Episodes 92. Past Anxiety

CRACK!

The sound of the classroom door being opened.

As I opened it, I saw the faces of my students whom I had left for a day. There was a slight shock as they saw my face. I didn't mention it, but I'll consider it just a surprise.

They stared at me in disbelief. But since time had been drained by Fredrica's antics earlier, I couldn't say 'hi' to all of them.

"Everyone, our class will be the one competing in the first round," I spoke in a flat tone. "Get ready and follow me!"

I did this to avoid showing my excitement at seeing their faces again. It would damage my dignity if they saw how much I wanted to see my students.

"YES!" They replied automatically and swiftly.

They didn't get to say anything. There were some questions they wanted to ask me, but because I hurried them, they couldn't.

With that, I led my students to where exams take place.

Not a single word came out of their mouths. But their facial expressions couldn't lie. There was anxiety written all over them.

What could it be?

Is it because they saw me again? Don't get ahead of yourself, Rasyid. This might be something else.

Is it because they felt pressured under Fredrica's supervision? It's possible, but not entirely.

Moreover, why would Fredrica bother to raise the grades of a class she doesn't teach? It would only inconvenience her and the class she does teach.

Then...

My thoughts went into one possibility. Did Fredrica make my students feel down to reduce the number of her opponents?

That's impossible if there's a reason. It must be because she hates me, right?

"Um, Sir?" Moka, walking beside me, suddenly brought me back to awareness.

"Huh? What is it, Moka?"

"You've been daydreaming all this time, what's wrong?"

Maybe this is the right time to ask about this.

"Moka, did you feel pressured under Mrs. Fredrica's supervision?"

The moment of truth would be revealed, whether it's because she hates me or wants to reduce the number of opponents in the exam.

"Of course not..." I heard something contradictory.

I immediately looked at Moka with wide eyes.

"Really?"

But it wasn't Moka who answered, it was a prince who held a grudge against me.

"Mr. Rasyid, even though Mrs. Fredrica hates you a lot, doing something as low as that is unlikely." (Stevent)

"Mrs. Fredrica still has principles. Principles that wouldn't make her do something so stupid." (Stevent)

A principle? What is it? I never knew she had something like that. But if what Stevent says is true, then it's somewhat reassuring.

"But..." Hakam, standing next to Stevent, added. "Her principles are kind of strange."

Upon hearing that, both I and the others looked at Hakam with surprise.

What's strange about it?

"What you mean, Hakam?" Moka asked.

"She acts as if she's under pressure from something. Like someone's always watching her..." (Hakam)

"Watching her?" (Stevent)

Hakam nodded once and looked up at the clear sky. "Every time she finishes watching one of our classes compete in the flag-taking exam, Fredrica always looks up at the sky. Her frightened expression seems to say, 'I did it well!'"

What Hakam said was a bit contradictory to what I thought. Fredrica's reason for looking up at the sky might have a different meaning. Fredrica, who competed against me in the Pocky eating contest, also felt different.

If I draw a conclusion, what's happening now is...

Fredrica is just paranoid!

Thinking about it, it makes sense. She keeps looking up at the sky because that's what I'm doing now. If I can defeat Haran, who has sensing abilities, then it's no wonder she would think I have more power than that.

Fredrica is always engulfed in fear every time she teaches my class. She always thinks that my eyes are constantly watching her suspiciously.

When in the teacher's room, she was angry at me not because she still held a grudge against my brother. But she's angry because she always feels watched.

Oh my, why am I thinking excessively like this? Turns out the person being talked about is just as paranoid as I am.

"It's not worth discussing! Everyone has their own problems, and this one is definitely it!" I should stop them before they start thinking strange things.

......

At the school gate, we boarded the electric bus and headed to the Tyas Family Palace, which was only 10 km away, in just 15 minutes.

As expected from the electric bus. In terms of comfort, they're number one. Even though it is not a fast one.

When we got off the bus, our class met with Ryan's Class. He still looked gloomy, perhaps still thinking about the previous conversation.

****

Flashback

Right before I went to class, Ryan came to greet me.

But his gaze remained. It was clear that he was scared to see me.

It always made me wonder, why? We're cousins, but why is he afraid of me?

There must be something.

"Ryan, what's wrong?" I asked calmly.

"Why are you bothering Asshole, there is nothing strange..." He tried to evade by walking ahead of me.

He was trying to avoid me. It was obvious from his words.

I must remember something! There's definitely something that's making him like this. It couldn't happen without a reason.

He's a poor communicator. It's common because when he was a child, he was often abused by someone.

As I thought about it, I finally remembered.

This is embarrassing...

I didn't expect it, even when I was small, I did something as low as this.

"Ryan!" I called him again, but this time with a louder volume.

He turned back to me. His surprised expression couldn't be hidden anymore.

Smack!

I hit my chest hard.

"You've become like this because of me! You've become someone who struggles to speak (Introvert) because of me! So, while I can meet you! Please, forgive me!" It might seem trivial when seen. But if it's not resolved immediately, it will continue.

I threw away all my dignity just for this. He was my first victim. Since I was a child, I always abused him. I would continue to do so as a child because I was always abused by my oldest older brother. So I used Ryan as... an outlet for my anger.

Whatever it is, I'll do it. He's broken because of me. He's useless because of me. No matter how heavy the punishment, I'll serve it.

He was still silent with a guilty expression. But shortly after, that expression changed. He put on a serious face.

Slowly, he approached me, still with a serious expression.

"You know, when I was a kid, I was always filled with fear. Fear of doing something wrong! As a child, my thought pattern always said, if I'm wrong then a part of your body will be hurt! That thought pattern hinders me!" He shouted loudly at me until it spattered.

"I always suffered because I couldn't speak like a normal person! Fear always surrounded me!"

"It's all because of you(pointing at me)! But what did I get?! You always act like it never happened! More precisely, you always avoid me every time you see me in trouble!"

Shortly after, he took a step back, and...

THUD!

My chin was kicked so hard that I bounced backward.

I was knocked down on the floor.

But it wasn't over yet, Ryan ran towards me.

THUD! THUD! THUD!

My head was stomped on with great force. The contents of my head were squished out.

However, that was his answer. This is all because of my actions. Sooner or later, this punishment will come.

I endured the pain from each stomp. This pain is nothing compared to what I've done to him. It's also nothing compared to the number of victims I've destroyed.

"WHY DID YOU JUST REALIZE IT NOW, YOU STUPID FOOL?!" That word became the final words of his stomping.

My body, lying on the ground, still couldn't see anything around it. Maybe because both of my eyeballs were crushed or something.

But, I still had my ears. I could hear it. The sound of crying...

THUD!

Ryan fell to the ground in sync with that rhythm.

"Why are you giving up like this? Moreover, I don't really care about it anymore. I've moved far from that past. But as you said, that memory always haunts me no matter how far I step." Ryan cried.

Shortly after, my body returned to normal. My broken head returned to its original shape. The world felt colorful again. My cognitive ability also returned.

Right away, I looked at the crying child.

I felt thrown back to that time.

"We're cousins, aren't we?!" I grabbed his hair and stroked it.

But he quickly slapped my hand away. "You...?! Whatever!" He lost his words.

He pushed me away and left. Before leaving, he said: "Whatever you do. Forgiving you for that problem is impossible for me. I will consider that it happened, so because of that. I can always evaluate you...! And one more thing, your clothes are full of blood. You better clean up!"

End of Flashback

***

Now Ryan and I will face off in this palace. Who will win?

This is not a matter of individual strength, but a strength relying on the greatness of teamwork.

"Asshole , right here! I'll show you, that I've changed!" He pointed towards me.

I wrote a smile on my face to respond to that finger. "Let's just see, Loser!" The long-awaited battle between the two of us.

Here, will Ryan prove that he can forget about it or not?