I wish I could

Xyra's viewpoint

"Since you see things my way, then it's best we stay away from each other," I didn't know when I turned around with wide eyes.

"You can't take me seriously, I was bluffing! I was bluffing!" I shouted, throwing my hands up.

"You don't want a mate…"

"Yes, but I changed my mind few hours ago. You can't send me away when I'm already loving the feeling of being with you, you can't!" I cried out helplessly. The voidness in his eyes, the blank expression on his face, the calm posture of his body and steady heartbeat. He meant every single word.

"I'm sorry, Xyra, but it has to be this way. I can't let any woman weaken me, especially a child."

_____

A whimper left my lips the moment he said that. "I'm sorry if it would hurt you, but you will have to manage it and move on. I'm sorry, but I am just not ready for the drama of a mate or a woman. I will compensate your father for the humiliation and I will pay you anything you ask for…" His lips kept moving but I seize to listen. I wasn't heartbroken, I didn't even know the guy.

What was hurting me was him calling me a child, rejecting a beauty like me and thrusting a blade at my ego, our ego. I admit that I shared Majesty's pride at some level, and that moment was one of it. I wanted to blame myself for it, because of how I reacted at the ball. But Majesty told me he would have called me a child either way. The age didn't matter for our kind, but it mattered to him. It struck me like a big blow. And above all, I was hurting because his words were like rejection and the mate bond was making it hurt.

I only knew I was crying when a sob left my mouth, another reason to wound my pride. He sighed sadly but didn't even make any attempt to console me.

"I'm sorry, forgive me."

"Fuck you!" A vase at the glass wall of the French window rose up at my scream and flew straight to his head. The vase smashed on him, but he didn't even flinch. If anything, he was surprise I had that kind of power.

"What kind of wolf are you?"

"None of your fucking business, you animalistic bastard! Get lost!" I psychokinetically forced him backward, tossing him into the curtains of doom. I turned on my heels and ran out of the room, just running and letting my feet lead me. I found myself in my parents' shared room.

"Xyra? Why are you crying?" Dad asked agitatedly.

"The arsehole told me to leave, that he doesn't want a mate, especially a child. He told me to move on, even if it would hurt. The bastard threw me away!"

"Oh, my baby, I'm so sorry," mum said shakily. They both came to me and engulfed me in a hug. I sniffed back the remaining of my tears, held back the pain tugging at my consciousness. I should probably mention I tried to kill him, but that would be better left unsaid.

"Tell me you at least kneed him," dad growled, "that motherfucking prick,"

On second thought…

"I tried to kill him, but I know he survived it,"

"That's my girl," mum whispered, "how's Majesty doing?"

"Hurt, humiliated, betrayed, rejected, depressed,"

"Do you want to go home?" I nodded. "I'll send the link to the others and have them ready to leave,"

"Thanks, dad," Majesty howled in sorrow, it was hurting and angering her more. After lowering ourselves to appreciate him, and he hurt us; our pride. I'll definitely make him pay.

Zephyr's viewpoint

I pushed the door open to our room, fuming as I walked in. Moira was packing our things. Of course I got the message from Xyra and it angered me. How dare that fucker hurt my best friend! Reject her! Xyra's ego was bruised… No, wounded. Whether it was her ego or not, it was still going to hurt her because they were mates.

"Where is she?"

"She was going to shift midway through screaming about how much of a dick he is, so April took her out to calm Majesty before she actually shifts. I've never seen Xyra like this before. She's angry because that's the only thing she can project. Inside, it is hurting more than her pride, but she won't admit it."

"Lycans make me sick," I spat venomously.

"Yeah, you got drunk last night and he took you away?" She asked unsurely.

"And fucking gave me the best fuck of my life. I'm not complaining, the sex was good, crazy, mind-blowing, but wrong. I was drunk, not in my right state of mind but yet he did what he did. I am in my freaking period for Christ sake! What was he thinking! And to make it worse, he marked me. That idiot marked me!"

"I'm sorry," she said sadly.

"I wanted to have to decide, to know him better before he claimed me. Now I'm stuck with him for the rest of my life… Oh," I smirked, "at least that is what he thinks. He has no idea how powerful I am. This thing," I tapped the new mark on my neck, "will disappear along with his scent."

"You want to shift skin?" She asked with wide eyes. I had amazing powers, but they were tucked into my semi-immortal body, my true body. I don't know how to explain it, but the ladies did it so they could keep me at bay. I learnt how to swift to my true form a long time ago, but I didn't do it because I didn't know the result. The consequences of pulling it off was every single thing dying along with my old body, excluding my emotions and memories. I was afraid of the other me.

"Fucking yes, I will once I'm out of here."

"Okay…" Xyra burst into the room with April hot on her trail.

"I need to get out of here! Zephyr, get me out before I lose my mind!"

"Your parents…"

"Will come at their speed. April would stay back and explain to them. I need to leave, I need to shift. Please!" She begged desperately.

"Okay, let's go. I've got the bags ready," Moira said as she carried our bags to the centre of the room. Once our bags was checked, we made a circle by holding hands and trapping them in it. I pictured the boundary of our pack, moved way pass it and channelled my energy into the image. Once the image was charged enough, we drifted through time and space before appearing there.

Moira caught me before I fell. Another reason to transform so I wouldn't always have to feel nauseous after using my powers. The cracking of bones and heavy paws flowed into my ears. Majesty was out and very pissed.

"Moira, take me home if I die from the shift, this would probably make him collapse or weak but he won't lose his mind. It'll be over in three days."

Carswell's viewpoint

"You did what!" The elders screamed in unison after I delivered the news to them. I rolled my eyes.

"I told her to leave," I repeated calmly.

"What the fuck! Why did you do that?" Caesar shouted. I looked at him over my shoulder, glaring at him to shut up. He pressed his lips together, but his eyes still flashed with anger. I understood he was mad, who wouldn't be?

Many lycan wish for their erasthasis, they pray every time to the moon goddess to make them be one of the few who actually gets one. Caesar and Zane had always wanted one, always dreamt of having one. So me finding mine and telling her to leave was not a good thing.

Saying those words to her was the hardest thing I had ever done, the most difficult shit I'd ever spat out. I didn't want her to leave, but she had to. If she was older, maybe I would have considered, but I doubt I would. A mate was a danger to my sanity. If any of my rising foe get their hands on her, I was as good as dead. The bond almost ripped my heart in two while I tried my best to speak like it didn't affect me, especially when the tears left the prison of her eyes. I wanted to hold her, hug her and assure her that I didn't mean it. But I couldn't, because I did.

I am not supposed to get an erasthasis.

My lycan had gone silent after clawing at my mind and raging with no means of coming out. I had full control over him and my emotions, years of practice. I didn't like hurting him, but it was for the best. Curiosity almost made me hold her, to find out what she is, why she had telekinetic ability and probably psychokinesis too. But again, I couldn't, I couldn't because the moment I know even a thing about her, I would never let her go.

Everything was for the best.

"Wells, I know you are afraid she would get killed and end up killing you too, but you can't send her off. What would your people say? How would you explain that the goddess gave you a mate and you, the king, her born king, rejected her. Isn't that spitting on her face? Isn't that showing them that you are as disrespectful as the other fools out there rejecting their own mates? Wouldn't that mean you are encouraging them to continue? Carswell, think about what you are doing!" Francis shouted.

"And for Pete sake! She will still get hurt either way. You fucking found her at your birthday ball, words would spread quick and your enemies would go after her either way!" Caesar shouted angrily.

"She can protect herself,"

"Better with you! Better with you!" Elder Swan shouted too.

"Look, my decision is final. You will not question me, not argue with my decision because this is what I want." I ordered them. They all kept their mouths shut, following the command. I turned around to face a fuming Caesar, his eyes black from trying to control his rage.

"I'm sorry, Caesar, this is my life,"

"And have you thought about how this would affect her? The kind of pain she would go through? Did you even think about what this would do to her father's image? To hers? The alpha female who was rejected by her mate because she wasn't good enough? The kind of tag it would give to them?!" He growled, fighting his body to break the command and yell at me. He was my friend as he was my beta, so he had the right to try to scream some sense into me. Appreciated, but not needed.

"Stand down, Caesar, stand down." I commanded again. A painful groan left his mouth before he stepped back and bowed his head. I didn't like using my command on them, but it was best to.

The doors opened and Alpha Kristofferson stepped in. That was the most angry face I'd seen so far. He bowed a little and grumbled a greeting to me.

"Alpha Kristofferson, good morning. I'm guessing you are here to talk about your daughter?"

"No need, I only came here to tell you that I'm leaving. Thank you for your hospitality and the absolutely wonderful way of sending us off," he said sarcastically, a strong grimace on his face. I would have growled at his disrespect, but I knew I deserve it. Even my own lycan wasn't looking at me.

"I am sorry it had to be this way,"

"No, you are not," he spat coldly, "because if you knew what you have done, you wouldn't only be sorry. Goodbye." He turned and stomped out of the room. I sighed and walked out too, to go think.

I couldn't go to my room in my private floor, her scent was still fresh there, so, I headed to my bedroom to think. It was for the best, it was for her. She might hate me at first, but then she would realise it's for the best.

An unwanted smile made it way to my lips as I remembered how she reacted when I said she should leave. If it wasn't for the seriousness of the situation, I would have laughed. Xyra was amusing to watch. I knew she would bring joy into my life if I let her, but I couldn't, I just couldn't. I was actually stunned when I felt someone touch the lycan dragon on my arm. My first instinct was to jump up and strangle the person, but then I remembered the dragon would do it himself. I only got to realise who it was when her hot gaze planted itself on my chest. I didn't move because I didn't want to embarrass her, and I loved it. At the end, she turned herself on.

She was amusing and I wished I could have kept her, but I couldn't.

"Carswell!" Caesar shouted as he burst into the room, panting heavily.

"What?" I asked, not looking away from the window.

"It's Zane! I found him out cold on his bed! He went into a coma!" I turned around with shock.

"What happened to him? Did his mate kill him?" I barked.

"No, I spoke to him after she left his room. He told me he made a mistake and she was mad at him. The idiot got her drunk, slept with and marked her. He was very sad so I told him to stay in his room. I think his lycan broke because she left him."

"She did what?" I gasped.

"She left, Carswell, she disappeared out of sight along with your mate."