The Great Candied Adventure, Part 1

Prologue: You Owe Me

Cleveland, Virginia

A sunny day as always in Cleveland, and a particular street was bustling with excited kids, loaded with wallets or piggybanks as they gathered before a GameStop. A new game was being released today, and they couldn't be more excited; or more disorganized. "Alright, CALM DOWN everyone, just get in a single-file line and we promise to have one for each of you." The storeowner said.

The kids got in a line that stretched all the way around a block. The kids near the front looked as a boy in black clothing dashed their way tirelessly, clutching his own piggybank tight. "I'm not late for the opening, am I?!" Mason asked panickingly.

"No, but, there's kind of a line." A boy replied.

"Mind if I cut? I just got back from a vacation and I kinda forgot this was comin' out today."

"Well, you picked a wrong time to go on vacation."

I'd like to see YOU not get lost in space. Mason wanted to say, but that would sound weird. "Fine." He begrudgingly went to the back of the line.

He waited for 10 minutes and the line barely moved at all. He didn't imagine there would be this many loaded kids, though. He imagined most of them got loans from their parents, though, loans that would probably never be repaid. The truth is, Mason worked for his cash, taking small jobs like mowing lawns or cleaning windows, until he saved up that $49.99 for the game, and also $139.99 for the Wii U II he didn't have. His mom probably would've lent him some money if he asked, but her days were stressful enough already.

His wristwatch started beeping, so he answered. "Mason, it's Aurora. The Decommissioning Troops were chasing a rogue operative and he escaped somewhere downtown. You're the nearest in that area, so help them catch him."

Mason wanted to object… but it probably would've been a while until this line got closer. "Sigh. Fine."

Meanwhile downtown, a group of decommissioners struggled to catch a fleeing male teenager in a green sweater and black pants. Numbuh Vo-Syem (a Russian 8) easily dodged the operatives' ray guns and wielded a long hammer and metal hook staff, with a huge hook. He stopped and turned as the operatives flew at him with jetpacks, and he either knocked them away with his hammer or caught them with his hook and tossed them at other operatives. "Your attempts are futile, former comrades." He said with a Russian accent.

"Ugh. Wonderful time for Maddy to visit Mocha." Francis mumbled, Zach by his side.

"Relax, Fran! I brought my banana cream!" Zach perked, pulling out a bowl of the squishy substance.

"That's great, Bobo Boy. Now use it."

"RIGHT! Hnnnn!..." He hurled the pie straight at the traitor, but it plopped on the ground halfway. "…The anteater was supposed to come out… I hope he didn't just take the money and go."

"Hmph. And my superiors fear you." Numbuh Vo-Syem remarked. "Huh?-" He quickly jumped away before a Gas Bomb came.

"Listen, guy, I'm kinda in a hurry, so why don't you just turn yourself in?" Mason requested.

"You will have to do better than that." He dodged as Mason used a single hand to throw gas blasts, using his other arm to hold the piggybank. "Why do you hold that pig so caringly?"

"Because it's the result of my hard work and dedication."

"And I get decommissioning for my hard work. I see no reason I shall let you have your reward." In a flick, he whipped his hook-staff over and caught Mason's piggybank.

"GIVE THAT BACK!!" Mason ran to grab it, but Numbuh Vo-Syem jumped away.

"HAAAH!-" Francis and Zach charged and tackled him from behind, causing the bank to fly to the air. Mason gasped and ran to catch it, but Vo-Syem caught his leg with his staff and tripped him. Mason was stricken with despair when the piggybank smashed, and all the scattered dollars blew everywhere in the wind.

"NOOO!" He tried to catch a few, but it seemed fruitless as most of it was lost.

"You have my discontent." Numbuh Vo-Syem told him before kicking his assaulters off and fleeing.

"Sorry 'bout that… Mason." Francis said.

"Forget it." Mason looked down hopelessly and walked away.

He stuffed what little money that remained in his pocket and walked downtown aimlessly. He worked so hard to collect all that, and not to mention enduring the whole space adventure… he hated life so much sometimes. "Oof!" When he passed a corner, he bumped into someone and fell to his behind.

"Look, much?" remarked a familiar girl with puffy blonde hair, green dress, and holding a sun umbrella.

"Oh, hi, Carol." He replied solemnly.

"What's wrong, Maseyfairy? Someone die or something?"

"Well, we did lose one of our friends."

"Who, the raccoon?"

"No, it-… never mind. Sigh, I've been saving all this money for the past few weeks so I can buy this new game, then this kid made me drop my piggybank and now it's-" he waved his hand, "gone."

"Ohh… Well, that's the unfortunate part about not being a rich person, I guess."

His eyes furrowed as he stood up. "Sigh, I know I try to follow Sheila's ideals, but I don't see the point in things sometimes. You work so hard for something and in the end, it doesn't matter. 'Cause people just…" he threw his arms down in anger, "take things from you. You know?"

"Barely. I've always gotten everything."

"Siiigh." Mason walked past her. "Forget it."

She grabbed his shoulder, "Look, Maseyfairy, I don't know what's so special about this game, but I hate that mopey look on you. How much money was it?"

"About 200 dollars. But I caught some, so it's just 189 left."

"Alright then, here." She pulled out two 100-dollar bills.

Mason looked at them with surprise. "Um… what-?"

"I'm lending you $200 to pay for your game. I mean, poor people can't help if they're poor, so consider it a generous gesture."

Mason wore a blank look as he took the money, but was actually feeling unspeakably grateful. "Um… thanks… Carol."

"No problem. By the way, what game is it?"

"It's called Legend of the Firstborn; the producer based it off rumors he collected around the world. All our parents might be in it! And it looks REALLY cool, too!"

"I'm suddenly curious. Hope you enjoy it." She smiled with a haughty look as she walked away. "Of course…" She turned around and smirked, "You owe me."

"Heheh… I'll pay you back, Carol. I promise."

And Mason excitedly ran for the game store while Carol left the other way. Mason returned to the line before the game store, watching as an anteater walked out. "Oh BOY, Legend of the Firstborn at last! I gotta get started with it now!!"

Mason only looked confusedly and shrugged.

Carol is from One Piece, but she first appeared in my Mason and the Minish Door story. With that, let's begin the true story!

Chapter 1: The Lost Recipe

Big Mom Pirates' Hideout

"All our ships have sailed off, Captain. It won't be long until the Sugary Wonders are in our grasp."

"I would hope so for your succulent sake, Black John. But what of the recipe requiring such sweets? Your men will never find them, if you do not know what they are."

"Ay've already sent Nickel Joe and the young'uns to acquire it. Assuming we can trust what Augustus says. Afterwards, they're going to catch the spicy wench which badmouthed ye."

"Ma ma ma ma. I've never felt more hungry for sugar and spice. See to it they return here soon. Or you will have to satisfy my blood-sugar levels…"

Sector V Treehouse

A casual day at Sector V's treehouse. Kirie and Chris were playing games together (in which Kirie kicks butt), Aurora went over mission reports, and the others were doing their own thing. It was pretty calm and quiet, and they quite enjoyed the relaxation, considering their previous mission. But the silence was silenced when-

"WOOHOOOO!" Sheila Frantic burst into the living room, more excited than she's ever been. "OooooKAY! It's a new day! Come on, everybody! Let's go on an adventure!"

Everybody looked at her with humorous, disbelieved smiles. "Isn't it a bit early, Sheila?" Mason asked.

"It's never too early for adventures, people! We just got done with the whole Nexus thinger, so that leaves room for even MORE adventures! So come on, wot's everyone so lazy for??"

"We just went on an adventure for more than a week, we wanna relax." Harry stated.

"And to be honest Sheila, we're still a little bummed over the whole 'Vanellope vanishing.'" Aurora reminded.

"Especially Dillon." Chris mentioned. "She was his adopted sister, after all."

The shadowbender as mentioned was seated on the couch, head rested on his hand as he wore a glum look. "Don't forget Game-and-Watch." Artie noted. "He doesn't even come out anymore."

"Well, bonkers, whoy don't we go out and SEARCH for Vanellope?? She might be in the forest, or back in Cyberspace for all we know! All I know, we AIN'T gonna find her by sittin' around! There's a whole world just WAITIN' to be explored!"

"Man, Sheila, why so peppy today?" Mason asked. "Someone put something in your soda?"

"You're the Soda Supplier, so that'd be your fault, Mason." Aurora remarked, earning a glare from the boy.

"Why WOULDN'T I be, mates?? It's a beautiful day today! There's a whole bunch of adventure in the air and Oi want ta WHIFF it all!"

Aurora chuckled. "Well, maybe we'll go on an adventure 'soon as we get a mission. But before that happens, we need to stay put so we'll be ready."

Sheila frowned grumpily and decided to walk out onto the balcony. Mason raised a brow and curiously walked after her.

Mason found his raccoon friend lying on the balcony floor, hands folded under her head in boredom. "Umm… Sheila? Is something wrong? You really aren't this excited for adventure every day. Is somethin' going on?"

"Siiiigh, nothin's goin' on, Mate. But Ah hate how no one else has the same taste in adventure as I do. No one has the same need for excitement. They just don't appreciate life as much."

"Heheh, I'm sure they do, Sheila. That's why they're playing videogames, and, hanging out with friends. Just stuff that we love to do."

"Sigh, but it's just not the same, Mate. It's just… I joined the Kids Next Door for the excitement and adventure. But it's just no fun if ya have ta wait ta go on the adventure. Pirates get ta sail anywhere they want, whenevuh. But aren't kids supposed ta have that freedom, too? Jus' look at Timmy and 'ikari. Ya hardly ever see 'em at home. …And I would know."

Mason smiled and sat beside her. "Ahhh, don't worry, Sheila. Once we're done defeating all the major bad guys in the world, we'll get to do all the adventuring we want. And even before then… life has so much excitement. 'Course, we wouldn't go on adventures without these bad guys to begin with. So why would we wanna beat 'em. You know what I'm sayin'-" He turned to her and saw she had fallen asleep.

Mason liked it when she slept. She looked so beautiful, the sun illuminating her vibrant face. She usually had so much energy—like just moments ago—it was a weird sight to see her resting. But it was a sight Mason loved to see. …It sounded weird when he thought about it. Mason picked a few leaves from the treehouse branches and let them fall onto Sheila's face. He sported a humorous smile before returning inside.

Strowd Estate

The Strowd Estate: home of the richest family in West Virginia. Stationed on a private setting within the woods, and sealed in a wall with some gates. But this peaceful residence was about to get an unpleasant visit from Nickel Joe and the Deadly Baby Trio; Stewie, Rallo, and Maggie.

"Ahhh, there it is… the Strowd Estate. Home of the richest family in West Virginia." Nickel Joe said with a grin, flipping his nickel.

"You know, we can read the non-dialogue script." Stewie said disbelieved.

"Accordin' to Augustus's report, this is the home of a man who was born in the 19th century, and frozen in sherbet ice cream in a mission to recover the Annoying Triplets' recipe. A little over 20 years ago, he was unfrozen. But his family was fabulously wealthy durin' his time, and when they learned who he was, he inherited the wealth. And if he's hopin' on keepin' it, he better spill the beans." And with one last flip, he flicked his coin and blasted the front gate open.

The four casually stepped to the front door as Joe rang the doorbell. A little brown-haired girl answered, dressed in fancy, old-timey clothes. "Why, hello, good sirs and ma'am!"

"Mw-mw." Maggie said.

"Good afternoon, Little Girl." Nickel Joe grinned slyly. "We was wonderin' if yer father was home."

"But of course! Come on in!" They followed the girl inside as the Baby Trio observed the fancy interior. It was what you'd expect of a rich person's home, but there were plenty of black-and-white pictures and general old-timey merchandise.

"Apparently the phrase 'get with the program' isn't familiar to these people." Stewie remarked.

"DAAAAD! There's a gent and his babies here to see you!" the girl called.

The man of the house, Richard Strowd Sr., stepped down the foyer stairs. "Evangeline Margaret Strowd, have I taught you nothing about letting strangers in the house?" the man stated scoldingly.

"Please, Mistuh Strowd, ya haven't anythin' to fear, we're just here on business!" Joe assured. And with that, Stewie whipped out a goo gun and shot at Evangeline, sticking her against the wall.

"Evangeline!" Rick exclaimed. Nickel Joe shot forward and kicked the man against the stairs.

"Business is strictly business, Mr. Strowd. So tell me: where is the recipe?"

"The…The recipe?"

"You know very well what Ah'm talkin' about. The recipe to the tastiest cake in the universe, created by the mother of the Annoyingly Cute Triplets. Our sources say you are the only one who saw its contents."

"I'm sorry, Sir, but I haven't the slightest clue what you're talking about. If you're looking for a good cake recipe, might I suggest using this new thing called 'the Internet'…"

"Unfort'nately, I ain't a computer wiz, so let's rap this up. And I phrase 'rap' without the double-yuh. Rallo, do the honors for me."

The 5-year-old African-American ("Just say 'Black', who you trying not to offend?" Stewie stated) revealed two boombox stereos in his afro. He flipped a switch as music started to play, and the boy took out a microphone to begin singing.

"Ooooohh Fathaaaahh! Why are YOU so fat?" Rick Strowd began to dance against his will. "Oooohhh Daddyyyyy! Why are YOU SOOO DIIIIM!" Rick jumped to his feet and started to shake his knees as he slid left and right along the one stair. "Can't you see your SHOW is NOT SO gooood. And if you KEEP IT gooooin' on. You gonna SHARE the same old faaate: AAAAS JOEEEEEYYY!"

And on that final note, his boombox unleashed a swarm of musical notes that pelted Rick Strowd and knocked him down again, leaving bloody bruises. "And on this SECOND verse, Maggie Simpson will be shootin' ya with a rifle." Joe said.

The spike-haired baby looked fierce as she loaded a rifle. "Mw-mw."

"Stooop!" The group looked up the stairs as Margaret Drilovsky-Strowd hurried down, dressed in a pink frilly dress.

"And who might you be?" Nickel Joe grinned. "The lady of the house."

"I know what you guys are after." Margie stated. "And there's a reason my husband can't remember: he was decommissioned."

"Decommissioned?..."

"Yes. He was in the Kids Next Door, but he was decommissioned for being technically overage. He forgot the recipe as a result."

"Well, how the bloody hell are we supposed to get the recipe now??" Stewie questioned angrily. "We can't just go back empty-handed, it's like giving your friend trading cards for a show he's never watched on his birthday!"

"But you know of these Kids Next Door, too." Nickel Joe grinned slyly. "Tell me, is there a way to restore his memory back?"

"Yes." Margaret glared. "The one who decommissioned him was my sister-in-law. And if I'm correct, her kids have taken over that task. I bet they have a solution to this."

"You've peaked my interest, Miss Strowd." Joe grinned, flipping his nickel. "So please, tell me: where can I find these relatives o' yours?"

Sector V Treehouse

Sheila was still snoring away on the balcony as the peaceful winds blew across her. "Sheila? …Sheila?" Aurora shook their friend awake.

"Sno- W-Wot?" Sheila sat up and turned to her 9 friends of Sector V.

"Sheila, we just wanted to say we're sorry for sounding lazy earlier." Aurora spoke. "But we figured, after all that Tachyon business and losing Vanellope, maybe we need something to get that off our minds. So, let's have an adventure!" she said perkily. "If there's anywhere you wanna go, just name it!"

"Hmmmmmm…" Sheila began to think about this. The raccoon gave a bright smile and jumped to her feet. "Oi wanna go to the MOON!!" She pointed directly upward.

"…" Sector V was totally baffled. "Uhhh… we go to the moon all the time, Sheila." Aurora reminded.

"Noooo!! Oi mean the REAL moon!! Not that cruddy Moonbase!" Sheila stared up with wonder. "Every night I see that glistening beauty hanging in the sky… and Oi always wonder, what lie on its surface. …It's been my dream to go up there and walk along its surface! AND I WANNA GO!"

"Sheila, the Moonbase lies on its surface." Harry stated. "The rest of it's just a big, dead-… Huh?" However, the raccoon girl was suddenly gone.

They hurried inside and found Sheila sitting in the C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. in the hangar. "Let's GO already!" They looked disbelieved.

The Moon

The C.O.O.L.-B.U.S. sped right up to Moonbase and aimed directly at the hangar. But instead, the ship flew up and around the Moonbase, before flying down and landing flat on the moon's surface. The door opened as the kids stepped out, dressed in spacesuits and wearing helmets. "Well… here we are. The moon…" Aurora spoke as they studied the vast, barren gray surface.

"Do you like it, Sheila?..." Harry asked.

"Sniiiiiiiff…" Sheila inhaled a big whiff through her nose, wearing no protective clothing at all. "Smells jus' loike I imagined it."

"AAAAAHH!!" They screamed, seeing this. "Sheila put the air helmet on or you're gonna diiie!!!" Mason said quickly.

"Ahhh, quit yellerin', Mate!" Sheila beamed. "Ah'm half-Mobian! Empty space has as much fresh air as any other planet!"

"But… that doesn't make sense." Aurora said. "I mean, why would humanoid animal beings be immune to no oxygen? And plus, you're still half-human."

"Yah, maybe. But OI feel-" However, her eyes widened as she suddenly began choking, gripping her neck as she fell to her knees. "A-A-Ack! H-Help… need… air! A-A-Ack…"

"Sheeeilaaaaa!" Mason whined.

In seconds, the kids gave their friend a space helmet, and she whiffed the air in her nose. "Ahhhh… now tha's more crookey, eh? Ahem… now le's go EXPLORE!" She pointed forward with enthusiasm. The kids still stared weirdly, for she only had a helmet and oxygen tank on her back. Instead of a suit, she still wore a green T-shirt, short black shorts, and green flip-flops.

"And you still dress like you're going to a party on the beach." Aurora said. "The moon's cold, you know."

"Only at noight, Mate! But in the life of an adventurer, you only need one pair of clothes. Like these sandals!" She pointed at her sandals. "Me mum gave me this pair when Ah began adventuring and Ah plan to walk a thousand miles in them!"

"They didn't even fit you 'til you were 9." Mason stated.

"This ain't the time for shoe sizes, Mate! We've got exploring to do! First thing I wanna do…" With that, she squatted down as tight as she could, charging up momentum, then finally- "WOOHOOOO!" leaped high, high, HIGH into the air, er, space. She was several meters in the air before the low gravity began to slowly pull her back. The others merely watched her descent, an excited grin on her face as her legs bent upward. Her legs straightened down again before she landed lightly on her feet. "That was inCREDIBLE! It felt like there were springs in my feet!"

"Well, that is how the astronauts did it." Artie smirked.

"Come on, you blokes! Maybe we'll find some ALIENS on here! WHEEEEHOOOO!" And Sheila began skipping across the moon, making long, wide leaps.

"Sheila, if we wanna find aliens, we can just drive up to GKND Headquarters!" Aurora yelled as they jumped after her.

"Ehhh, those guys are old-time. But a MOONY alien, that'll just be the HOOTS, Mate!"

Inside Moonbase

Supreme Leader Cheren was filing paperwork as usual as his assistant, Panini Drilovsky brought in another file. "Sector V brought the mission report regarding the galactic mission, Sir."

"Good." Cheren took the folder and began to skim it. "Hmmm… so they never found Caesar, huh. That could present a problem."

"You don't think Sector DR had somethin' to do with that, huh?"

"I do. But I can't call 'em on it without proof. Well, I kinda have proof, but… not really. I'll probably send spies to Dressrosa to look after Doflamingo's father. He's on our suspect list."

"Me and Francis have to run home, though. Apparently our cousins are coming over, and Dad wants us ta be there. Since it's his sister and we don't see them much."

"Oh, Madame Margaret…" Cheren recalled. "What're they coming for?"

"Ay don't know, it was sort of suddenly. Guess we better go, though." She walked away.

"Okay. Take care! And make sure Francis don't get turned into a girl!"

"Ha ha ha ha!"

The Moon's surface

Sector V quit hopping after a while and began walking normally, exploring the moon's surface for about 15 minutes. Even though their bodies were lighter than on Earth, they already began to ache, feeling extremely bored. Except Sheila, of course. The energetic raccoon marched forward with enthusiasm, showing no signs of tiredness, eager to see every corner of this barren surface. "Agh, I have an itch on my back and I can't scratch it 'cause of this suit!" Harry complained. "Man, why'd we even agree to this? We coulda gone to someplace fun like, Sector J or the arcade, but she wanted to walk around a dump like this."

Sheila immediately stopped and turned to glare at him. "Look, Mate, if you wanna go to the same ol' place over 'n' over again, then be my guest. But don't keep someone else from seein' somethin' new. So either turn back now, or keep explorin'." With that, she walked forward more, and the friends followed.

"Siiiigh. And Sunni was obsessed. But I guess this ain't so bad." Harry said.

The kids soon arrived at a wide, deep crater, and Sheila's mouth widened with joy. "Bonkers, mates… it's water! We found a pool o' lunar water!" Indeed, it was a pool of blue, frozen water. Sheila jumped into the pit and landed softly on the ice. "Oi wonder if it feels jus' like normal water? Oi gotta find out, mates!" With that, she jumped high in the air(?) and shot down with a forceful punch on the ice. It wouldn't break, so she made multiple leaps, trying her best to punch the ice.

"Hm... girl'll try anything." Harry snickered lightly.

"She better watch herself." Dillon said.

"Relax, that ice's colder than the North Pole, she'll never crack it."

Aurora looked up, feeling bored, and her eyes widened at the marvel above. "Hey… check out Earth." They looked directly up at the beautiful blue planet. It had an unrealistic glow to it, and the ocean and landmasses seemed like what you'd find on a globe.

"The map-makers really got it down." Chris said.

"From here, it looks so small…" Haylee said. "But when you're up there, there's… so much to it. …But we've only been to a few places. It still feels small."

"Then maybe we should adventure more." Mason figured. "There's probably a hundred things no one's ever seen. So many unexplored places…"

"Well, our missions come first." Harry figured. "That's what the leaduhs say."

"Yeah, but it's what Sheila wants to see." Mason replied. "Just look at her."

Sheila didn't stop jumping and trying to punch the ice. They expected her to be getting tired by now, but she looked so determined. So full of spirit… just like her mother.

Young 5-year-old Sheila followed her mother up a forest hill, stopping before a towering cliff. "Now Sheila, on your adventures, you're going to be running into some big obstacles. Like this here cliff!" Marine patted the stone wall. "Imagine this big ol' cliff has a BEAUT of a treasure behind it!"

"Is there a treasure, Mum?!"

"Oi donno, Sheila. But that's what we're here to find out!"

"But Mum, how we gonna move this goiant cliff?"

"He he he. Back in the day, they used to call me 'Golden-Fist Marine'. Because me punches were so hard, it's like me knuckles were made o' gold. Really HARD gold. But the thing is, I combine my lightbending with the strength of my fist, and the kinetic energy created from the light adds extra force and helps BURN through the substances punched!"

"Uuuuuuuhhh?" Sheila's 5-year-old mind had trouble processing this.

"I don't understand it either! Lemme jus' show you, Mate!" And Sheila watched in wonder as her mother faced the cliffside and spun her right arm, faster than the fastest propeller. Her arm spun so fast, you could barely see it, going a thousand miles per hour, with its only indication being the circular light trail from Marine's fist. Finally, with a powerful charge of momentum, Marine PUNCHED the cliffside and left a gaping crack that stretched miles up above.

"Wwwwoooooowww!" Sheila was astonished.

"Yep! That's how it's done." Marine said as she stretched her fingers, acting like it hardly bruised her at all. Which it didn't.

"Holy whoazers, Mum! You must be the strongest sheila in the world!"

"Oh, you little bonker! Anyone can make a gaping crack in a cliff! Even you!"

"ME, Mum??"

"Yeah! If you want the treasure that's behind this cliff."

"But how can I get it, Mum??"

"Jus' do what I did! Spin your fist 'til it's GOOD for a punch!"

"But Mom, what if I can't break it??"

"Ya never know unless ya try, Sheila. Now go on and go for it!"

Sheila's eyes furrowed with determination as she faced the crater in the cliff. The inspired child balled her right fist and spun her arm as fast as she could. It spun faster and faster, her fist glowing with light. Once her fist was good and warm, she ran forward, and threw her powerful punch against the crater.

"Hnnnn-eh! Hnnnn-eh!" Sheila kept jumping and pounding her fist against the solid ice. After several more punches, the raccoon lass was able to leave a small, but noticeable crack.

"Ohh!!" Her friends' eyes widened.

"Ahhh-ha! Now we're gettin' somewhere!" And with one more jump, Sheila spun in the air, and SHOT down like a bullet, piercing the ice perfectly. The kids peeked over the edge and saw Sheila was gone beneath the ice, via the hole she created. And in a few more seconds, she resurfaced, floating in the water. "BONKERS, mates! There really IS water on the moon! To think that all the Moon People use the same stuff WE do! I-" She stopped suddenly, beginning to shiver. "S-S-S-So c-c-c-cold!"

"Oh, Sheila." They chorused.

Drilovsky Household

Francis and Panini returned home on their S.C.A.M.P.E.R. and stepped off as they approached their front door. They stopped for a moment to look at their uncle's horse carriage parked on the street. "I'm sure glad we don't live with them." Francis said.

"I guess. Whose limo, though?" Panini asked, also noticing a limo behind the carriage.

"Our aunt got tired of the old-times?" The query hung in their minds as they entered the house.

"!" They found their living room table smashed and a slight hole in the wall. They saw the closet door hanging slightly open and went to open it. "Ohhhh…" There lie their father, moaning and covered with bruises.

The kids froze with fear when they felt a presence behind them. "Please excuse the mess." Nickel Joe said.

Panini jumped to throw flames at him, but he dodged aside and stuck her to the wall using toothpicks. Francis ran at him, but he threw toothpicks at his shoes and made him trip, his feet stuck to the ground now. He pulled the toothpicks loose while Panini burned hers, but- "AHHH!" They were trapped inside an anti-gravity bubble.

"There, that should hold you." Stewie smirked, wielding the ray gun that created it. "Too bad defeating the father wasn't this easy, didn't think we'd have to use Rallo's music."

"Yeah, but now's we got 'em." Rallo said. "Do it, Maggs." The siblings gasped when Maggie aimed a gun at Patton's head.

"Mw-mw." She glared.

"Now I'd suggest tellin' us where the Recommission Module is or we'll blow 'is brains out." Joe grinned.

"YOU!" Panini screamed. "Ay thought takin' our candy was bad enough, but THIS?! You have NO right!"

"'Course we don't, we're pirates. We don't play by the rules. And we can kill any shlobo we want. 'less we…" He glanced to Maggie, who cocked her gun.

"What do you want the module for, anyway?!" Francis demanded.

"Our mom had an unsatisfactory birthday last month, and we wanted ta make up. Only one cake has the potency to do so, and only one man knows it."

"Wait… you don't mean-"

"I say, doesn't this house have ONE serving of stewed rabbit and mince pies?" Rick Strowd complained as he entered the living room.

"For the last time, Rick, they prefer MODERN foods." Margaret told him.

"Uncle Rick?!" Panini questioned.

"Aunt Margie?!" Francis yelled.

"So the secret's out." Joe said simply. "Yeah yeah, we're tryin' to squeeze the recipe outta him. 'fortunately, your meddling mother erased his memory, the dame. Lucky for us she's out shoppin' now. I hear she's pretty tough, so let's wrap this up quickly. And this time with a double-U."

"He meant unfortunately back then, too." Stewie noted.

"So you gonna speak or what?" Joe threatened as Maggie aimed the gun closer.

Panini and Francis exchanged worried glances. "It's right here." Everyone looked at the entrance as Fanny Drilovsky herself stood, holding the device in her right palm.

"Ahh, if it isn't the lady of the house herself. Or should I say 'man'. Wink-wink. So hand it over, toots." Joe approached the woman.

He was immediately kicked against the stairs. "You must not know me very well."

Maggie just decided to shoot Patton, but Fanny already tossed a fireball and melted her gun, then did the same to Stewie's. Panini and Francis dropped free as the former cheered, "GET 'EM, MOM!"

"Dang, that's child abuse." Rallo said.

"Go cry to your mummy. Huh-!" She was met with rapid punches from behind, making her drop the Module. She turned to see her assaulter was Augustus. She tried to throw another flame, but barely came out.

"Boy, Dad was right: you do need to chill." He smirked.

"But… that's impossible. I was-" Fanny was silenced when Stewie froze her in brown, frozen soda, from another ray gun.

"MOM!!" her kids screamed.

Joe grabbed the device and proclaimed, "Much obliged." The siblings tried to attack him, but ended up strapped to the wall via Stewie's goo gun.

"How many does that brat have?!" Francis yelled.

"He comes prepared." Joe said. "Now let's see if the kickuh works." He winded the device as it played its 'Pop Goes the Weasel' tune, aiming it at Rick. In a flash, the powerful ray fired, and all of Rick's memories came rushing back. Being at war with his army of fellow KNDs, infiltrating the Annoying Triplets' mansion, gazing upon their luscious recipe, being unfrozen from the sherbet, sitting in a cell with Fanny, making out with her, and finally his decommissioning.

"I…I remember it now." Rick spoke, stricken with shock. "I was in Kids Next Door… I got frozen. And… that unRULY girl decomMISSIONED me! Why, the very nerve! This is exactly why I said we shouldn't let girls in the Kids Next Door! They'll start doing whatEVER they want, and then-"

"Cut the cockamony and tell us: do ya remember the recipe?" Joe asked.

"Yes, I…I think I DO remember… something about a recipe. I remember… forgetting the recipe… but it was on my chest… and, this man was-"

"Well, we'll squeeze it outta you in time. You're comin' with us. Contain 'im, Stewie."

The baby whipped out a shrink ray and shrunk Rick to 2 inches tall, catching him in a jar. "Want somebody kidnapped without struggle? Your family making a difficult move? With Stu Industries' new line of shrink rays, your life just got a whole lot easier!" he said to the camera, acting as if in a commercial.

"Like we don't got enough of those." Rallo said.

"Hey! You can't take-" Margie tried to speak, but Stewie froze her in soda.

"Take the Rabbit Ears, too, Augustus." Joe ordered.

"Certainly!" Without hesitation, Augustus dealt more chi-block punches against Panini before pulling her from the wall, letting Stewie bind her in more goo.

"Nnn! Hey! Let me go!" demanded Panini as she shook.

"What's your deal?!" Francis yelled, trying desperately to shake free. "You got what you wanted, why you taking her?!"

"My instincts tell you Kids Next Door are going to be a problem." Nickel Joe grinned slyly as usual. "As Chief Negotiator, I need the right tools. And since Mom has a score with this young lassie anyway, they ain't no harm with killin' two birds. But don't worry, they ain't no one killin'. That is… 'long as youse guys cooperate." And the crew took their captives in the limo and drove away.

"No! Come back! PANINIIIII!"