First of Jesse II

"How is it?" Matthew asked me when we reached my apartment.

I glared at him but it doesn't have any effect on him. He just laughed at me and he sits on one of my sofa, here in the living room.

"You didn't tell me!" I throw a pillow at him and he catches it and hugs it.

"That is my surprise to you! After a decade you see each other again" he said like a proud kid.

"It's not good you know?" I whispered.

"Huh? It is Oliver right, why aren't you happy?" he asked me.

Yeah, Matthew didn't have any clue why I am not happy to see him. Then I'll just act that I am shocked and surprised and I am shy for him to not worry anymore. I'll just act as if nothing happened and I will just do it for work.

"Of course I was shocked! I didn't expect that" I explained to Matthew with a super over-dramatic reaction.

"Shouldn't you suppose to thank me?" he teased me. He really is annoying.

"Thank you for what?" I asked, of course I know what is he pointing of but I just want to play around.

"Come on, aren't you grateful to me?" I want to tell him that this is the biggest mistake he ever made in my life so I was not grateful.

"Okay, okay thank you!" I throw another pillow at him laughing.

"You're welcome" he replied. With a satisfied smile on his face

He stands up and arranges the pillow on my sofa.

"I'm going now, good luck with your work!" he said then he leaves after.

I am sorry Matthew but I guess I will not enjoy this work. Oliver was the reason why I do have this fear and I blamed him, even though I know it was my fault too. Falling to the same gender as I am, but it wasn't a big deal right? Love is blind, so I also have the right to fall in love, but I cannot do it ever again. I have these kinds of feelings, feelings that I'll bear forever.

I sigh heavily and I start my work. I grab my notebook and my pen, I open the first page.

But...

WHAT THE HECK AM I GOING TO WRITE!

I don't have any idea and I don't know how to start? What the heck is happening in my brain and it stopped processing ideas?

But I think if I watch some romantic movie then maybe I'll get an idea will I write. So I went to my room and rummaged through my cd collections.

"Shit, I have too many Sci-fi and fantasy movie here" I mutter to myself.

I am still searching for a romantic movie. I am losing my hope when I realize that I have my phone and I can search for whatever I wanted on the internet. Geez, I almost forgot about the innovation of the world.

I go to YT and I typed "Romantic Movie" because I can't recall any movie I've watched before.

I saw the results and I scroll and I am looking for a really heart-touching movie, I want an inspiration that really makes me feel loved. Feel loved? Do I ever feel it? Anyway, a movie caught my attention because there was written in the thumbnail. It says "most heart touching movie I've ever watched". So I clicked it.

The movie started with a girl inside her room and watching a guy from the outside of her window. I think she has a crush on that guy but why she didn't come out of her room and talk to him. I continue to watch and it's kind of boring but I'll finish watching this.

Suddenly my phone rang and I saw an unregistered number is calling me. I picked it up anyways.

"Hello?" I answered the call.

"Is this Mr. Red Wright?" the caller said.

I was stunned for a moment when I heard his voice because it was Oliver. How did he know my—yeah, probably because of Matthew? I immediately stand up.

"Yes, speaking" I replied.

"I just want to ask if you are started writing," he asked in a monotone voice but politely.

"Actually, I haven't" I honestly answered. Please end the call. I was walking back and forth here at my small living room.

"Please do start writing now because we have already decided that your work Mr. Wright will enter a competition that will happen in 3 weeks from now" Say what? I stop walking, a competition?

"What! But it was only my first time publishing my story at your corp. and you decided to enter it in a competition without consulting me?" I shouted at him. It wasn't my intention to shout but I was surprised by the sudden news.

"Yeah we are aware of that but the president has been liking your story at your files." He explained. What files?

"Who gives that to you?" I was confused because I am the only one who has that files but—wait—

"Mr. Styles gave this to us," he said.

Yeah as I thought, that stupid Matthew Styles. I greeted my teeth to control my anger. I'm gonna skin him alive when we meet again.

"Okay, I'll start working now, but I have a problem," I stated.

"What is it?" he asked but I don't feel any curiosity or worries in his voice. Maybe he was only doing this for work. What the heck is wrong with me? Why do I have to tell him?

"Don't bother I can handle it, sorry." I only answered. I just want to end the call immediately.

"Okay, have a good day Mr. Wright," he said then he ended the call.

Finally, I can breathe now. I feel suffocated when I was talking to him, but I feel weird too. I don't know if you can understand it but

I am a little happy and I feel the urge to cry but what is my reason to feel that way? Do I miss him?

DARN IT! NO WAY! I was furiously shaking my head now. If you can see me you'll say that I am a psychopath. I don't know what to do now that I heard his voice again.

I just need to calm down and think about what to do with his number. Do I have to save his number? Or blocked it? But he is my editor and I need to have communication with him.

Communication

The thing we used to have before, full of smiles and happiness. Now it was a plain communication with an editor and writer.

SHIT!!! Erase! Erase! Erase! Darn it! Why do I have this kind of random thoughts? I should think about what I will write.

But, all I want is to be distant from him. I don't want to have the same feelings I have before because I know it was unacceptable, this is my reason for running away. The unrequited love and I don't have any right to receive love from anyone.

Now I don't have to watch a romantic movie. I already have an idea of what to write.

And I will write a tragic story.

Trivia: the movie that Jesse found in YT is the Movie "Midnight Sun" and Jesse saved Oliver's Phone number.