9

The first time that I kissed Jade and felt like it meant something was more to prove a point. He didn't think that I would do it with any meaning behind it. I said that I would. I just hadn't felt anything more for him until then, and of all the stupid things, this entire scenario got started over a simple outing late one afternoon.

It was a warm spring day, and it had been a little over two years since I'd landed in the hospital and nearly died. Needless to say, I was enjoying my new lease on life.

Since it was such a nice afternoon, Saffron had invited me to spend it outside with him. We ended up hiking in the woods for a few hours, just enjoying the nice weather and beautiful scenery. For the first time in years, I felt like I was truly alive, and it was wonderful.

We got back to the house around dusk, and Saffron headed inside to fix us some dinner. Not quite wanting to leave the serenity of the outdoors yet, I elected to stay out there on the swing and enjoy it some more.

Where we lived out in the countryside was very quiet. I could hear the birds singing in the trees, and there was the soft lap of the small waves from the river against the docks. The serenity allowed me to let my mind wander.

While it was true that I tended to prefer Saffron's company, I had felt rather upset that Jade had not been around that day. Saffron had told him that he was taking me out, but Jade had declined to go. He'd claimed that he had a few things that he needed to take care of.

I never really knew what he meant by a few things, considering this was Jade that we were talking about, but I didn't have the heart to question it either. Still, I had admitted to Saffron that it bothered me a little that he just didn't seem interested in doing a lot with me lately.

Saffron had told me that it was just the way Jade was. When he made up his mind about something, he often stuck to it no matter what. It didn't stop me from feeling a bit lonely though. But Saffron told me not to worry about it. Jade was always interested in me in the end. He was just biding his time with whatever plan that he was cooking up.

The one thing about that earlier conversation that did stick out in my mind was Saffron's statement that Jade was jealous of him. Saffron was certain that Jade was planning something to win me over. I had to admit that it would be interesting to see if he actually was. I couldn't have imagined what it could be though. He'd had everything I had to offer by then. The only thing that seemed left would be to make me somehow like him better, though I also worried that it may make the rivalry between them worse.

This rivalry had become obvious within the last few months, although it didn't help things with Jade going off like he did. With him gone, Saffron had more access to me, and I in turn went to him with my needs. This apparently got to Jade after a while, and the two had argued over it several times that I'd overheard.

Yet there wasn't much Jade could say to win such arguments either. Saffron had all of the same rights and privileges as him, and therefore had every right to do as he pleased with me, especially when I offered it. While it left Jade steaming, there wasn't anything more he could say against it, although I definitely got much more attention for a while afterwards.

As I sat there with my eyes closed, I suddenly became aware of someone standing behind me. I didn't even flinch at it though. I had come to know the feeling of Jade being there now. It was kind of nice since he could no longer surprise me.

"I'd ask you if you were nature watching, but I do not believe that is possible with one's eyes closed." Jade joked.

The joke didn't surprise me. Jade did have an odd sense of humor at times.

"You could call it nature listening." I answered. I opened my eyes and looked up at him, "So, where have you been all of this time? I wouldn't think that you'd just stay in the house on a day like today."

"I didn't. I just decided to run a few errands. Did you miss me?" Jade asked as he sat beside me.

"If I said that I didn't, would you believe me?" I responded.

"Not really. I'm certain that I'm in your thoughts often enough." Jade bragged.

He seemed at ease for now. If one didn't know Jade very well, they probably wouldn't have noticed that. But from what I'd seen, he usually always had his guard up. It made me wonder at times if he worried that Saffron might stab him in the back or something. Or me for that matter.

"You missed a good afternoon. Saffron and I saw a lot of different things." I went on, sitting back again.

"I'm sure you did, and he's practically walking on air now because he'll be able to brag over me later. I can tell that much." Jade scoffed, sitting back.

"You know that it's your own fault. You were invited to come." I reminded him.

"I am aware of that, but it still doesn't change his bragging rights." Jade replied.

"Bragging rights to what? To suggesting the whole thing?" I asked.

"Now you're catching on."

I shook my head, "Jade, you know that you have nothing to be jealous over, if that's what this is." I told him.

"Me? Jealous? Wherever did that one come from?" Jade asked, sitting back again. That smug look had returned, but I could tell that it was just a mask now.

"You certainly give that impression, especially when we talk about my spending time with Saffron. If you dislike that so much, then you should make it a point to spend more time with me." I went on.

I had the funny feeling that I may regret those words, but it was worth saying at the time.

Jade seemed to think it over, "Spend more time with you? How interesting. I thought that I spent enough to at least keep some attention. Am I getting senile?" he mused.

"Oh, you're funny." I said sarcastically.

"I do my best." Jade replied, "I just find it so odd. I have not been able to figure it out yet. What do you see in Saffron that is so different from myself? We are both what we are in the end. There is no difference."

I'd gotten this question before, but I'd evaded it. At the time though, I didn't feel too self-conscious in telling him the truth, so I decided to just let it out.

"Well, there is one major difference. Saffron's not as malicious."

Jade blinked. I had the distinct feeling that the statement had caught him off guard. But he quickly hid it.

"He's not that malicious? Wherever did you come up with that?" he said, almost sounding indignant.

"He just isn't. You said it yourself. Saffron only fell because of his forbidden love for you and what he did for you. Maybe he did help you in getting rid of Leo, but he isn't that mean inside." I explained.

To be completely honest, I had no idea where I'd come up with such a belief. I didn't really know that Saffron was like that deep inside. I'd just assumed it because he was always so sweet towards me.

Jade frowned, "You don't know that much about him. Saffron's reason for falling wasn't just his feelings for me, although they played a part in it. He's actually quite malicious when it comes to keeping the things that he feels he wants the most. You're just lucky that you happen to be one of them right now." he informed me.

"Really?" I didn't believe him.

"You don't have to believe me, but you can ask him yourself. Saffron's a killer, just like me. He killed several other angels as well when they were catching onto me, and he was more than happy that we were able to come after that woman when she threatened you. So don't hand me that stuff about him not being malicious." Jade scoffed.

There it was. Blatant jealousy. Even if all of that was true, which it probably was, Jade was going to make sure that I knew it because he was jealous. It was both touching and a bit disturbing at the same time.

I hoped that this didn't mean those two would be fighting over me again tonight. The last real fight had destroyed one of the rooms in the house. It was right after I'd learned of Saffron's past, and he'd tried to clear the air with me. Apparently, he hadn't taken too kindly to Jade telling me about what he'd been doing with him in the past. I was rather glad that I'd stayed in my room while I listened to that very violent argument.

So I decided to have my say, "Jade, just because I get along well with Saffron doesn't mean that I feel any differently about him then I do you." I stated.

"Is that so?" Jade said, looking back over at me. I knew that look in his eyes. I was about to be challenged. I swear, if anyone liked challenging someone, it was Jade, "Then tell me something. I am curious."

"Go ahead." I sighed. Who was I to deny him?

"Tell me, what do Saffron and I mean to you now?"

"I told you before, didn't I? You've both been my saviors."

"Only saviors? Well, I would've thought that there'd be more to it." Jade mused.

"What do you mean more to it?" I asked him flatly.

Jade smiled, "Don't you know? I'm asking how you really feel about us."

"Oh no. I'm not getting into any of that stuff again." I retorted.

To be perfectly honest, I was far too afraid to say out loud just what I thought of those two. My attractions couldn't have been good, and it worried me that either would try to manipulate me if they knew the truth.

"Are you really so worried about admitting the truth to the matter? It's really nothing that I'm that concerned about in the end. Our loyalties have always been with each other here. I'm simply curious as to whom is first in your mind." Jade continued.

I shrugged, "And I've never thought about it, so there's no reason to ask. I told you before that I see you both as the same, even if I tend to spend more time with Saffron now, but that's your own fault." I stated.

I was kind of thankful that Saffron was calling us in then. I was almost certain that Jade was going to say something that I really wouldn't like due to my statement.

Our dinner turned out rather quiet after that, although I sensed a growing hostility between Jade and Saffron again. I half wondered if I should make myself hide in my room that evening.

When it comes down to it, you've never seen a real fight until you've seen two demons go at it. Although normally they were both calm, Jade and Saffron had violent tempers towards each other when provoked. As I'd said before, they did end up destroying one of the rooms right after I came there. Literally destroying that room, as a matter of fact. I heard the shouting and crashing that night, and saw busted walls and broken furniture the next morning. Jade forced Saffron to fix it all afterwards.

"You started the argument that caused all of this." he'd said, "Now you fix it."

As it got dark outside, I sat in the living room and listened with some apprehension. Jade and Saffron were in the kitchen, having quite a heated discussion. I don't know whether they thought that I wouldn't hear them, or if they just didn't care about what I heard. But their words bothered me. There was definitely about to be another fight.

"I'm telling you, I have no such intentions." Saffron was saying.

"And I say you do. Nothing that you've done since you've been here has been without deeper motive. I know you all too well Saffron." Jade contended. His calm voice belied the anger seething beneath.

"I have none. I've told you that since all of this started. Besides, you were the one who agreed to drag me into this whole fiasco in the first place. If you're so damn suspicious, then you shouldn't have brought me." Saffron responded.

"I brought you because I knew that you'd follow, whether I wanted you to or not. You always follow, no matter where I go, and keeping you under thumb assures me of less problems." Jade countered.

"Is it wrong of me? You certainly didn't think so in the times before, or has that little girl changed you so much where nothing else could?" Saffron scoffed.

I winced as I heard a loud bang. I halfway wondered if Jade had sent him flying into something, but it just didn't sound like it. Perhaps he'd hit the countertop hard. I'd find out later that this was indeed the case when I literally saw handprints embedded into it.

"Do not suggest such a thing, lest I tear off some of those precious limbs of yours this time!" he growled.

"You wouldn't dare." Saffron sneered, "You've always threatened me with such things, yet you never do it because you cannot and you know it!"

"Do not count it out just because it has not happened yet." Jade warned him, "If you think that things are different here, then I will allow that much. But if you ruin my plans with this kitten, I will make sure that your eternity is as miserable as possible!"

I supposed that it was time to see if I could do something. I really liked that kitchen, and I hated to think that they might destroy it. It had taken quite a while for that room to get fixed before, and I wasn't eating out every night just because they got into another fight.

I slowly stood up and walked over to the doorway. I felt the chill in the air as I stood there. It was a stark reminded of what I was now involved with.

Jade and Saffron were still standing there across the bar from each other, and both looked like they weren't budging with this argument. Saffron was still as defiant as before.

"I've told you that I have nothing more planned here Jade, and I have no intention of backing down from my position here. You can rest assured of that." he said quietly.

They seemed to have noticed my presence, because Jade actually backed off.

"Do what you want. I could care less now." he growled, turning back into a shadow. I watched as it flew back of the room through the door leading to the garage.

Saffron remained indifferent, "He certainly does have a nasty temper when he gets jealous." he commented, going back to the dishes.

"Is it really okay to let him go like that?" I asked.

"I wouldn't worry too much. He'll come back. He always does." Saffron assured me as he flashed me a smile.

I would've liked to believe him on that one, but something about this fight bothered me. It ended up dominating my mind all evening.

Night eventually fell, and the house remained quiet. I felt the loneliness creeping in as I sat in my room. I could've gone to Saffron like I often did, but for whatever reason, I didn't feel like it. Maybe it was because I was missing Jade now. I hated it when he wasn't there at night.

I fidgeted around for a bit, then finally forced myself to lay down. I touched my left eye as I did. I was certain that the contract was still there. It felt a little warm under my fingers.

Where are you, Jade? I wondered. Did you change the contract and leave?

I couldn't imagine that he'd do something like that, but then, one never knew with something like him. The thought had me a bit scared. I didn't want to be alone. I didn't want Jade to leave me.

I finally couldn't take it anymore and sat up.

"Jade! Come back here to me!" I demanded.

It wasn't ten seconds later that I felt a pair of arms holding me from behind.

"You called?" Jade said. I could hear the slight chuckle in his voice. He was amused at my little outburst.

"Yes. I did. Where were you?" I demanded. I couldn't resist leaning back into his embrace. My world was complete again. He'd come back.

"Just blowing off a bit of steam, although I did not think that my absence would matter so much to you. You know that I always come back." Jade answered, not bothering to let me go.

"I didn't think that you were capable of getting mad like you did." I noted, turning to lie against him.

Jade sighed, "Saffron brings it out in me I suppose, and I was in a bad mood anyway, so it was easier to just leave then sit in here and bear it."

"It's your own fault, so stop leaving me alone so much."

"Is that a command?"

"Should it be?"

Jade let out a soft chuckle, "Perhaps. But all things considered, I would've thought that you'd appreciate Saffron more than myself in the area of comfort. There are many things that you do with him that you would not consider with me."

"Many things huh?" I mused, looking up at him, "Like what?"

"Give your true affections some thought." was all that Jade would tell me.

I leaned up and kissed him. I'll admit to having a bit of bravado that night, but I wanted to prove my point. He was still my savoir, no matter what he thought of me.

"You can say what you want, but you are right in the end." I whispered, "My true loyalties will always be with you."

He chuckled again, "That's what I thought."

I knew that I was feeling more for him then I should have, but I still carry no regrets as I look back on that night. I proved my point that I could hold my own against a cocky demon who truly seemed to believe that he could just use me at times, and that made life feel pretty good, even if it was damned.