Finding the sussy Imposter at MC High Part V

After staring for an unholy amount of time at other MCs' junk, I finally managed to wrestle my eyes away from the danger zone. It had taken all of my willpower not to cry on the spot.

Why did they have such generous authors? Why did I get the needle dick? The world was unfair and I knew it, yet the reality in front of me was utterly cruel and surprisingly girthy.

But let's put all my envy aside for a moment, how was this even anatomically possible? A thing of this size would mean one random boner was enough to knock you out cold.

Ya know, just how much blood has to travel down there to cause a stiffy? I reckon some might just die off blood loss, even before their second brain got into close combat. By the way, this was not a rarity; these monsters were everywhere.

Regardless of where I looked, another one would greet me. Okay, but why was this called fan service? I doubt most people want to read about massive peckers.

"Dear Author─ what do the statistics say about the reader gender distribution?"

[61% are male, 8% are female and 31% are unknown]

So, 61% are dudes, 8% are dudes pretending to be a woman and 31% are totally not viewbots. In total, this had been a total sausagefest, to begin with, and now, there were even more sausages.

Was our author not thinking "straight" or did he simply want to watch the world burn? Either way, this parade was a crime against humanity. I could not believe that any female main character would tolerate this kind of shameful parade.

Sadly, my faith in humankind betrayed me once more, as a lot of female protagonists were cheering from the side and throwing powerstones at the male main character of their choosing.

It did not help that every single one of them was in perfect shape with abs as hard as their authors were trying to insert smut.

"You might not have noticed it…" said the broom with a mouth, which I had forgotten about after this whole show of flesh had begun." But they are carrying fans in their head to provide quality air to everyone"

"That is why it is called Fan service".

I was at a loss for words. Indeed in their hands were fans, each and every one of them had different designs on them. These fans were moved to bring cold air to the audience. I appreciate the neat service; but can this not be done with clothes on?

"Okay, I get the name…why did they free their willy though?" I doubt anyone was forcing these Mcs to go around naked, they seemed way too into that idea.

"Oh", said the broom. "One simply started and the rest followed him. Since then male Mcs always liked to run around in this very free-spirited manner. Afterwards is the daily public execution of anyone that dared to offend the Mcs."

I was not even going to ask about this anymore. This setting was cursed and truly a lost cause. Closing my eyes and ignoring the naked mob of aspiring novel students was the only course of action that saved my innocence.

But, the broom was not having any of it and explained in great detail how these MCs trained for the Smut chapters they were planned for. Each and every male character had to train in the art of " Boiling Blood Secret Art"

There were 3 secret stages to this technique.

The First Stage: " The level of boiling bone" had to be reached by your normal Harem MC. It allowed for up to 30% more blood in your body. Thus they were able to safely enjoy their sexy time.

The Second Stage: " The level of boiling innards: This one had to be reached by Hentai protagonists before they could even begin thinking about their bedtime action. To ensure the safety of the female counterpart flexibility training of the penile tool is also advised. It Increased the blood volume by 60%.

The Third Stage: " The level of absolute boiling", was the ultimate stage, that could only be reached by a select group of people. This stage needed to be reached by the main characters that were literal dicks. Only with an increase of 120% blood volume could they fulfil their destiny of being the ultimate penis that walked through the fantasy world.

I was so glad that I got to know this super technique. The virgin in me was indeed totally happy that they were able to make sweet love to other people, while I was single for life.

Truly the most fun your average needle dick person could ever ask for.

Stay calm, stay calm Author. Take a deep breath and realize that things could still be a lot worse for you. At the very least, I was not in a slice of life story with lolis involved. I did not want the intergalactic police to arrest me again.

More and more Mcs walked past me and I became quite numb to seeing the whole meat sceptres. Simply enjoying the cool, fresh air was much better than worrying about the abnormally large manhoods.

You know, I kinda began to admire the confidence these guys had. Much like their female counterparts, they most likely would be reduced to the size of their genitals by anyone involved.

Still, they did their thing. Unbothered by the whole world, they moved through these halls as if they owned the whole place.

To believe in yourself and not care about whatever everyone else was thinking about you; be it walking around taking your massive meaty python for a walk... or simply just talking to a creepy broom with a mouth─I wanted to have that kind of confidence.

I wouldn't say no to a large meat road either; but ya know, it was not everything in life. What's most important lies inside of you.

Most important was the imagination!!! Because even if you are fucked by life itself, in your mind you can fuck it right back... And nobody could ever take that away from you.

It felt great to speak life-changing advice to all the needle-dicked people out there. Shoutout to all you micropeens. You are not alone!!! Nobody else might, but I feel you.

I would capture the Spy just for you guys. I owed you that.

Who knew that the spy was much closer to me than I thought...

DUN DUN DUN