The Feelings of a Failure (Toga)

He could see nothing, but infinite darkness. His body however, started to become lucid. Aching pains on his joints. Sore all over. Parts of his bruised and battered flesh, burning with the pain of the cold, open air whistling past him.

Toga started moving his arm around, feeling for anything that he could latch on to. He couldn't tell what was going on, or what was around him. He just knew he had to get up and go somewhere. He had to find him. Where was Nylo?

Toga fell off something and hit the floor. The shock of him hitting the ground was enough to jar his eyes awake. Despite them being open, there were still a flare of dark spots that was slowly being eroded by the vision put forth ahead of him. He was in a hut, with other injured people.

"Are you ok young man?" There were those rushing over towards him trying to help him up. "We have a waking one here,"

Toga pushed him off. "Nylo…"

"Excuse me?"

"Where's Nylo!" Toga demanded.

"I'm sorry son. We haven't yet identified everyone,"

He forced himself up and started limping towards the exit. If they weren't going to find him, then he would.

"Hold on sir, you're not ready to start moving around yet,"

"I DON'T CARE!" Toga yelled. If not just his brother, then what happened to Ryuma? He couldn't waste anymore time here.

Once he made it outside, he saw his mother standing right there. Her hair as auburn red as his was. "Mom…"

Toga lost all his strength and stumbled forward. She reacted quickly and caught him before he hit the ground. "Mom… please tell me you found him," Toga said, clutching her shirt with all the grip force he could muster.

Tanya nodded her head. "I'm sorry Toga. We cleaned up all the wreckage by now. There was no trace of him anywhere,"

In this moment, his heart shattered. His body stiffened and tears started welling up in his eyes. Much as he tried to hold it in, they couldn't help but spill out. His body shook involuntarily, so his mom pulled him in closer.

"I knew… I saw it happen right in front of me… he's gone…" Toga said.

"Toga… it's ok," He could hear the hurt in his mom's voice. "It's not your fault. There's nothing anybody could have done in that situation,"

"But I… I was supposed to protect him. If only I could have gotten him out…"

"THAT WAS A SHINING SPIRIT!" His mom yelled. It was enough to shut him down. "Don't be so arrogant, to think that you could have taken that monster on,"

He thought back to that night. It was like nothing he's ever seen before. No matter what he and Ryuma did, they couldn't so much as scratch it.

Toga's eyes widened when Ryuma came into mind. He looked back and forth. "Ryuma… that's right! Where's Ryuma? He was there that night!" He wiped his eyes. He might have lost Nylo, but Ryuma was certainly still alive right?

"I don't care!" Tanya said.

"Mom, he's still my…"

"He's your what!? Your friend!? Look around you Toga! That thing that went berserk, destroyed its own territory, and took your brother's life. They all worship that beast! We're not staying here another day! We're leaving!"

He's never seen his mother so furious. It was understandable. She lost one son and almost lost the other one. To take it out on Ryuma was a bit much.

"I know mom. But if it wasn't for Ryuma, we…"

"WE WHAT!? From what I heard, he's the one who sent an edict away. Somebody powerful enough to be able to take on that thing and that boy chooses to get on his bad side. Far as I'm concerned, this whole eastern island is a cult. A death cult at that,"

Toga looked away. He failed to come up with an adequate defense for his missing friend. Was it possible that this was all Ryuma's fault? From his perspective, Ryuma was being the reasonable one. He was on his hands and knees for god's sake.

Though he wanted to argue it, he said nothing.

"I suggest, you wise up and do the same,"

Toga looked in the direction his mom was looking in and saw Clara standing right there. She looked visibly upset.

"Clara. Please tell me if you know whether Ryuma is safe or not," He said.

Clara's face drooped as she looked downwards. "I'm sorry Toga. I wasn't there to see,"

"If you're talking about that duel wielder, I'd say it's too late for him," It was a lone Red Dog priest sitting against the crumbling wall. He had bandages around a missing arm, curtesy of the recent attack. "Kid defended you with all he had, even managed to stave the dragon off course. But the bastard took him. Flew off further towards the east to God knows where. Though I'd give up on him if I were you. "I'd imagine aint nothing good coming from something that large having you in his clutches,"

In Toga's head, that meant Ryuma was still alive somewhere.

He knew how clever Ryuma could be. Realistically, in a situation like this, even he would have a tough time getting out of that one.

But if the Dragon wanted to kill him, why did it even bother grabbing him? There was still hope that it was taking him somewhere.

Toga grimaced at the thought of that Dragon. If anything he does in life, he was going to kill that fucking thing.

"Well I don't care what that thing is up to and why. We're heading back West this instance," Tanya pulled on his arm, and he yanked it away.

She turned towards him with a shocked expression. "Toga, what has gotten into you?"

"I'm going to kill that thing… I'm not going back home," Toga said.

"Are you insane? You almost died taking that thing on and you want to fight it again?"

The way she asked that, it reminded him of himself. Did he sound like that when addressing Ryuma? Either he was getting a reflection of himself through his mother, or Ryuma was starting to rub off on him in some way.

Maybe she was right… Maybe he was crazy.

"Even so. I'll get stronger," He said it with complete finality

Clara sighed. "Hey muscle brain. Did you forget your goal was to join the sentries? Can't exactly start running around chasing dragons now, could you?"

Toga had to think. Clara was right. The sentries were supposed to stay up in the Skylands and guard the Edicts. They wouldn't allow him to go down below to go hunting a dragon. The more he thought about it, the more he started to realize that this was the crossroad in his life. Find Ryuma and Avenge Nylo or join the sentinels and fulfill his promise… to her.

His mind was stuck at a crossroads. It froze him up and he didn't know what to do.

Clara stayed glaring at him and he could feel it. What was with this girl and what did she want from him? His mom stared at him as well. It was like they wanted to see more than anything which one he would choose.

"Excuse me young man," A random priest dressed in the Red Dog garb grabbed their attention. "Are you the one known as Toga? Toga Dawnheart?"

Toga looked at his mother in confusion. She gave him the same apprehensive look he gave her. She must not know what's going on any more than he did. He looked back at the man with more aggression.

"What do you want?"

"Oh great. It's nice to finally meet you. My name is Krisco," He said, offering his hand out. He ignored the tone in Toga's voice.

"Just get on with it. I'm not in that kind of mood,"

Krisco smiled. "Eyewitness accounts have stated that you were able to damage the dragon with an attack before it fled eastward, am I to assume this is correct?"

Toga thought back to that night. Did he do something like that? Truth be told, there wasn't much he could remember, he did get knocked out.

"Urghh…" He suddenly grabbed his head. He was getting a massive headache.

"It's ok my boy. If it's too painful to remember, you don't have to," Krisco said.

Toga took a few deep breaths. "It's fine. Just tell me what this is about please,"

"Very well," Krisco cleared his throat into his fist. "By order of the High Edict, you are to be summoned to the central island as soon as you are informed. As you well know, no order coming from central is to be ignored,"

All of those present gave an audible gasp.

What was going on? How did he manage to capture the eyes of the High Edict? What did he do? Since there was no mention of his academy performance, certainly it couldn't be related to that.

"May I ask for what reason?" Toga asked. It was a good thing none of the High Edicts were here. At best, he could've only asked a question like that after he complied.

In this circumstance, it didn't make much difference. He'd have to go anyways.

"Well if you must know. We certainly figured out the reason as to why the Red Dogs shining spirit has taken a bit of a delay in awakening in the western island. It's been highly suspect that he's been sleeping in a Dog of the East. There's high evidence, that he's been in you… Toga Dawnheart,"