The Great Candied Adventure, Part 12: Sugary Paradise

Chapter 12: Sugary Paradise

Bermuda Triangle; Earth's sub-world

The Sunny Day and the small group of Coated ships safely made it out of the cyclone and sailed forward. They assumed other Spinach Ships would try to sail through, but had no time to wait. "So this is Earth's sub-world, huh?" Chris asked. It didn't look much different from the sea they're used to. The sky was still cloudy, water was still blue… there may've been a slight shift in atmosphere, but only the real sensitive ones would feel that.

"It's generally ze same, but zere are many lands here zat stand out from ze normal Earth. Candied Island, ze origin land of ze many Candy Tribes, is vone of them. Zere is also Lilliput, home of tiny humans, and Brobdingnag, home of ze Giant humans."

"Oh yeah, Aeincha is from Lilliput, isn't she!" Haylee beamed.

"I recall your parents also fought a villain called Big Brother." Heinie said. "He is a Giant from Brobdingnag."

"Really?" Chris asked.

"Big Brother got lost at sea vone day and ended up in Virginia. He didn't fit in vell vith normal children, and zey teased him, so he decided to become the big bully you see today. And even joined ze supervillains to further hurt smaller children."

"Too bad he couldn't take a few lessons from Mocha." Dillon commented.

"SNIIIIIIFF." No aroma smelled sweeter in Haylee's nose. "I smell it… Cake… cookies… brownies… syrup… baked GOODS… It's Candied Island!!"

"Hm hm hm!" Heinie giggled. "Candied Island's is ze strongest odor in ze sub-world. Ze Lilliputians have ze strongest sense of smell, and zey're kinda annoyed vhen Candied reaches."

"At least that means it's easy to find." Aurora said. "I just wonder if Panini's still hanging in there. Not digesting your food for 2 days is pretty uncommon."

"But it is not impossible in Big Mom's case. Vhen I vas a child, she ate 10 hamburgers and had zem in her belly for 2 veeks. Panini is a strong-willed girl from vhat I read from Ace's letters about you guys. Panini is sure to last longer."

"I thought Ace had no idea where you were, how did he send you letters?" Haylee asked.

"Oh, ve used messenger birds. Much more reliable, almost. Zough I suppose now's the chance to tell me of any new adventures uphand."

"Did he tell about when Mason was tiny-?" Carol asked giddily, until Mason silenced her.

"Well, we have one, but it'll take way too much time to tell." Haylee replied.

"Vell, I have something to look forward to. Oh, look! Ze clouds are turning purple!" Indeed, the gray clouds from minutes earlier were gone like that, and strange purple clouds filled the heavens. "…And zere it is!" Their faces lit with astonishment: the paradise they've only heard in stories lay in their view. A landscape that made them hungry just looking at it, a forest of candycanes and lollipops, houses made of gingerbread, rivers of chocolate and frosting with marshmallows (typical), and great gigantic, colorful cakes for mountains, with frosting melting from the top (posing as waterfalls), and enormous candles creating the purple clouds in the sky.

"Mmmm…" Sheila appeared glum.

"Vhat's wrong, Sheila?" Heinie asked.

"Siiigh… a place like this is any adventurer's dream. And now that we're finally here… it just don't feel as exciting. Finding that place they debated was real just kills your whole motivation."

"Sigh, ja… ze reality is, zis place is easy to find, if you are lucky. Aside from being in a sub-dimension, it's placed like any other land. Still, I used to live here vith Big Mam, so I couldn't be as excited as anyvone else about zis place. But zat's part of the reason I left. Vhen I still adventured vith Abby, vhen I vas trying to make her ze caramels' victim, it vas ze time of my life. Knowing zere vas a much bigger vorld beside this little bit, knowing zere vere all sorts of exotic candies and places… zat vas the best part of trying to heal my own curse. And meeting Ace… made it so much better."

"Yeh… adventuring's always better with someone to do it with." Sheila smiled.

"Ze point is, Sheila, even zough this place is a proven fact, it shouldn't stop from finding ozer places to explore. A candy hunter solely could get you so little places. You must be more open, and search other things."

"Yeh, Ah'm gettin' sick of candy, anyway."

"I know I am. Zat's vhy I vould like zis candy-coated nightmare to be done."

"Uh-oh! The sugarheads are already on us!" Aurora yelled, seeing Nutter Flutters (birds of chocolate and nuts) flying at them from the cake mountains, as well as a few candy ships sailing around the shore.

"You kids must defeat Big Mom." Henrietta said, drawing her sword. "Her base is up on Whole Cake Mountain like you see zere. Her associates vill be vaiting, too, so get ready to fight them."

"Oh, we're more than ready!" Haylee smirked. "We're ready to shower 2 days' worth of training on them!"

"And this time, we'll be keeping up with Sheila." Harry assured.

"Good, 'cause I ain't waitin' for ya!" Sheila yelled.

"Ve'll protect the ship." Heinie told them. "Just go ahead of us."

"All aboard the Bubble Boat!" Jessie announced, he and Sandy already on said boat.

"OI'M FIRST!" Sheila hopped on excitedly. Once the others were onboard, Jessie whooshed his wand and flew the boat directly for the shore. "WOOHOO!"

"Sheila, wait!" Their captain already jumped off, forcing the others to join.

"Here we goooooo!" Jessie and Sandy's cries echoed in the distance, far along the way to Whole Cake Mountain.

"Sheila, we coulda rode them the rest of the way!" Mason yelled. "Why did you jump off??"

"This may be our last adventure as Raccoon Pirates, and I want it to be old-natural! We may be here to stop Big Mom, but as pirates, we need to pillage and plunder! Which is a form of adventuring."

"Sheila… you're absolutely right." said Mason.

"Such a suck-up." Haruka remarked.

"I would follow her, too." a Hispanic voice said. They whipped around and saw Augustus standing at the base of Candycane Grove.

"You!" Haruka formed a slight purple cloud.

"Relax. I'm not here to fight." Augustus said coolly, sucking on a lollipop. "I just wanted to congratulate you. You made it far for a couple of runts."

"Well, you should know how far runts can run, Gus." Haylee told him.

"From you, Haylee, especially. That's why, I wanted to ask you to join us. Even as Kids Next Door, I know that deep down, a candy paradise like this is one you could only imagine. That's why when Big Mom invited me here, I couldn't resist. I wasn't getting anywhere with my own mom. Probably 'cause she was afraid or something."

"Is THAT why you left?" Haylee asked. "Wasn't it for the Candy Virus?"

"Oh, I'm already aware that my mom lost the virus. It's Big Mom I'm trying to help. After a while here, Candied Island gets boring, I will admit. But did you know there's an even GREATER paradise out there? One far greater than Candied Island, and candy as far as the eye can see! Can you guess what it is? The one, true, Candied Planet!"

"A whole planet made of candy? That's… I don't know what to say!" Haylee beamed lovingly.

"I know! And that's why I wanted you to join us. Once Big Mom has that cake, she can take us to the promised land! A sugar-coated paradise where only one of pure sugar could take us! That's why I followed Big Mom. In a world where Candied Island exists, what universe wouldn't have a Candied Planet!"

"Blimey… a whole planet like that… that'd open WAY more adventures." Sheila smiled. "But at the same time… I don't think that's what Big Mum is about. She don't 'ave the same spirit, from what I see."

"Well, I see it clearly! Generations of candy hunters run in our veins, forever seeking candies yet to be discovered! Big Mom has never let me down, so I know she won't now!"

"Well, regardless of her intentions… she kind of ate our mate. So I have to kick her arse for that, eh?" Sheila fist-palmed.

"If that's what you want, then I'll have to stop you, too. I'll go let the crewmen know you're coming." He performed a series of mighty leaps across the trees.

"Why are teens automatically more agile?" Harry asked.

"So are we." Sheila said. "Let's explore this place and kick Big Mum's bum!"

"You hardly even kick, Sheila, it's all punching." Aurora remarked.

"It's kicking with your fists. Let's just go!"

"And YOU two, hurry up with my animals!" Carol yelled.

Two Spinach Men hurriedly rowed over on boats, stepping off and carrying the crate of mini animals. "This whole technique is more complicated than it's worth!" They panted, trying to follow the crew as they ventured. (Play the "Chocolate Room" Theme from the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory game.)

Final stage: Candied Island

Mission: Defeat the Big Mom Pirates and stop their evil plans!

Act 1

The kids disembarked and started their quest through Candycane Grove, where Shy Guys were harvesting the trees for lollipops. Some of the Shy Guys walked on candycane stilts and used them to kick jawbreakers lying on the ground. Chris kicked the jawbreakers away and punched fireballs, while Sheila punched Light Spheres, but the Shy Guys kicked them away as well. Kirie defeated the first one simply by climbing up its stilts and kicking it down, so the others followed her example.

They came to an open area where the path continued above a high ledge, and many Stilt Guys roamed around at different heights, with the highest one being a few feet below the ledge. Carol tossed money on the ground and attracted the Shy Guys, guiding them to line in a row from shortest to tallest, starting from a small platform across from the higher. With that, it was just a matter of jumping the stairs of Stilt Guys.

They made it up and followed a clear path through the woods, ambushed by Tediz who jumped out from the trees. The team evaded their guns as Kirie tossed flower shurikens to slice their stuffing, leaving Artie to fly inside the openings and release mini maggots to start eating the stuffing from the inside. They reached a small pit with chocolate lava, and had to swing across leaning candycanes via Licoropes to reach the next path.

They soon reached a classic chocolate creek with their favorite big marshmallows flowing down from a javafall. The marshmallows weren't big and bouncy enough to get them up the javafall, so they bounced to another foothold on the other side to get some Shrink Sweets (except for Artie, who could already fly even). Once minimized, the marshmallows became a lot bouncier, and allowed them to bounce up the javafall as they were coming down. They continued bouncing up the chocolate river while in their miniaturized state, while Spy Guys jumped around the marshmallows to shoot the minis with slingshots.

Sheila was strong enough to punch the Spy Guys off with Light Spheres, as usual, and Artie helped by shooting them off with mini lasers. They made it to a clear path on the left of the river, and ate some Growth Gum to grow back. Meanwhile, Carol's two spinach aids climbed a cliff on the side of the javafall using spinach ropes, and were able to catch up with them, still weary from carrying the crates. The new path led them to a snowy area, where, you guessed it, the snow was vanilla ice cream. There was a small pond of normal water, only it was very cold. A snowman was built, so Sheila knocked it down to begin rolling its bottom snowball. When it was large enough, she pushed it over the pond to freeze a path for them.

They approached the base of a hill divided in four flavors, vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, and green tea (which I guess would be considered the "fifth flavor", since- ;P). Giant snowballs of those flavors were rolling down, inconsecutively so the kids could dodge around them. The top of the hill had four Tongue Ones spitting the ice cream balls out, but the flavors didn't match their tongues. The cream balls rolled down from a hill behind the Tongue Ones' wall, and on both sides of the hilltop were two bolts, vanilla and chocolate on the left, and strawberry and green on the right. Haylee stuck her wrench over each bolt to crank it, moving the respective colored tongue. She aligned all tongues with their flavored snowball, and their tasty sensations returned. "THAAAANK YOOOU." They stuck their tongues out as Fudgepuffsicles were placed on them. The kids happily bit a Puffsicle (except Artie, and Carol once again rode Mason) and let the wind breeze them to a snowing ice cream cake mountain. The Spinach Helpers, however, hurried their way to the mountain on foot.

The kids were on a small ledge where mini vanilla balls rolled out of a hole in the wall, apparently piling on a snow dune. Chris melted the snow with fire, revealing a hidden Bouncemallow, which bounced the snowballs over the higher ledge, where they just plopped on the ground. There were many more snow piles here, so Chris melted them all to reveal Bouncemallows under some of them. They placed one in the spot where the snowballs landed, letting them bounce to another barren area between two thin stalagmites. They grabbed another marshmallow and stuck it between the two stones, the top aiming left at an angle so the snowballs bounced between two more. They placed marshmallows between two more stalagmite sets, eventually bouncing them into a Tongue One on the mountainside. "Thaaaank yoooou."

The face unleashed a breath of ice that froze two parallel waterfalls just over the edge. With that, they could Wall Jump up the two falls and reach the mountaintop. They found a lake of chilly water and no way across, but an ice-blue, block platform sat in the middle-right. Sheila spun a sphere and punched it, and it revealed to be a Sunshine Caramel as it created an ice course illusion. The path directed left, to right, then to the other side. They first had to jump up some steps onto a ledge, but as if by magic, they were forced to skate on the ice, making jumps difficult. Once on the ledge, they had to jump small platforms over icy spikes, so as one could imagine, their slip-ups resulted in spiked behinds. In this case, Mason and Chris. But Artie, however, flew over all that. Lucky little fly. :P

In the last corner turn was a Rock Candy bushel, so they each took a bite to encase in a sphere. They sped down a hill over the ending ledge, then the hill waved upward as they rolled right, having to jump gaps in the narrow road. The road spiraled around a vertical ice cream mountain, and as they rolled along, they formed swirls around the giant sweet, before launching off at the top. They landed on another road and made a few turns before they landed on a frosting path. They saw they were on Whole Cake Mountain, and this path led to a cave entrance. But they couldn't step close until someone surprised them. (End song.)

"Hoy-HOYYYYY!" They looked above the cave's entrance as Sir Knightly leaped down. "WASSUP, my frieeeeeends!"

"It's Knightly!" Haruka yelled, the team getting in fighting poses.

"Welcome to Whole Cake Mountain, yooooo! You stand at the entrance of BIG MOM'S secret lair! A lair which I'm not supposed to speak about!"

"…"

"…Oh. …Did I tell all that to you?"

"YES."

"Forgot to bring my Cucco."

"HOW DOES THAT EFFECT IT?"

"YOOOOU WILL NOT GET PAST MEEEE. IIIII know karatowuando!" He got in a pose. "Iiiii will kick your BUTT, and seeee you NEVER get by here."

"Excellent!" Chris marched forward. "I've been looking for another workout." His palms alit.

"AAAAH! I-I was just kidding! Uh- YEEEEEK!" He dashed up the right wall and was gone.

"HEY!" Chris leapt onto that wall and chased him across a valley. (Play the Enemy Theme from the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory game.)

Chris chased Knightly across a small yard of candycane crops, just under the mountains as giant globs of icing came down. Sir Knightly dashed up one of the vertical mountainsides, and Chris followed while sprouting flames behind him from his fists. Sir Knightly was quick enough to run up on his own, causing cake-rocks to fall that Chris had to dodge. Knightly made it onto a slope that spiraled around the mountain, rushing quick as he could to escape Chris's wrath. Knightly leaped high over giant icing balls, which Chris punched through with flaming fists, and jumped over broken gaps in the ground.

Knightly slid down a thin, slippery slope of icing, divided in many routes that Chris navigated carefully to avoid the chasms. The slide dropped them off into a close trench that Knightly Wall Jumped across (his body vertical, and arms and legs squeezed in, as he fluttered his fingers and toe-ends with each jump). Chris did the same (well not the flutter part), having to avoid pits of java in the wall. The trench became wider as they jumped slippery ice cream platforms over java, with Knightly causing them to topple, making it a bit harder for Chris. Finally, Knightly made it to a foothold with a cave, and Chris chased him inside.

Knightly kept running, but panicked when the cave stopped at a dead end. "STOP there!" He whipped around, seeing Chris. "Think you could outrun me? I'm not the pushover I was before. I'll kick that armored BUTT this time!" He lit his hands.

"Ohhhhh. Will you?" Knightly pushed a button on the wall.

A trapdoor opened below Chris's feet. "AAAAAHH!" It closed.

"Oh-… He go bye-bye. Well then… time to bake that cake!" He whistled and walked off nonchalantly. (End song.)

Back with the others

"Should we go after him, too?" Aurora asked.

"Naaah, he's doin' his own thing. We got a mountain to explore!" Sheila cheered. "Let's go, mates!" And so, they rushed into the chocolate cave.

"It's awfully dark in here." Artie said, flying forward carefully to be weary of his path. "You don't think there're candy spiders, do you?"

"I heard about Wriggle Sweets." Haylee panted. "They come close."

"So what's the plan, anyway?" Dillon asked. "Find the baking room, wreck it, and feed Big Mom the shrunken White Asparagus?"

"Oi, if this cobber's up to the task." Sheila pulled out the mini asparagus. "But no wreckin' the bakery! I want a taste o' that cake, too!"

"But won't you just get cursed like Sherry did?" Harry asked.

"Not if we eat little bits! That was the plan!"

"To be honest, I wanna eat that cake, too." Haylee said. "But we shouldn't let Big Mom get it either way."

"But it's probably already almost done. And this place is so huge, not to mention all the officers." Artie mentioned.

"We can take 'em!" Mason smirked confidently. "We're ready this time!"

The cave became brighter when they entered a round room that went up a few floors, with the next hall across from them. Mason gasped, "Look out!", his friends stopping when Fat Jack crashed in the center.

"Not so fast, ahhhh thought you kids learned by now."

"Great. This guy, too." Haruka glared.

"You gonna pay for smashin' mah ship. Ah had a lot-a candies in that, ahhhh, was savin' for later."

"I'll like to see that flabby belly whoop all a' us!" Sheila fist-palmed.

"Just leave him to me, guys." Mason offered, stepping in front. "The rest of you should worry about the other commanders. Not waste time with this junk."

"But can you really beat 'im by yourself?" Haruka asked.

"If I don't have you all to distract me, sure."

"My thoughts exactly!" Sheila perked. "Time to get on with exploring, cobbers! Don't expect us to wait for you, Mate!" The others ran around Fat Jack and down the next hall. The Spinach Helpers panted tirelessly as they tried to keep up with the crew, still carrying the boxes.

"So, ahhhhh, you survive my squishing, ahhhh." Jack noticed.

"Yes, and I haven't even taken my bath, yet. Which, in my case, means you should watch yourself." Mason smirked. "Just how does someone GET so heavy, anyway?"

"When they eat much, much, much like I have. And I ate the Weight-Weight Fruit, ahhhh, I can alter mah own body weight from 15 nanograms, ahhhh to kajillion mega lbs. So therefore I can attain any sort of speed and floatability ahnd stuff."

"Well, there goes my suggestion to take fitness classes. Not that you'd listen."

"Probly not, ahhhhh, though the food I eat still adds to my weight. All the swimmin' good grub that I eat makes me fat, ahhhh, and people go squishy squishy when I, ahhh, do as such."

"You're not going squishy squishy on me. If you haven't guessed, food makes ME stronger, too. As a poisonbender, I get empowered by foods with unnatural chemicals, or that generally make you gassy. Henceforth, my FAVORITE beverage is-" He whipped open his sweater, and strapped around the inside were many cans of- "SODA! The fizziest, gassiest liquid on the shelves! I stocked up on plenty before we left, but I never had a chance to use my arsenal until now! So let's see who can guzzle more!"

"Ahh yeah? Le's see you talk, after big ol' Fat Jack gets ta fartin' on you, ahhhhh, you little gas mouth." (Play "Dragon Chef's Belly" from Rayman Origins.)

Boss fight: Fat Jack

Fat Jack jumped in attempt to smash Mason, but he dodged aside and chugged two sodas, burping Gas Bombs at Jack. Jack withstood the attacks and lunged at Mason, punching the boy away. He looked up when Jack jumped at him headfirst, so he flipped upside-down, aimed his butt directly at Jack's face, and blasted a powerful Fart Bomb that sent Jack across the room. The chubby pirate lied down and rolled at Mason, but the boy jumped and shot gas clouds, which Jack recovered and inhaled through his mouth. Mason chugged more soda and burped more Gas Bombs, which Jack caught inside his mouth. "Ahhhh… don't you know? The Weight-Weight Fruit gives me control of my internal gases. As light as helium, or a heavy load of acid… I can send it all right back, ahhhhh."

Mason blew a Bounce Gum and bounced onto Jack's face, sticking his mouth shut. "Yeah, well poisonbending lets me control ALL gases, including yours." He smirked. "Get ready for a wild hangover." He gripped Jack's belly with both hands, furiously spinning the gas Mason blasted inside him. He also spun Jack's digestive acids, bunching them all together and compressing them. "Saaay boom!" He released, jumped away, and let the gas POP inside his belly, causing Jack to puke, only for the barf to get stuck behind the gum covering his mouth.

"Mmmmm!" Jack ripped the gum off and desperately coughed out all the puke. This allowed Mason to grab it in his bending and smack Jack's face with a Barf Fist. He then grabbed him by the head in the fist and tossed him across the room.

"Ahhhh… I don't just got a lot of gas. Ahhh'm sugaaaared with sweets." With that, Fat Jack tossed a Shrink Sweet in his mouth and minimized. Mason kept his guard this time, dodging as the tiny man lunged like a bullet. After one dodge, he grabbed Jack and threw him to the ground, attempting to crush him under his shoe. Fat Jack's enhanced weight prevented Mason from adding pressure, and the tiny chubby thrusted up and sent Mason to the air. Fat Jack became light and flew up with him, shooting at him from all directions and beating him around until he fell to the ground. Fat Jack ate a Growth Gum and returned to normal, and while Mason was still on his front, Fat Jack leapt high above, ready to squish him with full force. "You'll become flapjack, ahhhhh."

"Gnnn… Flurp hasn't failed me now." Mason quickly pulled out a Blue Flurp and chugged it down. He felt Fat Jack's shadow increasing around him, so he quickly channeled the gas in his stomach and sent it to his rear. Jack came down as fast as he could, but Mason shot a fart stronger than he's ever done, a straight ray of gas that kept Jack above him. Mason kept the gas going, and channeled enough force to send a Gas Bomb that blew Jack away.

"Siiiigh…" Mason weakly helped himself up. "That kinda backfired on me, ooh. …" He gripped his stomach. "My mom sure won't appreciate this."

"Ahhhh." Fat Jack got up. "You think that's enough to shtump me? Ah'll drown you in the batter, ahhhh." So Jack jumped and jumped, increasing his weight each time, and after the third time, he shook the room with enough force to make cake batter flow in through the walls. "Get ready to be drowned and baked, ahh. See you upstairs." He flew straight up like a rocket, using his farts. Mason only smirked and drank another soda, mimicking Jack's actions and flying up the shaft with a Fart Rocket. On the way up, Fat Jack slowed down and tried to ram Mason, but Mason flew higher, kicked Jack's face briefly, and flew up higher.

They landed on a thin ring around the wall partway up the shaft, and Jack punched a button that closed the gap. "Ahhhh. Maybe you need run you down, ahhhh." Fat Jack ate a Rock Candy, but instead of throwing the remains to the ground, he ate it as well, causing the spherical crystal to puff inside him. Mason sort of flinched at the sight, but Jack merely became more round as he started furiously rolling around the room.

Mason tried to avoid, but Jack controlled his speed with his power, and kept rolling and rolling and running Mason over. "Hurrrr!" Mason saw a Rock Candy bushel across the room and tried to run to it, but Fat Jack crushed him under his rocky weight, his face now over Mason's head.

"You's-a can't poison me, 'cause rock be blockin' my tunnels, ahhhh."

"I can't imagine you'd breathe very well with that thing."

"Ahhhh I have fairly strong lungs."

"Well I don't, so if you'll excuse me-" Mason burped a Gas Bomb directly at the ground, blowing them both off and injuring himself slightly. He recovered quickly and ran to bite the Rock Candy, encasing himself and defending when Fat Jack rolled over. The two zipped around and around the room, Mason ramming Jack's face a few times, but it hardly did much as Jack pushed Mason away with greater force, eventually breaking his rock. "Geeeh! I can't break his crystal with his flabby skin blocking it. Maybe I should try…" He pulled out some Silver Flurp and drank away. "WOOOOO!! AM I LOOKIN' GOOD, YOU GUYS? I LOOK GREAT!!" He wore his frantic face and wide grin. "WAAAAAA!"

Fat Jack kept trying to ram him, but Mason moved too fast for him to catch. Mason rapidly grabbed a Rock Candy and encased himself again, rolling faster and faster as Jack couldn't keep up. Before he knew it, the spherical crystal slammed Jack's face like a meteor, forcing him against the wall and breaking his own crystal. "AHHHHhhhhhhhh." Mason continued rolling against Jack, his frantic expression unchanging as he aimed to be pushing the pirate through the wall. He succeeded, sending Jack flying into a vast underground room with chocolate lava. Jack landed on a foothold, and Mason shot into the room and broke his crystal on another foothold.

"Ohhhh…" The Silver Flurp wore off, making Mason dizzy. "I thought that might happen… Boy, I wish I landed in a better place."

"Too bad." Fat Jack recovered on his foothold. "Now I'm gonna squishes you, ahhhhh." Fat Jack began jumping around the platforms and making them crumble under his weight. He finally leapt to Mason's, who was still too dizzy to attack him. "But perhaps yommy chocolate for my tommy, ahhhh." Fat Jack pulled out a Fudgepuffsicle and ate, puffing like a balloon as he slowly floated upward.

Mason looked around nervously, seeing no way to go as his platform was sinking. "My pelvis's getting too weak for farts… but I'll have to make due." He drank another soda, and Fart Rocketed to grab Jack's puffy hand.

"Ahhhh let go, ahhhh." Fat Jack increased his weight and fell slightly, but quickly lightened and floated up, only for Mason to still hang on.

"Not gonna let go of me! If I fall, you go with me!"

"Ahhhh." Fat Jack decided to keep floating up as Mason climbed onto his faced-up belly, able to squat down and search Jack's jacket pocket.

"You have to have a few in here…. Aha!" He acquired a bottle of Fizzy Lift Soda. He drank the soda and began to float himself, flying to the narrow route in the wall. "You mighta had a better time drinking THAT!"

"I was going to later, ahhhh."

"Well, the early worm spots the bird!" Fat Jack chased Mason into the corridor, making himself like a rubber ball as he bounced between the walls, catching up to and attempting to knock Mason down. Mason grabbed Jack's hand, flipped onto his belly, and kicked him hard enough to push him downward. "He ha!" He flew to the safe ground at the end.

Fat Jack burped the Puffsicle thanks to Mason's kick, but lightened his weight still and kicked up the walls, making it to the path Mason was. He already appeared gone down the hall, so he rolled down to catch up, but the minute he entered a room, Mason burped a Gas Bomb that damaged him upon entry.

"Enough, ahhhh. Now I show you, how FAT Ah really am." He grabbed a few chunks off the chocolate wall and gobbled 'em up, and he seemed to increase in roundness. Actually, he looked more like a flabby blob. "Ahhhhhhhhh." He leaped straight through the ceiling, very high in the air and light of weight despite his flabby exterior. Mason tried to run away, but Fat Jack burst through the ceiling, smashed Mason, and broke them through the floor, all the way down a long dark shaft until they ended up in an underground cave with ice-cream-cone stalactites.

Mason got squished under the man's unbearable weight, desperately struggling to breathe. "Ahhhh one last squish should do it. Good luck tryin' to fart this, ahhhhh." He jumped all the way back up the shaft, and dropped down with more weight.

Mason felt like a bug that was just crudely stomped on, with only a few seconds to live. And he probably did only have a few seconds, for another Ground Pound from Jack would leave him a splat puddle of blood and guts. With what little strength he had, he raised his left arm and reached into his pocket. "'Guess I don't have… any other choice. It's time for… the Gold Flurp!" He pulled out another soda can that was solid gold. Fat Jack would reach him in seconds, but it took all his strength to crack the can open, move it to his mouth, and weakly pour it in. The soda didn't flow in his mouth for long before Fat Jack crashed down with incredible force.

"Nnnnn… ahhhh?" He felt no lump under his pompous body, wondering if Mason escaped. Or if he just couldn't feel him. However, when the smoke cleared, Jack saw a figure in front of him. Mason stood with another wide, creepy grin, head twitching as his blood-sugar levels spiraled out of control. Fast as light, Mason vanished, and before Jack knew it, he was PUNCHED straight in the stomach, making his flabby body wave like half-solid goo. "Ahhhck." He coughed some spit out. Just as fast, Mason swung his leg upward, kicked Jack to the air, and SHOT his leg into his crotch area. "Ahhhh!" His eyes watered. Jack wasn't even sure what was down there.

Jack crashed back on the ground as Mason landed on his feet. "HEYJACKIEYOUEVERBEENONASUGARRUSHLIKETHISTHISISTHEFIRSTTIMEFORMEANDITFEELSGREAT IFEELLIKEI'MGONNAEXPLODEBUTHEYMYBLOODISWICKEDPUMPED IFEELLIKEICANJUMPOFFABUILDINGANDBEOKAY!" Mason zipped from all directions and kicked Jack anywhere he could.

"Ahhhh! No one's ever been able to punch through my fat before. I need to loosen up." He made himself light to make Mason's punches ineffective. However:

"Yooooouuu FELL FOR IIIIIIT!" Mason grabbed his little hand and swung him around and around, into the cone stalactites.

"Nnnnmmm!" The cones didn't pierce Jack's flabby exterior, but that was when Mason frantically searched Jack's pockets.

"WHATDIDHAYLEESAYWASTHEDANGEROFFUDGEPUFFSICLES?"

Mason found a Fudgepuffsicle and shoved it into Jack's mouth.

"Sheeeeee SAIDITWOULDMAKEYOUGOPOPPYYYY!"

Fat Jack's eyes widened as his body became bigger and rounder than before. He had the weight of a balloon, with the sharp cones already piercing his smooth belly. "Ah-oh."

A fierce strum of Mexican horns boomed as the bulky balloon exploded with all of Jack's ingested materials. Chewed and digested candies, now in the form of colorful goop, covered almost the whole chamber. The slobbery supplier was a huge, overpumped balloon that was now deflated and flat. The Golden Flurp wore off as Mason weakly stood with tired eyes. "I think I would've gone with fat camp." Mason limped down the cave that led out of the room. He was gonna be sick for weeks. (End song.)

Once upon a time, there was a little Mexican boy named Jackie Golos, who loved to eat candy. He ate and ate, and got terribly fat. So fat, that the other kids teased him. To fulfill his lust for candy, he sought Candied Island, and joined the Big Mom Pirates, given the Weight-Weight Fruit to adjust his own weight. In his hometown, he was nicknamed Fat Jack.

With the others

The other Raccoons kept running and arrived at a room connecting five different hallways. "Ten bucks says Big Mom's down the center one." Dillon said.

Indeed, the center hall was labeled Throne Chamber. The others were Filing Room, Inventing Room, Captain's Quarters, and Bakery. And they had a good idea which crewmen were down which path. "Just split up, secure the whole place!" Aurora announced.

"WE CALL INVENTING ROOM!" The Gilligans rushed down that way. Aurora followed the Captain's Quarters, Kirie smelled the yummy goods and followed the Bakery, while Sheila and Haruka dashed to the Throne Chamber.

"Aren't you going?" Dillon asked Carol.

"In a minute."

"Huff! Huff! Huff!" The Spinach Helpers caught up again. "Okay." They took a bit to catch their breaths, "Where next?"

"This way!" Carol rushed down the Filing Room. "Dillon, go help Kirie in the Bakery, she might need it!" The soldiers still panted as they followed.

'Course, Dillon figured someone else needed him more.

Haruka and Sheila

Haruka tried her best to keep up as her raccoon captain was faster than ever on her feet. "Sheila, shouldn't we come up with a plan? Big Mom's virus might be greater than your average Demon Sweet. If she infects you, I can't promise I can heal."

"Oh, Oi trust you, Haruka." She smiled. "You're a bloomin' beast with those poisons."

"You give me too much. I just don't want to underestimate her. She's on Davy Jones's level."

"Pfft, Jones wasn't that tough, and neither was Mandy. I'll whoop her can!"

Haruka eye-rolled, "Makin' with the synonyms, huh?"

The duo came to a halt when a Stilt Guy platoon dropped from the ceiling. They aimed slingshots, but a rope whipped from behind and pulled the stilts down, while Bubble Torpedoes sailed and knocked the Shy Guys out. "There you guys are!" Sandy exclaimed.

"Why the f*** did you jump off my boat? ?" Jessie yelled.

"HE CUSSED!" they screamed.

"He doesn't mean it." Sandy whimpered.

"WE UNDERSTAND."

"Now hurry up! Big Mom's room's just this way!" Jessie said.

"Let's go!" Sandy declared. The first-graders ran ahead as the two followed.

Bakery Hall

I smell cookies, I smell cookies, I smell cookies! Kirie was never more determined to satisfy the smell in her nose. Is it HERE?? She burst in a left door.

The three-eyed woman, Lala ate a chocolate chip cookie off her table, her three toneless eyes blinking at Kirie (inconsecutively). "I'm afraid, not for you."

EEEEEK! ALIEN! Kirie's hair stood straight.

"I'm not an alien. My name is Lala Stork, and I'm a normal human like you or… well, I guess I shouldn't call either of us normal."

Stork? You wouldn't know anyone named… BARTIE, would you?

"You know my brother?"

BROTHER??

"Hmm… I guess you do. I used to live with him in Kansas before I ran away. You can probably guess why."

Is it your hair?

"No…"

Butt too big?

"What?- No!"

… Kirie looked closer. Do you have a snake tongue?

"NO, you idiot, it's my eye! The one on my FOREHEAD??"

Ohhhhh! I thought it looked too big.

"What does that- Ugh… just listen. I was born with two eyes like everyone else, except I had a forehead eye instead of a left one. I was picked on a lot, as you might guess, so I ran away and ended up getting captured by a man called Caesar Clown. He delivered me to Big Mom, and he gave me this Eye-Eye Fruit. Thanks to that, I acquired a natural left eye, which lets me look at people's memories. But in Big Mom's crew, I actually feel like a normal person. I fit in more."

Whaddo you mean?

"Each of us in Big Mom's crew ran away or were banished from where we lived. We all have certain desires that Big Mom is helping us to fulfill, and pasts she's helping us heal from. Growing up in Kansas, I learned that people who are different can never fit in with regular people, only their own kind. I noticed the same thing with Bartie's friend, Virginia. True, metahumans and benders are a bit more accepted now, but people like me who are creepy to look at, or people like you whom they'll have trouble talking to… in time, your friends may just lose interest. I wonder how many of them actually pay attention to you."

Hey, MY friends love me, and I love them! You mighta had some too if ya STUCK around!

"Why bother doing that, when the Big Mom Pirates were always open. Anyway… I can't let you go freely, so I'll have to fight you. Be warned that my eyes rarely let anything slip. As quick and nimble as you are, I can easily track your movements. You stand no chance alone."

Oh, I'm not alone… Kirie thought to herself.

After leaving her friends, Kirie Beatles flew to Loompa Land's ruins, with the guidance of her secret friends. She searched the ruins curiously, and called out, "HELLOOOO? Are you still heeeere?"

"I am." Kirie smiled as a familiar, chubby old man, with a bald scalp and grey beard, presented himself as a blue spirit. "How could I ignore such a lovely voice." Iroh smiled.

"How can you hear me, again?"

"The spirits hear all voices, even the ones that seem silenced. While you are not speaking out loud, I can sense everything you are saying. But why have you returned, Kirie?"

"Those mean pirates beat up me and my friends, so now we have to train. And not like 'potty train', 'cause we're like WAY old for that, but like fighting you know, and I just felt like coming here."

"You were wise in returning here. Your family, the Sanbans always had strong connections with the Spirit World for generations. Those Rainbow Monkeys, you see, are spirits, too. They only chose to present their selves to your mother, and showed themselves to others upon her request. They also had the power to tame certain spirit creatures, and you do, too. With your silent voice, you can convey messages that others would not be able to hear, and you can always have someone to talk to."

"Does my mom know how to do it?"

"No… she never had the chance to learn. I would have showed her myself, had I known before my time came. But my business in the Mortal World was done, and I trust my successor to take care of the White Lotus for me. But it seems I still have duties even after ascending. I will be happy to teach you of your spiritual connection. And I know you will be able to help your friends."

Kirie smiled and closed her eyes, folding her hands together. Out of thin air, a blue One-Free-Punch Rainbow Monkey appeared, unseen by Lala. The monkey spun its fist and PUNCHED the girl clear in the face, making Lala fall backward. "Ow!" She got back up, holding her nose. "Hmph… can't say I saw what you did there. But it won't work for long. My eyes can see all… and they'll see your defeat. Be prepared to fall under my gaze." (Play the Shadow Sirens Boss Theme from Paper Mario: TTYD.)

Boss fight: Lala Stork

Kirie nimbly dodged as Lala fired flying eyes from her 3 eyes, then tossed flower shurikens to slice the mutant, but Lala evaded. Kirie danced and twirled to Lala to smack the girl with her sleeves, but Lala still dodged and blasted triple eyes at Kirie, knocking the girl back. Kirie closed her eyes and folded her hands to summon a few I'll-Protect-You Rainbow Monkeys, their strong backs providing a shield to block Kirie from the attacks. Lala was confused, still not seeing the spirits, and kept trying to blast her as Kirie danced her way to her. She attempted another triple-blast, but Kirie flipped over and KICKED the back of Lala's head.

But when Lala's head turned, Kirie flinched at her whole face having become an eye, which blinked. When Kirie landed, she was suddenly surrounded by a sea of eyes, spiraling around and around in infinity. "The Eye-Eye Fruit lets me record everyone's memories I look at, and a single glance at my Great Eye will have you lost in a sea of memories. Let's look at one of Stewie's funny memories."

Kirie appeared in Stewie's room in his house, seeing a small, frowning turtle on the floor. Kirie smiled brightly and approached to hold the turtle, but the evil animal punched her and flipped onto his back legs, drawing a knife. Kirie frightfully dodged the knife and grabbed the turtle's arm, trying to take the knife, but the turtle flipped, kicked her in the face, and knocked her back. When he lunged to stab, a Prevents-A-Mean-Turtle-From-Stabbing-With-A-Knife Rainbow Monkey held the turtle back and threw it against the wall. Kirie smiled in gratitude, and with an evil grin, jumped over to start jumping on the turtle like Mario.

The turtle puffed back into Lala as the dizzy girl rubbed her head. She vanished again as Kirie was back in the sea of eyes, having to dodge as giant eyes flew at her. Lala then appeared behind and tried to grab her, but Kirie dodged and tossed her sharp fans at Lala's waist, scratching her dress. "I wonder what kind of memories you have?" Lala said. "I'd like to have a look."

Kirie denied her and jumped to kick in the face, but Lala poofed in a puff of smoke once again. Kirie was taken to a memory of Chris's, when he and the Decom. Squad battled the Teen Ninjas. A swarm of ninjas jumped out and lunged at her, and Kirie quickly dodged and kicked them, watching them puff into smoke. She watched as Shade poofed out of smoke, and immediately figured Lala was in her form. Kirie flipped over to try and hit the ninja, but Shade swiftly dodged with her Observation Haki and kicked Kirie across the face. Kirie got up and grabbed some ninjas jumping at her, throwing them at Shade, only to miss.

Since Kirie hadn't learned Observation Haki yet, she called on her Rainbow Monkeys for help. Helps-With-Future-Directions Rainbow Monkey appeared and held up flashcards instructing Kirie where to dodge. It read 'Left', so Kirie dodged left to evade Shade's kick, then 'Jumped' when Shade swung her foot back, then kicked at Shade's face when it said 'Face-Kick.' Shade still dodged, but the card also read 'Spin-Left', so Kirie spun left right after and succeeded in kicking Shade. Shade still recovered and swung furious punches and kicks at Kirie, but following the monkey's instructions, she dodged left, right, ducked, backed, jumped, flip-dodge, then tossed two flower shurikens. Shade dodged them, but Kirie pulled back on her strings to make the flowers come back and stick her.

Shade changed back into Lala as Kirie began to lay beatings on her. She warped them back in the sea of eyes as the giant eyes began to bounce around. She still dodged when they aimed to crush her, but flinched when she saw a giant eye open beneath her. Kirie ran around, but the eye stayed beneath her feet, and when it closed, everything went black. Kirie kept her eyes open, but essentially, her purple and green mismatched eyes were the only thing visible in this blackness. More unseen Lala eyes bounced at her, easily seeing the colored eyes, and Kirie ended up pelted against the ground.

The light flashed back to normal, but Kirie found herself in the middle of a raging war, between the 19th-century KND and Underworld demons, in the battle to acquire the Annoying Triplets' recipe. Neither army seemed to be focused on her, but she would never find Lala in this commotion. She folded her hands and summoned a band of Rainbow Monkeys. "You two, search the castle," she spoke in the voice only they could hear, "and you three search these soldiers, and you guys-"

Lala was disguised as a random soldier, watching as Kirie spoke to the invisible beings. While she wasn't certain, she studied Kirie's mouth movement. I see…

"Save your breath, Kirie." The mute jumped to attention when Lala presented herself willingly. "So that's your secret. Your voice is only heard by spirit friends who are helping you. An interesting power, but I've come prepared, too." She hovered a few feet above the ground and sprouted a larger body. They appeared in a vast realm with a dark-orange sky as Lala's body covered with eyes, all blinking individually.

The eyes brimmed with light that made Kirie shut her eyes, and revealed the Rainbow Monkeys. The eyes fired Retina Beams to knock the spirit monkeys out. "I told you nothing can evade my sight. Now whaddya say we get a look at those memories?"

Kirie was then surrounded by a bunch of eyes at different sizes, and tightly shut her own eyes. She ran around, but felt herself enclosed in the eyes, all charging beams to destroy her. But in the darkness of her closed eyes, the blue Rainbow Monkey presented itself. It was followed by a purple monkey, orange and green, and soon a colorful army of the friendly creatures. Kirie smiled at them all, and put on a battle-ready smirk.

The eyes blasted their rays at once, but were immediately pushed away by Rainbow Monkeys. Lala gaped in surprise when a swarm of Rainbow Monkeys presented their selves behind Kirie. CHAAAAARGE! The colorful apes ran forward and stormed the giant body of eyes, punching each and every one. Lala looked up and gasped when Kirie flew overhead and stabbed her fans into her face.

Kirie smirked, thinking she's one, but a pair of hands grabbed her shoulders from behind. "You fell for my trap." The world returned to normal as Kirie was turned to face Lala. "Now what could you be hiding." Despite Kirie's attempts at protest, Lala pressed her left eye to Kirie's right. (End song.)

A woman who looked to be Kirie's mother smiled and reached to pick up her daughter, raising her high as Kirie cheered joyously. Her mother was then placing a black-haired baby boy on the floor, and the two began to play with blocks together. The next memory showed Kirie drawing a picture of her family with crayons, but when she held it to her mom, Kuki, now a stern company president, walked by nonchalantly. The memory flashed to when Kirie was playing blocks with her brother, and she got up excitedly when Kuki returned home. The woman was tired, and paid no interest to her daughter still. Then she watched for a brief moment as Kirie fought Mr. Mogul's robot, and in the end, her mother hugged her warmly.

Lala released Kirie and backed away. The mute noticed the remorseful look in Lala's three eyes. "You look like you really care about your family."

Well, DOYYYY! Everyone should!

"…Ever since I ran away, my greatest regret was leaving my family. All the teasing I endured back home… Bartie was always supporting me. Just like he did Virginia. I wonder how he felt when I left…"

Well, if he thought you were leaving to the Rainbow Monkey store, probably pretty happy!

"Hm." Lala cracked a slight smile. "I wonder… why do your friends hang around you, even though they can't understand."

They get the general gist of what I'm saying. How do YOU understand?

"I studied sign-language, and my eyes make it easier. I just find it hard to believe… someone who stands out with no voice could have that many friends."

Come on, you know that some people in the Kids Next Door aren't even human? I don't think people even CARE about these things, anymore.

"…Things really have changed since I was young. I think I've been away long enough. Maybe I should return home, and… see my brother again."

Well, he kinda lives in Iceland now, but there's no harm in moving!

"Hm hm, yes! Anyway, I have Mr. Strowd locked up ahead, I'll let him out. But first… perhaps you should know what Big Mom is trying to do."

Hmm?

Baking Room

"Oiiii! Big Mom-samaaaa! The cake be almost done, seeee? It's bakin' gooood!" Sir Knightly exclaimed as a giant cake's silhouette was seen inside a massive burning oven.

"Excellent. You made sure that tool brought the icing, riiiight??"

"Ehhh… lessa me see that." He pulled out a whip and whipped Chef Pierre's bottom. "YOU BETTER HAVE THAT LA FORMACION DE HIELO O DE LO!"

"OWWW! YES, I have the icing! But I MUST inform you that I am FRENCH, not SPANISH!"

"Hooooh? Me was speaking Yoruba. You got all that, Momo-saaan?"

"Can it with the accents." Big Mom ordered. "As long as that cake gets finished. I must devour it before those Kids Next Door get to me. Those crummy officers better hold 'em off or I'LL mince them into crumbs. Which reminds me… I wonder what their hometown looks like by now. I expect Bobbin has already made it a sweet-filled wasteland, MA MA MA MAAAA!"

Cleveland, Virginia

The townspeople were still evacuating as their city was swarmed by legions of sugary monsters, mainly the Ho-ho Serpents that coughed acid cream from the sea. The peoples' only hope were the KND Armada, fighting the monsters with everything they've got. Cheren was bravely slaying monsters in their neighborhood, and dodged when an airwave flew at him. "What?"

"Not so fa-a-a-a-ast." Cheren looked to see a chubby being with a wide grin and face, thin mask where his small, wide eyes peeped through, black cowboy hat with a big white feather, and a large sword on his back. "I am Bobbi-i-i-in. Commander of Big Mom's Demon Sweets." His head shook rapidly as he spoke. "I take them to burn down countri-i-i-ies when they don't pay a du-u-ue. It's really fun." His mouth puffed a little, then "Boyoyoyon" shrunk back and vibrated to his laugh.

"You're not burning down anyone today." Cheren drew his Master Sword. "The Kids Next Door will win."

"Your end is near." He still grinned. "Big Mom will eat your frie-e-ends. And she'll eat all of you. Mmmm boyoyoyon."

"Heh. Oh yeah?" Cheren smirked. "We'll just see who has the bigger stomach. AAAAH!" He ran forth and clashed with Bobbin's huge sword.

Outskirts of town

There to ensure the destruction of Virginia was the Enraged Army. An army of diverse, colorful, and vengeful Big Mom Pirates came marching across the border. "The Kids Next Door dare to stand against the Big Mom Empire." said General Cracker, a huge, blocky man made of biscuits, wielding a large sword. "We'll show none of them mercy!"

"They don't seem to look very afraid." replied Daifuku, a muscular, blue-armored man with a large belt and blonde buzz-cut. He had a lamp design on his belt.

"This will only make things easier!" Oven smirked, another muscular man with bare abs, orange getup, heated gloves, and curved fiery hair.

Standing just a few miles ahead of them were the Kids Next Door. Sectors W, IC, W7, JP, SA, KB, RZ, and many others were ready to take the pirates down. "Don't let a single one get by!" Anthony declared.

"Eric, make sure you record every moment of our victory!" Melody cheered.

"You think we can win this, Nagisa?" Goombella asked.

"Positive! Don't hold back and let's win!"

"LET'S GOOOOOO!" Chimney screamed. ("Gyoooooom!" Gonbe called.)