Rebirth, a baby and a story that never ends.

Well, well, well how the turn tables. Pardon, how the tables turn. At first, nothing was wrong and I was happy that the main story would begin soon. Only to realize that such a thing would never come to happen unless the world came to an end.

Seriously, think about how many chapters it has been; yet there was not one bit of plot progression in sight. One could come to think that the author of this story had no idea what he wanted to write about.

Sadly, the author was me, and the systems were in charge of the story-telling. Though it was up to debate exactly what kind of "story" they had been trying to tell up until now.

Not trying to be mean or anything; I simply could not understand what kind of narrative they were trying to draw here.

There had to be some kind of plan, right?

If the answer to that question was no, then just don't say anything. I would rather believe that there was some big, elusive goal they were aiming for.

World domination or the betterment of humankind─something grand. Please, let the rats, the sentient Wishmoppu and the Beeg Psycho have some sort of purpose.

Just give me a reason to endure all the weirdness I was surrounded by.

Should I have to press this one gosh-darn button and watch these stupid ads much, much longer...I swear things were gonna turn ugly really soon. This was not a threat; it was a promise.

And remember I might break your bones; but not my promises.

However, I had a feeling, the oh-so-funny feeling that something was about to happen. Now, before you get your hopes up and start to furiously masturbate at the prospect of seeing the next setting, just know that nothing could had ever come out of such a situation.

As tradition dictated, it would be something really bad, which would make the already messed-up situation much worse.

Oh and there it was, another notification popped up in front of my eyes.

[Level-cap has been reached. In order to progress to a higher level host has to reset his progress and use the Rebirth function. Once the progress has been reset a gold bonus of 100% has been gained. (Per Rebirth Stack a total increase of 100% ) ]

Yes, of course, the rebirth function─how could I have forgotten about this masterpiece of game design?

Lemme take a wild guess here, in order to beat Wishmoppu I would have to use the rebirth function quite a few times. "System for Dummies" now with 1000+ hours of content; buy now!!! That's one way to prevent the story from ever moving forward.

Welp, not like I had any other choice than pressing the big, bright red button that said "CLICK HERE FOR REBIRTH" in all caps.

With one swift movement of my trained fingers, my fate, for many hours to come, was sealed.

Countless ads and plenty of timeskip scrolls awaited me and my future self. Everyone would certainly love to know much more about what idiotic advertisements they throw at me next.

To add even more insult to injury another change to place─a change I did not like one bit. These motherlovers turned my small "Beeg Psycho" into a freaking baby. That's what a hard reset of progress looked like... a little shitter.

Yes, our dear Psycho had now become an all-consuming, rat-destroying little bastard. Although our dear glutton seemingly did not get the memo of the rebirth function as he was still eating as fast as his little hands allowed him to.

It would have looked really cute and sweet, if not for the audible sound of bones cracking as these monsters were shoved down into his throat.

Don't know about you guys, but I lost any appetite whatsoever.

Nothing that watching a few more ads could not solve, was I not right? And so I did, as I had usually done. Turned off my brian, clicked on level up-buttons and wished for the sweet release of death. Some distant day the Reaper truly might claim my soul; some day he truly might.

Not to make this any more depressing than it already was, let me tell you, readers, some good news. Those would definitely cheer you up.

Every ad I watched, indirectly meant that I had one less ad to watch.

Positive thinking was the key to surviving this ultimate test of patience and bad game design. That and lots of powerstones, which my few fans have to hand over to me...unless they want this story to never end.

Admit it, you guys just want to see me suffer. Tsk, Tsk, Tsk. You silly people. you... the comment section was to make me suffer, not the boredom of having to watch ends till the end of time.

Where would be the fun in nothing ever happening? There were only so few things I had left to rant about. Without you guys' stupid ideas as a backup, this novel would have long been doomed. This novel thrived on stupidity, I felt so thankful for all of your missing brain cells!!

So, clap yourself on the back and thank your Mom for smoking crack during her pregnancy.

You earned it.

Good, to sum it up, since none of you guys would bother to type a comment otherwise...you type stuff─you get featured in this story. You type no stuff─you get featured in this story. You existed for my story.

Some might think they have a Real Life like all of these normies do, but no normie would ever read this story. Normal people did not read about the gigantic, sentient mop and think to themselves: "Huh, how interesting. Let me read more"

All of you were weird, but so was I. Here, we could all be weird together. We were one big family of absolute morons.

And you all, without any doubt whatsoever, regardless of which nation, ethnicity, political leaning, gender, job, or sexual orientation you might have, you all needed therapy.

Else, I could be given an anime adaption for my brilliant story, but a group therapy session seemed far more likely and affordable. Nobody in the right mind would throw prize money at this thing. If you do consider showering me with money, then by my guest.

Literally, come to my house, be my guest, and hand over all that juicy cash.

You could go after you shared all that wealth with me. Look, we aren't friends just because you gave me a thousand dollars. We were best friends as long as you could give me thousands of dollars.

This was now the point in the story, where I would promise that the story would totally continue in the next chapter. Which was as everyone should have realized a total lie. The chapters with plot progression were always called something akin to "Click here to skip the boring scene"

With the title being something different, it should have been more than clear. Expecting anything to occur when not even the basic requirements were met was stupidity at its finest.

Come on, it ain't rocket science.

Cuz if it was rocket science, I would have zoomed to the stars with one of them and kissed this setting goodbye.

Arguably, my sweet succulent buttocks were still very down to earth. And who knew maybe Uniporn, the unicorn was waiting in space for me?

Therefore, I would have to find a rocket...in the next chapter!!!