8
As it turned out, I didn't go back to school until the following Monday, but it wasn't because I was scared or anything. Instead, it was because of Raziel. It was shortly after midnight on the night of Sara's visit that we got a phone call saying that he'd finally sprouted his wings. And, of course, I had to have my time to see him the very next morning.
Raziel was doing well when I came into his room. I found him up and looking in the full-length mirror on his closet door at his new wings. His back still looked a little red, and the area around his wings still seemed raw, but he wasn't acting like it was hurting him anymore. In fact, he looked more alive than I'd seen him in over two weeks.
"Does it feel really different?" I asked as I sat down in the squeaky desk chair near him and watched him standing there. His wings were beautiful, just like Michael's. They were very large, and the feathers were tinted with blue.
Raziel flexed them a little as he watched in the mirror.
"Not really. It's just a little more weight on my back then I was used to. But it's not too bad. I just need time to figure out how to pull them in." Raziel answered. I saw him move them again, but they didn't move anymore into back.
"Looks like you're going to be out for a while then." I noted, sighing to myself.
"Yeah. I don't really have a choice. Are you worried about it?" Raziel asked.
I shook my head, "Not really. I don't think that there's going to be any problems from Sean or anything like that. But I don't think that Anna's gonna be too happy. She's already worried sick about you." I informed him.
Raziel shook his head, his blond hair sweeping slightly over his eyes before he pushed it back.
"I know. But maybe you can do me a favor with that." he suggested.
"That depends on what it is." I warned him, giving him my most skeptical look.
No, he was not dragging me into the middle of his romantic drama. I had enough of my own between the memories of Zane and my newfound fascination with Sean.
Raziel laughed, "It's nothing too bad. I promise. Just hear me out, okay?" he requested.
"I guess." I relented, standing up and moving in front of him as I crossed my arms.
He smiled down at me. I still couldn't believe how much taller Raziel was then me now. For a while, we'd been around the same height. But just two years before, he'd begun shooting up. He was almost as tall as Michael now, and I barely came to above his shoulders.
"It's like this. I know that Anna's probably going to be really pissed at me because I can't tell her anything and she can't see me, so I need you to try and make her understand that it's nothing personal. Maybe convince her that I've got something pretty bad that I don't want to give to her. I know she'll listen to you. She's always liked you, and she considers you her best friend now. That's all I'm asking here." he explained.
I couldn't really argue with what he was saying. Anna did see me as her best friend by now and I saw her as the same. I always felt so comfortable around Anna Smith. Even the summer before, I'd been able to hang out with her alone at times and feel completely at ease. Looking back on that, I believed that Anna was the one who helped lift my spirits from the whole thing with Zane. In fact, she was the only other person who even knew about him. She was my confidant in all of it, and apparently, she kept the secret for me very well, considering Raziel had never mentioned any of it. And trust me, I believe that if he knew, he certainly would have never left that one alone.
"All right. I guess I can try. But I can't make any promises about how she'll take all of this. Girls can get really emotional when they're in love, and something like this can really depress them." I warned him.
"I get that, but I'm not that worried. Anna's a strong girl. I just hope she'll be able to keep loving me after she finds out about this." Raziel admitted.
Thinking back on his words as I sat there at the lunch table that afternoon, I wondered if they were prophetic. After all, how could most normal people keep loving us once they knew this big secret about our family? I was certain that being a Nephilim affected every part of our lives. Perhaps even the aging process. For people in their mid-thirties, Michael, Raphael, and Gabrielle all looked young, like they were maybe in their early twenties. How would that pan out in the next ten or fifteen years?
I glanced at Anna as she stirred her milk with her straw. She'd been looking a little more depressed today. But she hadn't gotten to really talk to Raziel or see him in almost a week. I felt like this persona really didn't fit her. The Anna I'd come to know was always bubbly and happy. This was a downer, even in the crowded cafeteria.
"Are you going to be okay? You've been really out of it today." I spoke up.
Anna blinked, bringing her head up to look at me.
"Oh, sorry. I guess I'm just stuck on all of this now. I wish Raziel would call me or something. I hate this." she admitted.
"You know that Raziel's not doing this on purpose. He's just been really sick." I reasoned for what felt like the tenth time that day.
But it still didn't seem to be getting through. Anna had been becoming more and more convinced that this had to be something to do with her.
"Maybe, but I'm telling you, if he keeps not talking to me, I'm going to dump him." she threatened.
I let out a long breath. Raziel really did need to do something about this soon if he wanted to keep her. It wasn't my place to keep trying to mend things between them.
But before I could respond, she suddenly looked up, her eyes widening like something had surprised her. I followed her gaze and immediately understood why.
Sean was walking over to our table.
I hadn't seen Sean since the incident the week before, although I had to say that he didn't look that different from any of the other times that I'd seen him. Dressed in dark blue jeans and a green shirt, he looked calm as he stood near us.
"Hey." he casually greeted us.
"Hey Sean. Haven't seen you in a while. What's up?" Anna responded, sounding as surprised as I felt.
Sean flashed her a smile. It looked a lot softer than the smiles I remembered seeing from him before.
"Not too much. Actually, I was wondering if I could sit with you two today. You don't mind my company, do you?" he asked, glancing at me.
"No, it's okay. Guess it's easier without Raziel around, huh?" Anna joked.
Sean agreed, sitting down in the chair on the other side of her, "I suppose it is."
He acted cool enough, but I noticed that his green eyes looked a little sad.
"So, what was up with you last week? You didn't come back until today too. Is everyone catching some super bug or something?" Anna continued.
Sean shook his head, "No. I had to visit my uncle and help him with a few things because he'd been sick and fell behind in his work, so I took the days off to do it. I did hear that Raziel has been out for a while too. I'll assume he's sick with the way you're talking."
"Yeah. He'll probably be another week. He's got a really bad case of the flu, and the doctor told him to make sure that he got plenty of rest." I explained.
No, it wasn't the best excuse in the world, but it worked in this situation. I suspected that Sean knew exactly what might have been going on too. Being what he was, he had to have known that we changed.
"By the way, why did you suddenly decided to sit with us today Sean? I didn't think that you were that interested in talking to us before. At least, you've never acted like it." Anna said, giving him a suspicious look.
Sean wasn't put off, "There's nothing more to it. I just hadn't gotten much of a chance to talk to Mia before, so I thought I'd go ahead and take it while Raziel wasn't here since he tends to object to my very presence." he answered.
He speaks so eloquently, I noticed.
The familiarity was both comforting and disconcerting for me. Sean was far too familiar in that sense. I had to make him leave.
"That's really nice of you Sean, but I don't think that Raziel's going to take it well if he finds out about this." I informed him.
I was trying to use the roundabout way to say that Michael wouldn't like this. I didn't really know that for certain, but it was worth a shot to be rid of him.
"I know, but I'm not worried about it." Sean assured me. He didn't look concerned either. Damn my luck.
The bell rang, signaling that our lunch period was over. That was a relief. At least now I could try to get away from him.
"Well, looks like it's time for class again." Anna moaned as we stood up.
"Try not to follow Raziel's lead and sleep in class. It's not good for you." Sean joked. He then turned and walked towards the hall leading to the classrooms.
"Jerk." Anna muttered under her breath. She shook her head as we walked to class, "That was weird though. Why decide to be nice when Raziel's not here? He's never cared about ruffling his feathers before."
I almost choked as I heard her choice of words, but managed not to. It was just a rhetorical way of saying something. There was no way that she could have known the truth.
"I know. But it seems like Sean does things his own way." I told her.
"Maybe. But you know, I think he might actually like you. He's certainly gone out of his way when Raziel isn't around to talk to you from what I've seen and heard. And the way he was looking at you..." Anna started.
"I really don't think so Anna. I think you're seeing things." I interrupted.
Thankfully, we'd gotten to my classroom. This conversation was getting uncomfortable and I wanted to end it as quick as possible.
"You can say what you want, but I know what I was seeing there. But right now, I've got to go, so I'll see you later." Anna responded, a mischievous smile crossing her face. She turned and hurried down the hall to get to her own class.
I sighed as I sat down at my desk. At least this was Environmental Science. Most of the time, Mr. Clarence spent the hour and a half just talking. It would at least give me time to gather my thoughts and try to make heads or tails of the things that were currently happening to me.
Glancing around the room, I took in the various posters on the walls. Evolution, the studies of various animals and life itself. I thought about myself and my family. We defied all of that. How could I ever take such a thing seriously again?
As the second bell rang, I looked down at my notebook and thought over what had just happened in the cafeteria. Sean really did have some audacity to him to just approach us like that and act like everything was okay and like nothing had ever happened between me and him.
It bugged me so much that I dwelled on it all through my class, and even into my English class. I even sat at my desk and jotted down my thoughts in my notebook. I wrote down words to describe my feelings of loss over Zane that I still had, and then my feelings of confusion over Sean and all of the things I'd begun seeing and hearing. I summed it up in four sentences under the feelings.
Fox attacks me.
Fox may have liked me from beginning.
Fox attacked me anyway.
Now Fox likes me because I broke his wild mind.
I shook my head, hoping in vain that it would shake the thoughts out. But Anna's words from before we parted in that hall were burned into my mind. Sean Morrison might actually like me. The thought was scary to me. I didn't know if a fox liking someone like me could ever be good.
But there was also something thrilling about it. If he actually did like me...
I immediately put my head down on my desk, feeling angry at myself. I must have been losing my mind. There was no other explanation. I'd sworn never again after Zane. I'd sworn that I'd never let another boy into my heart. This whole thing had to be some sort of stupid nightmare, at least with this half fox boy. I'd have to wake up soon, right?
The final bell of the day sounded after what felt like forever. I stood up and gathered my books then walked over to the teacher to get the assignment to take home for Raziel. Raphael had insisted that his stuff be sent home so that he wouldn't fall behind.
Lucky Raziel.
Dealing with our teachers was probably a lot easier than dealing with Raphael when it came to his studies. I had the feeling that Raphael was very strict about it.
Walking out to the blue lockers, I was thinking about visiting with Raziel for a while. I really could've used the distraction for all of my odd thoughts and feelings. I spun the combination on the dial and opened my locker to grab my bag and put my folders and books in there.
But as I closed the locker, I was surprised to hear a familiar voice behind me.
"Hey Mia."
I cringed, knowing who would be standing there when I turned around. But I told myself that I had to face him. Meeting in school like we were wasn't going to hurt anything, and I didn't have to be nice to him if I didn't want to.
"What do you want now Sean?" I asked as I turned to face him.
I was trying hard to keep my cool. I kept reminding myself that I was a Renaldi. I knew now that I shouldn't have had to fear the likes of him.
Sean smiled at me. It wasn't mean at all. Instead, it looked understanding.
"I was wondering if we could talk for a bit." he requested.
I let out a long sigh, "You know what Dad told you. You're supposed to stay away from me." I reminded him.
"I know." Sean replied, shaking his head slightly, "But I needed to speak with you anyway. I promise, I'm not trying to do anything to hurt you. I just want to talk. We can do it here if it makes you more comfortable."
I looked around us, watching the other students beginning to file out to the parking lot.
"I guess I could talk for a little bit. But let's do it in my car. It might be better." I suggested.
I've often wondered if I'd lost my mind a bit when I look back at this moment. I swore that I would never let another boy close to me ever again, let alone this one with his strange heritage. But there was this small piece of me that insisted that I could trust him now. Besides, we were going to be in a very public place. Sean wouldn't have been dumb enough to try anything, right?
But as I walked out there with him, another thought also crossed my mind. The medicine he'd left me. Now that I thought about it, Sara had mentioned something about it that night that she'd stopped by, although she didn't know exactly what it was. And the medicine had cleared up the wounds on my neck within two days. I didn't even have scars from them. How had he gotten stuff like that?
My Mazda was parked near the front of the school, and the two of us got into the front seats after I unlocked it. Sean looked around at the interior as we did.
"Did you pick your own car?" he asked me.
"Yeah. Why?" I responded.
"Just curious. It's a nice little car. But the Mazdas usually are."
I took a deep breath, looking back at my steering wheel so that he wouldn't see the blush creeping across my cheeks. It didn't matter what he was. He still had a beautiful smile, and this one actually looked sincere, which made it even better.
"So, what did you want to talk about? I don't have a lot of time right now. I need to go to my uncle's and get this work to Raziel." I managed.
"I understand." Sean acknowledged, "Actually, I suppose the biggest reason for me doing this is because I wanted the chance to apologize in person."
"Apologize?" I repeated.
"Yes. I realize that I did it in the note I left, but it doesn't feel right not saying it in person."
"Oh yeah. I guess." I admitted, feeling my neck again. There was nothing left for me to feel. Only smooth, unmarred skin.
"It seems that the medicine worked very well. I was hoping that I got it right. But I felt awful over how terrible those wounds were, so I had to at least try." Sean confessed.
"Yeah. Thanks for that by the way. It really did help." I responded.
"It's no problem. But back to what I was saying, I've been thinking about what happened a lot since then, and I know that you probably still don't believe me, but I did want to apologize to you myself for it. The truth is, I can't really explain why I did what I did. The best I could possibly say is that the young fox in me just got the better of me. It did from time to time before, although never that bad. But... it won't happen anymore." Sean went on.
"But how do you know that? Isn't it a part of your nature?" I had to ask.
No, I didn't fully believe him or all of that breaking stuff that Michael was telling me. But who could blame me after what I'd seen before? I was still a sixteen year old girl. This kind of stuff just didn't happen to us. At least, it didn't happen to normal girls.
Sean nodded as he looked at me, the sunlight coming in through the car window shining slightly on his dark hair.
"I know that you don't believe me about any of this, but I do mean what I say Mia. I'm not a bad person at heart, but I'm also not someone who can naturally fit in with others. This duel nature has been a burden ever since I can remember, and that afternoon, I lost myself without even realizing what was happening until I found myself on that ground. I didn't know what had happened at first, until I looked up at you; and when I saw you bleeding and afraid like you were, I was horrified. I couldn't believe what I'd almost done." he explained.
I studied him as he spoke. He looked so sincere. But foxes were supposed to be very tricky too, at least according to my family. Michael had sat me down and spoken to me at length about what he knew about them before I came back to school, just to make sure that I understood more about what was around me.
But I couldn't quite brush Sean's apology off either. It just wasn't in me.
"I guess I could take that, but it still happened, and you said that you didn't even realize it until afterward. How can you possibly know that it won't happen again?" I asked him.
"I'm well aware of that, and I won't ask you to forgive me or believe me on any of it. The biggest thing I wanted out of this was to apologize to you and hope that maybe someday you will. I won't sit here and lie to you about what I am or the things I've done before. I've been anything but a good person. But I still want to be able to be around you, and I'm hoping that my being broken will stop this from ever happening again. You're not like any other person I've ever known Mia, and I want to know you more. I've wanted to know you from the day we met, and that feeling has only grown stronger since what happened." Sean confessed.
Wow, he was really making his hard. I couldn't believe how hard this was suddenly getting. I guess I understood my own truth, and that was that I really wanted to know Sean too. For as dangerous as he was, he was fascinating too. The only problem was actually making myself trust him, even a little bit.
"Sean, I'm glad to know that you won't hurt me again, but it's going to take me some time before I can really talk more to you." I admitted, keeping my head down.
"I understand." Sean responded. I noticed him look at the car's clock from the corner of my eye, "Time's moving on, so maybe I should get going. But please, consider my words, even if you're just humoring me, and if you need someone to talk to outside of your family, I'll be glad to listen."
I saw him put a small, folded piece of paper into my console, then he gently stroked my hair back, looking into my eyes and smiling softly at me before getting out and closing the car door.
I put my head down again as he walked away. That had been one of the hardest things I'd ever done.
After a few minutes of recomposing myself, I picked up the folded paper and opened it to see what it was. A cell number was written on it. I chuckled and shook my head. This guy was too much. He may just drive me crazy before I figured him out.
I debated on whether I should go and visit Raziel or not as I left the parking lot. After what had just happened, I wasn't too sure, especially when I considered that Anna may have tried to call him and told him about Sean sitting with us during lunch.
But at the same time, I really wasn't ready to go home yet with all of this on my mind. So I decided to suck it up and visit with my cousin for a while. Maybe he'd help me forget about all of this, and hopefully, he wouldn't know about any of it for a while either.
The ride to my uncle's house was pretty uneventful for me. But as I pulled up the long driveway and parked the car, I thought about whether or not I should tell Raziel about what had just happened. If I didn't, he'd probably never know. After all, Anna didn't see me go out to my car with Sean. Or, at least, I didn't think she did. And if she told him about lunch time, that wouldn't hurt anything. Sean was allowed to approach me in the school with other people around.
But the talk in my car might be considered a whole other story. Hiding the paper with the phone number in my glove box, I decided that it would be better not to mention it. What Raziel didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
Raphael's house was quiet for the most part as I let myself in using the spare key I'd been given. I could hear music playing upstairs, so I assumed that Raziel was up. Walking up the stairs, I was thinking about Raziel's words before about Anna. He was right. The Renaldis certainly didn't seem to have a lot of luck with relationships. Was that another reason that Sean scared me so much? Because I didn't want to lose another guy, even if he wasn't exactly human either?
I pushed the thoughts aside as I knocked on Raziel's door. Better make myself act normal again. Raziel had always been good at sensing when something was up with me. After a few seconds, I heard him answer.
"Come in."
I found him standing by his mirror again as I came in. He'd managed to pull his wings back in, and was now letting them back out.
I smiled, "Playing with your new accessories?" I teased as I walked over to him.
"Very funny." Raziel replied, smiling back at me, "Seems like you had a good day."
I sat on the bed near him, "It was okay. A little bit boring though. All the teachers are doing right now is reviewing for tests."
"Did Morrison show back up today?" Raziel asked, still playing with his wings.
He looked like he was getting better at pulling them in now. I had the feeling that he was going to ask that one too. Raziel would never leave that subject alone. But this also told me that Anna hadn't spoken to him yet about what had happened at lunch. At least I'd dodged that bullet for now.
"Yes. But he left me alone." I lied.
"Guess he's finally starting to feel like he can show his face again. Wish I'd been there to see it. I would've knocked his lights out and not regretted a thing." Raziel stated.
"Come on Raziel, just let it go. It's over now, and he's not bothering me." I begged.
"I guess." Raziel muttered. He wasn't being very convincing.
"Please, no trouble. Promise me?"
"Okay, okay. I promise I won't do anything unless he provokes me."
I didn't have the heart to argue with him. This was at least better than nothing.
"By the way, you'd better make sure to answer your phone later. Anna's pretty upset with you over all of this." I informed him.
"No kidding. But I get that. It's not her fault that I can't tell her the truth or let her see me yet. Hopefully I can keep these wings in tonight and Dad might let me out of the house tomorrow. If so, then I'll meet with her for dinner or something to make it up to her." Raziel explained. As I watched, he pulled the wings into his back completely and pulled a black tank top over his head before sitting beside me on the bed, "That's much better. At least I can wear shirts again."
I studied him for a moment, "Do they really feel that different now?" I asked him.
"Not too bad. I can feel them in my back, but it doesn't bother me. I think I'm getting used to it. I've learned to fly a little bit too since this morning. That was kinda fun." Raziel replied.
I laughed, "I bet. That's going to be an interesting experience when it happens to me."
"Speaking of, any sign of yours yet?"
I shook my head, "No. I haven't felt any different. It's kind of weird. I always thought that we were like twins with just about everything."
"We are." Raziel replied, "But maybe we're just meant to get these wings at different times. Besides, at least you get to be normal for a little bit longer. I can see myself trying to explain these scars to Anna later."
"You're really serious about her, aren't you?" I noted.
"Yeah. I've always meant it when I've said that I care about her. There's no other girl I've ever met that's like Anna. I just hope she doesn't end up dumping me over all of this. That would be really bad." Raziel admitted, shaking his head slightly at the thought.
"I don't think she'll do that Raziel. She's really into you, and she's been worried sick about you." I told him.
"Yeah. That doesn't surprise me." Raziel sighed. He looked up at the ceiling for a moment before facing me again, "By the way, when are you going to start looking for a boyfriend?"
"What?"
Where in the world had that one come from?
"You heard me. I think you should find yourself a boyfriend around here. It's not like there aren't plenty of guys who would want to go out with you, and most of them aren't that bad." Raziel clarified.
"And why do I need a boyfriend? I'm perfectly happy being single." I countered.
Now he was following suit with Anna. She had bugged me about boyfriends too when we'd first met. That was until I'd told her about Zane. Then she'd dropped it, beings she understood why I felt like I did. But I still wasn't ready to tell Raziel about any of that.
Raziel laughed at me, "Calm down. You know I'm just teasing you. But seriously, you might want to think about trying. Sometimes it's just fun to find somebody to hang out with. It doesn't have to be serious."
I looked down, feeling myself blush a little. As much as I hated admitting it, he was right. It never hurt to have somebody just to hang out with aside from family. But there had never been any other guys aside from Zane that I'd been interested in. At least, up until I'd met Sean.
"Hey Raziel, do you really think that all of the ones like Sean are dangerous?" I heard myself ask.
"Huh? What do you mean?" Raziel responded, looking over at me in confusion. I'd actually caught him off guard. That didn't happen too often.
"Don't get me wrong. I know what I saw and what almost happened to me, but I feel like I really don't know that much about foxes, or the things like them. I didn't even know about us until last week, and it makes me wonder if maybe Sean's not that bad after all." I confessed.
Raziel let out a long breath, rubbing the back of his head. He was apparently thinking of the best way to answer me.
"Well, I don't know if I could give you the right answer with Sean and all." he confessed, "To be honest with you, my dad knows a lot more about that kind of stuff then I do, and personally, all of this is kind of common to me because I've known about it since I was a little kid. I can't say why Michael waited so long to tell you. Maybe he was just worried over something about it with you living away from us before."
"Maybe." I agreed softly.
Raziel put his arm around my shoulders, "Hey, don't worry so much about all of this. Nothing's going to happen to you now, and it's not that big of a deal that you're going to change. You're with us anyway, so it's not like you'll ever be alone in it, and as for that stupid fox, just forget about him. He's not worth worrying about, okay?" he reassured me.
I returned his smile as I rested my head against his shoulder, "Okay."
At the time, I felt that perhaps I could move on from all of this with Raziel's help, and even though I still had my doubts about Sean's real intentions and his being broken, I wanted to leave it all to be. Besides, there was no way that a Nephilim and a fox could ever be together.
Or, at least, that was what I reasoned. However, I would find my reasoning would be tested more in the coming times, and maybe, just maybe, my destiny was about to write itself right there in the small town of Madison.