CHAPTER 1 - Self destruction, anger and loneliness.
At some point we all have these thoughts that we cannot go on anymore because of the pain and struggle and a lot of other things… and most the people including me have attempted suicide… because the pain we go through is not easy it is very difficult… and at that point, we don't realize who God is, we think we are all alone with no by our side supporting us…
Some people have gone to the edge of cutting their body and hands but don't realize that when we die that would be our first death and then there is heaven and hell…. so do you think when we suicide in pain, we go to heaven?
No, we don't, we go to hell cause the idea of suicide is given by Satan and none other… God would never give you the idea of suicide, he is kind and passionate, he wants you to live till the day he comes by himself to take you to heaven… why do you want to die before that and burn in hell for eternity?
Do you wish to die thinking you would get peace, maybe for your body there is, but not for your soul….
People have seen hell… it burns and burns and you cannot die even if you wish to and you want to go to such a place.
If you want peace during self-destruction, cry out as much as you want…. cry out to the one and only one, and then HEAVEN WILL HEAR YOU AND GOD WILL LIFT YOUR BURDENS AND MAKE IT LIGHT AND you should remind yourself that he died for your self-destruction on the cross…
If you are hurting yourself, do you think God will be happy?
No…
He is gonna be so sad and do want to see him that way?
I know it is hard but you need to strengthen your faith cause when you do that his hand will always be with you…
No matter where or what you are…
He loves you no matter how you look because he, the GOD ALMIGHTY made you… he is the creator of your body…
If your try to destroy your body, you are DESTROYING GOD'S CREATION…
"you are faithfully and wonderfully made" - Jesus
Now tell me, do think death is a solution?
If you still say yes, I can share with you my story…
And I hope you would feel better.
You know all my life I thought I was alone cause I never had friends, and then when I was 17, I was raped… I thought my life was over and I cried all day to myself and begged people to catch that man who did it to me.. but everyone refused … I used to go to church but not a regular person, not a holy person, not a pure one too.
I lived a lonely life for 8 years although I was with my family… I was depressed for 10 years and on medications… I put on weight I became so fat and people used to tease me, they separated me from themselves…
I wish I was like them…
But I was 19 years old, I had a dream… I saw a bright light like a personal figure who came to me on my bed while sitting and crying, he came and took the Bible and put it over my head and I saw a barrier that's covering me or should I say protecting me… so when I woke up I took the BIBLE and started to read it from Mathew.
I learned that Jesus did miracles, miracles that no man could do…but I did not have FAITH…
But when I started to read the Bible I had more attacks from Satan. I became weak and scared I decided to end my life cause everything was coming back from my past.
I cut my hand and I overdosed… but then when I was unconscious, I had a dream where I was drowning in black waters and my hand was left out, I cried and said " sorry" and suddenly I saw a big white bright hand which caught my hand and pulled me out.
Saying "I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU, CRY OUT TO ME AND YOU SHALL FIND ME"
When I woke up I knew it was JESUS…
He had faith in me when I did not even have faith in myself or god….
He gave me a second chance in life and I learned through the hard way that JESUS IS THERE WHEN YOU CRY WITH ALL YOUR HEART, HE IS THERE TO COMFORT YOU AND TO HOLD YOU WHEN NO CAN…
HE TOOK CARE OF MY SOUL WHEN I COULD NOT….
HE LOVES ME AND WANTS ME TO SHARE THIS STORY WITH YOU AND THAT'S WHY I SAY THAT
SUICIDE IS FROM THE DEVIL…
IF IT WAS FROM GOD, WHY DID GOD SAVE ME?
WHY DID HE?
I believe that suicide is from Satan and none other…
HE wanted my soul in hell but God saved me and I believe HE WILL ALWAYS SAVE ME….
This is my story….
And this is how HE saved me and this is why I ask you to cry out to him when you are feeling down or you think that you cannot go on anymore.
Just cry and he will hear you… he is your father after all…
SELF-DESTRUCTION IS NOT AN ANSWER TO YOUR PROBLEMS…
JESUS IS THE ANSWER TO YOUR PROBLEMS…