didn't pay attention to what she said at that moment.

"Huh- Good morning..." That is what I could say before I left in a hurry.

When I was outside of the building, I turned and saw the older woman watching from a window on the second floor.

It was so freaky and I thought that maybe I saw a ghost.

I was worried about my future and considered moving if this ghost try to do anything funny to me at night.

Well, I was feeling a little disappointed too, probably because I read too much of "My roommate is a ghost" and some titles along the line at that time.

I never thought even for a second that my life will stray even farther from the path that was supposed to lead me to my curvy soul mate because of what happened that day.

I heard that everyone has their hell reserved for them, and I am not questioning the true nature of hell, but I can say that my life turned into a hellish one from that day onward; to the point that I cannot go to the toilet without bringing my gun, well bringing two guns.

I remember correctly that I was on my way to the shady building right after purchasing survival rations to sustain my daily life when I found a bunch of "clearly not your average middle-aged man" wandering around the street and next to the building.

It's not unusual to see this kind of people around this zone, even the shopkeeper had a terrifying look even though he is a nice guy, but my point is that they are wearing outfits that people around here cannot afford so it was not normal.

Even the local punks didn't dare to walk near them, mostly because of the black sunglasses, yes even now I am sure of that.

As for me, I didn't want anything to do with them so I activated one of the skills that I developed when I was still studying at the university: "Background man".

It consists of moving at a pace where you wouldn't attract the eyes of a person if they don't pay attention to you.

Most of the time, people only pay attention to something that they are interested in or something that cannot avoid.

In that case, I just had to move with the background like the branch of a tree moved by the wind. That's why I bet that no one even remembered me when I dropped out.

I walked slowly but normally without putting too much force on the back of my foot as I strode along the devastated-looking street. With the background mode, and without looking down I breathed normally.

Then, I saw it, the ghost. It had a form of an older woman and was surrounded by muscular guys.

To be honest, at that moment I thought that a special department related to the government that deals with supernatural phenomena dispatched their agents to deal with the ghost.

And it must have been a very powerful one if they dispatched this number of people just to deal with one, or so I thought.

As I was lost in these thoughts as I walked until I reached my door and took a final glance at the ghost and the agents.

"Sorry, ghost, if you were forty years younger you would have been my type."

However, the ghost pointed at me and all of the agents(?) looked at me, so I entered the building without looking back.

" What the hell was that?!"

I couldn't help but blurt these words after entering my room and locking the door and the window.

" I hope that she was pointing at the guy behind me... Hahaha... That must be it..."

I walked toward the window slowly without making a sound.

"Calm down, calm down... or am I a ghost but I just don't know it?"

With that said, I moved the curtain a little and peeked outside. I observed intended to observe quietly but...

'You are not going to give me food?'

"What the %f@K?!!! Who is there?

I jumped back with my back against the wall as soon as I heard that voice and took a defensive stance, which is Bruce Lee's form and with the voice.

"Oaaaaaaa..."

At that time I made a realization, and what I found out is something that will help those who did something cringe during a drinking party to move on.

[The author is probably talking about his experience through me because they were drunk and someone tried to make a move on their crush.]

I realized that the things humans do in a desperate situation are sometimes predetermined and embedded in their genes so we can even say that it's a second nature that is not accepted by society, and so they do it unconsciously.

That's why I am not embarrassed because I did nothing wrong.

This means that it is not appropriate to laugh when the weakest character in the show does these things.

So advise you to move on too if you did that in front of people as an act to protect yourself, since it's not something to be ashamed of.

Even after all of that, what I saw in front of me was the white cat.

I was glad that no one saw that.

However, seeing the cat made me realize that my theory of being in a sort of comic world where I can communicate with the scriptwriter is true or I was living with a ghost (or just crazy) but unfortunately that wasn't it.

'Lately, that old human don't feed me that much...'

"Whaaa..."

That day, I could use a telepathic ability that let me interpret animals' thoughts, that's why I could communicate with the cat.

How did I know that? Because I was targeted by dogs when I went out that morning and I could hear them saying: 'Better than nothing!'

I was shocked in many ways, but I was sure of one thing at that moment when I heard the cat's thought I was sure of one thing: "These guys outside are bad news."

I thought about the possibilities, and deducted a few things from my high-level thinking process: First, the older woman wasn't a ghost and she gave my information to the guy outside.

'Whatever, give me food...'

"I swear this damn cat... At least pretend to be sad..."

In the end, I knew that all of these are just pointless thinking to sugarcoat the truth and I was just a coward like many people who walked on the street that day. Anyone could conclude what happens when a sick older woman who can't pay her rent live in a place like this.

" I am probably going to die though haha..."

I walked to the door and took my baseball bat which was a limited edition replica of the weapon used by that psycho girl in that superhero movie. The weapon is said to hold the power to exterminate even extraterrestrial beings.

"Unfortunately, this is a suicide..."

I was gathering some courage inside of my guts and then tried to unlock the door.

The cat bumped its head on my feet in a very cute way, as if to say good luck, but unfortunately, I could hear his thoughts which is asking for food.

Though, instinctively or not, I regretted thinking about what I was planning to do, mostly because of the trauma that made me hate nail cutters.

As I opened the lock, I could feel that my feet weren't on the ground, and I was sent flying back like a mere plastic sex doll ( I just wanted to use this as a reference because it is easier for people to understand) and crashed on the ground by a powerful wind pressure coming from the outside.

It all happened so fast that my brain couldn't even process what my entire body felt.

The pain was too real that there is no way to describe it precisely apart from comparing it to the thought of being crushed by a road roller.

My body was still in one piece at that point but I had a hard time standing up. After that, a huge guy with a tight black costume covers his whole body and emphasis his muscular part mostly because he is a villain.

"Go easy on him Bernard, we can't afford to damage the merchandise."

A guy wearing a pair of sunglass (the other ones took off their sunglasses because the inside of the building was shadowy) entered the room.

He wasn't as huge as Bernard but he had this cunning look about him, so I could say that he was the leader of this gang.

He had shoulder-length red hair tied into a ponytail and wore a classy black suit with a pink strawberry patterned necktie that I think served to distinguish him from the rest of the gang but not his taste.

The red-haired man approached me and reached his hand as if he wanted a handshake from a potential customer.

"I am Red and I am here to collect you, but don't worry, if you are lucky you will be reborn as a new human..."

"What the f%#k is doing inside of my room bastards?!!"

I shouted with all my might to not be crushed under the pressure and to keep my head cool and without a doubt not because I almost peed in my pants.

I took a defensive stance while holding my bat with my hands. As if preparing myself to hit a home run, I focused my attention on his Red's head.

"Calm down, calm down, there is no need to panic, let's sit down first and talk."

Red had this threatening businessman smile on his face, along with a disturbing friendly aura.

"You guys were the ones who sent me flying and you want a friendly talk? Yeah, of course, we can talk hahaha... We can talk about how to improve personal tastes."

I took a peek at his strawberry necktie as I said these lines nervously. I didn't have anything against it but I couldn't help but say it anyway.

A vein popped up on the Red's forehead after our friendly exchange and he put his hands inside of his pants pockets.

The atmosphere became heavier than before and it was not my fault but Red's, and his indecisiveness.

He should have just said if he was one of my followers who wanted a bit of advice on how to find a soul mate without feeling ashamed of your taste.

"Hahaha, It cannot be helped... Bernard, I leave him in your care, let's say that we reached our quota for today so this would be inevitable to keep everything clean..."

Red turned his back on his and strode outside of the room. I didn't think that he will take that personally.

The cat approached Red with an angry growl but he kicked it aside violently.

"Hey, leave Beartoold alone!!"

"Hmph."

I can conclude that Red is a dog lover, but he didn't have to kick him like that.

Beartoold crashed into the wall and then lay down on the floor, he couldn't stand anymore due to the violent attack that he received.

'Pain, pain, pain...'

I could hear Beartoold agonizing as he tried to stand up.

'Food...'

Beartoold thought about food until his last breath and then died.

"Bastard!!"

I felt an urge inside of my chest and before I knew it I dashed forward intending to swing down the bat and beat the crap out of Red.

I wanted to strangle that red-haired bastard and step on his balls at the same time, but the reality was different.

Before I could even make three steps I felt something hard grabbing my head and I was forced to witness something disgusting.

A huge testicle with teeth was grinning disgustingly right before my eyes.

I couldn't help but swing my bat at the abomination with all my might.

I hit Bernard until I ran out of coffee (or juice if you like it but I prefer coffee), but it didn't have any effect.

"You are an alien captured by these men in Black?"

"Graaaawrr!!"

As if Bernard understood what I was saying, he rushed ahead and smashed my head against the window behind me multiple times.

Then, he grabbed my leg and swung me around the room as a notebook turned into a legendary club used by a girl to battle a cockroach.

Blood spilled everywhere and at some point, my leg was severed from my body which fell to the floor.

I crawled and tried to distance myself from Bernard, but the pain was too intense.

"Enough Bernard, let him have a break. It doesn't hurt to be considerate of his feelings at times like this."

Red entered the room with a hamburger in his hand and still wearing his sunglasses. The bastard with red hair was a very sensible guy when it comes to his tastes.

"I am in a very friendly mood today so let's talk while eating this tasty green salad. Want some?"

'This bastard...'

I couldn't help but feel sorry for my bed where Red sat and took a mouthful bite of his salad.

" You see, nom... nom... you are a very pitiful and stupid bastard..."

I was wondering what he wanted to say but it turned out that it was something I already knew.

"Are curious about why we came here to pick up the trash you are and wanted to give you a chance to become at least less shitty than you are now? That is because we have nothing else better to do..." Red burst laughingly after saying these words, and realizing that it was supposed to be a joke, his men began to laugh with him too.

"We made sure that no one will look for you when you are gone because finding people like that is our job you see... So even if you die here, no one will be sad... Anyway, that's what I wanted to say, you can rest in peace now!"

Red made a gesture with his thumb indicating that Bernard can finish me down.

The tall and muscular guy that looked like a villain from all of these popular old movies approached me slowly and closed the window above my head, precisely what was left of it, while I had my back against the wall just below. I

decided to call this guy "Bernard the testicular head".

His private part was close to my head but I couldn't muster any strength to bite them, as a last resort.

I was questioning his professionalism, seeing how careless he was, letting his private part in such a vulnerable angle. Well, looking at his pants, some other thoughts crossed my mind.

'If only I can kick him in the balls… It's a shame that I don't have one of my legs right now…' I couldn't help but grin.

"It will be a problem if someone heard your girly sounding scream, cause it will bring shame to our organization..." Bernard claimed with a deep and distorted voice.

'Eh?!! So he can talk...' That surprised me.

I don't know if Bernard tried to be sarcastic or cool but the line that he spouted at that time was way too lame even for me, or maybe not, who cares anyway.

More importantly, what he said is not logical after all of the mess they caused.

Bernard is undeniably stupid, but don't get the wrong idea, because he is an exception and real villains aren't stupid at all.

Unlike the villains who are under the obligation to wait for the protagonist to unleash their final form hidden deep inside of their memory.

Red took a nail cutter from his suit's inner pocket and began to cut his nail comfortably.

" I didn't have time cut them lately you see... Don't mind me."

I don't know why he made these nonsensical comments but I clearly understood that he took what I said before personally.

I was losing more and more blood and I had a hard time staying awake.

One of red's subordinates entered the room with a huge knife and handed it to Bernard.

"Make sure to finish what you do properly Bernard... Your promotion to the elite rank is at stake..."

As if pumped up by these words, Bernard growled. He took the knife and looked down at me in the eye.