3. SAFEST PLACE

JELA

There are ten steps to reach his room. This is a huge apartment, and with the distance of ten steps, I settled in downstairs, and he settled in upstairs. I am sitting on the floor, gripping my knife hard to my chest. My hands started to tremble as I heard footsteps coming toward my room.

He didn't look like he was interested in me tonight. But earlier, when I stepped out for water, I watched him coming out from a room, which I assumed as a home bar cabinet. Because he had scotch in his hands, and a bottle of ice cubes. Men scare me. But drinkers scare the hell out of me.

What if he gets boozed and realizes that there was a girl in his house alone? I have locked the door, I have my knife. Still, they don't guarantee my safety. He is too strong. I can't fight him without stabbing him.

As the footsteps got louder, my heart pounded faster in my chest. A tear slipped from my eyes as I squeeze them shut. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve this constant fear.

I bit my lips, controlling the urge to cry when the steps stopped. Then they become distant. I rushed to the door and placed my ear on it. My body is still trembling with fear of what he might do. But the steps became distant, which means he is not coming to me.

I opened my door slowly to check with my own eyes. He is indeed going to his room. I sighed in relief, releasing the breath I hold till now.

I checked my bag for all the certificates. As I stared at the papers, reality started to sink in. I never wanted a marriage. According to them, I never obeyed whatever my parents have to say. They were so tired of me that they sent me to the hostel. I was the girl who threatened them to take her life to get what she wants. The girl who always made a mess at every party she attended. My father has always been ashamed of me. I am a disgrace to my brothers. Violet has struggled because of the reputation I got. I am the girl who rejected the seat at a prestigious business school and became a doctor, the girl who ran away from the house many times, the girl who tried to kill her uncle and the girl who was so jealous of her sister that she always tried to ruin her dates.

I did everything to avoid one day- my marriage to my father's liking. And here I am, married to a stranger. I went back to the day when my father told me that he had fixed a match. I immediately said no. Then he threatened that he would take away one thing I valued the most, one thing that makes sense in my life- my career.

He said he could kill the patient I am currently treating and get my license canceled. I highly doubted if he could do that. But he hit me when I was young, he choked me before my marriage, and I don't know what else he was capable of doing. For my family, marriage is an alliance. So everyone supported his decision. Even my mom.

Didn't she know that she was giving a stranger license to rape me? Why did she always fail to understand me when I say I fear men? She was my lost hope. But when she strictly objected to my objections to the wedding, I finally grasped something. There's no one to stand up for me, except for myself. This is how life will be. One should take care of oneself, especially women.

And I did the dumbest thing ever. I asked my best friend to kiss me. I started to cry, thinking about that. I was afraid, I panicked, and I did what I thought was the best. I asked him to kiss me so that I could feel numb.

I grab my phone, and immediately texted him.

ME: I am sorry.

I received the text after two seconds.

Ridge: I am sorry too. I shouldn't have tried to touch you like that. Honestly, I didn't mean it. It was your fault. You cock-blocked me this morning.

I laughed at the text while grabbing a tissue to sniff into. Today, he was having sex with a pink-haired goddess(according to him) he met the night before. After seeing my white gown, I panicked and immediately called him, exactly when he was about to cum, and the whole thing got disturbed.

Me: I don't know if I could face you again without any kind of awkwardness.

Ridge: I can. Coz I have no feelings for you. I am trying to get back with my pink-haired goddess.

Before I typed anything, my phone rang, flashing Nora's name.

"You alright?" She asked as soon as picked the phone up.

"Tell her that I am not feeling guilty, and she tasted like shit," Ridge shouted from the other side.

I laughed again.

"Go to bed, idiot." Nora cursed him.

His voice became distant. I guess she walked out of the bedroom to the balcony.

God, I miss that house. I miss them too. They have been my sun and moon. They didn't really know my past. They only knew that I have issues, and they never questioned it. Any relationship works better when we respect each other's privacy. Nora got a glimpse of my past because of the nightmares. Ridge is aware of nothing.

"It's just a kiss." She said. Her voice is somehow soothing me.

"Don't give a big thought about it. You had a lot going on with you."

"But Ridge,"

"Forget about Ridge." She said. "He will kiss any human being with long hair. You know that right?"

"Yes."

"Will you be okay?" She questioned.

"I think so. The contact-lens guy didn't seem to be interested in me." I tell her.

"A guy doesn't have to be interested in a girl to fuck her." Came Ridge's voice. He has been listening.

His sentence passed shudder through my spines.

"I didn't kiss you because I was interested in you. I kissed you because you were hysterical back then. He can do the same out of lust. I want you to.."

Before he said more, I heard Nora barking at him. I am sure she threw him out of the room. She is stronger than him.

"Whatever our idiot has said is true. You have to be very, very careful." She tells.

"I know," I say, closing my eyes.

"What is the situation there?" She asks.

"Nothing. We didn't interact yet. But I sensed something in his tone when he spoke to me. Anger and disgust. I still have to know why he got into this marriage. He gave me another room. Even though he didn't put it in words, he made it clear that I am not allowed to be in his room which is good for now." I explained.

"We can't trust men, can we? Anyway, if something happens, all you have to do is a call."

"I'll," I tell her.

Suddenly she became silent. Which means she is going to give a heartwarming speech. I don't think I'll stay awake until she finishes it. My eyes feel heavy after all the crying.

"You know what, Jela. You are brave." She says on the phone. "Just endure for a few more days. Then you will talk to that contact-lens guy, and you will be out of that marriage. I know a good lawyer. He is my ex."

"Did it end well?" I abruptly ask her. She has many exes that I lost count of.

She hesitated a bit to answer. "Not really. But, still, he is a good lawyer."

I sighed at her words. He doesn't seem to be a good lawyer anymore, especially when they end things badly.

"Then you will get out from there. Your father won't touch you anymore since you have ruined your first marriage. Then you will come to us, and we three will escape to Australia to build our careers."

It seems so easy and simple when she told me that. But here, facing it, in reality, is worse. I couldn't tell her that. They have had enough of my burdens.

I smiled and called it a day. She said she would fix an appointment with a therapist if I needed it. I have been taking so much stress lately because of my family.

But what I am afraid of, is myself. I don't know what I am becoming anymore, kissing my best friend, marrying a stranger, taking huge risks to secure my future, and the list goes on. I think I have read too many novels from Nora's collection. I can't complain. Books made everything so pretty- even when a girl is kidnapped by a hot, rich man. That's not how reality works.

Slowly, I gathered the strength to remove my dress and wear the pajamas of the contact lens guy. They are so big for me, but not as big as my wedding gown. So, this will do for one night. The dress is warm and I imagined myself as a princess in a cage. Suddenly, there is lightning and thunder, and finally, the prince came to rescue me. I laugh at the thought. I wonder how this world would have been if all the women believed in these fairytales.

*

I am a morning person-The kind of morning person who hates to wake up in the morning but can't help because her messed-up brain won't let her sleep. It was 6 AM when I heard quick footsteps outside my room. I seriously don't want to deal with this contact- lens guy this early. But I need something to eat. I slept with an empty stomach. I brushed my teeth, pushed back my messy hair, and walked out wearing the shoes I had before.

I am certainly not a pretty girl, not even close to my sister, Violet. But I have fair skin which always turns red with every emotion. I hate that about it. I can't mask what I feel. My body betrays me to do so. I don't have an hourglass body shape or am curvy like the women in my circle. I am lean, and whenever I eat a lot, which I always do, my stomach bloats. That's exactly something a woman should control, says my mom.

The only thing I love about myself is my long hair which reaches my waist and my bow-shaped lips and most importantly, my hidden dimple which only comes out when my lips were spread widely. That means I have to laugh like that. But Ridge says I laugh like a donkey, so people wouldn't want to see that. Then the most important thing about a lady(according to my mom) is her breasts and ass. Don't ask me about it.

When I look at myself in the mirror, I am sure I won't pass any of the tests that my parents consider to mark a Homosapien as a female. I don't want to pass it either. In the end, no matter how the woman looks, men would want to screw her.

I opened the door, touching my pockets, making sure about my knife, and walked out. When I got to the kitchen, which is sophisticatedly black and neat, I noticed a girl. It feels like a deja vu. Only, it didn't happen in my life. It happened in one of Nora's books I read. The girl marries the guy, and the next day, she finds that the guy has a girlfriend. And the girl's heart breaks at that sight. But mine is dancing. If he has a girlfriend, my job will be too easy.

She is blonde. Her hair is tied in a ponytail. She is drinking coffee leaning onto the kitchen island. Should I be mean to her? Should I bark at her? Should I make her cry. Well, the hero's girlfriends cry for no reason to frame the heroines. I don't think I have to try. If I do this, the contact-lens guy will immediately give me a divorce. And I can be on my own. The plan sounds good. So am I. I can't just be mean to a stranger. I sighed, dropping all the thoughts from my brain. I should stop reading those novels.

The girl might have heard my sight. She quickly turned around, and oh, my god! She is a girl, a very young girl, hardly fourteen years.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I ask her without even asking about her relationship with the owner of this house. Because my brain is currently assuming the worse. He is not doing anything to her, is he?

She quickly put the mug away, sucking in her thin lips. Her fingers started to fidget. She hesitates a lot to answer.

"Who are you?" I ask her.

"I..I am ..I.." She stuttered. "I work here." She finally spoke a large sentence.

SHE WORKS HERE!

"How old are you?" I enquired.

The hesitation started again.

I soften my eyes so that the girl won't be scared.

"It's okay. You can tell me. Are you related to that contact-lens guy?" I asked her.

"Contact lens guy?" Came a question. But it's not the girl. It's Bash who said that.

I turned around to look at him. He wore a grey t-shirt. He just came out of a gym. He was sweating and flaunting all his muscles. He looks hot, but I am not sweating. His eyes still looked bluish-grey.

"Who are you referring to?" He questioned me.

"How old is she?" I pointed towards her and asked him.

He leaned to the couch and drank water from the bottle in his hands. I could see the movement of his throat when he drinks.

"How old are you, Lyla?" He asks the girl.

"Four..fourteen." She replied.

My jaw dropped at her answer.

"What is she doing here?" I ask again.

"What are you doing here, Layla?" He asked her.

"I work here." She stuttered.

That's it. I lost my patience. "This is child labor," I shouted.

He ignored me and walked back to his room. "Take the books when you leave, Layla." He told her.

"I can report you," I yelled after him. But he ignored that too.

Son of a bitch!

"No please," Layla said, reaching out for me.

"I do a lot of part-time jobs, and this is one of them. He pays me well so that I can look after my family without having to work hard. It's just cleaning. That too, downstairs." She explained. She seems genuine. But I don't trust men.

"You can't just work at a man's house like that. And he is single too."

She gave me an awkward smile.

"I mean, he was single." I corrected my sentence, controlling the groan.

"Yes. I understand that you are concerned about my safety. But this house is the safest place on this planet earth." She says, holding my hands, urging me to let this slide.