Best For You

"I don't get it. I just don't get it. Why are you acting that way and why is it that it annoys me so much? Why does it make me feel that I have done something wrong when I know I didn't?"

Lilith's body started to tremble uncontrollably as she tried her best to keep her upcoming tears at bay. With her voice softer, but strong at the same time as she outspokenly told her how she felt, Amon just stood there, listening to her outburst.

"I don't know why... I don't know why it hurts to be treated like that when all I want to do is just talk to you! You—!!"

Before Lilith could even continue her sentence, she was surprised to what had happened before her. Without warning even though she is familiar of immortal beings' powers, Amon magically appeared right in front of her.

It was as if everything at this moment was in slow motion. Amon hesitantly reached out to Lilith, but still, he did. He pulled her towards her by touching the back of her neck, and then soon patting her on the head like how he did it to her 19 years ago.

"You don't understand—" Amon started, his voice now gentle so he could soothe Lilith. "—I have to protect you. I have to."

'What?'

"A-Amon—"

And before Lilith could even process what was happening between them, the Grim Reaper disappeared into thin air, leaving her alone in the middle of the maze as the water of the fountain was the only sound that she could hear.

***

"Gah!"

The event between her and Amon replayed in her head like a scene from a movie that was stuck on a loop just to relive the moment. Lilith marched down the hallway, no destination in mind. Her water fountain was no longer her safe space, not after what just happened.

Her feet led her to a small library in the west wing of the palace. She threw the door open and crashed on the nearest armchair. She hung her head right between her knees with her hands clawing at her scalp. She pursed her lips in frustration and shut her eyes. The more she tried to push the memory away, the louder it became.

Why was everyone hiding something from her? Then, the one who was supposed to tell her only gave cryptic messages which she somehow had to understand. Not only that but he himself was just as confusing. How could he call her overbearing and the next second, treat her kindly? It just didn't make any sense.

And another thing, how—why was he protecting her? What was he protecting her from?

How was any of this for her own good when it was driving her insane?!

After what seemed like hours, Lilith took a deep breath and put her hands down. She leaned back until her shoulders hit the top of the chair with a thud. The silence in the room crept into her ears, crawling up to her chaotic thoughts. The twilight sky filled her view of the window.

She placed her hand on top of her head.

If she concentrated enough, she could almost feel Amon's hand on it.

"Lilith?" Sicily's faint shout sounded from a distance. "Lilith!"

At the sound of her name, Lilith straightened her back and let her hand fall from her head. Footsteps grew louder and Sicily opened the door of the library. Her eyes widened at Lilith's disheveled state, especially her blue hair that stuck all over the place.

Lilith gave a faint smile.

"Oh, dear girl…" Sicily walked right inside and closed the door gently. She stood behind the chair and caressed Lilith's head. "What's wrong? You know you can tell me anything."

At that, Lilith couldn't help but chuckle. "But you can't do the same."

"Lilith…!"

"You know I don't mean it that way…" Lilith whispered. She tucked her legs in and rested her chin on top of her knees. Her shoulders sagged from exhaustion. Without waiting for Sicily to react, she recounted her exchange with Amon. The words flowed out of her mouth. Her voice became smaller the longer she spoke.

"I just…" she started to say, "I don't think anyone understands how lost and helpless I feel. I was dragged to the throne room because I had to greet him, because I am connected to him but then… he avoids me like the plague. Like I'm a nuisance or a bother or a pest or a stubborn pimple that won't go away—"

"Lilith, that's enough," Sicily interrupted. She inhaled deeply, finding a brush on a nearby side table. Her fingers gently undid the hair ties on Lilith's hair. She debated how much she could tell Lilith. The poor girl was spiraling down a black hole of self-blame. Being in the dark had filled her head with lies and irrationality.

Sighing, Lilith focused on the bristles of the brush that occasionally scrapped her skin. She normally felt impatient when Sicily did her hair. Except, they still had dinner to go to. She wouldn't feel comfortable if anyone else saw her looking like a mess.

"Amon is not a bad person, Lilith."

"I never said—"

"And neither are you," Sicily added quickly. After the tangles were gone, she arranged Lilith's hair into a simple bun. "You're not a nuisance, not to me or to Amon. If that were true…" she paused. Her hands had also done the same. She chose her next words carefully and secured the bun in place.

"If that were true… Amon wouldn't have brought you here in the first place."

Lilith stiffened.

Then, she whirled her head around to look at Sicily. "What?"

Sicily sighed and patted her cheek. "It's true. If you were truly a burden, Amon would have never saved you. He would have left you to fend for yourself."

Lilith opened her mouth but said nothing. She couldn't imagine her life different from the way it was now. She couldn't imagine living without Sicily as her mother who always forgave her numerous antics. Neither could she picture never meeting King Blanc and his family—never knowing of this world undetected by her own kind.

The Kingdom of Gehenna was her home.

And the reason why she had all of this was… all thanks to Amon.

As Lilith absorbed this new information, Sicily squeezed her hand and made her look up. "I'm sorry I can't tell you more than this but know that Amon is doing what he thinks is best for you."