World War Saitama: Part 7

"You know, I part of me appreciates what you're doing," Deadpool explained through mouthfuls of fried burrito. "But I can't get behind a world-conquering dickhead. I like shaking things up too, but I hear you've been punching entire cities here in this universe. Not cool, bro."

"What's that you're eating there?" Saitama asked, ignoring everything that the merc had said as he licked his lips. "Smells kind of good."

"What, the chimichanga? It's just a deep fried burrito," Deadpool explained as he tantalizingly held it up in front of the caped baldy' face. "I'd offer you one, but bad boys like you don't deserve the fried deliciousness! In fact, I've got something for you to eat instead…"

As the sex-having hero, Deadpool, typed at the laptop keyboard, a steaming pile of cow poop appeared in the nearby area. Licking his chops, the ugly baldy punchy guy crawled over to the pile of crap to take a long, dragged on bite of the steaming poo poo.

"HAHAHA whoa, now that's just disgusting!" Saitama laughed as his body began to crawl its way towards the bull excrement. "Okay, buddy, if you wanna play dirty hehe then consider me playing."

Before the red-suited man could react, the bald clown spat a droplet of saliva towards him. Of course, normally such an act would be harmless to anyone, albeit, gross, but an overpowered character like Saitama was able to use immense pressure to shoot the spit out of his mouth at the speed and force of an artillery shell.

"W-what the hell?!" Deadpool stammered as his hand was shot clean off by the colossal spit ball, where the laptop promptly dropped to the jungle floor and cracked open on an exposed tree root.

"You have a dangerous power there, red, I like it!" Saitama admitted as he regained control of his body and shot at the merc, grabbing him by his suit. "In another reality, I've sure we'd make great teammates! HAHA you have a funny way of going about things, I mean instead of outright killing me, you'd rather try and make me eat doody instead!"

With a massive thrust of his arm, the caped baldy threw Deadpool high into the sky, where upon shooting into the stratosphere, Saitama jumped after him.

"I don't know how good your healing powers are, but this ought to obliterate any trace of you," he whistled as his arms became a blur of motion. "Consecutive normal punches!"

"Why do you idiots read this garbage? Who likes to read about BS characters like this?" Deadpool asked you as he looked at the massive wave of city-annihilating attacks heading his way. "Man, I should have changed the name of this story to 'One Fart man' when I had the chance, that would have been hilarious."

With that, every fiber of Wayne Wilson's existence was disintegrated as even his powerful healing factor didn't stand a chance at healing his body while it was pulverized to the atomic level.

"Deadpool, eh?" Saitama laughed as he landed back on the ground, where he eyed the table of chimichangas. "Now you're dead and…you tried to make me eat poo, so…HAHA well, there's a joke in there somewhere!"

Just then, a fire ball fell from the sky and smashed into the jungle nearby. Shrugging, the caped baldy skipped over to investigate, with one of the fried burritos in his hand.

Groaning within a crater with much of his costume burnt, Homelander glared up at an unseen foe as he trembled back to his feet. Following his gaze, Saitama watched as a man in a large, flying, purple and green mech suit hovered above the trees.

"I don't take kindly to traitors," Lex Luthor stated flatly as he armed his weapons and prepared to finish Homelander off. "Your surprised expression tells me that you didn't expect me to be this strong. Fool, this suit was designed to combat Superman, a legendary foe that you could only dream of living up to."

"B-bastard, what's wrong with this universe?!" the blonde, muscle bound hero growled as he shot his laser vision at the scientist.

Shaking his bald head, Luthor engaged his suit's force fields to easily ward off the laser, where he next prepared to fire a concussive rocket at the false hero that would have made even a Kryptonian tingle.

"Whoa, hey, egghead!" Saitama interrupted from the ground, waving his arms around. "Were you the guy responsible for this attack? Because if so, then let me commend you on the robots, those were topnotch!"

"W-what the hell, how didn't my suit's radar pick you up?" Lex stammered from above, before he quickly calmed down. "Well, it's nice to see the objective in the flesh."

With that, the warsuit raised its arms and created a force field around the caped baldy, where Saitama merely began to pick his ear as the red, globular barrier supposedly kept him trapped on the ground.

"Now, everyone, hit him all at once!" the scientist exclaimed as he watched two more dots on his radar approach from the south.

Appearing from the jungle behind him, Saitama turned to watch as Yamcha and Sakura jumped at him with the intent to kill. With tons of built-up chakra in her fists, the young ninja's attack would be enough to obliterate multiple buildings, while the martial artist prepared to launch a Kamehameha wave at point-blank range. Lex, meanwhile, prepared to riddle their foe with a cell-killing radiation blast.

"Hehehe…you've brought some impressive people here, I mean in my old reality, it was rare that anyone would last more than one attack from me!" Saitama commended the scientist as he raised his fist. "But alas, watch what happens if I get the tiniest bit serious. Serious Series: Serious Punch!"

Throwing his next move with the tiniest bit of effort, the force field around the bald clown shattered instantly, while poor Sakura and Yamcha didn't even know what hit them as they were wiped from the face of the Earth as the explosive punch tore through the island and blasted out to sea. The 5 LexCarriers by the shore were annihilated in a tremendous explosion, while the destructive force of the attack continued further into the horizon and promptly obliterated around 50% of the NATO fleet that was standing by waiting. Clouds in the sky were dispersed for miles, and a wave of tsunamis was sent out to wreak havoc on several of the neighboring island nations.

Lex Luthor's warsuit was propelled back by the force of the punch despite it not even being aimed at him, where he was sent crashing into the jungle mountain range and blasted through the chunks of solid rock. Damaged but not destroyed, the injured scientist desperately yelled for his trump card to deploy itself, despite the fact that his fleet was largely destroyed.

Trembling in fear, Homelander remained on the ground after witnessing the catastrophic attack take out what remained of his former team, where he gulped in a reawakened fear of Saitama.

"Well, I guess that takes care of this," the caped baldy stated as he clapped his hands. "That was definitely fun for a while, but now it's time to relax again while we wait and see if the governments decide to surrender!"

Suddenly, Saitama detected something huge land on the other side of the island, where he immediately turned to face whatever it was as it fast approached him. Out of the jungles, Dabi's unconscious body flew and landed in a heap nearby Homelander, with the injured villain coughing in his sleep.

"I found this on my way in here," a familiar voice stated. "You should take better care of your teammates."

"HAHAHA ah, what a twist! We have a final member of the cringe dream team!" Saitama exclaimed excitedly as he squinted in the darkness to see who the figure was. "And who might you be?"

"I'm just a guy that's a hero for fun."