Sixteen

I'm so sorry, sir." She muttered as she collapsed in the snow. "I'm so sorry. I… I didn't mean to."

Carlos dove for the snow and rolled on the ground for a few seconds before standing. His coat was scorched, and a section of hair was missing. He rubbed snow on the side of his head waving her off.

"Its fine, you're fine." He put a nervous smile on his face. "It's a drill. I wanted to run a drill."

"I know, I'm just so, so sorry." She cried into her hands.

Carlos Ramirez straightened his back and squared his shoulders.

"Get up, Greene." He commanded in front of her. "I want to help you control your fire."

She looked up at him, "no, I can't. And you're just going to get hurt again. I'm a monster." Again, she wept in the snow.

He tried another approach, "I need you to try. Before I get hurt again anyway."

Visibly, she deflated. He was right and she knew it. It had been put off and held in for so long, too long. This would be messy. She had, at last, resigned herself to confronting her greatest demon. The thing we most fear is not that we are weak or small; it is that we are powerful past any measure, larger than life. This truth is what drove her stubbornness about her fire, and she had finally reached the point that she needed to swallow her fears and push herself into the inferno. To walk through flames.

That afternoon Ramirez stood behind her, watching. Time after time amber stared into the water or listened to the wind and got a spark to rumble from her fingers. Sometimes she would even get a flash of flame or ripples of heat before the show fizzled out. She was mad. When the attempts aren't a complete failure, they are mere flickers of success teasing her, laughing at her sweating and frustrated.

She tried again, heat rolled from her palm and ripples burst into a soft, small, yellow flame. She smiled and put more focus into the fading light when it sizzled and died with a "pop!" sending sparks searing into her palm.

"Gah! Shit!" she yelled.

That was it. She was so finished with this. How pathetic was she that she had all this power inside her and she couldn't keep a small flame alive much less keep from burning herself? Her eyes swirled to a deep orange. The sound that ripped through the air could have been her screaming furiously at the universe, at the world, or it could have been the screech of oxygen being consume too fast for its liking, Carlos couldn't tell. He took a few steps back from her, his eyes wide, a spiral of green and orange flames erupted from her mouth.

Over and over she swore encouraging the rushing success and fury. Finally, after five quick bursts she calmed. Still cursing quietly, she examined her hands. She was a mess, sweating furiously and panting with exhaustion. Suddenly there came a burst of sound. Odd, yet familiar. She turned to look behind her and there was Ramirez, laughing. Her lips crept into a smile all on their own. He snorted once, and she almost blew a snot bubble when her own laugh ripped from her, unexpectedly.

The two collapsed and laid in the slush on the dock panting and crying from laughter, chasing their breath. A long, low sigh rolled from Ramirez.

"I haven't laughed like that in years." He said. "Didn't know I still could."

Amber rolled to her side and looked at him, "me either. You snorted." She said smiling again.

"Well you did nothing but piss yourself off, and somehow that worked. Did you ever think that your uncontrolled temper and uncontrollable fire were connected?" he said looking down at her.

"Once. But I couldn't exactly do much about it in base." She admitted. "Fire is an emotional thing, the stronger my emotions, the more powerful the fire will be."

He smiled again at her; she was a very clever young woman. She would learn, and it would be a terrifying thing. But it could be a very good thing. They climbed back to their feet, brushed the snow and water from their clothes, and walked off toward the cabin. It was surely time for supper and a hot shower. Tomorrow, he was sure, would be a very busy day.

Again, amber went through the ritual. The collection of clothing and towel, the pain of seeing herself disheveled in the mirror, the squeal of the shower knob. She found the right temperature and started undressing. Sometimes she looked at her life and was glad she didn't have a lot of chest to haul around, other times… it made her feel like less of a woman. Guys like big… girls, right? She didn't want to be alone forever.

Amber sighed to herself in the mirror and climbed into the shower. This was her favorite part, the flow of water massaging her shoulders as it hit her skin. Then the flow of it rolling down her back and chest. It never got old. She stepped in and leaned her head back brushing the water through her long dark brown hair. She squirted a mouthful as she turned forcing shampoo though the layers of hair.

Ten minutes later the knob was cut off and she stepped softly from behind the curtain. She felt like a lady once more and could finally act the part for the rest of the evening. She could be the person she wanted to be and stow the person she was made into. The fire didn't exist after the shower. She dried, wrapped her hair and tucked the towel securely around her body.

"Carlos, your turn!" she called as she emerged from the bathroom.

Stars burst from her head and she fell into blackness.