Someone Returns

Narrator POV

The legendary Senior was defeated... decisively...

That girl whom he asked out was smiling and winking to the rich hunk behind him the whole time, and by the time Senior arrived, they were already thoroughly making out. He was only in time to see them run upstairs into a bedroom, presumably, actually they pushed past him.

When he asked what the hell happened the hunk raised an eyebrow and the girl makes an ugly face, mainly using her tongue that she just used to French Kiss that man. Thoroughly defeated and disturbed, Senior accepts the second place trophy, a bottle of that bat piss called local beer that tasted like defeat that the hulk paid for.

Senior trudges back to the apartment complex, taking the staircase, first, he just wanted to avoid that oxidized oxytocin man, also he thought that maybe a jog would help him lose his sorrow.

He regretted it by level 44th level.

*

Senior POV

"A... *huff* Senior never! *wheeze* Goesbackonhiswords!" I complete before a wracking of coughs breaks out.

Once my fit of coughing ends I mumble, "I knew I should've brought my inhaler."

Then I remember that I wasn't meant to go up the stairs, but to go onto a date with Emi, but she just ended making out with another dude in front of me. And god do I hate NTR, they're gonna be humiliated when they get to work tomorrow.

For now, I just want to cry myself to sleep. In piece. I guess I'm going to shut down Emmit so I don't hear the same retarded jokes over and over again.

While I'm wheezing for air, I pull out my phone to see the notifications.

Now everybody asks me, or at least the people who notice and care, and aren't trying to steal my phone, 'Why do you have that ANCIENT Improne 22Xs Nax?'

And my (obvious) answer is, 'Its easier to code over and add... illegal features, like a taser app. And, if I got those expensive-ass brain implants, someone will break into my apartment and rip it out of my head, see? Obvious!'

The phone had two notifications, one from a message from my landowner and one saying somebody bought something from me, whatever.

OK, enough gasping for air and wishing for an inhaler, lets go.

...

OK, I might've cheated the last ten levels by walking, but who gives a shit!?

The landlord?!?!?! Nope!

I slowly walk up to my hotel-room sized apartment to finally relax in silence before fucking up Emi's life for a good year.

"What to do... What do to..." I mumble while I pull out the keys to open the steel door before me.

The door gives an old fashioned click which I set it to do whenever it ends unlocking.

When I entered I saw my... "WAIT WHAT?!" I yell, pulling out my phone to call the police, not that they would arrive, they don't care about as poor and as unknown as me, but it was worth trying.

"Awww FUCK!" I mumble, my fucking phone decides to die at the worst time. [Definitely can't relate]

I walk into the room, fists raised, not bothering to be silent, as I clearly made myself quite audible 5 seconds ago.

If I can get my auto cannon running, I may break the part if the house, but I'll surely disintegrate my home intruder to red mist.

As I enter the living room, a young woman, roughly 6 and a half feet tall, white hair down to her hips, with clothing that a stereotypical scientist wears. She slowly raises her hands up trying to convey that she didn't mean harm. I call crap there, she wouldn't be here if she didn't want harm, but here goes nothing...

"Who ARE you?" I ask, picking up a wrench I found laying on the ground. Preparing for for an overhand throw if needed. (Which I would've probably missed)

"I am somebody, but what is your name, Cheesydoodles?" She asks, before making a odd face, I guess that the pet name her diplomatic software told her to use was bad, and I knew why.

"Sooo... you were the one who bought my faulty diplomatic software for $50,000?" I ask, before laughing out loud, I would've doubled over, but then maybe she would attack me.

"Errr... can I have a refund?" She says, her body language slightly changing, the software was clearly shredded into small quarks of data.

"Nope! Anyways, what are you doing in my apartment?" I ask, going back to the pressing matter at hand.

"I'm here to fix your coffee machine! See?" She says, showing a coffee machine bouncing around, making happy noises every time it hops around, but the most peculiar thing was that it was no longer plugged in!

"W-who are you" I say, before my jaw goes numb, and falls.

She grins, "If you let me stay, I'll tell you all the secrets there are... and maybe more~" She whispers.

OK, I'm going to rip her head off, I swear to god, "We were having a fucking moment, and THEN YOU USE SEDUCTION SOFTWARE!? TURN THAT SHIT OFF!!!" I yell, I bet my neighbors heard that, but I don't fucking care at the moment.

"What if I told you I wasn't using seduction software, what would you say?" She says.

"You were using the '~'! There is no way you didn't use seduction software!" Then I remember she's waiting for an answer to another question as well. "And you can stay, for now." I finish, sighing, I go to my room.

And that's when I realized, I only have one small bed...