Diary Entry 39

A few days away from our destination, the shrinking potion I had used on Chan Lee finally wore off to my immense relief. I don't know why but for some inexplicable reason, the entire time he was shrunken, his voice was high pitched and squeaky. Add to the fact that he kept trying to get me to compete with him in the Athlitikós Agónas despite my repeated explanations that I was going in order to report on the games not enter, I was really wishing I had stocked up on what I needed to cast a few dozen more "QUIET!" spells. While trying to ignore him while sitting on the back of a turnip wagon, I thought I might as well provide some background information on the Athlitikós Agónas.

The centaurs of Avis-Poulí are known for their love of sports, in fact they invented the Athlitikós Agónas which is always hosted in their city-state, Ippodromía. Officials selected for the games are also always chosen from centaurs residing in the city-state. Outsiders always think that this is unfair for non-centaurs but veterans of the games wouldn't have it any other way. You see these centaurs have a huge pet peeves about two things, unbalanced competitions and people who play dirty. As such they go to great strides to make sure the Athlitikós Agónas is fair and balanced enough that any athlete is able to display their skills to a satisfactory level and that every competitor exhibits good sportsmanship.

•••

To reach Ippodromía from the direction we were going, we would have to cross a river by the name of Potamós ton Alógon (also known as the Potamós Cerulean) by way of the Ponte Pugilum or Bridge of Champions. So arriving at the bridge to find a large crowd didn't bode an easy crossing. Chan Lee and I hopped off the cart and walked over to the crowd. Curious as to what was going on I asked the young satyr in front of me

"What's going on? Was there an accident on the bridge or something?"

"It's those Elm-Druids, they are having recruitment examinations on the bridge," he replied.

"And this is a problem because?"

"They are only letting entrants through, and I heard that even then, only those who pass all of their tests are allowed on the other side. All of us here are athletes and civilian spectators, not adventurers."

Since neither one of us had time to put up with this ridiculous nonsense, Chan Lee and I moved through the crowd of people until we came to the foot of the bridge. One of the Elm-Druids had conjured a large, arboreal gate blocking people from crossing. As we approached, an Elm-Druid with a strange hairstyle (how does someone get their hair to look like cattle horns, and super long ones at that) peered over from the top of the gate.

"To get past me, you must prove the power of your magic in my trial of gates-" At this point, Chan Lee noticed a little gatehouse near us. He walked over to it, knocked on the window shutters, and started talking to the guard that answered. The next thing either the Elm-Druid or I know, the big gate opens and Chan Lee beckons to me to follow him through. As I passed through, I may or may not have cast a few dozen fiery darts cantrips which may or may not completely incinerated the conjured gate but the Elm-Druid was certainly stupid to conjure up the gate using spruce as a base. The wood is highly flammable, luckily the bridge is made of stone or else things would have gone very badly.

As we traveled further along the bridge, I saw another Elm-Druid, this one was a curvy long-haired brunette with glasses messing around with bubbles. It looked like our next opponent was a bubble wizard. Apparently the bubble wizard had noticed us as they suddenly stopped playing with their bubbles. "If you want to advance, all you have to do is pop each bubble in my Trial of Bubbles... with one shot..." they were saying as I blasted the field of bubbles with a chain of lightning. As he walked past, Chan Lee pushed the bubble wizard off the bridge, I looked over the edge and watched them float down the river unharmed.

Looking down the bridge past where the bubbles had been, we spotted what appeared to be a giant shimmering cobweb between the pillars of the bridge. As we came closer to the web, an Elm-Druid balancing on a few strands of turned out to be some really thin string. He turned around to look at us and I noticed he had a thin black moustache and was wearing some sort of eyewear, but then he was a few feet above us so I can't be completely sure.

"In order to pass my Trial of Strings, you are going to have to be agile and flexible or else this is as far as you go-OW!" the Elm-Druid was saying as he cut himself on one of his strings which upon closer examination, turned out to be razor sharp wire. While I was trying to figure out how to get pass this mess of wires, I noticed that Chan Lee just pulled out a metal pole and whacked them like they were piles of brush, so I followed him while occasionally dodging snapped wires that whizzed by. Oh, the Elm-Druid responsible for this mess somehow got himself strapped to one of the pillars when he tried to stop Chan Lee.

After we got clear of that hazard, Chan Lee stopped and pointed at lone figure, which turned out to be an Elm-Druid with a snazzy black goatee, "He looks tough, want to flip a coin to decide who gets to fight him?" Before I could tell Chan Lee that he go ahead and deal with this, to my annoyance, the Elm-Druid spoke first.

"Allow me to test your defensive skills in my Trial of Iron..." was all he was able to say before he was sent flying when my stone pillar spell struck his jaw. I hate it when people butt into other people's conversations.

The next Elm-Druid blocking our path had turned a section of the bridge into a swamp, not a bad piece of magic actually. The Elm-Druid examiner responsible had a really weird, I guess you could say wild hairdo.

"To continue your examination, you must show your knowledge of terrain as you navigate my Trial of the Swamp" he informed us.

This turned out to be rather easy (if smelly) challenge because Chan Lee apparently has been exploring swamps since he could walk. I will admit that I was flabbergasted that Chan Lee adhered to this stereotype about Lizardmen, but I wasn't complaining. Well... maybe I was, as his solution was to swim through the swamp while towing me with a rope. Why couldn't this "Trial" have been before our encounter with the bubble wizard, now I was covered in who knows what from being pulled through that swamp. In the name of petty vengeance, I used my magic on a tree that was near the Elm-Druid and had it smack him off the bridge with its branch. Thankfully we managed to get clear of the swamp before it disappeared after I knocked the caster (that crazy haired Elm-Druid) off the bridge.

Our next opponent was an Elm-Druid with rodent-like whiskers surrounded by a black cloud of some type of fly monster. With creepy look on his face he started talking.

"Let's see if you are fast enough to reach the other side before my Dream Flies bite you in my Trial of- My darlings!" Yeah, instead of letting him finish, I just launched a barrage of fireballs and burned all the annoying insects to ash. What can I say, I was in a bad mood that seemed to be getting worse.

We were almost to the end of the bridge when the last Elm-Druid came into view blocking our passage with a crazy assortment of traps that might have given my friend Springer a workout. This guy had a little bit of eyeliner or something and a smirk that you just wanted to wipe off his face as brutally as possible. He sounded a little ticked off as he started ranting at us.

"You two have ruined Operation Cerulean! Unfortunately for you, your journey ends here as I doubt that either of you have the resourcefulness to pass my trial of traps-" Unfortunately for him, he didn't notice me using a little spell to cause him slip and fall forward. What happened next prompted Chan Lee to grab a blank Viewing Crystal out of his bag.

First the Elm-Druid fell into a few bear traps. Next he crashed into a tripwire that triggered a device that shot darts at him. As he jumped into the air clutching his now-pincushioned bottom, he seemed to have set off another device that snagged him in a net. The net was apparently fireproof because in his struggling to escape it, the Elm-Druid buffoon pressed something which caused a mini magic turret to appear and set him on fire. We had just finished popping up some popcorn when the pitiful Elm-Druid fell victim to his last trap, a beehive launcher. In a weak voice, he said, "I'm glad... I didn't plant... the lethal ones..." before he fainted.