The playset of lost love

As I stop and look at the playset I can feel a feeling, a feeling I hadn't known existed, guilt, shame, it all spiraled down as the room echoed my thoughts. There was no way to run, no way to move out, I moved closer to the playsets. My mind and legs get numb almost as if the soul is getting taken away from them, I gather hold of myself and look at this room around. Filled with bright colors, depicting joy but not portraying it, no children to make the room alive, it was all dead almost buried from light. The farther the eyes see the more the mind loses its state of thinking. As I sit down and think over and over about what had led me to this point, I go over my life as if a book were to be open. All I could find was an empty page. I couldn't remember anything, I look forward at the swings, no wind to lift them, no one to sit on and bring the place joy. I move closer and closer to the swing and sit in its grasp, my thoughts clung to nothingness but the feeling of joy did ponder the mind with every push. Every push of the leg lifted the swing higher and higher. Joy was not the word as it all felt empty. I never knew what joy was, I thought it had been a concept we made to give meaning to life.

A concept to bring meaning to keep continuing to move more and more, the meaning that was to continue. No matter what had come no matter what had happened, even if no one in the world were to care, we still had to move forward. One flash of an image fazes through my mind, an image of a child lost in a playroom, with no one to give it comfort. It was stuck with those that he hadn't known. It blinked through my mind as this child was stuck in the forest of thoughts in my brain. I could not make out the face but he felt close, almost as if I knew him.

I got off the swing as I realized there was work for me to be doing instead of being here thinking of children. There was a room in front of me, a bright yellow room.

I walk through the carpet so snug and fuzzy, I move through to reach the door, the cold stern feeling of the sturdy door handle. I twist and look one last time at that playset, still having an eerie feeling of nothingness. I look forward and see a cradle, filled with star-shaped stickers glowing and glimmering. The darkroom is made light by the stars surrounding it. Every step I took, a feeling of guilt came present, step by step, looking at the stars along the way.

I see a bottle empty of milk, it seemed to be spilled, I look at the cradle and realize no baby was there laying asleep. It was empty, no baby there but a blanket and a pillow. As I put the bottle in the cradle realizing the only way to move was through. I take a step and hearing the echo of my presence, I move closer to see a work table. The chair was twisted, almost wanting to have someone sit within it. I take a step forward sit down and look at the table in front of me with a book and pen to accompany it. Opening the book and rifling through the empty pages, making wind come to life, as I let my mind breathe. A feeling of fulfillment comes to the heart. I feel satisfied being in the seat, even if there was nothing for me to do, I still had felt that sitting, and working, that was the meaning to my life.

I look back and see the cradle being removed, I get up to move in close and realize it is being taken away, but the closer I get the more the cradle comes back again.

It was like my vision getting blurry with each step, as the cradle swung, the more it came back. I come to a full stop and realize that it was not a cradle, but a casket. It looked small in size, I assumed it was a baby's casket. I look into the window of the tiny casket and realize no one was inside. A tear came from my right eye, I did not know why, I hadn't known what it meant. As I look back to the table and realize it is removed, I move and run back but there was nothing, the only thing standing was a door right upfront. A red door with a golden badge and the number 42 engraved onto it. The only way to go was through, as I take a step and unlock the door and walk through, each step closing in the walls around me and I look forward. I see a restaurant, all red with its furniture. There was a table with flowers decorated, a golden ring glimmered too. I focus my vision and see someone sitting.

I run in closer and closer, I feel my breath getting heavier and heavier and I realize that it hadn't been a person but a statue. No face, nothing to give it life, but it portrayed what was living. The only thing that was alive and existing was me and the bright white daisies.