Chapter 4

All you will ever have is yourself. Adults always know how to sprinkle some sunshine and rainbow in your world. It will be the shittiest thing they will ever do. They lie. I close my eyes trying to process what mom just told me. I could hear my thoughts all over the place and the ringing in my head getting louder as each second passes by. I cover my ears and close my eyes until it was silent.

 

I drifted off to sleep.

 

I stood where I last touched Marco's soft hands. The familiar breeze hitting my face once more and the dim moonlight shining upon the town. I looked around, hoping to find Marco but unfortunately, he was nowhere to be found. The town was breathtaking. I used to roam around the streets as a kid, I could navigate my house with my eyes closed. This town was sitting on a cliff and below that very land was an endless view of the ocean. My mom was always mad at me when I sat at the edge of the cliff. I just felt at peace every time that salty wind hits my face and the sound of seagulls from afar enlightened me. You could see the horizon and it makes me wonder if I could reach it. Thinking about those moments makes me want to go there. 

 

I start making my way down the hill. Slowly approaching the pavement that led to my very home when dad was alive. He always brought me everywhere he went no matter what the circumstance was. My dad and I would walk towards my favorite bakeshop that sells the best eclairs I've ever had; we would then sit at the edge of the cliff near our home, count the seagulls that passed by, told each other a few jokes, then mom would ruin the moment and scold us when she sees us sitting by the edge.

 

He wasn't the perfect dad, but he was always there for me. Always.

 

Things changed and we had to move away. Somehow, I could never move on from this place. I walk by the small shops full of bustling crowds. It was always so lively here. I continue walking all the way till I see a small oak fence gate. I finally arrived. The home I once lived in. I slowly open the gate, it makes a slight creak before I completely closed it. The lights were on, was someone home? And if someone is, then who? I walk towards our porch where we used to play with my mom and dad. I open the door and I smell the scent of brownies baking in the oven.

 

"Hello?" No one answered.

 

I looked through the pictures on the small table in the living room. It was full of pictures of us. Mom, Dad, and me. We were so happy. I continued to search for anyone in the house, but no sign. I went too my old room. I make my way through the old stairs where I would slide down using an old cardboard box. I stop in front of my room.

 

"Bub's room" written on the small chalkboard hung in front of my bedroom door.

 

I open the door, my heart was pounding. All my old things were still there. Everything. My room had a small balcony overlooking the sea. It was a sight too see. I had a little bean bag there too sit on whenever I had too clear my head. It was my little escape. I walk towards the sliding door leading too my balcony. I slowly open it and I can feel the midnight ocean breeze hit my face. It sent jitters all over my body. I looked at the full moon shining the sea. I never wanted too leave.

 

I hear the front door open. I panicked! I hear footsteps coming up too my room. I run and hide at the balcony when suddenly I hear my bedroom door open. The footsteps grew louder and louder till it stopped at the center of my room. Just when a familiar voice hit me.

 

"Bub?" the voice that will only bring me peace and comfort.

 

I get up and and opened the balcony door. Tears filling up my eyes, my heart getting louder, and my hands shaking. I run towards the man.

 

"Dad! I missed you". My tears wouldn't stop flowing, no matter how hard I tried it wouldn't stop. I embraced him. The one thing I never did before he passed away. I bawled like a baby. He was back.