Prologue: "I wish..."

This wasn't how I expected my day to go at all, how does this even happen? One minute I was there, now I'm stuck here and I have no idea where here is.

Am I crazy? Am I? At least that would explain this or maybe this is just some kind of messed up dream that I'm having right now.

Could this be real?

Then why is everything so familiar to me, yet, so different from what I remember it to be.

How?

Why?

What?

Where?

I have so many questions, so many of them to be left unanswered. I don't know what's worst, the fact that I'm lost or the fact that no one around me seems to know who I am, not even those I called my friends.

Is this because of what I said? Is it because of how I reacted when he told me he had to leave? I knew he was going to eventually, but I kept running from my reality and now it's clear, I'm in anything but my reality.

Is my mind doing this to me because my life is a mess? Because I'm hurt? Did I lose that sane part of myself?

"No, Sagwa don't think like that, you'll be fine, just breath."

My voice? Is it even mine at all?

These buildings are familiar to me, they seem newer filled with new people, different people that I've never seen before, the cars, the children, even the damn trees are all familiar to me. This is my world right?

But then why... why do I feel so out of place?

-12 Hours Earlier...

"So... I'm not saying this is the weirdest case I've ever been on, but it is." My girlfriend, Lisa, spoke excitedly on the phone, while I was in my office giving orders and telling my models how I wanted them positioned for the photoshoot.

"She needs a little dab of blush just here." I pointed to the model's cheek at the same time gesturing for the other girls to put their garments on.

"Um, hello?! Sagwa, are you listening to me?" Lisa asked me eagerly.

"Yes of course I am, but aren't you not supposed to be talking to people outside of your job about the murders?" I gave one of my makeup artists a look to move a bit quicker since the model she was working on was up next.

"Well I mean yeah, but I'm not telling you the details or who did it, just parts of it, besides, it's not like you're gonna tell anyone."

I rolled my eyes, Lisa was a kick ass detective here in Seoul, at her age, it was almost impossible for her to became a detective but she's good at what she does, that's for sure. I loved her and all, we were friends for a long time; however, she could be a little... crazy sometimes. She's passionate about what she does and is always so eager to share it with me, so she can get carried away.

"You should write a book when you retire." I told her fixing the bow of a model's dress, giving her one last look over before giving the okay for her picture to be taken.

"What do you mean retire?! I'm only 29!"

I couldn't help but laugh at her adorable reaction.

"Why are you laughing?! I'm serious!" she said and I could tell she was annoyed with me.

"Sorry baby girl, but you should write a book, you always have so much to tell me over the phone and whenever we're together, its always a different story with you, always a new adventure. I'm sure they're many people who'd love to read about the girl who took down one of the most notorious drug lords in Seoul with a base ball bat and handcuffs." I said, praising her, remembering the very funny story.

"Well you know what I always say, 'The bigger they are, the harder they fall.' It was his fault anyway for calling me tiny, who does he think he is, my brother? Plus I'm sure his butt still hurts to this day after the beating I gave him."

'Yup, she's crazy.'

"But wasn't he like 6'3 or something?" I giggled, I still couldn't believe how feisty she was.

"Who cares, that didn't stop me from leaving a scar on his 6'3 ass, now he has something to remember me by." she said, I'm pretty sure smiling to herself.

"Girl you're too much." I told her now watching as the photos were taken for my magazines.

She laughed on the other end. "So, how are things with you? Isn't it fashion week or something?"

"Yes it is and the fact that I haven't hung up on you yet says something, even though I'm really busy right now." I replied pinching my forehead.

"Hey, don't you also have a fashion show on top of all this in a month?" she then added.

I exhaled. "Don't remind me."

She giggled. "You'll be fine, isn't Okada there with you?"

"Well you know him, he had some important 'business' to attend to." I told her knowing she knew what I meant.

"Oh, for dad." she said, understandably.

"Precisely why I'm on my own to deal with all this, not that I mind really." I reassured her.

Being a fashion designer was all I ever wanted, more than anything and meeting Okada -my now best-friend- gave me that chance. I was always shy and didn't believe in my ability, I thought I wasn't good enough to be on top. But he believed in me and gave me a chance and now I'm one of the top fashionistas in the world, all because he trusted me.

He was my business partner and he lived with me -if you call coming into my house, eating my food and then leaving, living with me, then. Most of the time he lived with his father.

"Your brother has left me alone again as always." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sure he'll be back soon. But... don't you have somewhere to be?"

"What do mean?" I questioned.

"Hello?! Your date with... you know who, he wanted to tell you something, remember?" she reminded me.

"Crap! I almost forgot about that." I fumbled, now trying to fix my skirt, running to a near by mirror checking my outfit.

"As usual." She probably rolled her eyes on the other end.

I didn't know what the problem was, I wasn't always late.

"Just go or you'll actually be late." she said before hanging up.

I took the phone from my ear and hurriedly made my way downstairs. "Soo-ah!" I called to my assistant.

"Yes ma'am?" she answered with a smile when she saw me.

"Soo-ah, do you think you can cover for me? Just until Okada gets back? You just have to supervise the photoshoot, I trust that you know what to do by now." I smiled at her, she was a promising young designer, no better time for her to take up responsibility than the present.

"Um... I'm not completely sure that I can... but I'll try my best." she stuttered, unsure of herself.

She was cute, though I wished she'd have more confidence in her ability.

"You'll do fine, I believe in you." I touched her shoulder to reassure her, before running through the door finding my way to the car park.

I searched through my contacts and pressed his name. "Come on, Okada pick up."

"Sagwa is something wrong?" he sweetly asked.

"Where are you? I need you." I told him, desperately trying to find my car keys.

"I'm on my way back, relax, why? What's going on?"

"It's nothing serious. I just have to leave and I need you to take over from Soo-ah." I told him finally finding my keys and quickly hopping into my car, starting the engine.

"Right, your little date with um..."

'What is wrong with these two? Just say his name the world isn't going to end.'

"Yeah... bye, oh and you still owe me those sketches from earlier." I reminded him before hanging up.

I drove for about twenty minutes before parking my car at the park. This park was our little meeting place where there wasn't anyone around.

I got out, locked the doors and began walking towards the fountain where I found him there sitting on a bench.

"Hey there stranger." I greeted him with a shy smile as I got closer.

"Hi Sagwa." He smiled at me brightly, his chocolate brown eyes, his beautiful jawline showing his dimples whenever he smiled, always had power over me.

I took a seat next to him.

He made me nervous, when I was around him the confident and powerful woman I appeared to be in the office faded. When I was with him... how do I even explain it, it was like I was just me, whenever I was with him I wasn't just the owner of a fashion company, I could be who I was, I could show him everything, all of my flaws, without being judged.

The warmth of his hand on mine brought me out of my thoughts and I met his concerned gaze.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I just... how are you?" I asked him, turning my attention to the fountain in front of us.

"Great, overwhelmed but great."

I was going to ask what he meant by 'overwhelmed' but I had a pretty good idea why so I didn't ask.

They did just release a new album, so between performing and meetings with fans, they were really busy.

"What exactly did you need to tell me?" I asked leaning my head on his shoulder closing my eyes for a moment.

"Oh that..." He cleared his throat and rubbed behind his neck, I could sense his nervousness. "The others are doing great by the way."

The others, being the rest of his group members from BT7.

"That's awesome, they weren't any problems with the wardrobe this time right? Didn't you guys have a couple malfunctions before?" I chuckled. "That reminds me, I'm finished making the outfits your company wanted, they just have to send someone to pick them up." I occasionally designed for his Label (Just Rise Entertainment or JR Entertainment) when they wanted me to.

"The clothes were perfect. Sagwa... about what I wanted to say. I'm sure you already knew this though, I just wanted to tell you myself." He took my other hand. "We're going to be on tour, so I won't see you for a while again, I just hope that you're not upset about that." he told me gently.

"Namjun, I understand. You don't have to explain, I'll be really busy this month or so too, don't worry about it, just have fun and be safe." I smiled and leaned in kissing him on the cheek.

That's what I said but in reality I was kinda disappointed, our schedules didn't exactly allow us to be together so often. I was use to it, so why was I so upset?

"Actually, there's something else I wanted to say..." His voice sounded so serious all of a sudden, so I remained quiet waiting for him to say what he needed to. "I... I think we should break up. It's not fair to you anymore, I never have time for you and then there's your job... our schedules are always packed, we almost never see each other."

I frowned and my head tilted to the side as his words failed to register. It was the last thing I expected him to say. 'Did... did he just break up with me? That can't be right.'

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. This was too sudden, to unexpected this was so unlike him. How could he do this to me after everything we've been through together? After all the years of fighting to make this relationship work despite the difficulties, he's just going to give it all up?

"Sagwa, I'm sorry." he apologized.

"Even if we don't spend that much time together... I still want you, I still want to be with you. Namjun, I need you by my side. I'm okay with it, I really am." I pleaded, taking his hands.

I didn't want him to leave me, he was the only way I could breathe.

"Sagwa we've known each other for a long time, did you think I wouldn't see how unhappy you were?" he asked and I looked away from him, tightly gripping the fabric of my skirt.

His words weren't inaccurate but they weren't completely accurate either. I had tried my best to hide just how much not seeing him upset me, but no matter how upset or disappointed him canceling our plans would make me I was never unhappy.

"I admit the days when you were... away I'd miss you a lot but I was willing to wait, I was willing to bare it no matter what, because I knew I'd get to see you eventually."

"I know this may be hard for you to accept, but just know, it's not because I don't love you anymore, I do; which is why I decided to do this, you're everything to me, and I want you to be happy. Maybe one day if our jobs slow down and we still love each other then we could... start over."

I wanted to understand why he was doing this to me, but I couldn't. "So your solution to us not being able to see each other a lot, was to not see each other at all? Namjun, a relationship takes two people, we could have talked about this and worked it out but instead you just decided to end things between us, just like that?" I wanted to stop talking before I made things worst, but the words just flowed out of my mouth. "How do you think that makes me feel?! How can you define my happiness?! You know what, I wish we weren't who we were, if we were just two normal people with normal jobs, I wonder if we would have met or knew if the other existed, then maybe we could be 'happy' like you desire so much!" My words were harsher than I originally planned. I just wanted him to understand how I felt, how much his words hurt me, how unfair and inconsiderate he was being.

Tears began to stream down my face one by one, I slowly released his hands and backed away from him; his words as hurtful as they were saddened and angered me.

I wiped my tears away, turning my face away from him.

He then reached out to wipe my face. "Sagwa—"

"Don't touch me!" I snapped, pushing his hand away, surprising him and even myself. I didn't mean to yell at him. "Namjun, I'm so—" My phone suddenly rang. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone but I answered, "Hel—"

"Sagwa! I need your help, please help me! Hurry it's urgent!" Lisa screamed out of breath, almost making me drop the phone.

"Lisa, what are you—"

"No time to explain! Just hurry!" she yelled again, I was actually beginning to worry.

She told me the address. "Sagwa, I'm so sorry for dragging you in—"

*BANG* *BANG*

"Lisa?! Lisa?! Hello?! Are you still there?!" I asked but there was no response.

'Don't panic Sagwa, the call just probably lost signal.'

Namjun looked at me with worry indicating he heard everything that just happened. "Everything okay is... Lisa okay?"

"I'm... I'm not sure. I have to go..." It was clear that something was wrong and even though I was currently facing my own problem... Lisa needed my help. I ran to my car leaving him behind.

I jumped inside and smashed the gas accelerating down the road, I knew I should have slowed down, but I kept going fearing for Lisa's life.

The moment I arrived, I looked for her in the abandoned building, searching everywhere.

"Lisa?! Lisa! Where are you?!" I shouted, desperately scanning the area.

"I'm... over here." her voice was weak and barely noticeable.

I ran to her side in panic. I found her lying down behind a wall, her torso was covered in blood and she was barely breathing.

"Oh my god! Lisa, what the hell happened?!" I placed my hand on her wound. "I have to call someone." With one hand I grabbed my phone to call an ambulance for her.

"Sagwa don't... just leave, there's nothing you can do for me now. Go, before they return. I shouldn't have called you here, I just... I didn't know who to trust anymore... just please, please leave... I would never forgive myself if something happened to you because of me." she pleaded, placing something into my hands.

"Are you crazy?! Then what am I supposed to do?! Leave you here to die?! Think about your family, you need to survive! I refuse to just leave you here!" I choked out, tears streaming down my cheeks as I begged her to stay with me.

I heard heavy foot steps approaching us. I looked down at her, her eyes pleading with me to leave before it was too late.

But it was too late, all I could do for her was cover her body with my own, protecting her from further injury.

*BANG*

A bullet through my back, a gun shot ringing in my ears.

As I mumbled a small sorry to her, I fell limp to the side hearing her cries.

If I had know I would die this way, I wouldn't have been so mean to Namjun, I should have tried to understand him.

Now in my final moment, I desperately wished to see him again.

I listened to my heartbeat get slower and slower until the sound was no more, just deafening silence; my eyes closing for the last time, and that unbearable pain ceasing.

...