Episodes 89. Goodbye Properly

The car I was in stopped right in front of the destination I ask. As soon as I set foot here, the atmosphere enveloped us changed into cold air. Perhaps it's because it's 5 AM in the morning that it feels so chilly?

Regardless, I'll still go in.

"Rasyid..."

"What?"

"Is this the place you meant?"

"Yes, if I have to say. My reason is the same as yours."

"The same reason as mine, but this is a cemetery?!"

"I want to meet my friend..." My voice felt heavy as I tried to continue, but with all my strength. I forced myself to say it. "And try to say good bye properly."

Erika's gaze turned from curious to concerned upon hearing my words.

Did I say something wrong?

No, that couldn't be. My words earlier were simply straightforward.

"Rasyid, I'm not sure about this. But are you really prepared for this?"

I swallowed my spit and faced the sign above the cemetery gate.

"Yes, I'm ready!"

"Well then, let's go in..."

With that, accompanied by Erika, I would face my friend who had helped me rise again from my darkest time.

"Do you know where it is?" She tried to ask where the tomb is to lighten the mood as we walked.

"Of course, if I didn't, it would be troublesome."

"Hehehe, thank goodness."

...

Now, lying in front of both of us is the body of someone who has been buried. The tombstone write the name 'Jauhari.'

"Jauhari... Is he the friend you used to talk about?" She had often heard Jauhari's name from my stories back then.

"Yes..."

Although she haven't met him yet. But Erika looked at the grave with a sad expression.

"He must have been a very kind person to care so much about his friends." (Erika)

"Even if you hit him, he would still be on your side and forgive you over and over again." (Erika)

"When you were at your lowest because of your own actions, he still reached out to help you." (Erika)

"Even if you lied to him after fulfilling your duty, he would still smile at you." (Erika)

Erika recounted some flashbacks I had told her about.

But for some reason, it felt mocking me. But Erika's smiling face with tears held back in her eyes indicated that she wasn't mocking me.

I knelt down and opened some prayer books to pray for him.

About 15 minutes later, we closed the books and stood up again. Not forgetting to scatter some flowers I had picked up from the roadside on his grave.

But before that, there was something I wanted to convey to him. This would also be my farewell to him.

"Thank you, Jauhari... Without you, I might have just been a puppet killer."

"And as your foolish friend, I want to say: 'Please forgive me!' My foolishness back then cannot be forgiven, but you easily treated it as if it never happened!" 

Tears fall from my eyes.

"If only I had listened to you, maybe the outcome would be slightly different!" Tears welled up in my eyes as I shouted this.

"But... it's too late now, nothing can be changed!"

"So..." I regulated my breathing to dispel the unease within me. "Once again, I want to say it properly..."

The sun rose from the east and shone directly behind me. My shadow appeared large, extending over five other graves.

In front of that sun, I curved my lips. I forced my sleepy eyes open, held back the tears pooling in my eyes, and forced my hoarse throat to vibrate.

With trembling body, I said, "Thank you, and farewell."

Simultaneously, the sun that had just risen was now above me, making my shadow shrink again.

...

Grak Grak Grak!

The road in this cemetery looks dirty, many leaves scattered around, understandably, the janitor only comes once a month at the beginning of the month, and now it's the end of the month.

"Are we done?" Erika, walking beside me, looked at me with concern.

How could she not, my face right now is terrible. Especially after I cried like a fool earlier.

But,

"Not yet, there are two more." This isn't over yet.

"In that case, let's go!"

"Hmm (nodding)..."

...

Our second stop was the grave of the person who was once my first happiness.

On the tombstone, the name Rosa and her birth and death dates were written.

"She..." Erika's eyes widened in disbelief. "Rosa, she's your ex-(I cut her off)"

"Please, don't say any more!" Just remembering it makes me hurt.

Who can endure mentally, remembering the memory of being cheated on so brutally.

"I'm sorry..."

"Forget it."

"But why do you want to visit her?"

"She became like that because of my mistakes too. Back then, I didn't notice the trembling in her hands!" And especially, the message left by Salwa to me was also my motivation.

All these events have been uncovered, the main culprit of the Summer of Fire.

But that's just the tip of the iceberg. There might be something bigger behind that incident.

Back to the topic, I began to kneel and read the prayer book for her.

Just like before, after about 15 minutes, I stood up again. This time, I left without doing anything.

"Forgive me..."

It's impossible for me to receive forgiveness from her. I've failed, utterly.

...

Back to the dirty and abandoned cemetery road.

There's one grave left, but it's already too early. She will come here and visit.

"Our business is done."

"Huh?! Didn't you say there were two more earlier?! So there is one more, right?!"

"It doesn't matter, besides, he was happy to see me earlier," I don't know what I was thinking.

But for now, I better not show my face when that woman arrived. It could be dangerous.

"Well, if that's the case. Let's go!" Erika was a bit disappointed, but she couldn't do much.

...

As we passed through the gate, the atmosphere felt different from before.

Now it felt scorching hot, our skin felt burned by the sun.

"Wow, it's so bright now, even though when we came here the sky was still orange."

Erika's voice sounded faint in my ears. Why did that happen?

I felt a pulsating "Nging!" ringing in my ears.

Where did it come from?

As I looked around, there was no one in sight except Erika still staring at the blue sky.

The sound grew louder each time I faced a specific direction.

'Nging!' Just as I turned to the direction of the loudest sound.

My eyes caught the sight of a man and a woman staring at me from the gate we passed earlier.

Ghosts?

I couldn't see their faces too well from afar. But I was sure their bodies were illuminated by light. Their faces seemed... to be smiling.

Was that smile directed at me?

"Rasyid?! What's wrong?" But my attention was diverted by Erika looking at me confusedly.

"Uh, it's nothing!"

There's no way I could say, 'I saw a ghost!' She wouldn't believe it, and if I told her and she believed it, then got scared, I'd be in trouble too.

"You're acting weird, I hope you're not daydreaming because we're in a cemetery."

"Hehehe, don't worry!"

Erika walked straight to her car.

I tried to follow her, but before that. I turned my gaze back to the gate.

Now there's no one there. They have gone.

"Rasyid?! What now?"

"It's nothing!" I ran to her without dwelling further on what just happened.

...

The car sped leaving at full speed.

But where to?

She wasn't driving home, right?

"Where are we going?" I asked, feeling drowsy.

"To school."

"You haven't showered..."

"I'll go home first, then to school. How could I go there without showering?!"

"Your words are ambiguous."

"Heh... By the way, aren't you interested in seeing them?"

Her face turned serious.

"Today is the last day of exams, and as you know. The final exam is like a siege battle."

Yes, I remember, but...

"I'd better pass. Besides, I'm not their teacher anymore."

It's my responsibility now, I shouldn't step foot in that school until those two parents forgive me.

"You know, with a teacher around, the students will be a bit more motivated!" She began lecturing. "Because a teacher is their leader, a teacher is their moral compass! Without leaders in a battle, the soldiers will lose their will to fight."

"Yes, I understand. But still... It's my duty." There's not much I can do now.

TING TING TING! Suddenly my phone rang.

"A call?"

"No, just a message."

"But your face looks disgusting!"

Seeing the content of the message displayed on my phone made my lips curve into a very happy smile.

"Erika..." I called her without wiping off that expression.

"What now? If it's something disgusting, I won't hesitate to kick you out of the car!"

She thinks I'm crazy.

"I've decided to go see them..."

"Hah?!"

That sentence surprised her. She almost lost control of the steering wheel, but she quickly regained it.

[Message content]

Bahar: The two parents have talked about it, they will forgive you, but with one condition. The condition is:

You must not look back and keep moving forward.

'You are a good example of a teacher' That's what the parents said.

I heard from them, their children often talk about your kindness and greatness.

So they know, that you have fought as hard as possible to prevent that incident from happening.

[End of message]

...

On the other side, at the cemetery they just visited.

A woman carrying her child, walking with a bag full of flowers, wandered around the cemetery area.

She sprinkled the flowers in three places, Rosa's grave, Salwa's grave, and her husband's grave.

Her eyes widened slightly when she saw her late husband's tombstone.

There were many flower arrangements next to it.

"Did someone visit, you my dear?" (Haniyah)

Of course, she didn't know, because the person who scattered the flower had left since early morning.