Episodes 72. Realize

"Rasyid?! Why are you daydreaming again, come on, let's eat... It'll get cold if you don't eat it soon~." A woman's voice woke me up from my silence.

The world around me felt white, like a dream, right?

I saw two girls sitting in front of me.

"If Rasyid doesn't want it, I'll have it!" Quickly, the other woman grabbed the food that was supposed to be given to me.

"Hey Salwa, It's for Rasyid! Why you eating it?!"

"Sorry, sorry... I couldn't resist," the (thief)girl said, scratching her head.

"Well, here, I have something else for you, dear!" The (kind)girl handed me a different food. A sweet face and smile accompanied the food.

"Rasyid?! Why are you acting so strange today?"

"..." I didn't understand what Salwa meant by 'strange'.

"See?! Are you in trouble?!"

"Come on, Salwa! Rasyid might be a bit confused right now~."

"Hmm (nodding)... You're right. He's usually like DUWA BWA AOWKAOWKOK, but now he's like an octopus who always throws starfish and sponges out of the house."

"Calm down, I understand Rasyid well... He might be-"

The woman's voice suddenly stopped and she blushed.

"Nevermind." She cut herself off.

"You 12054, always like that, such a goofball!"

"What? Wanna start a fight?! Heh!" The girl put her hands on her hips.

I, sitting in front of them, felt disturbed.

"Can you two stop blaming each other for small issues?"

"Small issue?!"

"Small issue?!"

They said it together.

Their shouts immediately made me feel powerless and defeated.

'Powerless?'

I realized something, this was strange.

When I looked at the back of my hand, there was no trace of injury or roughness there.

'This is wrong!'

'This isn't where I belong!'

'I shouldn't be here!'

Suddenly, both Salwa and the other woman who were fighting in front of me turned white and...

PYARRR!

Like shattered glass, they all shattered into pieces.

"Well... Well... Looks who founded with soulless here?" A 'woman' voice was heard. 

'She' replaced those two positions and sat in front of me. Right now, the only distance between us is a table. 

'She' has a black aura. It's like a shadow around her was emitted by 'her'.

Wait?! I remember that shadow. In the building made of ground. The battle before. The shadow was talking to me before gone.

"It seems you already realize who am i. As expected!"

"Hey! You like my present?"

"You must like it!"

"Although, it is just a small present. The big one is not ready yet!"

"I asked those fools to erase 'they who have slight relation with you'. I know by that, you not gonna break fully."

"Do not worry about Sophia. I am already aware about her. I save for the last since I know you gonna came soon."

That 'woman' says it all. 'She' said it with a seducing voice. Teasing and mocking can be heard from every one of her words.

As the time 'she' was done talking, 'she' suddenly looked at 'her' wrist. 'She' looking at 'her' watch. "Ah~, it seems I have run out of time."

'She' looking at me with a satisfied smile. "Then, goodbye... Wake up..." 'She' closing 'her' mouth to my ear and says. "...Loser Butcher~" 

Right after it, 'she' suddenly vanishes like an amateur video editor.

Just seeing that reminded me of who I really am.

"I couldn't save them both..." My words sounded constant and carried by the strong wind blowing my hair and school uniform.

"I came here not because I wanted to see them, but to escape from reality!"

"But someone once told me, I'm not alone! If I fail, at least I'm not alone in experiencing that sadness! Someone will come..."

After that moment, my eyes sharpened towards this shrinking world. I am not gonna lose to that 'woman'. I gonna destroy 'her' as soon I meet 'her'. Mark my words.

"Goodbye! To my cowardly self, one day... I'll come back, and talk to them properly, not to escape from reality!"

.......

My eyes opened, and a bright light shone in my eyes.

As I felt with my senses, I was lying on a bed with a distinct smell.

This, is the smell of a hospital.

'Once again, I see this ceiling.'

"Yo! Asshole. You finally woke up!" A stranger's voice called me beside the bed.

If I'm not mistaken, it's...

"Ryan?"

"Hmm... I thought you gonna die and celebrate it, turns out not! You're as strong as ever, Rasyid Londerik!"

Was that a congratulatory smile? Or mocking?

Oh, now it's clear.

The word 'asshole' is what this person called me back then.

"Loser, why did you say something so cruel to me?" I joked.

He chuckled softly as if choking.

"Heh, consider it a reward for your return to the world."

"The world?" I tried to get up from my bed.

"Yes, you're slowly starting to remember the world as it used to be!"

"I don't understand what you mean..."

I stared at the blanket covering my body.

"That's not important, what's important now is... Welcome back, Rasyid!"

I felt heavy.

I'm not ready to accept that hand yet.

Without me realizing it, tears flowed down my cheeks.

Soon after seeing that, Ryan, who had been sitting beside me, rose from his seat.

"I heard... about the madness you did in the forest." His eyes gazed out the window.

His fingers seemed to be playing with something like a pencil. He spins that thing again and again.

"Your two students, Camal and Julia..." (Ryan)

"And that woman... subordinate of Governor Dawa Timur, Mr. Halim." (Ryan)

I was surprised to hear Mr. Halim's name.

"Hah? She's Mr. Halim's subordinate?"

I felt my pulse tightening and heating up.

"Hold that anger!"

"Why?!"

I searched for a reason from the man in front of me. There must be a reason why he suddenly stops me.

"Because I'm here!"

Suddenly, Mr. Halim's voice sounded at the door of the room.

The smirk on his face made me feel the evil within him.

"Forgive me, but that's her wish," he said as he walked towards my bed.

At this moment, we stared at each other, like rivals ready to kill each other. I was waiting for the right moment to attack anytime.

"Salwa did this of her own accord!"

"You're lying!" I shouted at him.

"I know you won't believe me, but if I give you this one proof, you'll surely believe!" He showed me a recorder box in his hand.

"Listen!" (Halim)

CLICK!

The sound of the recorder began.

"I hate you, Rasyid!"

"Because of you, Rosa became like that!"

"Because of you, Rosa fell into the abyss of darkness!"

"She could have been saved if you had not been so dense!"

"But what did you do?! You ran away, that person kept giving Rosa aphrodisiacs every day!"

"I wanted to help her, but I didn't have the strength!"

"The person behind it all has the kind of 'power', and if I attack him, I might end up like her!"

"But... But why?! Why did you stay silent?!"

"The person behind it is someone close to you! Why didn't you realize it?!"

"If only you had quickly exposed his true identity, then Rosa (Salwa started crying)... Then Rosa should have been able to survive!"

The recorder stopped, but Mr. Halim applied pressure to it again.

CLICK!

"It's been several years since the 'Summer of Fire' incident, I should have been able to meet him!"

"That person suddenly disappeared without a trace..."

"I wanted to inform him quickly..."

"That... It's better if you quickly forget about 'that' incident."

"When I heard from his brother, I heard that person is suffering greatly now..."

"Suffering from the consequences of his naivety at that time..."

"The suffering that started all this!"

"I hope, that person doesn't get dragged into a very dark abyss where no one can save him..."

"If only... If only, I was given the chance to meet him... I want to quickly defend him, hug him, and whisper to him... 'That everything is okay... Then come out of that abyss!'"

The recorder stopped.

No other recorders were given to Mr. Halim.

"She worked under my orders for several years just to find you! And when I said 'I know where he is.' That kid immediately forced me to tell her."

"Even though I've said, that right now is a dangerous time to meet him, but she insisted on it..."

"So I agreed to her request."

"I just want to make sure, did her letter get delivered?"

Mr. Halim's words made me realize the meaning of every word that woman said when she met me.

----"You're still paranoid as usual, huh?" (Salwa)----

Her words at that time actually told me that I returned to this world without needing her help.

"You don't have to pretend to cry, I know you still can't cry properly right now." Mr. Halim turned away after saying that.

But before leaving, he looked at me for the last time in this room.

"It's better for now if you say goodbye to those who worry about you!"

With that, the sound of his footsteps could be heard moving away until they disappeared from this room.

Ryan, who had been pretending not to hear in the room, finally moved.

"You know, when you disappeared earlier, all the teachers from the 1st-year physics group united to look for you!"

"But unfortunately, it seems like it's not needed anymore. You were found just before entering that forest."

"And about the plane that crashed in the forest, I'll keep it a secret!"

Ryan looked towards the door where Mr. Halim had left earlier.

He seemed to know or had been told about that power.

"Tomorrow, don't forget... You have students and friends you need to say goodbye to, right?"

His voice, it gave me a sense of dread.

But as the culprit, I have to take responsibility for all of this.

"Hmm (nodding)... I'll meet them all!"