Dear Reader(s), we gotta talk

Hello guys, it must have been one chapter if not more since the last time I talked to each and every one of you. Insert joke about not having more than 2 readers anyways...I have seen the reader statistics, ya know?

Normally, the trip should have long been over by now. Some fakeouts here and there would have kept the audience at the edge of their seat, but after an epic showdown, this setting was supposed to be finished.

Emphasis on the "supposed to" part there.

The few people or some random archaeologists that would stumble onto this story millennia later, must have realized by now that such a thing clearly did not happen.

Instead, we all had those very fun and innovative ideas, which should never have been in the story to start with. Yet, for some reason, the story just had to go off the rails and incorporate such wacky ideas.

A chapter without the letter n could be considered something funny...once in a while.

There were just way too many useless bits with some sort of weird twist to them, that one actually had to search for the god damn story in all of this mess. Let me know if you found it by the end of the week.

Let's not beat around the bush as many teenagers often did. I shall talk about the reason, which led to me talking to you guys directly─seriously for once.

Just take a look at what a "reader" of mine left behind beneath the latest chapter.

"Here is a PS. Make a chapter entirely from rhymes. A chapter about how good of a reader I am to you."

I could fill an entire chapter just with the issues this simple request has. First of all, and let me get this straight, I am The Guy here. The main character, the protagonist, the dude in the spotlight─that was me.

Soo, asking to have an entire chapter about yourself, full of praise, was more than a bit selfish. I was all for loving/believing in yourself, but darn you are taking things a tad too far.

These comments were supposed to be a fun way to add small ideas from the crowd to the story. A fun interaction between the author currently still playing the idle game and the reader, who still kept on reading this mess...yup, I should have seen it coming that someone would make it hella weird.

It was not even the content of the request. Writing in rhymes was a good concept─had it not been done so many chapters ago.

Besides from rhymes? Every word is now from a fictional land called Rhymes, therefore this part of the request has been fulfilled. Was this not what you wanted?

That's why one should be really careful in regards to how you phrase your wishes because if the idea was really fricking dumb, I would interpret it however I deem it fit. If that meant, I had to invent a whole imaginary country, then I would found said imaginary country.

For anyone that might disagree with my outlook on things, feel free to leave a heartfelt comment beneath this chapter.

Thankfully, I also could delete those as soon as they appeared. Who knew, what kind fo qualified brain farts the reader of this novel would be able to produce?

Well, they could hardly be as bad as the ones you'd usually find beneath a smut novel.

My readers might not have a great taste in novels, at the very least, they were not as dumb as a harem specimen. By the way, this was not an exaggeration, no, I actually read a few of those and wonder how some could even breathe on their own.

Of course, the research was done by my thirteen-year-old self... for reasons, I did not have to specify.

But even my cave-troll version from back then was appalled by the inhabitants of such stories. For a moment, my celibacy did not seem that bad anymore. For I started to see the light; all I had to do was not behave like them and a harem would automatically come to me.

It changed nothing. Well, compared to them I could call myself a decent human being. Certainly, there were worse things in life.

Trapped inside my own dropped novels─being one of them.

In here I gotta deal with all sorts of weird things that a certain selfish person made. Fine, I rhyme, act as mime, while I dine, lick me where the sun don't shine. Good, even those words are from the country of rhyme.

We gotta keep up with the request!

While this topic had come up again, shall we talk about the second part of the request? After all, the story was already indirectly about that person, which shall not be named directly today.

And thus, let us see the request once more.

"Here is a PS. Make a chapter entirely from rhymes. A chapter about how good of a reader I am to you."

The part the good reader had certainly not been tackled yet. Therefore, let me show you how much "good" the person has brought to this story, and how "good" the reader truly was. Because "good" was highly subjective...

You see, thanks to his "good" ideas nobody had any idea of what the story was still about. Not even me the author knew what the hell was awaiting me. Now, now,now was it really fair to blame everything on these weird wishes?

Yes, it was.

I had finally found a scapegoat─by no means, would I let this chance go to waste. Of course, this author here said no to cyberbullying... find him directly and beat him up.

That would show this mysterious person just how much we value that sort of intel.

"We" referred to the other reader of mine. Whether or not they do exist remained a mystery. Things would have been much easier if they would comment on this story. Maybe, these reader statistics were just lying to me.

The other crazy dude reading the story could also be my fleshy body, just mindless staring at the chapters all day long. That much would certainly explain as to why my account was sending powerstones to this novel.

Explain might be the wrong word to use here, cuz I had no idea how the hell that would even work. Though, this place did not run on logic, so why should the real world suddenly make more sense?

I was at the mercy of three systems and playing an idle game, where I was investing into a copyright-breaking monster that just so happened to be my fused clones as it would soon fight a sentient Ancient Evil trapped inside of a mop.

Yup, if there was any logic to be found here, then it was deeply hidden.

And I had no interest in playing Hide and Seek with a story created by me. That was not to say that there was much choice in said affair. You see, my body was still actively dissolved in stomach acid.

Which, mind you, was not an activity one could call pleasant to the skin. All the while, my clone was having a mukbang with rat corpses. Yeah, if there was a choice here; then, do enlighten me where the hell it was.

Woop di du, everything was "good" for the story, yes it truly was "good" for the story. Well, was that not great?

But I have other "great" news, give them a listen:

I have said it once and I would probably have to say it a million times: This story was not getting the 1000 dollars or an anime adaptation. You see, there was not enough cocaine in this world to create an anime version of this whole thing.

Thank you for coming to my presentation and I do hope you would give me better requests in the future.

Sincerely,

the desperate Author.