Chapter 4

"Can't believe this," Z mutters miserably as we get in the Kian's car.

Tell me about it, I think bitterly.

Kian may have gotten a few words from me this morning, but I fully intended to go back to my tight-lipped silence. It shouldn't be hard, after all, I've managed it for twelve years, and as soon as we graduate, I plan to move far enough away from Kian so that I no longer have to endure his scheduled visits. I can't help but lose reasoning when he's around.

I'd have thought it less strange if he had insisted on seeing me on my birthday each year, but no, it was once a month minimum, like clockwork. He never failed to show up.

When I was younger, the visits were always the same day of each month, until I started trying to avoid them and making plans to be elsewhere. He caught on pretty quickly though—my parents would only tell me about his visits the day they were happening. Once, I had only had an hour's warning.

I couldn’t escape him.

But why me?

I was nothing special, just a damaged kid that grew up in fear. I could sense them wherever we went, to the point that I didn’t like going out anymore, unless it was one of my failed attempts to escape from Kian's visits.

Why was he so insistent on seeing me regularly?

These thoughts wouldn’t leave me alone; they plagued me over an over whenever Kian was around.

Was I a weirdo for being able to sense them? The ability to sense vampires couldn't be normal. Was it to make sure I didn't tell anyone?

Not that anyone would believe a thing I said anyway…

Z and I often wondered this late at night. Though, unlike me, he wasn’t afraid. He had no problems in being around vampires, but seemed to loathe Kian.

"So," Z begins. "Why was that letter so important? Couldn't it have waited?"

Kian shrugs. He gives nothing away. Not even a twitch of the lips.

"Nothing you need concern yourself with for now."

Always so straightforward with Z. Why so cryptic with me?

"And why is that?"

Z tilts his head to the side and narrows his gazesuspiciously. I see Kian's eyes move to mine in the rear-view mirror, and I look away. This is one of the only real chances I have to examine him without him noticing everything I do. Z and I choose to sit in the back, as far away as I can get from Kian. Whilst he has to concentrate on the snow swept roads, we are free to observe.

I sometimes wonder whether Z could take Kian. If he were human like the rest of us, my answer would be a definite yes. However, he isn’t. While Z grew up learning martial arts and hand-to-hand combat skills, Kian has superior vampire strength, naturally.

At least school will provide some form of distraction.

The Academy was a fairly new university, but it wasn't that old. It had opened maybe ten, twelve years ago. Or so the website says.

It wasn't my first choice. Our local university had a better reputation for my course, but mum and dad had pushed for us to bump the Academy up to second choice. I can't say I was thrilled as there was another university a little closer.

But at least Kian couldn't be around me whilst I was there. His unwelcome visits wouldn’t be so easy while Z and I were staying in the dorms.

"Are you looking forward to school, Alex?"

"Why do you call her that?"

Z's best defence of me is to keep the attention off of me where possible.

Kian lets out a short chuckle.

"I've know her far longer than you think."

"She's my sister, I doubt that."

Kian presses his lips together in a tight line. I feel that he's holding something back.

I nudge Z. 'Leave it,' I mouth.

We drive on in silence, though I feel Kian stealing glances now and then.

'I don't like this,' I sign to Z.

'I know,' he signs back.

I'm glad I begged Z to learn sigh language with me. We could communicate without outside interference. Though mum and dad hadn't seemed impressed and frowned when they found out, it wasn't like they could do anything. I asked them not to say anything to Kian, which they promised. I think they were shocked at how happy it made me.

This is the first time we've used it in front of Kian. I don't think he was expecting it.

Eventually I drift off to sleep, Z signing to me that he'll keep an eye on things when he sees me fighting my heavy eyelids.

I am woken some time later in the evening as we pull onto a gravel driveway.

"I'll get the room sorted," Kian exits the car, leaving me alone with Z at last.

I let out a breath.

"I know," Z grins.

"I'm glad I managed to sleep through most of it."

"Going mute again?"

"Heck yeah. He may not have taken the hint from my years of silence, but I'm not about to start getting comfortable. If I start 'talking' to him, it'll only encourage him. I want distance."

"I'm hearing ya. Come on."

We get out of the car and Z stretches his arms to the sky.

"It's cold," I say.

"Hmm."

I start jogging on the spot to get some heat into my muscles. The snow begins to fall again and my hair is whipped around my head, obscuring my vision until I clear it.

"Let's go."

Kian comes back with a couple card keys, one of which he tries to give to me. Z snatches it when I don't react.

"Lex," Z says, grabbing my hand. "Room number four-two-three. Let's go."

I sling my backpack over my shoulder and follow him as we walk along the path. The motel issingle-storey and it's hard to make out the colours of the doors until we are passing them. We find our number. Z reaches into his pocket, pulls out the key, and unlocks our room. Kian stops the door from closing and follows us in.

"Hell no," Z protests as he walks into the room, and drops his own bag.

"I don't much appreciate your tone Zero."

He's not staying here, I sign.

Kian frowns at our exchange, while Z smirks.

"Don't know sign language Kian? That's too bad."

Kian only sighs.

"Where are you staying? It's certainly not with us."

"This is the room your parents booked. It'd be a shame to waste their money. I'm not leaving Alex's side. Besides, there are other vampires staying here."

The hairs on my neck stand to attention at this new information.

"Where?" I blurt.

"They're on the farthest side of the complex."

No wonder I couldn’t sense them…

"The only question worth addressing is who's sleeping where."

'Single bed,' I sign quickly.

"We're taking the singles," Z informs as I make my way to the furthest single bed, ensuring the other is between it and the king-size.

I hear Kian sigh but pay little attention. There's no way I'm putting myself any closer to him than is absolutely necessary.

"Alex, come here," he says.

I shake my head. Not a chance. My nerves are already shot enough as it is. And we've still got a logn way to go tomorrow…

"I want you close to me; you're most at risk here."

'No,' I sign.

"Leave her be," Z responds.

"Zero—" Kian starts.

I've had enough! I'm tired and want to sleep already!

"Stop it!" I snap.

Surprise flares in his eyes, before turning to something darker.

So much for continuing the silent treatment… but I feel that I worked up enough courage to talk back. Why on earth did it take me so long? Must have been all the extra time I've been around him today.

"Alex—"

"No. I'm staying here. I don’t want to be near you. It's bad enough I have to be in the same room."

"That's how you feel?"

He tilts his head.

He closes his eyes, holds his breath for a moment, and exhales in a sharp puff. When he reopens his eyes, I can see the pain he tries so hard to mask.

No, no, no ,no!

Stop making me feel like this!

My heart clenches. I don't want to feel his pain.

"As if you didn’t know it already. I hate being around you."

I feel the impact of my words without seeing his face.

I slam the bathroom door behind me.