Insult or Spank?  

Eh? System, what's with this plus sign?

Is it only applied to me?

That made me feel better.

". . ."

So the only advantage of having a system was the additional attribute points, huh?

I don't feel like I want to know.

I focused my attention on the things on my screen.

There was a 1,000 EXP, 100 gil, and a Nordland map from the gift box icon. I pressed it, and those EXP poured into my EXP icon while the gold coins filled my money icon. There were also the Evil Points in the center of the EXP and money icon.

How do I allocate this EXP to my attribute?

I tried what the system said and made mental calculations as my EXP decreased while my attributes increased.

Based on my calculations, HP and MP could have an additional +5 for 100 EXP while the rest would increase +1 in exchange for 100 EXP.

Sounds like it would take a lot of EXP to level up attributes.

Really? I'll check it out later then.

First, I allocated all my EXP points to LCK since that seemed to be the lowest out of my attributes.

I'd like to keep everything balanced.

I nodded my head. *Umu

I had a basic understanding of these attributes since some of my co-workers let me play these RPG games from their consoles and phones. But it wouldn't hurt to ask for an explanation in case I was wrong.

". . ." I soaked all the information in. In short. I just had to level my attributes. The higher, the better.

< . . . Yes -_- >

After that was done, I pressed the other button.

‖ S K I L L S & S P E L L S ‖

Evil Wisdom LV.1

- 10% chance of copying any spells or skills

- Can be performed 2x a day

- –100 MP

Evil Minions LV.1

- 10% chance of converting beasts/monsters to be your pet

- Can be performed 3x a day

- –50 MP

‖ E N D ‖

Why was everything evil? And what with the ridiculous low percentage and high casting cost?

With my amount of mana, I could probably just cast it one to two times a day!

". . ."

It was not only the ominous names, but the skills and spells were literally evil themselves. How many times would I perform it to reach LV.2? And how many days? Or months?

I shook my head and opted for another button.

‖ L I F E S K I L L S ‖

Cooking: Beginner

Fishing: Beginner

Foraging: Beginner

‖ E N D ‖

What's this?

I see . . . wait.

Do I need this thing?

. . . No, thank you.

I pressed the last button that I saved for later. I was actually hesitating whether to push it or not but decided to press it anyway.

‖ E V I L S Y S T E M

S I D E Q U E S T ‖

❶ Insult Someone

Rewards:

+100 EXP

❷ Spank a girl's butt

Rewards:

+1000 EXP

‖ E N D ‖

". . ."

System . . .

Tell me how I can remove you.

Then at least give me a different side quest!

This is ridiculous! Why would I insult someone or spank a girl's butt?! That would get me in trouble!

Like I said, I don't want to! I wanted to jump from my skin. If I could scream at it, I would, but it would only attract unwanted attention.

This was certainly not funny. Whoever gave me this system, I hope he dies!

<+100 Evil Points rewarded to Host for cursing someone for the first time>

. . . I gritted my teeth.

I was usually a calm guy, and not every day or week would you find me angry. But right now, my blood vessels were about to burst at how annoyed I was.

. . . Wait . . .

"That guy's face looked like it was molded by a child," I whispered under my breath, making sure that I was the only one who heard it.

<+100 EXP points rewarded to Host for completing the side quest, INSULT SOMEONE>

Yes! It worked! I could actually cheat the system!

<+1,000 Evil points rewarded to Host for cheating the system for the first time>

". . ."

I wanted to cry.