Chapter 16: The Past That Cannot Be Undone.

The call with Gothra ended, leaving me in a bit of a daze...

A daze thinking about neko ears!

Now that's what I need.

"Ciraphim, we have those, right?"

"Yes we do, Bobby."

Alright! Now I'm gonna do what I always meant to do! Gothra's blue-balling was only temporary, this is permanent!

...

...

...

...

Oh wow. That was... wow.

I look at Ciraphim 'sleeping' at my side, wearing neko ears on her head. I also put some on at her request, so uuhhh yeah, so much for no human emotions.

I obliged of course, and I do think it's cute. Though my scaley- err, I mean dragonoid features (Fuck you Gothra!) are still there. So it does look a bit clunky and cluttered. although I feel like today, Ciraphim's usual smile or neutral face shined a bit brighter.

r maybe I just want to think that...?

Now I'm sad.

"Don't be sad Bobby," said Ciraphim, gently patting my head.

She was never really truly asleep. System Avatars don't need sleep, and they're usually at least cognizant enough to recognize unexpected occurrences that might happen. Though there are programs, and the actual full body of The System to monitor that, so it's not really necessary.

But, oh well.

I got up and did some stretches, getting on my chair that floats and spins around as countless holograms appear in front of me.

I look through my social feeds, without much reason really. I'm just so used to wasting my time like this...

Oh right, I wonder what Gothra's socials are? Maybe I'll ask her some time.

Or Martyra. Why is her game name so imprinted on me? Is it cause' it just fits so well with her appearance? Especially in real life, with her gothic lolita outfit, that even comes with enormous black wings.

Well, she herself doesn't seem to mind me calling her by her in-gam handle. Although I better not say Martyra in the game.

Now, I wonder what else...

Growl!

Oh hey, that's my stomach. I am hungry.

With The System in place, no one will ever really starve, and everyone's bodies are kept in tip-top shape unless you opt out of that service.

In my case, my body never really needs food either. And it's not a case of me telling the system to give me a normal digestion cycle where I need to eat food. No, that's not it.

Only the feeling of hunger is simulated, which pops up sometimes. Not only does it remind me to eat, a fun activity, one which I rarely forget anyway because I'm usually snacking on something. Health is no concern, so why wouldn't I?

The hunger acts as a very potent spice to enhance my meals.

Wow, that sounded really fucked up. Like I'm some sort of detached exploitative feudal lord. I can just feel the pitchforks and torches coming. The poor are coming to eat me, and with how much I've fattened myself up, I don't blame them!

But it's different! I swear! I was always on their side before The System came to be. And that's the thing, I'm also on their sides now! I won't be eaten by the poor, because there are no poor!

No, they weren't genocided. Fucked up.

Like me, everyone is being... well, babied by The System. In a good way of course, but some don't agree. Ungrateful bastards!

Not that I mind, they literally can't do anything to me. Well, neither can I to them, but not like I was planning to.

Regardless, everyone's living this good life. It's amazing! And even in this fluffy and cozy atmosphere that has permeated my every day... I feel like some new changes are occurring.

Yeah, very cliche and cringe, but I do really like Gothra. Not in that way! Though I wouldn't mind I guess... but it's really not something I have in mind.

Maybe having her around all the time would really make every moment fun, but I don't know. This peaceful quiet bliss might also be gone, replaced by a constant unending rush. That sounds tiring...

Though there are different ways and arrangements to do the couple thing... But that's not the point! Why am I even contemplating what a relationship with her would be like!?

She's just a really fun friend, and even just hanging out with other people is something I haven't done in a long time.

If you give me a chance, I just tend to isolate myself. And with The System guaranteeing a good life long into the future... I just didn't feel like the effort to maintain my bonds and ties were worth it. Or well, I was just too lazy to do so in this situation because I can always just do it later...

AH! But not to discredit The System or anything of course! It's great! And Ciraphim too... she's amazing. I love her.

So that's not what I'm saying at all. It's really on me, and it's not like I even suffered. My life is definitely superior and better than what I had before.

All I'm saying is that I wanna do better this time. I want to maintain my relationship with Gothra, and even make new connections, new friends. I'll make an honest and earnest effort no matter how... lazy I can be.

I do not want to slowly and gradually lose it all anymore. Not again.

I will do it, I really will. Like a vow, but not something generic, nor one that's just recited for the sake of it. A true vow, made not to some nebulus concept, with a goal too vague and wide to achieve.

All of this I swear... to Neko Ears!

I swear to Neko Ears.

________________________________________

Gothra POV

Mmmm... more... Right there...

Ahhhh...!

My eyes jolt open as I rolled around some fluffy furs.

Oh, it was a dream. But not for long!

Well, maybe a little bit longer. Five more minutes...

...

After a couple dozen five minutes, I finally sat back up. I found myself in the middle of a verdant forest, filled with lush greenery, and wild animals roaming out and around.

Near me, there were a bunch of tigers, lions, wolves, and other such beautiful creations of nature soundly asleep.

It's a paradise. The landscape, the flora, the fauna, all coexisting in harmony... It makes even my blood-drenched heart be at peace, embraced and enveloped in all the warmth of nature.

Ah, bliss...

Bereo was also here, laid down right beside me this whole time as we slept over the fluffy animals.

He was still wearing his fursuit, and had such a cute and handsome sleeping face. So tranquil, and so serene... I wanna just devour him right now. But... later. There's no rush.

Finding the liger sleeping soundly at my side, with its large body that's a mixture of a lion and a tiger, I couldn't help bury my face in it. I hugged its huge body as I petted and rubbed its fur all over.

Pet, pet.

I could just stay like this forever, it wouldn't be so bad...

This is the first floor of my tower, The Martyr Tower. It is the jungle biome, and it actually extends some floors above as well, connected by natural-esque hills that form bridges and stairs specially made to be accessible by the animals. There is even artificial lighting for each floor to ensure that all my babies live peacefully and happily.

I came here after the call with Bobby. It was a whole shitload of stupidy, but it was very fun. Thanks to that though... I felt tired. Well, there was also our time in the game, but man, I've never felt so tired since... before I left home.

So I went down from my room to this level in order to rest. I played and cuddled with the animals, until I ended up sleeping with them...

Ah! Not in that way! I'm a furry but that doesn't mean I fuck actual animals! They're just really cute and fluffy! We cuddle, we play, we sleep! It's all wholesome! Don't make it weird! Argh!

...

...Who am I even trying to prove myself to?

It's just... if Bobby were here, that'd definitely be the first thing out of his filthy fucking mouth! That assface! Grr...!

I was gonna do something else when he called, but eh, not like I care about being blue-balled or anything!

That's why I just immediately slept earlier. But that all changes now!

Or maybe later... maybe get breakfast first. I want to eat, though I've no need to.

I heard that such a thing as simply being able to eat as you please was not even granted way back in the day. And that was when people needed to eat.

Such hard and cruel times. It's honestly unthinkable... Now, we just eat for vanity, but the people back then could've literally died! They did die! Why didn't anyone give them food? Did they want them to die?

Oh well, it doesn't matter anymore...

I'm just curious as to what life was like back then. Bobby lived through it, and it's honestly quite interesting. But just thinking about having to go through all that, without The System to help me... it's terrifying.

How... What if you get in trouble? Or like, something really bad happens? What if you're about to die?

If you ask for help, will anyone even hear you?

Those people who starved to death certainly weren't heard... Did Bobby not hear their cries? Or did he just not care...?

No, he seemed like a decent person. He probably couldn't. I'm not that naive. The System is supremely powerful. In comparison, we humans are like ants. Powerless. Weak. Even the strength we have now is simply borrowed, a gift from The System...

Not that I'm complaining! It's great! But so many generations of humanity had already died. There was not even any demon horde, nor alien fleet. No evil god nor invading archdemon. Nothing fantastical, no overwhelming threat. We just... we perished by ourselves. Sometimes, by our own hands...

Or well, their hands. The people of that time. I never lived through it. I've only seen stories about it. Many, many stories. Of a world filled with many dangers lurking at every corner, so nerve-wracking, so exciting! At least on screen. Of course, that's not what actually living in their shoes would be like. In fact, it wouldn't even be exciting at all. It'd likely be an incredibly mundane life, where every single day, just a little bit more is taken away from you, you lose just a few more pieces of yourself.

Even then, you think it's fine, it's just a piece, a small little pinch. But eventually, you'll find yourself down to your last drop, and because giving it away to faceless unemotional entities is all you've ever done and known, you end up even giving that away.

Until there is nothing left.