The danger of instant gratification… or why readers are just like rats that prefer to nut rather than eat food and then starve.

Nothing happened. Literally nothing at all. Just because the system was bombarding me with time skip notifications… did not mean that time would actually pass faster.

Sadly, there were no fast travel options, which would make things a lot easier here. I needed to walk to the destination.

No car would appear out of thin air, nor would a random portal pop up to bring me to the promised land of people wearing clothes.

Nope, my own 2 feet had to carry me towards that destination.

What an exciting journey; with so much to see…look at the green grass. Look at how green it was. Was it not much greener than all the other grass that looked just like it?

Who could have seen it coming, what did I find to my left? It was more grass; it was the greenest grass I had ever seen. Sooo much green grass, how awesome to see so many new things.

Oh, what do we have here? It was my crippling depression and even more grass. This was the most fun a human could have.

I was literally doing nothing but walking forward─ how should I make it exciting to read for other people? Everyone wanted to read about fun stuff… yet nobody sane wanted to learn more about a dude walking for hours.

We all wanted High-octane action. We all wanted the stories full of SFX sound effects.

Everybody wanted to chase these highs without putting any effort in. One can not expect the world to be saved without the hero going through one or two training montages.

These things were not stimulating enough. They were too one dimensional.

"Boooooring", would they scream. "Where is the action" they would cry foul when their favourite brainless MC was busy scratching his ballsacks again.

These loveable readers needed to understand that a story could not be non-stop action.

I was really trying to give readers the benefit of the doubt. They might be young or just incredibly fucking stupid.

Apparently, it only ended in even more brain damage. The path of idiocracy led them down this long road.

Speaking of path, did you know… I was still walking north to find that God Damn City?

The city was nowhere to be seen, similarly was the consideration for the author by these readers.

Okay, one had to admit... they did in a sense. Because these authors wrote the stuff these people could insert themselves into. "This writer "SmutMaster101" has a really good writing style that speaks to my heart"

These goblins needed nothing more in life than smut to be happy.

They reminded me of these rats from 1950 that got hooked up to a button that gave them an orgasm when clicked by them. There was another one for food, which unsurprisingly went unused.

They literally pressed one button and then starved. Your typical WN-reader was not much different to them.

Which brought me to my main point, everyone just wanted the moments of "fun" when they literally forgot about anything else that kept them alive.

You needed to drink and eat; sleep and social contacts were required as well.

And for this story of mine; It meant that I had to walk to my goal without anyone bitching into my ear that the story was boring.

[Though fam, it do be lame as hell.]

You, shut it. I ain't here to play the clown, so people think to themselves at least I was not in his shoes.

The only real aim I had was for my readers to laugh and maybe, just a teeny tiny bit, use that brain of theirs to see the points I was trying to make. One might know that hope famously died last and I had not given up on finding intelligent life on the WN site…

To give an update to my dear readers, the few that still had not skipped to the next chapter to check if something had happened, I was coming closer and closer to the city.

At this speed, I might be able to reach it in a matter of years.

SOOOOO, you will be able to enjoy hearing me rant for quite a while.

WAIT, before you drop this story, do know this… this was way more boring for me than it was for you. Remember, all I was doing right now was putting one foot in front of the other and moving my sweet buttocks north. That was it.

So much Tension, so much WOW.

Not even any naked maniacs could currently be seen or heard. There was only one thing to be found… everyone's favourite thing

Green grass.

Yup, the joke was back again, deal with it.

Or could I interest anyone to hear me rant about my willy flopping wildly in the wind because I was currently not wearing any clothes?

No? How come, I thought you people loved reading about it? The System has never told me about people complaining about having to read that much about the movement of peckers.

Ah, my mistake; the only person to leave comments on my story was the bot I had set up for myself. How silly of me.

Imagine people actually reading the story at this point… could not be me. I only read stories with reviews full of emojis. Because they were very trustworthy people…

Look here, this one told me to put my bank info down to see something funny. Oh noes, now my whole money was gone. Cue the laugh track, so people know it was time to laugh.

Wanna know about something even more funny?

How truly funny was it that the place I have been walking to, was still nowhere to be seen?

That's what this loser here got, to think I would still walk in this day of age.

Most modern MCs had the power of time-skip on their sides, but no I actually needed to walk to get stuff done. Was that not something others needed to laugh about?

Now everyone: "On Three we all laugh about this" 1 2 3 Done with it? Good.

HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA HAHAHAHA... now was not the funniest thing?

Done with it? Good.

Listen up, those that persisted with me till the bitter end I had some exciting news.

At the horizon, you could see an otherworldly existence. Yes, beyond the horizon there was even more green grass. Were that not earth-shattering news?

PURE EXCITEMENT RIGHT THERE.

Who could have seen such a shocking plot twist coming? Literally anyone you say? To this rude remark, I say literally nothing at all, because you were absolutely right.

This was so fun, fun, so much fun, fun.

I could think about nothing more fascinating than seeing all these green things. Maybe anything else, but we do not wanna ruin the good mood, right?

Maybe just kill me on the spot for a change, did that idea not sound like it would be a great thing to do?

Instead of all this walking, you might as well walk me directly into the deepest pit of hell. I bet nothing would change at all.

END MY SUFFERING…Or BRING ME TO THE CITY.

Just do something.