Mixed Feelings

After a night in a more reputable inn, Rose and her company were up bright and early in order to make it to the palace by nightfall. The trip had been quiet, and with so many soldiers making sure she was safe, the princess slept soundly in the unfamiliar bed.

That was why when she joined her company and saw how weary they all looked that she immediately felt a little guilty.

"Did you not take turns keeping watch?" She asked Gilbert after watching him hide a yawn.

"We did, My Lady," he answered politely and a little too formally for the sincerity of her question. When her gaze lingered on him, the soldier sighed. "We doubled the guard, so none of us had as much sleep as we are accustomed to."

Rose pressed her lips together, fighting back the words of apology that wanted to escape her lips. It would only make Gilbert feel awkward for doing his duty well.

"I shall make sure you all get a good palace meal and a warm bed tonight to thank you for your dedication." Rose smiled warmly. It was the least she could do. There was no doubt in her mind that her father would grant her this small favor.

"Thank you, My Lady," Gilbert bowed. "That really is not necessary."

"It will ease my conscience. I know Colonel Jay would understand." Rose would write a note herself if needed.

"Thank you," the soldier said again with a polite dip of his head. The Princess felt that she had made some misstep until Rose realized that Gilbert's mind had already moved on. He cleared his throat gently. "I do think it is time to be off, my lady. If we leave now we should not need to rush to make it before evening meal."

"Very good," Rose curtsied slightly as a lady of her station would to give her agreement. Gilbert raised his pointer finger and spun it in a circle. The soldiers all hurried to their horses and stood beside them at attention.

"We are ready when you are, Lady Alexis." Gilbert stood and waited by fireball to help her into the saddle.

Offering his hand loosely, he clearly was leaving it up to Rose to decide if she needed help mounting the large steed.

Normally, Rose would have been wearing a riding gown, which somewhat resembled trousers, or a parade gown, which had long flowing skirts to accommodate horseback riding, but the purple frock she currently wore was neither of those. Additionally, the horse was much taller than her own sweet mare, Belle.

So although she normally would not need to be handed up onto a horse, Rose gladly accepted the assistance now. She adjusted the dress as best she could, and then draped her cape around her and along Fireball's sides.

"Thank you, Gilbert," she dismissed the soldier so he could mount his own steed.

"My pleasure, Lady Alexis. I am sure His Majesty will be relieved to see you are safe and sound."

'More than you realize.' Rose smiled. She was so lost in her thoughts of reuniting with her father that she almost missed what the faithful soldier said next.

"….so Damian should be notifying His Majesty of our coming arrival very soon." Gilbert paused seeing the look of concern cross the woman's face.

"Damian?" Rose remembered the name from the men that were with him, but as she scanned the group now, he was not among their company.

"Yes. He is our designated runner; his horse is the fastest among us. Per regulation we needed to notify the palace of our approach." Gilbert was unsure how much the lady knew of military protocol, but soldiers marching toward the palace always needed to send notification unless they were expressly invited. This was to prevent accidental friendly fire and also to give the palace enough time to accommodate the guests.

The princess's face pinched before becoming neutral once more. Depending on who knew what, the message that claimed a young lady was coming to the palace could draw some unwanted attention. It would be even worse if the king asked too many questions because he did not know a Lady Alexis. Rose swallowed.

"What exactly was Damian instructed to say?" Rose asked carefully.

She could feel the soldiers around her were now paying closer attention. Their delay in leaving when the lady was already mounted could only mean that the conversation was important.

Gilbert gave her a reassuring smile. "Damian was to speak to no one about his business except to say he had a message for the king. I gave him our orders from Colonel Jay in case anyone should oppose him. The note itself only told the king that a lady of renown was making her way toward him with a message and that we would arrive this evening. I was unsure how many details to give, so I remained vague, My Lady."

Rose relaxed. She realized that she should have trusted the soldier to use discretion. Even if he didn't know exactly who she was, he had a good idea that their approach was best not broadcast. Especially after the princess had already been attacked once on this journey.

"Very good. I am glad they will be expecting us at least. Surprises are best left for parties," Rose resumed her innocent but pleasant damsel routine. The soldiers in earshot laughed politely.

"Right you are, My Lady." Gilbert mounted his horse followed by the rest of his men. After creating an impenetrable shield of horse and human around the princess, the group went on their way.

The only thing about the high security of her transport detail was that it did not move as quickly as it could. Keeping a line of protection solid meant sacrificing some of its speed. If Rose had been riding as fast as Fireball could carry her.

Rose would have been close to being within the palace before mid afternoon, possibly sooner with the powerful stallion only carrying a wisp of a girl. But they were still making good time even with the more measured pace.

Part of her longed to be inside the safety of the walls, and the other part dreaded seeing Borit again after all she had discovered. Rose needed to play dumb until they received word from Rynnlee on their next move. It was for her own safety, so she needed to choose her movements carefully.

The tug of war between the safety of home and the danger lurking there continued on throughout the morning and into midday. Sensing the turmoil, more than one soldier tried their hand at polite conversation.

Rose was grateful for the distraction, but it never lasted long. Her mind always drifted back to the impending reunions. The princess furrowed her brow.

'No use worrying about it. Nothing was ever fixed by stressing about what might happen.' Somehow, this comforted her into slowly changing her view.

By the time they took a break mid-afternoon, Rose had finally come to terms with the fact that the anticipation and fear of her return were both valid feelings. Although she wished the fear would leave like the birds flying silently over the clearing, she would not let it control her.

The peace that came with her decision was as refreshing as the summer rain. That was why when a horse came barreling down the road from the direction they just came, she was able to view it with interest and not concern.

That is, until she saw that it was a soldier from the fort. Something must have happened.